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16
Jan

Are We Born to be Free

Smiling Faces Sometimes Don't Tell the Truth

Here Because I Have To Be

Are We Born to be Free

Marriage comes with a contract—vows—that is as unnatural as marriage itself. It goes against the natural order of life. It is an unnatural coupling between two people who are different in a major way.  And it is the greatest agreement that never was. There is but one true relationship, and that is with your kin. Kinship is forever, it is the only relationship built to last. All others that are, or that may come to be are unnatural, and difficult to maintain, at best.

Marriage is the most personal and seems to be the hardest to hold together. It comes with its own remedy if it does not work out; a divorce. And coming in second would be on the job. Or any place where there are people and you feel you have to be there. For whatever the reason you think you must. If there were a list, it would be limitless. But, there is a good reason why a society needs these relationships. It all comes down to control.

Most humans as well as other animals, need their space and do not like to be controlled. It is the type of wild, if it could be called that, which is in all us. It is a strong part of self that makes us who we are; it is the core of how we came to be. We had to be different to be, just as we had to come in contact with each other and closer than some wanted to be. Does husband and wife in different beds come to mind here. Being close is more than just a factor in relationships, and it is not natural for long periods of time. You can start to get on each other’s nerves. And if you feel you don’t want to be there, and you feel you must you will compensate. And we know where this can lead.

There was a time in human history where consent had no standing and force was used as a means to an end. This was not just in personal relationships. It is done, even in this day in some measure in all walks of society. We have seats of power in all of our relationships, someone is always in charge. If not, there would be chaos and disorder. We would all be doing our own thing and going our own way. There could be no expectations, and there would not be much we could depend on.

Many of the ills of societies today as well as the past, is because we have to be near each other. When at times we would rather not. You want it your way and I want it mine. And the times are few when we want the same. I do it, you do it and nations do it. One could wonder, if one were so inclined, why is it this way, why can we not all just get along. We will never know why, but we do have to work with what is. This is the problem. We are not doing a good job living among each other. There is racism, sexism, ageism, religious differences and a host of other things that come between us. Now, this is what I do, I look to nature. There is one other thing that is central and at its core, someone has to be in charge.

There have to be leaders, followers and all that is in between for life to function as it should. As it is as well, we have one who owns the means of production and the other is the worker. It is as it is meant to be. What can and does cause a problem and disorder is when you have followers wanting to be leaders when they are not, and leaders that do not know how to lead. One is there by the order of their birth or lack of will and the other by force or their order of birth. This causes an unnatural balance that goes against nature. Of course some who follow begin to lead and work their way up. They had it in them all along. They were where they were only because of circumstance. Nothing is so small that it is not big enough to grow.

There are some who say, nothing ever changes, the way it is is the way it has always been. I say nothing is the way that it has always been. Not a thing that was made to change has remained the same. One thing that does not change is the roles of nature. The male and the female were given their roles for life by the Creator. He handed his greatest gift of life to us with trust. If we even think about going against the will of God, life will be no more. Where we are in the order of life can change, if change is what we want. The changes may be so small that it seems that there are no changes at all, but when milestones have been reached, you will know.

One thing we all should remember, with freedom comes responsibility. The freedom to speak comes with knowing when or not. The freedom to choose comes with knowing the choices. And the freedom to be you comes with knowing who you are.

Everyone wants it, but few know what to do with it when they get it. There are some who suffer from role confusion when they are no longer bound by society’s conventions. They want the role that has been reserved by nature for others, and turn their backs on their own. Some things can change; the nature of our existence will not change to the extent that roles will reverse. If so where would life go. We are created with certain attributes, both male and female alike. This is by nature and it was designed by God. It is the way he wanted it to be. And this is the way it shall be, or not a thing will be. None is as blind as the one who refuse to see. When you go against nature, you go against your best interest. You can only get to where you want to go from where you are. We have been cast in our role what we do now is act it out.

Are all things that are viewed as equal, equal? To be equal, what is it, you may ask. Is it more than a feeling? In some relationships, if not most, it is what it is thought to be, or not. What are the benchmarks? We think we know it when we see it. For many, it is a state of mind. It is what we see it as being. What it is, is fluid and open to change with a change in status. There is no agreed way to measure it. With that being so, equal many times is no more than what we feel it to be. It is a thought by those who feel they need it. If it is done to the extent that it is done, too much has been done. You cannot make what is outside of you what it is not just because it is what you think you want.

There is not a thing in life that we can say without a doubt, is equal to another. This is when looked at through the lens of equality. It is a goal that is out of reach because it does not exist beyond conception. Life was not designed to be that way. We cannot get it and we cannot give it. It is a power we do not have. Even when we mean well, it will not happen. Each thing is different from the other thing. No matter what they may have in common. No two are the same. And no two outcomes will be the same. All things are created one at a time. Each is its own. What determines what comes our way is most times by our own design. Not always, but what we do with what comes our way is, no matter the circumstance.

I say, be the best that you can be the only person that you can. And that is being who you were meant to be; that is you. The real you. Let no one tell you who you should be because you can answer to no one but you. It is not possible for anyone to know you the way you know you. So do not let them think they do.

