It Is How You Think
You Feel and Act How You Think
Otis Redding Memorial Madison Wisconsin
The Day That Soul Cried
The day that soul cried, a chilly mist hung over Madison, Wisconsin. Fans of Rhythm and Blues anticipated a thrilling visitor that Sunday night. Singer Otis Redding was scheduled for two shows at the Factory. Three days earlier, Otis had finished recording “Dock of the Bay,” a moody song that would later be his only No. 1 hit on the pop charts.
Otis was accompanied by the Bar-Kays, fresh-faced high school graduates from Memphis. Otis (The Big O) had performed the night before in Cleveland. He, the Bar-Kays, his valet and pilot were flying to Madison in his private twin-engine Beechcraft. They were scheduled to perform at 6:30 and 9 p.m. But they never made it. The plane fell three miles short of the runway and crashed at 3:28 p.m. in the near-freezing waters of Lake Monona. The sole survivor, trumpet-player Ben Cauley, was pulled from the water 17 minutes after stunned witnesses along the eastern shore of Squaw Bay telephoned for help.
On November 8, 1987 members of the Otis Redding Memorial Fund, a Madison, Wisconsin nonprofit corporation, culminated their fund-raising drive with the dedication of a memorial to Otis Redding on the shore of Lake Monona. The memorial consists of three semicircle marble benches, custom carved in Portugal with the initials, O.R. incorporated in the legs, Georgia gray granite marker and a bronze plague. The memorial was temporarily moved to storage to make way for the construction of the Frank Lloyd Wright designed Monona Terrace Convention Center. A re-dedication ceremony was held August 15, 1997 on the Roof Garden of the Convention Center, where the memorial is now located.
James R. Yarbrough
President and Founding Member
Otis Redding Memorial Group
Β Peace
The Gospel Truth
Watch the video and see what I think.
Why Let How You Look Cause You Pain
Your Achilles Heel
(Everyone has one.)
There is no one who doesnβt have that one thing that causes insecurity about his or her appearance. It has as much to do with what you think others think about you as what you think of yourself. It could be your nose, your hair, breast or just about anything that has been deemed not to be how it should be. When you think this way, you will never be at ease and comfortable with yourself, the real you. You cannot be happy, no matter the circumstance or your status in life, until you resolve the issue you have with what you think you see when you look at you. Reflections do not always tell the truth.
The images you see in the magazines, on TV shows and throughout the media are not the prototype of the human. It is mostly an illusion, a fantasy created to sale an image of perfection. The perfect dazzling white teeth, long flowing hair and a curvaceous body with all of the accompanying accouterments. And as one would expect, those who this bothers the most will try to change things about themselves, even things that cannot or should not be changed. They spend loads of time and money on how they look, how they dress and right down to how they walk and talk.
Time and money surely are important, but not as important as your health. And some of the things are putting the people who do them at risk. It is no wonder when you look at how some are criticized and joked about for this one physical feature that is looked upon as a flaw and not the will of nature and how you were born to be. All the while they are using this ridicule as a defense mechanism to fight off their own insecurities.
The jokes and harsh words can be personal and quite nasty. Those who are adept at it can be creative with their techniques, while others show no mercy. The focus is always on those aspects of your person that are easy to attack. It is just superficial; yes, but it hurts nonetheless. Making these critical remarks with hurtful intent has become acceptableβit is βeverywhere.β In casual conversations, in movies that we see, in magazines and even in some of the books that we read: There it is. It is no wonder that anxiety, low self-esteem and insecurity are at an all-time high.
You cannot hide, for long, what is inside about how you think about your outside. So, you think you are different, that there is no one who has your perceived shortcoming, your βdefect.β In reality there is no one who doesnβt have a defect of birth of some type, some cover it up and others have procedures to change what many times are just normal abnormalities. Nothing that millions of others all over the world donβt have as well. Try telling that to yourself. For if you see you when you listen to these words, it is time to hear it and learn from it. It is not easy, at first, to accept that which you have lived with as you would an unwelcome guest, but this you can and must do. There are some things you cannot change; you have to change how you think about them.
We have men, women, girls, boys and even young childrenβmore so today than everβwho have become entrapped by the marketing of major businesses and a brain-washed society. The very people who should know better are caught up with the rest in the swirl of the marketing monster. We are now looking for the ideal when it is not to be found for it is always moving and changing. And there is no better way to separate you from your money than creating βfalseβ insecurity and a sense of need. Know what is being sold before you buy. Money will not buy self-esteem. You have to earn it by changing how you see yourself.
If all of the people of the world were in one place, you would see much and much of what you would see would be no different than what you have seen; just βeveryday people.β Everyone is beautiful at some place to someone whereas using the so called standard of beauty very few would be. Let me put it this way: There is no perfect person, physically, mentally or otherwise and few who meet the marketing criteria for beauty. On one of your typical days out and about, how many βbeautifulβ people do you see, few if any who have the looks of the gorgeous magazine models and the assortment of celebrities. It is all a make believe world full of illusion, makeup trickery and manipulation. It is not reality; it is not what you think you see.
We all have physical differences from height, weight, ears, eyes and all of the other variations that come with being a living organism, a creation of nature. Even the appearance of the genitals causes much anxiety and personal and social discomfort. And the public buys into it. There are billions spent annually on Labiaplasty, vaginal rejuvenation, penis enlargement and other body modifications by men, women and even teens.
First thing in the morning before your feet even touch the floor you are thinking about one thing that is never far from your mind. You have tried to not think about it and that is why you do. If you cannot change it, you have to change how you think about it. You wish to hide it from the mirror but whatβs the use, it will still be there when you look. You do not have to be perfect to be perfect in the things that you do.
Nothing is hard to do, you just do not know how to do it yet.
Truth or Consequence The True Choice
Lie or Mistake
We should know what we do to others and ourselves when we do not tell the truth. It is not a mistake to tell a lie; it is wrong. Why can a lie not be a mistake? A lie is an intended act that will cause harm to you and those who consider it true. There is something wrong with how we live our life when we think we have to lie. From the time you become the recipient of a lie, you are captive of its cruel intentions until the truth sets you free.
