When Your Mind is Hurting and You Do Not Know What to Do
Pain Does Not Cause Pain How You Think and Act Does
Your husband or wife does not cause your pain. Neither your employer nor your friends are the cause of the pain that you feel. The pain that you feel is caused by no one other than you. It does not matter from where it came; you allow it to do what it does. It is not the job, the neighbor or anyone else or thing. The source of the pain is your thinking.
Stressful experiences in early childhood can have long-lasting impacts on kids’ health that persist well beyond the resolution of the situation. My entire childhood and much of my adult life, no matter the bright spots, was filled with pain. I could not be me for any length of time. My mind would not let me. What was wrong had to be made right and what was wrong was in me. I had known from when I was a small child—three or four, maybe—that my thoughts and how I would think them was adding to my pain. My heart would ache and my soul would scream, why me. These were times when little was known about why we do the things that we do. We now know more about emotional trauma and abuse in childhood and its effect on the mind, this is good.
What is not so good is that those who know do not know what they should. It seems that what no one wants to admit, and we (society) will not own up to, is what we are doing to us. I ask myself, what is the end game. Does anyone know? A childhood of pain and hurt can only lead to one thing, a life of the same. That is, if you do not listen to what you hear. And it is difficult to do that when you are still clinging on to debris from your childhood. A cluttered mind leaves no place for good things to go. You let pain you did not cause, cause you to suffer from pain you did cause. When how you think and act is the result of the pain you feel, you must trace your pain to where it leads. That would be your childhood.
Your childhood is real and the effect that it has on you—good or bad— is real, as well. You must look back one last time. First, though, you have to let down your defense, drop your guard, maybe, for the first time. If the trip is difficult to take, try being me and I will be you. To see life the way that I saw it—even though not through my eyes—will help you to understand how the millions who suffer here, and around the world may feel. How they act is a way to learn about you. When you change how you think, it can be done. Yes, many of us have been hurt. Your pain has its roots in and grows from a life being interfered with. You have to go back to this point. It is where your path to a right way of thinking begins.
It is the thoughts of your childhood that hurts. If it is not you who you see when you look, you are likely to recognize someone you know and possibly love. Or someone you just care about. Maybe it is someone you have empathy for, never knowing why they act the way they do. There is someone you know here—whether you knew it or not. Now you will know and have a better understanding of them and yourself. It is a matter of self-awareness, which simply means feeling good about yourself. Knowing who you are and being the real you; the person you were meant to be. That goes for all of us, you, them and me. It is a journey that begins with the first step, and the first step always begins in early childhood where the basis of your personality and sensitivities are formed. What comes next is the product of your environment. It is there in your mental and physical environment where your thoughts are formed by way of the senses and are molded in the image of the messages you receive through awareness and perception.
My self-esteem, which most of the time ran low, caused me not to do my best. It was not that I could not be my best. I just would not let myself do it. I was weak though I acted strong, and that is not pretty and fools no one. It is not likely that we can have a productive life without a heavy dose of self-esteem. We all need it. It is being Self-aware and it will not leave you, it is with you for life. It is how a child develops a healthy sense of self-worth; that I am “somebody.” This does not always happen when it should. What has the most negative impact on our lives is when it does not develop at all. You need it to live an emotionally mature life. It is not likely that you can have a productive life without a heavy dose of self-esteem. We all need it. If this does not happen in early childhood, it will cause you to think, feel and act in ways you would rather not. Life will be difficult, at best. It can take years, if ever, to gain what you never had, but always needed.
That your view may be clouded by time and the hurt that you felt does not change a thing. You were a child in an adult world. You must first be aware of something before you can have thoughts about it, and your thoughts are based on perception. Life is understood and lived through your senses, and for each sense that is lost, there is a reduction in the ability to perceive and interact with the world around you.
We allow ourselves to be reminded of things long past that serve no useful purpose in our life today. A memory from your childhood can be one of them. The best place for a child to grow up is a place that nurtures and cares. It is there where childhoods grow. As well as being nurtured, we are born to this world to nurture. We are born with an instinct to live. It is in our nature though it does not always show.