 

I Am

For You Too

16
Jan

Are We Born to be Free

Smiling Faces Sometimes Don't Tell the Truth

Here Because I Have To Be

Are We Born to be Free

Marriage comes with a contract—vows—that is as unnatural as marriage itself. It goes against the natural order of life. It is an unnatural coupling between two people who are different in a major way.  And it is the greatest agreement that never was. There is but one true relationship, and that is with your kin. Kinship is forever, it is the only relationship built to last. All others that are, or that may come to be are unnatural, and difficult to maintain, at best.

Marriage is the most personal and seems to be the hardest to hold together. It comes with its own remedy if it does not work out; a divorce. And coming in second would be on the job. Or any place where there are people and you feel you have to be there. For whatever the reason you think you must. If there were a list, it would be limitless. But, there is a good reason why a society needs these relationships. It all comes down to control.

Most humans as well as other animals, need their space and do not like to be controlled. It is the type of wild, if it could be called that, which is in all us. It is a strong part of self that makes us who we are; it is the core of how we came to be. We had to be different to be, just as we had to come in contact with each other and closer than some wanted to be. Does husband and wife in different beds come to mind here. Being close is more than just a factor in relationships, and it is not natural for long periods of time. You can start to get on each other’s nerves. And if you feel you don’t want to be there, and you feel you must you will compensate. And we know where this can lead.

There was a time in human history where consent had no standing and force was used as a means to an end. This was not just in personal relationships. It is done, even in this day in some measure in all walks of society. We have seats of power in all of our relationships, someone is always in charge. If not, there would be chaos and disorder. We would all be doing our own thing and going our own way. There could be no expectations, and there would not be much we could depend on.

Many of the ills of societies today as well as the past, is because we have to be near each other. When at times we would rather not. You want it your way and I want it mine. And the times are few when we want the same. I do it, you do it and nations do it. One could wonder, if one were so inclined, why is it this way, why can we not all just get along. We will never know why, but we do have to work with what is. This is the problem. We are not doing a good job living among each other. There is racism, sexism, ageism, religious differences and a host of other things that come between us. Now, this is what I do, I look to nature. There is one other thing that is central and at its core, someone has to be in charge.

There have to be leaders, followers and all that is in between for life to function as it should. As it is as well, we have one who owns the means of production and the other is the worker. It is as it is meant to be. What can and does cause a problem and disorder is when you have followers wanting to be leaders when they are not, and leaders that do not know how to lead. One is there by the order of their birth or lack of will and the other by force or their order of birth. This causes an unnatural balance that goes against nature. Of course some who follow begin to lead and work their way up. They had it in them all along. They were where they were only because of circumstance. Nothing is so small that it is not big enough to grow.

There are some who say, nothing ever changes, the way it is is the way it has always been. I say nothing is the way that it has always been. Not a thing that was made to change has remained the same. One thing that does not change is the roles of nature. The male and the female were given their roles for life by the Creator. He handed his greatest gift of life to us with trust. If we even think about going against the will of God, life will be no more. Where we are in the order of life can change, if change is what we want. The changes may be so small that it seems that there are no changes at all, but when milestones have been reached, you will know.

One thing we all should remember, with freedom comes responsibility. The freedom to speak comes with knowing when or not. The freedom to choose comes with knowing the choices. And the freedom to be you comes with knowing who you are.

Everyone wants it, but few know what to do with it when they get it. There are some who suffer from role confusion when they are no longer bound by society’s conventions. They want the role that has been reserved by nature for others, and turn their backs on their own. Some things can change; the nature of our existence will not change to the extent that roles will reverse. If so where would life go. We are created with certain attributes, both male and female alike. This is by nature and it was designed by God. It is the way he wanted it to be. And this is the way it shall be, or not a thing will be. None is as blind as the one who refuse to see. When you go against nature, you go against your best interest. You can only get to where you want to go from where you are. We have been cast in our role what we do now is act it out.

Are all things that are viewed as equal, equal? To be equal, what is it, you may ask. Is it more than a feeling? In some relationships, if not most, it is what it is thought to be, or not. What are the benchmarks? We think we know it when we see it. For many, it is a state of mind. It is what we see it as being. What it is, is fluid and open to change with a change in status. There is no agreed way to measure it. With that being so, equal many times is no more than what we feel it to be. It is a thought by those who feel they need it. If it is done to the extent that it is done, too much has been done. You cannot make what is outside of you what it is not just because it is what you think you want.

There is not a thing in life that we can say without a doubt, is equal to another. This is when looked at through the lens of equality. It is a goal that is out of reach because it does not exist beyond conception. Life was not designed to be that way. We cannot get it and we cannot give it. It is a power we do not have. Even when we mean well, it will not happen. Each thing is different from the other thing. No matter what they may have in common. No two are the same. And no two outcomes will be the same. All things are created one at a time. Each is its own. What determines what comes our way is most times by our own design. Not always, but what we do with what comes our way is, no matter the circumstance.

I say, be the best that you can be the only person that you can. And that is being who you were meant to be; that is you. The real you. Let no one tell you who you should be because you can answer to no one but you. It is not possible for anyone to know you the way you know you. So do not let them think they do.

 

16
Jan

Why Your Relationship Does Not Work Anymore

The relationship is not the problem. The problem is when we try to make it what it is not. It is what it always was and what it will be. It can change but it will not change what it is. When first we meet no other thought will move aside what is then so firmly put. The seed grows and never change from what it is meant to be.