A mistake can, and usually does, cause harm, though it is not done on purpose. You cannot knowingly make a mistake. But, if you know that you are not going to do something right, whatever you do is done with intent, is down low, and lives where the lie resides. In many ways, it is worse than telling a lie. For it is not only a lie, but it is also βmasqueradingβ as a good faith effort caused by a mistake.
A lie gives many reasonsβwhen it has toβfor its existence, and a lie has to be told to be a lie. Try not to be the one who tells it nor the one it is told to. And no matter how well it is dressed and packaged, it is what it started out to be. A lieβs energy and growth increase each time it is believed. The owner feels pride and a sense of accomplishment when their lie withstands any and all challenges.
Truth Needs Not to Be Whispered
Some who lie after a while, if not found out, start to believe their own lie. They will swear that what they say is not a lie and defend it vigorously when faced with the truth. And yes, even call the truth a lie. You should try never to remain in the presence of anyone you know is not telling you the truth. They have no respect for you, for if they did, they would not lie to you. Lies are told to deceive or to cover for a previous action of irrationality or misbehavior. Ask yourself if you would do the same.
I Swear It’s The Truth
What about being boastful or exaggerating? It would not be considered a lie unless it crossed the line. If you are the one either boasting, exaggerating, or both, you know when that line has been crossed. Maybe you should start with your deliveryβinflectionβand you will not feel the need to go where you should not. And you would certainly benefit from a dose of self-confidence.
The core of the truth is elastic in the sense that it can be stretched, though only so far. If taken beyond, it will be a lie. Remember, someone always knows the truth. That is, even if itβs just you, who knows, and know this, with secrets, there are no absolutes. Why not tell it. It should be told for all it is worth, and one thing is for sure, a price cannot be put on it. Not all has to be told, but what is told should be the truth. It relieves the load and puts the mind at ease. A lie has no comfort zone. It is always running, ducking, dodging, and trying to hide. And no, a lie cannot be put to rest even after the truth has been told.
And there are few times, if any, that a lie can be justified. Even in those rare occasions where it can, it is because of an action that should not have been taken. You talk and act your way into a circumstance where you have to lie to get out of. It is what you do and say that cause you to βhaveβ to lie. Disordered thinking and bad decision-making will place you in lie territory. Distance yourself from this lapse in judgment and lie no more.
When you live among lies, and you know it, how can you trust anyone.
Always try to tell the truth; life is better for you when you do. Yes, I know, there have been times when you told the truth, and no one believed you. It took a while for you to understand, I am sure. This is when you should remember that you cannot tell the truth to one who lives a lie or is in a delusional state of mind when they think their role as the ” superior” humankind is threatened. They will not know the truth when they see it because their mind will not let them believe it, coming from an βinferiorβ like you. So, if I lie to you about you, I cannot accept your truth, but I would accept a lie. When all else fails and the lie is no longer accepted by βthe just,β power is used to force it back into place. It is a sign of weakness. And that on which the foundation was built will crumble.
When you live a lie, you are lost in your own reality and separated from what is real. The trouble with a lie is that it hides the truth. Though, there will always come a time when the truth will be known, for a lie cannot live forever. Unfortunately, civilizations have allowed themselves to be destroyed by believing their own lie. And we are well on our way.
What is it when you tell a lie but think it is the truth?Β It means that not telling the truth is a pathological problem for you and is a defense mechanism that you have used to protect yourself from your world. No one up close is being deceived by your words, for they see how you act.
No Greater Pain
The Truth Will Set You Free
You have to face what you are running fromβthe hurt and painβand realize that lies keep you from being the person you know you areβthe real you. You cannot pass through, go over, or under a lie. You must tell yourself the truth, and only then will you be set free. You must know the company that you keep starting with yourself. A lie is dangerous and conning. No matter how, where, or who tells it.Β It is not safe nor wise to be where someone is telling it or where your only βway outβ is to tell one yourself. You cannot live another personβs lie; you must live your truth.
What is it when you say yes, but you feel no, or stop when you feel go? Is it a lie to say you care: all the time knowing that you do not? Does it hurt more or less to see the truth? The one who tells the lie, does so is to mislead. It can, and often does, create a world of make-believe; it is delusional and, of course, not true. A world such as this is where no one is living the truth, the teller or the told. One of them should know the truth. And when neither one does, the lies have risen to the level of a mental disorder (pathological liar), and the one who now believes what they are being told is not without guilt, for they hide from the truth as well. Though once a lie is told, how can you know what to believe? From the clothes we wear to the products that we buy, much of it is a lie. And a lie will always do damage.
They call it marketing. I call it a lie.
Who are we when we shed our garments and our βface?β It is we. I will not be true in what I do if you are not true in what you do to me. If I think I love you, and you have not told the truth, then my love is a lie. And that is if I know it or not. Yes, you may believe that you are in love, but one thing is certain; you cannot love someone who doesnβt love you. What you are not doing is facing the lie that is masquerading as the truth. A lie will not support the truth. It is a lieβas wellβwhen you will not allow yourself to see what is most times obvious to others. The greatest lie is when you lie to yourself and act as if it is the truth. It is not a mistake. It is a lie.
A Lie is Not a Mistake
You Be The Judge
The conscious part of the mind does not make a mistake. Its roots are in the base of our thoughts. You do not make it on purpose. There is no motive. When and where we make our mistakes is about how we feel. When we feel good about ourselves, mistakes are few. When we take care with what we say and do, there will be no need to say I Am Sorry. I made a mistake. Of course, you do not feel all mistakes the same way. Some are seen while others are not, but the effect is the same. The result was different from what it was meant to be. And none is without harm. It could be a threat to life or just plain embarrassment; either way, no one wants to make or be the cause of something going wrong for what they did not do right.
Both lies and mistakes are acts of thought and are harmful to those who are touched by them. A mistake is no less harmful than a lie. Just as with a lie, it can be the cause of damage. It must be made right, or it will do just that. On the receiving end or the one who made the mistake, you will be harmed in some way. Once touched by either, it is not easy to predict what comes next. Lies and mistakes cause many of the bad things that happen in our lives. Even so, what is right can and does follow. But keep this upmost in your mind, you cannot undo a lie. The damage shall remain maybe only by degrees–there nevertheless.