The American Academy of Pediatrics in a Healthy Children article defines self-esteem as “the way in which an individual perceives herself—in other words, her own thoughts and feelings about herself and her ability to achieve in ways that are important to her. This self-esteem is shaped by not only a child’s own perceptions and expectations, but also by the perceptions and expectations of significant people in her life—how she is thought of and treated by parents, teachers and friends. The closer her perceived self (how she sees herself) comes to her ideal self (how she would like to be) the higher her self-esteem.”
Peace
Do You Know Why You Did That
You and Your Mind
(what a pair)
When you are not sure of what is on your mind and exactly what you think, you will not have confidence in what you say and do. Thinking is not a problem for any of us—we all do it—but what we think can be. When you think your mind is telling you what it wants to do with your thoughts. But, unless you make the decision, you cannot be sure the right one has been made.
You should listen to your mind. And if it is not what is best for you, this is when you tell your mind what you are going to do. You rule your mind. It should never be in charge of what you do and say. The mind and the self—the Self is you—should always agree before decisions are made. That is the way it has to be. Any other way will result in disordered thinking and an uncertain outcome. Never, with no exceptions, do or say a thing that will cause you to act in a way that is harmful to you and your best interest.
When left to itself, the mind has no power of its own; it is powered by the world in which it exists. Thinking is what feeds the mind and tells it what to do and your thoughts are what you think. At which time you, or you and your mind decide what actions to take. How you act is how others know you for they cannot know what you are thinking. No one, not a Psychiatrist, Psychologist or any “wise one” can read your mind. Though many do not subscribe to the following truth it is true nonetheless: We are known and judged, yes judged, by our behavior and how we act. You cannot act before you think and once you do what you have done, it cannot be taken back. Think as long as it takes and if for whatever reason you feel rushed, do not make a decision until you have the time to understand your thoughts. You must think as long as you need to make the best decision for you.
You have friends, neighbors, people you work with, and too many times relatives who act in a way you prefer they did not. But for good or bad, better or worse, you but in a few such times, do not control what they do. Each one of us is solely responsible for the things we do, or not. Of course there are some who try to take matters into their own hands. They use various ways and means to influence the behavior of others and there are times it may seem to work; however, unless it is what they wanted to do, you can never know for sure when they will not. You cannot depend on coercion to have your way with others. It is a mind thing.
The mind is meant to explore the possibilities, to wonder, to create, and to consider what is and what can be. There is no limit where the mind will go, so there are times when you have to call it back. Perceptions are formed in the mind for us to have thoughts to think. Our thoughts are based on what we receive. And it is all recorded by the brain. The memory is no more or less good or bad than the “trigger” to turn it on. You will remember if there is reason to do so. Memory has not shown that there is a ranking for its use as thought has. There is no order of recall. It all comes to us by direct thought.
Our senses will call on our memories when we have a need to know. Of course, we have no memory of things we have not been aware of, yet. Our mind is where we think our thoughts and it suggests to us what to do. We have the choice to overrule the mind if need be.
The mind is the master of thought. And we are the master of the mind. Once we are aware, we have a thought. The power of the brain is what guides our lives. It is the first organ to grow from the seed of life. Encased by the skull bone it is the most protected. It is the command post for all of our actions. What we fail to realize, at times, is that it provides us with all we need to do our own thinking.
You have to listen to learn and learn to listen. Are you listening now.
The Messenger
Start Listening To What You Read And Hear
Our brains have the same makeup, but different—as we are—in what it can do for us. Our thoughts are one of them. There is no restriction on the thoughts that we think. There is a limit on the thoughts that we have. It is not the same for any of us. It depends on what you have in your world to think about. You will not have a thought about a thing you do not know a thing about. There are no equal rights of thought. We do have the sole privilege to think the thoughts that we have. And that is with no known limit. Now, of course, we are not all an Einstein.
The world we live in is the thing that determines our thoughts. Our thoughts come to life based on how we perceive what we see, hear and feel. We are taught how to think no matter the genes we may have been gifted with. We do not teach ourselves. We learn from the many teachers in our life. Some of them are not good thinkers—unfortunately—and are just passing on what they were taught. This way of thinking flows from one generation to the next. It is much a part of what we have to live with. Whether we choose peace or war, love or hate, empathy or indifference, it is how we think. Well, whatever is handed down to us we then try it on our own. As we grow and develop, we decide what to think. Even so, what we think will be influenced by what we were taught in our formative years.