16
Jan

Camden, Arkansas My Home Town (Lafayette HS)

Camden

Camden, Arkansas

Part I Chapter Five

Not All Was What it Seemed to Be

Camden is where it happened for me. It is just down the road a piece—about 55 miles—from Hope. Hope is the home town of William Jefferson Clinton, known by most as Bill. Our Bill, you know, the one who was president. When I first visited Hope, Bill Clinton was just a kid around my age. He was and is a bit older. Who had ever heard of him. So, he is not what comes to mind when I think of Hope. Though, I am all but sure Bill Clinton made himself known to all who were within the sound of his voice, and beyond. No, what come to mind when I think of Hope are the large watermelons that they grow there. I do mean large, three times as large as you would see elsewhere. They have a deep green rind, juicy red meat and dark brown to black seeds. We all just loved to eat them and spit out the seeds. And they were a sight to see, as well. Folks are, to this day, still talking about them, and eating no less I am sure. They are legend. Hope is known for the largest watermelons in the world. This great accomplishment is celebrated each year with a festival that goes back to the 1920s. How did I get from a city street to a watermelon patch?

Well, at my school—the all mighty Lafayette Eagles—we had an agriculture class that all male students were required to take. We had not one but three years (?) of what at times could be a scary affair. Mr. Smith was our instructor. He was a short rotund man with no discernible features of note. There was nothing about him that stood out. He did have a limp that no one seem to notice or just did not let on that they did. Well, there is a thing or two that the women took notice of. He was single. He had never married. And was the most eligible bachelor in the area. He was sought after as if he dripped gold. That is until he surprised—I would go so far as to say shocked—everyone by getting married and fathering a son when he was in his late fifties or early sixties.

There was something about Mr. Smith that the women were attracted to other than his money and standing in the community. Could it have been something to do with the “mountain oysters” he ate? I wonder. One of his favorite things to do was to me very cruel and he would take some of us along. The owners wanted it done to their pigs. When asked he was more than willing to oblige all requests. Mr. Smith would castrate the young pigs by surgically removing both of their testes. And these he would keep for his consumption. We all thought it was gross, for his partners, maybe not.  It was a painful thing for me to watch and it pains me even now to think about it. How painful this removal of the gonads must have been for the pigs in a physical sense and we do not know what it does to their mind. Yes, I do believe they have one, as I do for all animals.

The main reason for this barbaric procedure is to improve the taste and smell of the meat for the consumer. As repulsive as it is to think about, there is no doubt, there is an odor and flavor problem in cooked pork from intact males. Well, there will be no more sex for these guys. The testes—that produce the compounds involved in eliciting sexual behavior in gilts and sows during the mating process—have been taken. Mr. Smith knew best, I guess you could say. It seems he had always been the Ag. Teacher and would beat your back with what, at times, could be perceived as a perverse satisfaction. He would beat your back as if you had another one to offer when the one you have wears out. We are not talking buttocks here, which is bad enough. No, this is back as in the rear upper part of your body. These “whuppings” could be for almost any kind of offense. But more often than not, it would be for not doing what you had been told to do. Top of the list would be not turning in an assignment or not having the answer when called on in class. This would bring it on, as would just the hint of wrongdoing. Of course, wrongdoing is to be defined by him. If you miss church, his church, of which I was a member, you would get a beating. If you looked at him the wrong way, you guessed it. 

But the worst of all beatings would be if Mr. Smith overheard you call him chuck. I never really knew why, other than during his football days that is what he was called and he had a limp from his battles on the field. Maybe that is it. Whatever the reason, he would lose it and any sense of control would be lost. What he would do to you then would be called assault today. He would turn your back into “chopped” meat. His weapon of choice was a very thick piece of leather, formal name, the strap. As when he would say, “come here Oboy, I am gonna beat your back.” “You’re just trifling, go get my strap.” Beginning in the first grade, or there about, you start to develop a fear of the dreadful day when you had to take shop. Not because of shop, but because of who would be teaching it.

Mr. Smith had a reputation and he lived up to it. It was well deserved. There were many prayers offered up, I am sure, for his demise. The parents loved him. He did slow down as he grew older, but he did not retire. Well, that is, until the schools were desegregated. He most assuredly was not going to lay a hand on the White students. I guess you could say we were better off for the experience. If nothing else and there was more, this is how I learned of the world’s largest watermelons. What a price we pay to learn. I must admit, I never received a beating from Mr. Smith, though I came close. I was actually one of his favorites, that is, until I let my impulsive nature get the best of me on a trip from the Ouachita County Fair. There are a couple of things worth noting; Mr. Smith was a good teacher. And usually, only those who deserved his wrath were on the receiving end of the strap. Some were set on the right path by his actions. And it was a learning experience for all.

When you take the agriculture class, you are signed up as a member of the New Farmers of America (NFA). We would visit the County Fair in Hope each year, mostly as a treat. Who knows, I may have brush shoulders with our future president. Not very likely, we were the NFA. The new was reserved for the Negro student. You cannot overlook the irony of saying that the descendants of slaves are new to farming. It is all we were allowed to do. And it was bred in us. The “future” was not yet ours to hold, however.