You do not try to make a mistake. If you did, it would not be a mistake. It would be a thing you did with some thought. When what you do is thought out, it is not a mistake when it goes wrong. It is how you think that is the problem. A thought causes a mistake that you are not aware that you have. It is not a conscious thought. This sets off an action. What you have then is the mistake. It is not one, though, until it is known by someone. At least one person must know that it exists. If not, the mistake can be made again. You do not make a mistake that you know of more than once. If you do, it is not a mistakeβit is intentionalβIt is done on purpose whether you know it, say so, or not.
You have thoughts on their way but have yet to arrive at your level of consciousness. You are not aware of them yet, and they distract you from what you want to think about and what you are trying to do. Β You know this. They cause your mind to wander, and you do not focus as you should. If you cannot concentrate on the task at hand, it does not hold a priority over other thoughts in your mind. If it is not important to you, it is not a thing you should try. The mind will not engage as it should. This will not let you do it right. You have to focus, but nothing will help if you are not ready and willing. Put another way: if it is not what you want to think about. People, places, and things and how we interact and relate to them is all we have. If any of these is significant to you at any given time, think about that.
What you do now is what you should focus on, that is, if you want to do it right. You can think about many things, but you can focus on only one at a time. When you try to do more, you are setting yourself up to make a mistake. It is misleading to think it is a special skill to do more than one thing at a time. No special skill to multitask. It does not require any special know-how to perform more than one task at a time. It just shares the effort, which takes away from the whole of each. Just as you can see more than one thing at a time, you can only focus on one. That is unless they are more of the same. If not, the diffirence will be the draw.
You can do more than one thing at a time but will not think more than one thought at a time. Try it. Sit two or more things together that are different from each other and try to focus. Your mind will shift from one to the other. Do not shift from this message.
Time for Change Do You Know The Time
Time is Sense-Less
Time does not feel a thing, and it will not answer no matter what you ask of it. It does not hear you and will not speak to you. Time is space, and space is time. All we can do is live and die in both. Because time and space are the same, all that exists do so in this reality wherever it may be. Time and space do not ever change. What “man” has done does. Pardon me, do you have the time; you are late; you have no more time to work; time is up. The time setting is all on us: we are doing this, not time. Time does not care if you are early, late, or never show up. Time is “SENSE-LESS,”it does not feel a thing.
You cannot lend, nor can you borrow time. And your time is the only time you will have. More time will not be given when we have no more. Time, though, is less important than what you do with it. When you think of the time that you have, the first thing you should think of is what you are going to do with it. What is just as important is how you feel while doing it. To get the most from the time you have been given, you must understand what it is and how to use it wisely. The longer it takes to know what to do, the less time you have to do it. Because for sure, you will not get it back.
Time is like the wind you cannot seeβwe only see what it does. Do we really know what time it is?
If we had the power over the nature of time, what would we do with it? Where would we put it? Would we add a little here, take a little there? For sure, it would be the final step to the end. Wars would be fought over it, it would be stolen, and some would lie, cheat and steal to get more of it. Those with no power would get none.
Your Time Will Not Wait for You
When we do not use our gifts and talentsβwe all have themβthey do not stay at the ready and at their best. Living will not let it be. You must put your assets to their best use. Life moves on when this does not happen, but you will not keep up. To work against what is good for you pokes a finger in the eye of The Creator. We live and grow by the fundamentals of life. To know this is the core of our existence. Time: The gift from God.
Success is when you know that you have given all that you have to give for now.
The right thing done the wrong way will fail. Just as a wrong thing cannot be done right. You can be right, though look as if you are wrong by those who are not right. It does not mean that you are wrong and they are right; they are still wrong. You should let no one turn you away from what you know. You do not have to prove you are right when you are right, just be right. To make a change to what is right will not make a thing that is right better. There are no improvements to make. If it is right, it is not wrong and should be left alone.
You are the one to decide what is right or wrong for you. As we all must do, you must live with what you choose, and so do I. When you have done the right things, it does not mean all the right things are done. When you do it right, you will feel right. You will then know how much better it is than what it was if it was wrong. You cannot be caught doing the right thing. How can you do something wrong when you know how to do it right? You cannot. Take the time to do it right. You do not have the time to do it wrong.
TIME TO THINK BUT BETTER
Your thoughts and how you feel and act will change as you change. There is no better time for change than when it is needed. And the change will happen when you change how you think, which will change how you feel. When you feel better, you will change how you act, and your life will change, as well. Our role in life is shaped by how we act. It is how you will be known to those who think they know you and anyone who enters your world (your environment). It is what others will use to judge you. And to act right, you must think right. Every time.
Some may say it is not all about you. Well, I say it is. When it is about you, it is about us, all of us in some way. We all have the Self as the core of who we are. You get to know your βSelfβ by being yourself. How great it is to meet your Self for the first time. You should not let you pass you by. Be happy to know who you are. You have this coming to you. When you are unhappy, it shows because you think and feel it.
To change your mind is to change your life. If there is no way to know, there is no need to know. Where there is a need, there is a way. If there is no way, there is no need. The more you get, the less you need. It is nature; it is life. If there is a thing you need to do, you can do it. You only need to tell your Self that you can.
When you do not succeed as you think you should, there is more work for you to do. First, you must change how you think. Perfection in the things we do is a worthwhile goal to have. It is not a bad word. It is a Self, defined state of mindβit is personal. If not to be perfect, what then could be your goal? To go for less would be less than your best. You can be perfect every time. It is in the mind; it is what it is to you.
God created us to decide the scope and reach of our lives. So observe all in your world and do your best to understand what you see. And do with it all that you can. There is much to be gained, no matter where you stand.
You must listen to learn and learn to listen to what your world has to tell you. Do not run from the sound you hear; take the time to listen. To hear is not to listen. It is not the same. It takes no effort to hear, if you want to or not. To hear is one of the senses. It is there by nature and has no on-and-off switch. To listen is not a sense. It is a skill. You must listen if you want to get the most out of what you hear. Are you listening now?
We can never run out of time. Time runs out of us.