If you want different thoughts to think, you have to open your world to more things. You have to meet more, or different people, go to places you have not been and do things you have not tried. If you hold back, you will continue to think what you have always thought and do what you have always done. Even our imagination has its roots in what we know. It cannot run away with you on its own. The dreams that we have are no different; though, you may find it difficult to believe with the dreams that you have.
There are many things that someone can do for you but thinking is not one of them. Though people we know, some we just met and even a few we have not, will try. For them to do so, they would first have to know your thoughts. There are some things that we have, which belongs to no one but us. They are our thoughts. And we cannot have a thought about things we do not know to exist. We think based on knowing. There is no limit, but not all thinking is the same.
When I say to think a thought, what I mean is, thought and thinking are not always the same. A thought is just a thought until you think it. Think of a thought as being inert, not doing a thing from when you have it, until you think of what you want to do with it. The time between the two is so short, there is no way to measure. Another thing, when someone says, I know what is on your mind, well, of course, they do not.
We are yet to know when someone has a thought or what they are thinking. And there is good reason we do not. We know them by what they say and do. We were not given the ability to read minds. If you are wondering why not, just think if you knew what is on the minds of the people you know and lack wise, they could read your thoughts. The things we would do to each other are unimaginable. It cannot be possible if we are to continue to exist as we are or at all.
Thought is not only what you had. It is also, what you have. You thought and you have a thought. A thought cannot be forced. To try to do so is called thinking. Once we have a thought, we think it or it moves to our memory. It will not be undone. It is the same as it is with life. The life we have lived cannot be changed. What exist to us is all we know. And we decide what we are going to do with it. Think about this.
Say you are walking down a long and winding road and along the way, you meet me. You will have a thought based on your perception of me and others “like” me. This is the first thing that will happen. You will then think about us. If you like what you see, you may proceed; though, with caution. If you do not feel safe, you may go in another direction. Or you may not have strong feelings either way. No matter how you feel, your feelings will be based on what you think. And you will act according to how you feel.
We perceive, have a thought, we think, we feel we act. That is the course of an action process as my thinking tells me.
Start Reading and Listening to What You Hear
Our brains have the same makeup, but different—as we are—in what it can do for us. Our thoughts are one of them. There is no restriction on the thoughts that we think. There is a limit on the thoughts that we have. It is not the same for any of us. It depends on what you have in your world to think about. You will not have a thought about a thing you do not know a thing about. There are no equal rights of thought. We do have the sole privilege to think the thoughts that we have. And that is with no known limit. Now, of course, we are not all an Einstein.
The world we live in is the thing that determines our thoughts. Our thoughts come to life based on how we perceive what we see, hear and feel. We are taught how to think no matter the genes we may have been gifted with. We do not teach ourselves. We learn from the many teachers in our life. Some of them are not good thinkers—unfortunately—and are just passing on what they were taught. This way of thinking flows from one generation to the next. It is much a part of what we have to live with. Whether we choose peace or war, love or hate, empathy or indifference, it is how we think. Well, whatever is handed down to us we then try it on our own. As we grow and develop, we decide what to think. Even so, what we think will be influenced by what we were taught in our formative years.
If you want different thoughts to think, you have to open your world to more things. You have to meet more, or different people, go to places you have not been and do things you have not tried. If you hold back, you will continue to think what you have always thought and do what you have always done. Even our imagination has its roots in what we know. It cannot run away with you on its own. The dreams that we have are no different; though, you may find it hard to believe with the dreams that you have.
There are many things that someone can do for you but thinking is not one of them. Though people we know, some we just met and even a few we have not, will try. For them to do so, they would first have to know your thoughts. There are some things that we have, which belongs to no one but us. They are our thoughts. And we cannot have a thought about things we do not know to exist. We think based on knowing. There is no limit, but not all thinking is the same.