The future was reserved for the White student. They were the Future Farmers of America with all that came with it. Back then to wish you were White did not mean you wanted to be. You just wanted some, a little bit, of what Whites had. To have the freedom to be you, which we surely did not. Of course that was not to be. All we could do was look and dream. Our trails did not cross. The law of the South was separate but equal. This is a doctrine to justify what in reality will not be. Just as no two living things can be equal even with the best of intentions. And here, the real intent was to undermine federal mandates under the 14thamendment of the United States Constitution that guaranteed equal protection under the law to all citizens. It is a goal that will not be reached. It is just a myth, a false motivator in disguise. This will always be true  when you need and have to ask for permission. No matter who or where you are.

I did not think of it much, if at all, then, but Camden was, and is, known more for other things than being within striking distance of Hope. They are worthy of note. First off, we have Susan McDougal. She could say no wrong against President Bill Clinton. Her home is in Camden. When asked by the Grand Jury if Bill Clinton lied in his testimony during the Whitewater trial, she refused to answer. This led to a jail sentence of 18 months for contempt of court.

There are others to be noted and are worthy of mention. Ne-Yo, who is an American pop, and R&B singer-songwriter and musician, is from Camden. So are brothers Stacy and Shaun Andrews, players in the National Football League. There are a couple of others, as well. Shaun revealed in a 2009 New York Times interview that he was suffering from depression. When commenting to a question he stated, “There’s some good and bad in there, if you know the song ‘Tears of a Clown,’ that would kind of describe my past a little bit up to now.” It brought back memories of when I would sing the same song, and another Smoky Robinson tune “Tracks of my Tears.”

Sam Walton, founder of Walmart, opened one of his first five and ten cent stores on Adams Avenue in my hometown. Now I am not so sure about Sam’s connection to Camden, but I take it to be true. The Grapette Company the maker of the “best grape soda ever made” was founded in Camden. It is the same formula that Walmart use in its “Sam’s Choice Grapette,” today. This is the short list. Camden is known for much more. For a small southern city, it has much to be proud of, or not. There are two chapters in its history that I would not celebrate or wave a flag for, no way. The one with the greatest impact, in my mind, is when the founding fathers made the decision to transport thousands of enslaved Blacks to the area to work on the cotton plantations. My grandfather’s kin were hauled in from Virginia much as you would move your prized cattle. Yes, they were victims of this mass crime against humanity. What is more despicable than the institution of slavery? It is dehumanization of the worst kind. This legacy was handed down to my mother from her father to me. The other sordid chapter is when the Confederates won the battle of Poison Springs on April 18, 1864. These are turning points and a stain on Camden’s history, as I see it. And so should history, a sense of honor it is not. What decent person would think so. Well, one the boll weevil took care of and the Union army did the rest. Camden is where I grew up and I did not know any of this then. It would not have made a difference. I was in my world.

I came of age there, if it could be called that, in the Brown Hill community. The brown in Brown Hill is not because of the color of its residents, but the name of its founder. Though it was and to this day still is a Black community. We had not grown proudly into Black in those days. When we talked about us, it was Negro. When we were talked to or about, it was niggra or colored. That is when the speaker was being polite, and there were more than a few times they were not, so it was just plain nigger.

 

16
Jan

If You Don’t Mind I Rather Not

16
Jan

The Sense of Taste

The Flavor of Love

The Flavor of Love

Taste of the Body Sweet

(The Sense of Taste)

 

Taste is one of the five traditional senses. It is the sensation produced when a substance in the mouth reacts chemically with receptors of taste buds. The sensation of taste has been categorized into five basic tastes. Well, I am here to add another one.

The taste of the body sweet is like no other and you will see. Not sweet as in the food that you eat or she is such a sweet little child is that not neat. No, I am talking about grown up in the heat of passion sweet. It is the first sweet flavor known to man. Sweetmeat, the kind that will make you tell your mother to stay out of your business. Such a delicacy is this meat, you will when you partake, say to yourself, this is the best meat I ever ate. It will make you get up early in the morning and stay up late at night. When you taste it, you know that all is right. The body sweet is an experience not everyone has the finesse to enjoy. It is not the side dish; it is part of the main course. Our tongue and the roof of our mouth are covered with thousands of tiny taste buds. It is no wonder that we can taste as well as we do. And taste is the way we know it’s good.

    Some TongueIt Is How You Think

Some Tongue
It Is How You Think

We have between 2000 and 5000 taste buds and each one of them knows what it likes. Taste and smell work hand in hand, the smell draws you there and the taste makes sure you stay. There is not a thing better to satisfy a man size hunger than a healthy serving of savory meat. Don’t bring a knife, you do not need a fork, for this meat is so tender you can enjoy it the way that it is. After all, it is the body sweet. You may ask what is it about it that makes it so swell, if you do not know it is best that I not tell. When you see a couple and it shows that they are in bliss, it is no secret to them what is up with this. Yes, that’s right; they know the taste of the body sweet. It is good for her and it is good to him why would you need more when you have it within. It was created for us not by us.