You can only get there from here. You will not get there from any other place, for you can be no place other than where you are. You can only get there from here, and you got here from there. You were there in the past. Now you can be there in the future. You can go back there, but only in your mind, and it is not wise to do that for long, or at all, or you can go to there: The future, which will be the present when you get there, it is your choice, which there do you choose. You can only get there from here. You cannot stay here.
You have to believe it to see it. When you see it, you will know.
Persistence & Determination
Not Too Early or Too Late
Persistence is the key to reaching the most worthwhile goals we set for ourselves and what is so great about that is that there is no age limit. You are never too young or too old. Babies and toddlers, teenagers, and young adults to the elderly set goals for themselves, and those goals are reached. Therefore, you cannot be easily discouraged.Β Β Β Β Β
What is so great is that it does not matter how successful or not you are; this still applies to you. So, donβt be too quick to dismiss what you hear here. Instead, it would help if you listened to what you read. It is never too late to learn or reinforce what you know.
Those things in life that you want and do not get were likely the next step away, that step that you did not take. Some are reluctant to set lofty goals for fear of failing to reach them. Wth this thinking, they never will. But one thing you must be is realistic. You must know your SELF. And your SELF is you.
No matter the time spent on the task, you are not likely to succeed unless you are keenly aware of your strengths and weaknesses, which is the reason why many fall short. They were aiming for a place beyond their capacity. The solution, as in most thi gs we do, is to prepare for the tasks ahead. You must have the right βtoolsβ to do the job. To prepare yourself for the task, it might mean taking courses at your local campus or online, doing research, or buying and learning to use βactualβ tools. Even so, each of our brains has different learning capacities. It should be your mission to reach for that limit. And when you or any of us can say I have arrived, that will be the day.
Persistent Steps
Persistence and Determination
The best way to reach our goals is through a step-by-step process. There are only three different steps you can take to get there. They are the first, next and last. The next step should be as many as you need to take to make your last step. Going backward will only get you there if you then go forward. And going sideways will only keep you on the level you are on now. So, you take the three steps to get to where you are going, a step at a time, until your goal is accomplished. This way, you know how to do it, and it will serve you well to reach your next goal. Or to do a repeat.
Persistence Requires Patience
“When you do not do all the things you should do, what you do will not be enough to do what you want to do.”
You have arrived, and you have reached your goal, but you did not take all of the steps. How could this be possible? There are many ways; let me list a few: (favor, corruption, cheating, family ties, legacy, and so on). Every step not taken leaves a void, and you will not be sure how you got to where you are. And then you try againβno matter your goal or intentionsβ it is a place where you will falter and could easily stumble and fail. It goes this way when you only know some of what it takes to get the job done.
You can only get there from here. From here your first step is taken be it physical or otherwise . It does not matter your thoughts or how you think them; it can be done no other way. So, βthink from where you stand.β
The distance to our goals is less important than the steps we take to get there. How we think our thoughts decide the path we take in our life. You can think in all directionsβincluding in circles and you will remain where you are until you think of the steps that take you to your goal, your objective.
With persistence, each step you take, you are close to the next step, and each step will show you the way, which will take you home to your goal. Each step is a work activity you must do to reach your objective. It is just another piece of the whole. Β And if you want what you do not have, you first must have what you need to get what you want. It Is How You Think.
If you are older, please pass this on to any young people you know. I worked with the young at one time, and I can say for sure, without reservation, that many of the youth from low-income families were then and are now misguided and unrealistic about how the world works, especially the work world. I worked with both Black and White, and there is a stark difference in the attitudes and not in a positive way. Though these were students, it is this way with many of the adults I had as clients.
I was a recruiter and placement specialist for several years and Director of an Equal Opportunities program and experienced it firsthand. Β They give up easily, they are not persistent and their expectations are not in line with their attitude and aptitude. I realize this is my experience alone, but I have seen it in more places than one.
Persistence: The key that unlocks the door.
Pain In Your Mind Is Caused By How You Think
Pain the Emotional Kind
What I have to say here may or may not be for you. The way to know for sure is to read it and understand it. It may not be relevant to you in a personal way and how you think and feel, but you may know someone, a friend, a relative, or perhaps a mate who comes to mind when you think about what you see when you see any one of them. So do not be quick to turn away. And no, you cannot feel anotherβs pain.
β Do not cover up your pain with your words and what you say and do. It will only cause you more pain. You do it to feel better, but you know it does not workβthat is not for long. It is a fix, not the solution. The longer you go without resolving what brings on these feelings of despair, the more masking you will try to do. A cover-up of what bothers you returns as the βmakeupβ comes off. β
No matter how fast you run, you cannot run from the agonizing emotions you stir up all too often in a cauldron of hurt feelings and memories that never were. This brew is sure to bring on the pain. And to be strong and pretend it is not there will not make life easier. For you know, even if no one else does, the pain is still there; it has not gone away. You cannot drink the daily brew and expect to feel better. Emotional hurt and pain is a symptom that not all is well with how you think.
No new boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife will change this. If you want to change how you feel, you must change how you think. You cannot live in the past, so why should you let the past live in you. It is pain that you feel. Do not let your pain be the reason why you act in ways that you rather not. What you do in life caused by your pain will never be the real you, the person you are meant to be. It is how you think.
Your husband or wife, or not having either, does not cause your pain. Neither your employer nor your friends are the cause of the pain that you feel. When all has been said, the pain that you feel is caused by not understanding your childhood and the aftermath that must be left where it belongs, in the past. It does not matter from where it came; you allow it to do what it does to your happiness and well-being. It is not the job, the neighbor, or anyone else or thing. The source of your pain is how you think. It is not you that they see when they look your way. You have hidden the real you under layers of hurt and pain.
You have struggled long to come out. No one knows the real you, for you have not shown your SELF to anyone. You have been afraid to look at you. When will you let the real you show up? There are times when no one is around that you just lose it. It hurt so bad not to be yourself. It aches in your heart. There are times when you need to feel that one person, just one, loves you for who you are. You have been wounded by your hurt. Remember this: I come before you, they, them, we, and us. When I do not come first, life will be disordered until I do.
If you have memories of hurt and pain from your past, it will change when you change how you think. You have to understand this for what it isβhow it influences your thoughts. Emotional hurt and pain without a remedy can last a lifetime, but how you think about pain can and should change. If you cannot change what you have to think about, change how you think.