When I say to think a thought, what I mean is, thought and thinking are not always the same. A thought is just a thought until you think it. Think of a thought as being inert, not doing a thing from when you have it, until you think of what you want to do with it. The time between the two is so short, there is no way to measure. Another thing, when someone says, I know what is on your mind, well, of course, they do not. We are yet to know when someone has a thought or what they are thinking. And there is good reason we do not. We know them by what they say and do. We were not given the ability to read minds. If you are wondering why not, just think if you knew what is on the minds of the people you know and lack wise, they could read your thoughts. The things we would do to each other are unimaginable. It cannot be possible if we are to continue to exist as we are or at all.
Thought is not only what you had. It is also, what you have. You thought and you have a thought. A thought cannot be forced. To try to do so is called thinking. Once we have a thought, we think it or it moves to our memory. It will not be undone. It is the same as it is with life. The life we have lived cannot be changed. What exist to us is all we know. And we decide what we are going to do with it. Think about this.
Say you are walking down a long and winding road and along the way, you meet me. You will have a thought based on your perception of me and others “like” me. This is the first thing that will happen. You will then think about us. If you like what you see, you may proceed; though, with caution. If you do not feel safe, you may go in another direction. Or you may not have strong feelings either way. No matter how you feel, your feelings will be based on what you think. And you will act according to how you feel. We perceive, have a thought, we think, we feel we act. That is the course of an action process, as I believe it to be.
Start Reading and Listening to What You Hear
Our brains have the same makeup, but different—as we are—in what it can do for us. Our thoughts are one of them. There is no restriction on the thoughts that we think. There is a limit on the thoughts that we have. It is not the same for any of us. It depends on what you have in your world to think about. You will not have a thought about a thing you do not know a thing about. There are no equal rights of thought. We do have the sole privilege to think the thoughts that we have. And that is with no known limit. Now, of course, we are not all an Einstein.
The world we live in is the thing that determines our thoughts. Our thoughts come to life based on how we perceive what we see, hear and feel. We are taught how to think no matter the genes we may have been gifted with. We do not teach ourselves. We learn from the many teachers in our life. Some of them are not good thinkers—unfortunately—and are just passing on what they were taught. This way of thinking flows from one generation to the next. It is much a part of what we have to live with. Whether we choose peace or war, love or hate, empathy or indifference, it is how we think. Well, whatever is handed down to us we then try it on our own. As we grow and develop, we decide what to think. Even so, what we think will be influenced by what we were taught in our formative years.
If you want different thoughts to think, you have to open your world to more things. You have to meet more, or different people, go to places you have not been and do things you have not tried. If you hold back, you will continue to think what you have always thought and do what you have always done. Even our imagination has its roots in what we know. It cannot run away with you on its own. The dreams that we have are no different; though, you may find it hard to believe with the dreams that you have.
There are many things that someone can do for you but thinking is not one of them. Though people we know, some we just met and even a few we have not, will try. For them to do so, they would first have to know your thoughts. There are some things that we have, which belongs to no one but us. They are our thoughts. And we cannot have a thought about things we do not know to exist. We think based on knowing. There is no limit, but not all thinking is the same.
When I say to think a thought, what I mean is, thought and thinking are not always the same. A thought is just a thought until you think it. Think of a thought as being inert, not doing a thing from when you have it, until you think of what you want to do with it. The time between the two is so short, there is no way to measure. Another thing, when someone says, I know what is on your mind, well, of course, they do not. We are yet to know when someone has a thought or what they are thinking. And there is good reason we do not. We know them by what they say and do. We were not given the ability to read minds. If you are wondering why not, just think if you knew what is on the minds of the people you know and lack wise, they could read your thoughts. The things we would do to each other are unimaginable. It cannot be possible if we are to continue to exist as we are or at all.
Thought is not only what you had. It is also, what you have. You thought and you have a thought. A thought cannot be forced. To try to do so is called thinking. Once we have a thought, we think it or it moves to our memory. It will not be undone. It is the same as it is with life. The life we have lived cannot be changed. What exist to us is all we know. And we decide what we are going to do with it. Think about this.