When we eat something, the saliva in our mouth helps break down our food. This causes the receptor cells in our tastes buds to send messages through sensory nerves to our brain. Our brain then tells us what flavors we are tasting. But how would you know if the brain is confused by the things you add and put on to make it taste and look better. You cannot know how good it is until you know what you’ve got. Organic is the best for us to eat. No chemical, additives or things that are not natural, which is the way we are meant to be. Taste is the weakest of the five senses. This is what they say. For this reason, and some more, the smell and sight must be right for the truest taste to make its way to you. “When people talk about their taste, they’re really talking about the smell rather than the taste,” said Dr. Scott P. Stringer, chairperson of the otolaryngology department at the University of Mississippi Medical Center. This is true there is no doubt, but the smell that is good to you, have to pass the test of taste for the flavor to come through.

Now, some swear off meat and say they would never have it on their plate. Well that is a right and for them it is best. Because to get the best out of what we do, we have to appreciate it for what it is. We are mind, body and soul. We smell, touch and taste the body sweet, and we do not have to be told. Our mind and our soul is another thing, they belong to each one of us. So if you want to know what is on my mind, you have to talk with me. If you would rather not, just watch what I say and do, it is how I think. And as for the soul, the soul is our core. It is who we are.

So, go on and do your thing. What is for you may not be for me, and the things I say and do may not be for you. We are male and female the way we were made to be, I for you and you for me. If that is the way, you want it to be. There is not a thing about us we should not explore, for we are all we have until we are gone. After you and I are here no more, all we know is that it will be the end. You should not and I will not as well, let there be a day when we say, my only regret is that I did not do it my way. Those who rather not partake of the bountiful feast will be quick to give you a reason why you should not. We have but one life and it was given to us for us to live, for this no one else can do. This you must believe.

The Taste of You

The Taste of You

Remember, now, and this is important, a woman has more taste buds than a man does. So taste up the body sweet. After it is all said and done, it is how you think.

16
Jan

I Will See You There

16
Jan

The Birth of Hate ♦ In the Heart of Woman the Seed Did Grow

The Birth of Hate

In the Heart of Woman the Seed Did Grow

Prologue:

Be warned, you read The Birth of Hate at the risk of having shifting emotions, rising passions and unrestrained thoughts. It does not promote neither does it condemn an ideology, religion or cultural belief. It is about what is, was or could have been. You will love it, hate it, or not. What you will not do is nothing.

What is hate? Why do we do it and when did it start. There are many answers to this question with no one definition settled on by past and present day thinkers. Though keep in mind that hate is brought on most often by the action of others. There is a cause and effect. We are not born with hate in our hearts it does come to life in our mind. It is an emotion that lives on as long as we are reminded that it is there; a flame once lit that is not easy to snuff out. And the source of our hate and resentment is what gives it strength. The strength to smolder long after the flame has died down. It is so strong it often times cloud our judgment and cause us to think in ways we rather not.

Here is what some of the great minds have to say about hate.

            to destroy the source of its unhappiness.”

  • Based on writings by James W. Underhill loving and hating invariably involve an object, or a person, and therefore, a relationship with something or someone.

  • Penguin Dictionary of Psychology defines hate as a “deep, enduring, intense emotion expressing animosity, anger, and hostility towards a person, group, or object.”

  • René Descartes viewed hate as “an awareness that something is bad combined with an urge to withdraw from it.”

There are many more who have their take on what it is when we hate. One thing for sure, it is a very strong feeling. That for me has no redeeming value; though, there are some who feel that it does. I believe what my life has told me and so should you. If what we want is to understand what hate is, we must first know why we do it and when did we start. So, with that, why don’t we just start at the beginning. What do you believe? Were we created or did we evolve. Either way, all that is or has been had  a first of its kind.

Created by God or just plain evolved, Man by nature has been given the role to rule over the woman.

Did this statement cause your pulse to quicken and your heart to race? I ask you this because I think it may have. It is no wonder; though, no matter our point of view, or that of the bible, it is not shared by all. On the face of it, the Book of Genesis reads in a way that could cause you to come away with a belief that God was the first to hate, or to be hated.  The thing is, it did come from some place. And just where is that place. An assortment of philosophers, those who pontificates and other worldly men and women have their theories and thoughts of what hate is. I will leave that to them. What is more important to me is, how hate came to be. How and why it started. Follow along with me as I lay out my thoughts.

Genesis is the book of the beginning, of the creation of life and all that is. This is what the bible tells us. There are two verses that certainly could be the seeds of hate. Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of which God had warned them not to do. For this transgression, he placed on them, for lack of a better word, a curse. This could be construed as the first instance of hate. And the curse that he placed on Eve is exceptionally harsh: “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” Not only has the wrath come down on Man and woman, the man shall rule over the woman.

The curse on Eve would seem to be laced with a bit of venom that is at the core, to this day, of the man/woman relationship. In the real world, God’s design for woman plays a major role in what we think of each other. And if we tell the truth most of the time what we think is not very good.

If you choose to take the bible as the word of God or not, there is no denying that the treatment of man and woman is not equal, nor is it meant to be. It is the way life is. And with no doubt is a cause of resentment and hate. No person with a sense of self wants to be ruled over. This curse or will of God any right-thinking person would see it, as it would be felt. And find it hard to deny that it would not be an easy thing to live with. It is not a stretch to think that Eve would have hate in her heart for not only man but also God for bringing on her such a horrible fate. To have Adam as her master, the only man there is, could not have been an easy thought to think.