Memories of hurt and pain from the past will change when you change how you think. You have to understand this for what it is and how it influences your thoughts. It cannot be said enough. When how we think and act is the result of the pain we feel, we must trace our pain to where it leads. That would be our childhood: A foundation of family dysfunction and trauma. This kind of beginning guarantees a hard way to go and a struggle, if only in your mind.
βYour childhood is real, and its effect on you is real. You must look back one last time, painful yet necessary. First, you must stop your defensive behavior, which takes work and practice. It is no different, though, from other efforts that require repetition. You must drop your guard and peel back the faΓ§ade while at the same time keeping your emotions under control. This kind of control is one of the few times self-control has a useful purpose. When your self-esteem and image of yourself are at the level they should be, there will be no need for self-control. You are then βYOUβ and can now live your life purposefully.
I wish you peace and happiness, which you so deserve.
LISTEN, THINK AND THEN TALK
Listen to The WorldβThere is Much to Know
You learn to listen and listen to learn to know what your world is telling you. You must listen to what you read, what is said to you and to your βSelf.β When we are born, we do not know how. You first hear, and if you want to know what it is that you hear, you must listen. When you do, you feel the sound of your thoughts.
To hear is not to listen. It is not the same. It takes no effort to hear. This is if you want to or not. To hear is one of the senses. It is there by nature and has no on-and-off switch. The senses let us live and are the means to be in touch with our world. They make life worth living. They are tools of nature. If you want to get the most out of what you hear, you must listen.
Listening Skill is Developed
A person must be ready and willing to learn to learn. You have to listen to learn and learn to listen. You have to listen to what you hear, what you read, what is said to you, and to your SELF. When we are born, we do not know how. To know how is not one of the senses it is a skill an acquired skill. When we listen, we feel the sound of our thoughts. So, if you want to think what you read, you must listen to what you read.
You Must Want to Listen to Listen
You must have a deep sense of purpose and a strong drive to learnβnot just hear what is said or give a cursory glance at the words you read. When we listen, what we hear has our attention. The mind is closed to all else. You are focused on what you hear to where the mind has taken over. In so many ways, it is much like meditationβcalming when we feel it. You must want to learn to listen. Until you do, you will only hear.
Our lives are shaped by how well we know how to listen. Just because you can hear does not mean you are going to do so. We hear with our ears, but we listen with our mind. That is when the words and their meaning have begun to sink in, you are focused. You are there. To see what we mean when we say the things that we do.
What we listen to canβat timesβcome with feelings of discomfort, but you would not have listened if it had not been what you wanted to know.
You Can Look But Not See and Hear But Not Listen
There is a time to listen. There is a time to think. There is a time to talk. Listen, think, and then speak. Knowing when it is the best time is what determines the outcome. These are the things you must know to have a conversation and dialog. This is the best format to have a bit of give and take where all will have a chance to express their thoughts. No one will feel left out. It works best when one talks and the other stands by. And the key is to know when it is their turn. When you listen, you do that, not a thing more. No such thing as divided listening. You will do so when your mind tells you to.
You cannot be sure of what you have heard if you have not listened. As a result, what you say may not be what you mean. You can talk and hear at the same time, but you will not be listening. If you try, it would be like trying to think two thoughts at the same time. You can do neither one. Our mind moves to what we are thinking. There is no dual track for how we think. And a thought will not divide. It is just as you cannot say two words at the same time.
You Only Go Off Track at The End of The Line
Though our life is always at all times on one track, it does not mean you should have a one-track mind. The mind needs to explore the possibilities, to wander, to create, and to consider what is and what can be. There is no limit to where the mind will go, and as wonderful as this may be, there are times when we have to call it back.
Say what needs to be heard. Someone will hear you. First, you should not say a word until you say it to yourself. Then, no matter what you say, you should always say what you know. There is a lesson in all the things we say and do.
The mind is meant to explore possibilities. In that realm is where you wonder, create, and consider what is thought to be and what can be. There is no limit to where the mind will go, the turns it will take, and the maneuvers it will make, so there are times when you have to call it back. Yes, the mind is the master of thought, no doubt. But we are the master of the mind.
The mind can be just like a misbehaving child.
Peace
Self Control Does More Harm Than Good
Self Awareness Is To Understand Who You Are
Self-control is Not
SELF control will not hide your true feelings for long, which is not the answer. It takes an effort that pits your mind against your βSelfβ to do so. Life is all about being who you are, the real you. The Self will not be controlled for long. Any effort to do so will last for only a brief time. It is at this point that your control will lose its grip, and your hold will give way. That is when you will act the way you truly feel. This is what you are trying to hide when you use self-control. It happens when a thing you have worked for is at stake, and it is closer than ever or in those situations where your confidence is weak and not enough to sustain you.
No matter the time, place, or circumstance, what is certain is that there will be a time when you will lose Self-control. You must strive to be self-aware, that you will not lose once you have it. To be self-aware is to know who you are. It is what is left when all else is peeled away. It is our core, the Self.
The mind can be just like a misbehaving child.
It was as if I would be hearing silent words. What else could it be? A voice in my head is telling me to do what I did not know I wanted to do. I would do whatever came to mind. This, it seemed, without any thought at all. The thing is, I needed to give myself more time to think. When I would do what I should not do, to say that I was sorry would be to say I was wrong. That was a thing I found hard to do. I would promise myself I would not do it again. I meant it until the next time. And there was always βa next time.β I tried to take charge of what I would say and do. I did this by trying to control myself. It did not work.
My mind would not let me see myself in a good light. I was unaware of my SELF: Whom am I supposed to be? Who is this looking back at me when I look in the mirror? Is it a nephew or a son, or a smart child or just a mannish boy? I think, maybe, I was a βsurprise:β A mistake no one knew what to do with. I could not control my thoughts. They were taunting me day and night. I was the aim of my discomfort, and I could neither share nor pass it on. We will not control that which we do not understand. If we understand, we do not need control.
We can control some things, but not our “Self.” That is, not for very long. We must learn to live with, not control, the Self. Self-control should not be the goal. There are limits on how long we can keep ourselves in check. When you feel you must control what you might say or do, you must always be vigilant and aware of what could be coming your way: from all angles. Control of self will let you down when you need it most. When we know ourselves well, we do not need Self, control. The Self does not need to be controlled. Nor can it be. Self, control will give way, and one time is too many.
I AM
Time and The Human MindβThen There is Space
Time we cannot see; we are only aware of changes that occur in the space of time. Do we truly know what time it is.
What is it that makes time so important? Why do we speak about it like no other? There are times what we say about time should come with an explanation. It is time, your time, my time, what time is it, now is the time. And let us not forget, I do not have time for this. What do you have time for when the only thing of value that is our own is our time. Let no MAN take away from your time and your existenceβyour life. And yes, I say, man, for it will be men if we let them. Or even worse, women trying to emulate men.
Each one of us is the caretaker of our time. There is no material wealth that should take on more importance than our time. Nor should any person, whether near or far. There is one person with that power, and that person is you. No mortal Man has that power unless you relinquish it to him. And just how much sense would that makeβnone.
Time is space and Space is time. And all things that exist occupy Space. There was space for us from conception. That space was in our Motherβs womb. We arrived in time, and we have lived and are living our time, for now. No human being has the authority to take that away. Please, do not let them think they do. We are now thinking what we had up until now thought was unthinkable by many. I am not one of them. We are not living in a movie. This is real timeβyours and mine.
THERE IS NO RIGHT TIME TO THINK WRONG
When how you think is disordered, how you act will reflect this way of thinking. A person or any other entity will not soon realize it, for it is how they think. And one of the hardest changes to make is to change how you think. First, you must convince yourself that the change is precisely what you should do. When things are not right, we first look at all the other places for an answer. But those who are willing to listen will realize that their answer is the one not working. A closed mind is a symptom of a road to nowhere. The road is littered with fossils of the past.
For sure, though, none of us would harm ourselves with full knowledge of what we are doing. It goes against the first law of nature. That is growth and survival. There is no surviving what your elected leaders have in store for you. Are you going to act in time, or is this the end? What a price to pay. Up in smoke or, more appropriately, nuclear fallout. Civilizations have come and gone. We are not the first and will not be last. Only the last of our kind.
DISORDERED THINKING
The actions and behaviors of βnews makers,β both in public and private, that result in adverse outcomes originate and have their roots in early childhood. You do not make decisions that will cause harm to your Self and others and the very source of your existence if not for dysfunction in the family setting and possible mental defects passed from one generation to the next. It is not in the water; it is in the DNA.
βFirst God made heaven & earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the face of the waters. And God said, βLet there be light,β and there was light. And God saw that the light was good, and God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening, and there was morning, one day.β
All things that come into time and space with life will departβwhen there is no more of this life to live. It will be a new day, a new place, and another time. There is space for all to fit. To yonder, we will go.
Time, as we know it, is a concept of βman.β And many cut theirs short by how they live their life: the things they say and do. And they do this not realizing how little time they have. They do this, of course, because of how they think and how they think when they think this way is disordered. When you act in ways that hurt you, you are hurting inside, and there is where it hurts the most. And each time that hurt is acted out, it takes from the time you have to be yourself.
TIME IS WHAT SPACE IS
When you think of your time, you should first think about what you will do with it. What is just as important is how you feel while you are doing it. To get the most from you have, you must understand what it is and how to use it wisely. The longer it takes to know what to do with it, the less time you have to do it. Because for sure, you will not get it back.
WHAT CLOCK WILL TELL THEM WHEN IT IS TIME TO TURN OUT THE LIGHTS
The clock on the wall has less to do with the outcome than the actions we take and what we do. Time will be the same no matter the clock on the wall. It is whole, as it is with space. We will not divide it. There is but one time, and it is the same all the time. The concept of our view of time was imposed on us by us. All things live by the rhythm of nature. However, we are the ones who live by the clock. We doβthoughβneed the means to measure what we do and when we do it to keep our lives in order. To know why we are where we are at all times.
On the whole, a clock or any instrument to measure time is a way to know when or not. A means to measure the times of our lives is one of the things a society must have to maintain order. Otherwise, it would be utter chaos. So, you cannot build a society without it.
If we had the power over the nature of time, what would we do with it, where would we put it? Would we add a little here, take a little there? For sure, it would be the βfinal stepβ to the end. Wars would be fought over it. It would be stolen, and some would lie, cheat and steal to get more of it. Those with no power would get none.
WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH IT
- CAN YOU EAT it
- CAN YOU RIDE it
- CAN YOU MAKE LOVE TO it
- YOU CANNOT LEND NOR CAN YOU BORROW it
- SAVE, LOOSE OR DO ANYTHING ELSE WITH IT
- YOU MUST RESPECT IT
You should not make your decisions based on time. It will not accomplish a thing on its own. Decide what you want to do, then make good of your time to do it; this should be the order of how you decide. No matter how much you have, if you do not know what you are going to do with it, you will not know how much you need. What matters is how you are going to fill the space. If you bake a cake for the required time but use the wrong ingredients, you will not get the cake you want. Then, you would have a cake you cannot eat, and time you no longer have. This was your time.
Let us take a look at Godβs time, which does not change. You add or remove items from a room. It makes no difference when you move these things, the space does not. No matter what you do or when you do it, the space remains the same other than its content.
WHERE ARE WE WHERE ARE WE HEADED
We may ask much of time, but it does not give. The question asked most is for more. Time will not answer. It is closed to and does not hear what we have to say. It stands still to infinity. We cannot stop it, slow it down or speed it up. Nor can we waste it. The thing that we can do with time is live what we have doing the very best for you. When there is no more time, there is no more to live. We do not start it over. It goes on; our time on this planet does not. So, live it. You cannot get it back once it is gone. Let no one lead you astray.
WHEN WE GO WE DO NOT TAKE TIME WITH US
Time for all things was here before us and shall be when we are gone. It is the only thing out of all things that we can depend on. Remove all things that existβwhat is left is the space. There is no void in space, for the βAlmightyβ created it for life: We are here, and so is the rest of all that exists. It has been complete from the start when God created it. In the beginning, there was space for all things. All we are aware of, which does not amount to much, and the much that we are unaware of and do not have the vision to see. We must have the vision to see beyond what our mind has not been able to imagine before. It is perfectly natural to follow the leader as long as they lead in the right direction. Death and destruction are not right. I will not die for you and your interests. The leaders are not God.