It is not easy to dodge what is plain to see. Not just in eons past, but what we see today. Perhaps that is why there is such a high rate of divorce and couples finding it so hard to stay together. You read and hear it all the time that a marriage takes work. I say work is what we do to get what we want and need, we should not have to work as hard to keep it. With so much work, how would you find time and space to appreciate the life that you have?  It is certainly one of those things that should cause you to think. But if this is in fact true—as it appears that it is— the hate we see to this day is firmly rooted in the past. There has been fertile ground from the beginning. It is clear that God’s words would be reason enough for Eve to be the birth mother of hate and female resentment. We see it all around us. It festers and comes to a head much too often.

Let us call it for what it is; both Adam and Eve were set up to fail. And fail they did. You want proof. Just one killing of another person is enough. This is not to say that they ever took a life; the bible does not say they did. But their progeny did and has since forth. It is done as a way to get what we want or destroy what we do not. It is where some go first to settle a dispute. The bible is replete with wars and conflicts that almost always end in death. In fact, nations were exhorted to fight each other. Now this is not the fault of woman, this came after her, not because of her. Though, in Eve the seed was planted. Now, of course, I say what I do only if the bible’s story is true. True or not, nature is. And if we looked at it from that point of view, the make up of man and woman would not change. The way that we live our lives would be the same.

It does go deep whether it comes from the “theory” of evolution, or by the will of God. Now, let us look further. No matter if we do or not, one thing we know, hate began with us. And another thing we know is that a woman can hate men even though she loves her own man. This, of course, was not so with Adam and Eve. If you believe it is just a yarn, it very well may be. Yet and still, it would be one tall tale that has been true to life. There are many who do believe and they believe strongly that the word is the power. The power that Man has over woman is at the root of human relationships and all that grows from it. It has been this way as far back as our minds can take us. But, is this the way it is meant to be? What is done will not be changed. What can be done now can be. What is next will follow.

It was God’s command that Man would “rule over woman.” This is as taught by religious doctrine, words of the bible and other sacred books. Those words pack a great deal of power in thought and deed. It is there where we should first look to understand the human condition. We can deny it, pretend it is not there and hope it will go away. But these three words are the foundation of how much of life is lived today. For those who believe in creation these words are inherently true. Even when viewed through the lens of science the relationship does not change much, if at all. By nature, it is still at the core and is the base of survival of the species. Both man and woman must agree or one must dominate. This would have been the Man for the woman could refuse to mate at which time reproduction would cease.

Creation or evolution, either way, no matter your view, it is not hard to understand why woman would be the first to show signs of hate. How could she not when God is sounding more and more like a man and is promising her pain. And Man is giving it to her. No matter how it may have been, man and woman had to come to together for the good of the whole. It could be no us without them. The human race could not survive without it. When it is all said and done, and we look at what the male and female mean to life, I do not think that hate was intended. It is just a feeling brought on by a thought, and the actions of others. Though it does go deep and is hard to suppress. For good reason we now know.

There was a time in our history when consent had no standing and force was used when all else failed. There were no laws to protect the life and liberty of woman. Man did with her as he pleased. The only rights the woman had was the one to do as she was told. And if she refused, there would be a price to pay. All the things that man provided would be withheld until she gave in. If not, she would be beaten in to submission or worse. Depictions of how the Man/Woman relationship may have been in prehistoric times show that brute force was the first choice of action to gain compliance rather than the last. The male would just take what he wanted. To this day, it still exists in some measure in most societies of the world; though, we are not quick to own up to it.

Here is another thing that we will not admit to. You or I, male or female will have the controlling power in our relationship. One of us will have the last word, so to speak. Someone has to be the one. When more than one thing is set in motion, either at the same or different times, hardly if ever will they stop at the same time. Of course with two people it would be hard to measure unless one knew that he or she should not be the one to have the last say. Now this would have been the woman for sure. And let us be honest here, it is much that way today. When one listens while the other talks it is a conversation. If it is all listening and no chance to talk you are engaging with a dictator. It would be you being told what to think or not.

Love and hate, far apart yet so close. At first, there may or may not have been love but for sure, there were those times when man and woman were close if just in the physical sense. I don’t know about the warm and fuzzy feelings. But certainly, they did mate. We are proof of that. And it would be reasonable to believe the signs of love were there early on. But being forced to mate against your will even once could turn any good feelings into hate. To feel you have no power to resist can cause resentment and the seeds of hate to grow. Love is a gift—hate is pain. One you give and accept freely the other you handle as best you can. It does not matter if you are on the giving or receiving end of things. Love and hate were born in the heart and mind of woman. And there is just a thin line between the two.

Love or hate, created, or evolved, we likely would not be here today if woman had a strong hate for man. That is unless there was a need only the man could provide and there was. Protection and food was what the man had in his favor. It is not likely that his sexual prowess or charming ways won over the woman. However it all came about, and we know it did, there was a man and woman of some kind to birth and bring forth the human race. It would not have been easy for them to mate or her to conceive if the woman did not want man near her. It is clear though, that he protected her and made sure that her basic needs were met. Now this could have been just for obvious reasons. That is, for her to be healthy and strong enough to bear children. Of course, it is possible and some would say likely, that sex along was a good enough reason. It was certainly made to feel good for a purpose, as we know not all things do. As there are things that we do that feel bad, and that is for a purpose, as well.