We are the master of the life we have. Each of us has one to live. All lives are single. There is no plural life. We have one life to live, and no two are the same. Not one breathes the same breath. When we can, we decide what to do with our lives. It tells the type of life we will have and the path we will follow. As straight as this may be, many do not understand this simple truth. They still tryβbut can never succeedβto live their lives for and through others. Some even assign their thinking responsibilities to others, the leaders, those you have chosen to follow. That is not good; just the thought is bad. The only thing you do when you do this is live your life being a “parrot,” repeating the words that someoneβsomeone you think is wiser than youβput in your mouth and doing the old monkey see monkey do. Self-interest will always be there for them. The only question, which is not much of a question, is how much interest will be left for you.
Your time is the only time you have. Do not say I cannot do it for me. I will let someone else do it. No one can do for you what only you can do for yourself. Do not let them think they can.
We never know how much time we have to use what we have. So, you should always use your time wisely. When you do not know what to do next, do what you know now. Never rush or force your next step. We can never breathe the next breath. It is not for us to know it all. It is for us to understand what we need to know. The time of man is not precise. You can never know, with confidence, what will happen next. All we can do is plan. The future is not ours to know. It can be over just when we think we do.
MaleFemale
God created it not to be changed; it cannot be changed. The existence of life is one of them. If this is not so, who would turn off the lights after we know how to do it our way, and there is no more to see. It is not within our reach. We will not change the nature and makeup of life. It is not for us to do. Humans did not assign the roles for our species, and we cannot reassign them. But we can destroy what we have that until now was more than enough. You are not God.
NO1WITHOUT2
time to learn how to think
We will be learning about how we think and the workings of the brain as long as there is the power of thought. There can be no end. Just as it is with life, there will always be much left to learn. It would be a lofty goal to want to know why there is life. To think we can know this reveals a great deal about how we think. And it is a road with no end, as well. We are yet to discover why one would take a life. To indicate how far we are from these incredible feats, researchers who study the brain are still trying to figure out why we sleep. Sleep: a thing that seems so basic, and they do not know. We have dreams, and no one knows why.
Time is what we need, and we know we have that. What we do not and will not know is how much. Even if you try being God and ending it yourself.
Persistence and DeterminationβDriving Force for Success
Never Too Early or Too Late
It will happen when it is time.
You should not decide what you will do or not do based on time. Time will not accomplish a thing on its own. Decide what you want to do, then make good of your time to do it; this should be the order of how you decide. No matter how much time you have, if you do not know how you will use it, you will not know how much you need: If you have enough time or not. What matters most is how you are going to fill the space.
If you bake a cake for the required time but use the wrong ingredients, you will not get the cake you want. Then, you would have a cake you cannot eat and time you no longer have. This time was your time.
(Time is spaceβSpace is time.)
PERSISTENCE
Persistence is the key to reaching the most worthwhile goals we set for ourselves and what is so wonderful about that is there is no age limit. You are never too young or too old. Babies and toddlers, teenagers, and young adults to the elderly set goals for themselves and those goals they reach. So, you cannot be easily discouraged.
What is so great is that it does not matter how successful or not you are; this still applies to you. So, do not be too quick to dismiss what you hear here. Instead, you should listen to what you read. It is never too late to learn or reinforce what you know.
Those things in life that you want and do not get were likely the next step away, that step that you did not take. Some are reluctant to set lofty goals for fear of not reaching them. With this thinking, they never will. But one thing you must be is realistic.
No matter the time spent on the task, you are not likely to succeed unless you are keenly aware of your strengths and weaknesses. It is the reason why many fall shortβit is a mind thing. They were aiming for a place they had not prepared themselves to reach. As in most things we do, the solution is to prepare for the tasks ahead. You must have the right βtoolsβ to do the job. It might mean taking courses at your local campus or online, doing research, or buying and learning to use βactualβ tools. And persistence and determination are the tools you cannot buyβthey must be in you.
With each step you take, you are closer to the next step, and each step will show you the way, which will take you home to your goal. Each step is a βworkerβ activity you must do to reach your objective. It is just another piece of the whole. And if you want what you do not have, you first must have what you need to get what you want. It Is How You Think.
THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING
Special Note: If you are of the older generation, please pass this on to any young people you know. I worked with the young at one time, and I can say for sure, without reservation, that the Black youthβsome/mostβwere then and is now misguided and unrealistic about how the world works, especially the work world. I worked with both Black and White, and there is a stark difference. Sadly, I see this with many of the adults as well. I know, of which I speak, for I was also a recruiter and placement specialist for several years and Director of an Equal Opportunities program. And yes, this is a message.
DETERMINATION
As with anyone else, you cannot allow yourself to be easily dissuaded by any person or thingβespecially yourselfβwhen you are ready to let the βworldβ know that you are on a mission. And if you want to make it to the finish line, you must first be determined to do so and be persistent in your efforts until you do. Persistence and determination go hand in hand. Each is a necessary strength (a must-have) to perform the tasks needed to accomplish a previously unreached goal or objective. A goal that requires all you think you have to giveβthen more until you know you have. Mission accomplished.
IT IS HOW YOU THINK
We will be learning about how we think and the workings of the brain as long as there is the power of thought. There can be no end. Just as it is with life, there will always be much left to learn. It would be a lofty goal to want to know why there is life. To think we can understand this reveals a great deal about how we think. And it is a road with no end, as well. We are yet to discover why one would take a life. To indicate how far we are from these incredible feats, researchers who study the brain are still trying to figure out why we sleep. Sleep: a thing that seems so essential, and they do not know. We have dreams, and no one knows why. Time is what we need, and we know we have that. What we do not and will not know is how much.
We never know how much time we have to use the time we have. So, you should always use your time wisely. When you do not know what to do next, do what you know now. Your next step should never be rushed or forced. We can never breathe the next breath. It is not for us to know it all. It is for us to understand what we need to know. The time of man is not precise. You can never know, with confidence, what will happen next. All we can do is plan with what we think we know. The future is not ours to know. It can be over just when we think we do.