There was not as much to be concerned about other than survival during the early days. Politics and the agendas we see today were not even a thought back then. In the beginning, sex more likely than not was the sole reason for wanting to mate. But if woman did not want man near her I could see this as the harbinger of force to copulate. It would be reasonable to think that it was not this way at first. Having sex, by nature, is meant to give pleasure. This is to assure that the man and woman would have the desire to do it again. It is the timing of the act that would have/could have been an issue. Much as it is to this day. The drive of the man and woman was not meant to be the same, for a reason. Just a bit of tinkering with our thoughts will tell us why.

Another thing that could have caused woman to hate is the taking on of more than one mate by man. Here is where nature, God or however we came to be comes in to play again. The act of conception is much shorter than a pregnancy so by nature man would impregnate more than one woman at a time. It was a matter of survival. To grow and prosper, there were needs that must be met and the offspring carried forth the seeds of life. The mating of the man and woman is the way that it was done. No matter how it all came about or whatever the scenario, we still cannot get away from the fact that it takes a male and a female to produce an offspring. Though, the burden is on the woman. Her body has to prepare itself each month for conception. Then she must carry the baby for 9 months. A mother’s instinct overpowered by a wish to survive could have caused her to think it was a thing she would rather do without. The maternal death rate must have been high. This most certainly could have added to the hate that the woman had for man.

We know that many mothers to be did not survive the nine months of pregnancy. And that just as many died during childbirth. It would not have taken long for the woman to make the connection between the man chasing her down, mating, and death. You do not have to be a deep thinker or a know it all, to know that this would add to the consternation of the mothers to be. Their detestation for the one who put them there would not be helped either I am sure. Mating, carrying of the baby and childbirth is how we are brought to life. Whether by God or evolution, this is the process by which we become a thinking and breathing human being.

Nature was “designed” in a way to further the growth and development of the species. There had to be a relationship between the man and woman that would allow this to happen. Even if there was some type of force or coercion. And Man would be the one to do this. He had the greater strength. It was given to him to protect against the threat to life. This means all dangers including to the creation of life by man and woman. How it came first, we do not know for sure, but it was now on them to mate and nurture the offspring. The proliferation of the species is by design, and was necessary for the birth and evolution of human life. Man had the power. So force was used when force was required. There were no laws for man, nature ruled. Hate either started here at the very beginning, or a little further down the line. It would seem that it was inevitable. It was built in or mistakes were made.

The man had to ready to copulate, therefore, would have to do so when aroused. This could be at any time or place. The woman on the other hand, may or may not have been receptive to the act. It is not hard to imagine, that this could cause some bitter feelings. And when taken with all else could have given the woman a reason to hate. I am not so sure. What I do know is that it takes a man and a woman to create another human. If you believe we were created or evolved it will not change a thing. It will all remain the same. Each sex was designed in a way to allow for mating. This was not by chance. Or is that not the way it is meant to be. Even so, hate does not stop where it began. It spreads like a virus or a deadly disease.

A passage from the Book of Genesis reads, “And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.” Now here I am thinking that both Cain and Abel’s jobs were the kind of occupations that would be looked upon as a good thing contributing to the health and well-being of others. Now in the next reading we will see that is not so for poor Cain, “but unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.” Now that he is angered and full of hate, he kills his brother Able. Hate has been learned by him. Or did he just feel it. From here, the bible is full of wars, killings, and rapes. This story is from the bible so either you believe it or you do not. One thing for sure, hate was born from us and all of these things have come to pass. Now let us look at it from an evolution point of view.

The biological process of evolution and the beginning of life on earth, for many, is no more or less believable than the Book of Genesis. Even the most noted scientist would find it complicated to understand.  A line has been drawn and sides have been taken. It is the main event of all things challenged. Were we created or did we evolve. The beliefs are just as strong for both sides. Each is steadfast in their beliefs. Well, why not both. I call it Creavolution. Creation because at some point we did not exist, it is how we came to be. It matters not if you believe in God or religion. It is so. Evolution gives shape to our lives and it is how we grow. These two are the forces that are one with all life all the time. It is the new, which was created, and all things that evolved from it. Look at it this way; we have to use what we know to understand what we do not. At one time, you and I were not here, now we are. The sperm and egg of our parents created us.

We were created to evolve to create and we evolve when our needs are met. All that we need was here before us. But, we do have to be taught. Where there is a need there is a way, if there is no way, there is no need. It is called nature it is called life. For life to exist there must be the means of survival. That is, if we are to survive, and that is what whomever or whatever created the first of us wanted us to do. That is why hate was not strong enough to destroy life. Though, many lives have been destroyed.

Life, as we understand it, is to create more life. That is to be fruitful and multiply. It is what keeps all living things alive. What else we do is up to us and is just a by-product not the main event. All things must first be to grow and become. Growth starts when life begins. And when life began soon after came hate. The seeds were planted in fertile soil. And the harvest thereof we will reap. The symptoms remain the same when the cause does not change. Hate lives on for as long as we are reminded of its presence.

In the beginning, Man was given no reason to hate. He was in charge. He had it going on. The burden to hate was placed on woman for she was to receive just what man would offer. If we changed the names it would still be the same. Man and woman is now how we are known. We have a name, which is our label. We must use the labels that we know by shapes and words to make sense of our world. As we grow and change our labels will change. We will not have a thought of what a thing is if it does not have a label. Nor will we know its purpose. No one would know who we are and we would not know them. You and I would not even know who or what we are.There are things a society must have in place for us to thrive and grow. Labels are one of these things.  Life would not be the same without them.

There are groups, some well known, and others not so much, that represent the interest of women. This is a good thing, but some of the things they say, I wonder. One of the things goes to the heart of our existence. That is that they are not a part of man when all the time we are a part of each other. They refuse to carry the woman label and say that they will not stay in “their place.” They refer to themselves as womayn. They do not want to be part of man, and their thinking is somewhat understandable. Though yet and still, we are from the same beginning and alike in so many ways. And the difference does not amount to much.

If you take away our reproductive organs, and make further adjustments to our anatomy, you will not have a male or female, you will have a person. But that is not the way it was meant to be. Still we have some who say they have no place and do not put a label on them. We are here, thus we do have a place and a label. Yes, if we accept it or not it is so. In many ways, just being a person with a name, which is a label, tells who we are and where we stand. Some things we can change, others—of course—we cannot.

We all have a place starting in our mother’s womb. It comes with a label that tells who we are. And our place is in the order of our birth, as well. This does not change. There are labels that we have that will change as our roles in life change. When we feel that we do not have a place, we will get less from the place we are in now. What we do know is that man was gifted, or damned— depends on your perspective— with the physical power to rule. To change the label from woman to womayn now will not change what is, the label cannot come before what is to be labeled. In other words, it must first be before it is. And woman and man is. What can change is the woman’s place. For we all have a place to belong. If I am man and you hate me, I should not have to wonder why because it is in the details of our existence.

We were born to belong not to be alone. To do so we have to fit in some place. We must stand up before we can stand out. This we do with the help from those who support who we are and what we do. This should be that place where you can be person who you really are. That can be in doubt if you are woman.

When restrained by the rules of nature and the dictates of man the mind can traverse that thin line between love and hate. She just may have—I cannot say for sure—felt put upon by the cruel hand of fate. That creavolution—how I believe we came about—dealt her a card less than she needed to play. You could wonder why, but there is no need. In the beginning, life was basic. The drive to reproduce was born in man. It is the one thing that would assure the survival of the species. We came in to existence with no room for error. Equality of the sexes could not be thought of. Life would not allow for it, then. The mind could not go there for there was no basis in the present reality. So, this is one time in our history when yes, we; both man and woman, did have to stay in our place.

Mating was helped by instinct and the sense of smell. Man and woman likely did not look that different from each other so it would not have been looks. And unlike today, sexual intercourse was not face to face. It is likely very little if any show of affection took place. Romance was a thing for the future. It would be interesting to know just why humans thought this would be the thing to do. There is no other animal does this. Is there anything take from this? Man and woman were covered with hair—for good reason—with just four things of note setting them apart. Those things that made the difference, of course, were the sex organs and the female breast. It had to be this way for survival and feeding the young.

Whether we believe we were created or evolved, we could not be the same. We had to be different to be at all. Man and woman were built to accommodate each other for mating, if not a thing else. And man was given the choice by way of strength to choose. It would not be a stretch to think that the woman would not be eager to accept this type of arrangement. For better or worst some would say not much has changed. That may be, but survival is our strongest drive and sex is how we do it.

“And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden. And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch. And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehu’ja-el: and Mehu’ja-el begat Methu’sa-el: and Methu’sa-el begat Lamech. Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah. And Lamech took unto him two wives.” Now this here was just another reason for woman to hate.

Love or hate the man and woman have a bond. We are the only one of our kind. There can be no one without the two. Did you notice that man was written with a capital M when there was no need to do so. It may seem—to some—that male chauvinism was at work. No, it was done on purpose and for a reason. What were your emotions, did you feel hate or anger and want to strike back. If so, it is likely you are woman. And for man, you should not have to wonder why.

Epilogue:

What do you think, take a moment to gather your thoughts. You just witnessed The Birth of Hate. You can say with assurance that you are among the first to do so. You have seen what no one has had the privilege to see for it has not been said before. Though, in the truest sense hate is not new born, how we see its birth is. It was not meant to be an indictment and it is not. It was just a walk back in time. An extrapolation of a given using logic as a guide. You do not have to agree with what I have written, but please to not hate me for it.

 

16
Jan

Hope and The High and Mighty

16
Jan

Much To Be Proud Of and Much To Behold

It is always nice to see fit and healthy bodies. More of us need to understand the connection of eating right and exercise with longevity. To put it in plain and simple terms; way too many of my Black sisters and brothers are not just overweight, they are obese. And then you wonder why, why you have to buy more food and why you have to buy ever-increasing sizes of clothing. Why you cannot bend over and tie your shoes, why it is such a struggle to get in and out of your car. I don’t need to go on, I think you get the picture; though, there is one more thing. How hard is it to have sex and shower and bathe. I am just asking. I know I watched too much Columbo, the movie; wait there is one more thing. Have you ever wondered why it is so hard to find a mate who will stay?

 

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