You Have a Thought You Think You Feel You Act
Here is where you should be if you know someone who has ever lived with the hurt and pain that only a dysfunctional childhood and emotional trauma can breed. The seed is planted and grows from a family lifeβ no matter its makeupβthat does not provide the nurturing, caring, and protection to produce a healthy mind. Childhood must be a safe and loving place for a child to grow strong of mind and character.
This is your lifeβyou have finally arrived where you will find the peace of mind and sense of well-being you seek. Where your thoughts now will be worthy of thinking and no longer be the source of anguish, hurt, and pain. We will address the many issues concerning why we all think the way we do. We will see how changing how you think will change how you feel and relate to the people, places, and things in your life. And you will see how becoming the true person you are meant to be will give you the vision to see what is, is not what you may have thought it to be.
You will better understand your thoughts and your thinking process, just as those who βtraveled this roadβ before you. I am talking about the creation of you to be you. Because, for sure, you have to be you. When you try to be someone you are not, you are no one until you find your way back home. Life is made better or worse by how we think.
What we do here will not only better the lives of those who follow βIt Is How You Think,β it will also touch those who are touched by those who do. Here you will find the tools to help you change how you think, therefore, how you feel and act. If you, a family member, or a friend has been touched in any way by childhood traumaβor notβor if you know of someone who has otherwise been mishandled by others in their life, this is the place to be.
It Is How You Think
WHAT IS LEFT WHEN ALL ELSE IS GONE
Using current events, I will show how the actions and behaviors of βnews makers,β both in public and private, that result in adverse outcomes originate and have their roots in early childhood. The foundation is laid there by dysfunctional adults with a supremacist mindset: cementing in the minds of the young what to think. They are the leaders those in charge with our lives in their hands. Their thinking is disordered and how they think will bring about the end for us all.
You do not make decisions that will cause harm to your βSelfβ and others and the very source of your existence if not for dysfunction in the family setting and possible mental defects passed from one generation to the next. It is so ingrained that one would think that it must be in the DNA.
MAD
When you first read, see, or hear my words, some of what I say could cause you to question how it applies to how you think. And my answer will be all things you do require you to think and, when it serves you best, to change how you think.
My words will challenge some of the things you have come to believe as certain truths. It will take you up, around, and back again, but the steps will always lead back to you. Where the road leads, we will follow. You must know how you think to think better. You must always know what is on your mind, for it will trick you when you are least aware. There is no wrong to be said here, forβafter allβit will be how you think and feel about what you see. Who are you? Do you really know? Are you, you, or are you the product of someone elseβs invention?
A place is prepared for us before we arrive, but is that the place to be? What I see is not for me. I have always understood survival from the time I became aware of my humanity. If my thinking had been what othersβcaregivers, relatives, virtual strangersβwanted me to think, I would not be here today. And if the thinking of the worldβs leaders continues on track, none of us will be here to turn off the lights when it is over. Now think about that if you dare: Your plans for yourself and your family; your hopes and dreams of the life left to live βup in smokeβ or nuclear fallout, if you will.
You Have a Thought You Think You Feel You Act
Here is where you should be if you know someone who has ever lived with the hurt and pain that only a dysfunctional childhood and emotional trauma can breed. The seed is planted and grows from a family lifeβ no matter its makeupβthat does not provide the nurturing, caring, and protection to produce a healthy mind. Childhood must be a safe and loving place for a child to grow strong of mind and character.
This is your lifeβyou have finally arrived where you will find the peace of mind and sense of well-being you seek. Where your thoughts now will be worthy of thinking and no longer be the source of anguish, hurt, and pain. We will address the many issues concerning why we all think the way we do. We will see how changing how you think will change how you feel and relate to the people, places, and things in your life. And you will see how becoming the true person you are meant to be will give you the vision to see what is, is not what you may have thought it to be.
You will better understand your thoughts and your thinking process, just as those who βtraveled this roadβ before you. I am talking about the creation of you to be you. Because, for sure, you have to be you. When you try to be someone you are not, you are no one until you find your way back home. Life is made better or worse by how we think.
What we do here will not only better the lives of those who follow βIt Is How You Think,β it will also touch those who are touched by those who do. Here you will find the tools to help you change how you think, therefore, how you feel and act. If you, a family member, or a friend has been touched in any way by childhood traumaβor notβor if you know of someone who has otherwise been mishandled by others in their life, this is the place to be.
It Is How You Think
WHAT IS LEFT WHEN ALL ELSE IS GONE
Using current events, I will show how the actions and behaviors of βnews makers,β both in public and private, that result in adverse outcomes originate and have their roots in early childhood. The foundation is laid there by dysfunctional adults with a supremacist mindset: cementing in the minds of the young what to think. They are the leaders those in charge with our lives in their hands. Their thinking is disordered and how they think will bring about the end for us all.
You do not make decisions that will cause harm to your βSelfβ and others and the very source of your existence if not for dysfunction in the family setting and possible mental defects passed from one generation to the next. It is so ingrained that one would think that it must be in the DNA.
MAD
When you first read, see, or hear my words, some of what I say could cause you to question how it applies to how you think. And my answer will be all things you do require you to think and, when it serves you best, to change how you think.
My words will challenge some of the things you have come to believe as certain truths. It will take you up, around, and back again, but the steps will always lead back to you. Where the road leads, we will follow. You must know how you think to think better. You must always know what is on your mind, for it will trick you when you are least aware. There is no wrong to be said here, forβafter allβit will be how you think and feel about what you see. Who are you? Do you really know? Are you, you, or are you the product of someone elseβs invention?
A place is prepared for us before we arrive, but is that the place to be? What I see is not for me. I have always understood survival from the time I became aware of my humanity. If my thinking had been what othersβcaregivers, relatives, virtual strangersβwanted me to think, I would not be here today. And if the thinking of the worldβs leaders continues on track, none of us will be here to turn off the lights when it is over. Now think about that if you dare: Your plans for yourself and your family; your hopes and dreams of the life left to live βup in smokeβ or nuclear fallout, if you will.
THE MESSENGER
James R. Yarbrough
Thought
Snapshot In Time
I SEE YOU
Community
THE BEAT GOES ON
BLACK MAGIC WOMAN
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