Say you are walking down a long and winding road and along the way, you meet me. You will have a thought based on your perception of me and others “like” me. This is the first thing that will happen. You will then think about us. If you like what you see, you may proceed; though, with caution. If you do not feel safe, you may go in another direction. Or you may not have strong feelings either way. No matter how you feel, your feelings will be based on what you think. And you will act according to how you feel. We perceive, have a thought, we think, we feel we act. That is the course of an action process, as I believe it to be.
When Your Mind is Hurting and You Do Not Know What to Do
Confusion
Pain Does Not Cause Pain How You Think and Act Does
Your husband or wife does not cause your pain. Neither your employer nor your friends are the cause of the pain that you feel. The pain that you feel is caused by no one other than you. It does not matter from where it came; you allow it to do what it does. It is not the job, the neighbor or anyone else or thing. The source of the pain is your thinking.
Stressful experiences in early childhood can have long-lasting impacts on kids’ health that persist well beyond the resolution of the situation. My entire childhood and much of my adult life, no matter the bright spots, was filled with pain. I could not be me for any length of time. My mind would not let me. What was wrong had to be made right and what was wrong was in me. I had known from when I was a small child—three or four, maybe—that my thoughts and how I would think them was adding to my pain. My heart would ache and my soul would scream, why me. These were times when little was known about why we do the things that we do. We now know more about emotional trauma and abuse in childhood and its effect on the mind, this is good.
What is not so good is that those who know do not know what they should. It seems that what no one wants to admit, and we (society) will not own up to, is what we are doing to us. I ask myself, what is the end game. Does anyone know? A childhood of pain and hurt can only lead to one thing, a life of the same. That is, if you do not listen to what you hear. And it is difficult to do that when you are still clinging on to debris from your childhood. A cluttered mind leaves no place for good things to go. You let pain you did not cause, cause you to suffer from pain you did cause. When how you think and act is the result of the pain you feel, you must trace your pain to where it leads. That would be your childhood.
Your childhood is real and the affect that it has on you—good or bad— is real, as well. You must look back one last time. First, though, you have to let down your defense, drop your guard, maybe, for the first time. If the trip is difficult to take, try being me and I will be you. To see life the way that I saw it—even though not through my eyes—will help you to understand how the millions who suffer here, and around the world may feel. How they act is a way to learn about you. When you change how you think, it can be done. Yes, many of us have been hurt. Your pain has its roots in and grows from a life being interfered with. You have to go back to this point. It is where your path to a right way of thinking begins.
It is the thoughts of your childhood that hurts. If it is not you who you see when you look, you are likely to recognize someone you know and possibly love. Or someone you just care about. Maybe it is someone you have empathy for, never knowing why they act the way they do. There is someone you know here—whether you knew it or not. Now you will know and have a better understanding of them and yourself. It is a matter of self-awareness, which simply means feeling good about yourself. Knowing who you are and being the real you; the person you were meant to be. That goes for all of us, you, them and me. It is a journey that begins with the first step, and the first step always begins in early childhood where the basis of your personality and sensitivities are formed. What comes next is the product of your environment. It is there in your mental and physical environment where your thoughts are formed by way of the senses and are molded in the image of the messages we receive through awareness and perception.
My self-esteem, which most of the time ran low, caused me not to do my best. It was not that I could not be my best. I just would not let myself do it. I was weak though I acted strong, and that is not pretty and fools no one. It is not likely that we can have a productive life without a heavy dose of self-esteem. We all need it. It is being Self-aware and it will not leave you, it is with you for life. It is how a child develops a healthy sense of self-worth; that I am “somebody.” This does not always happen when it should. What has the most negative impact on our lives is when it does not develop at all. You need it to live an emotionally mature life. It is not likely that you can have a productive life without a heavy dose of self-esteem. We all need it. If this does not happen in early childhood, it will cause you to think, feel and act in ways you would rather not. Life will be difficult, at best. It can take years, if ever, to gain what you never had, but always needed.
That your view may be clouded by time and the hurt that you felt does not change a thing. You were a child in an adult world. You must first be aware of something before you can have thoughts about it, and your thoughts are based on perception. Life is understood and lived through your senses, and for each sense that is lost, there is a reduction in the ability to perceive and interact with the world around you.
We allow ourselves to be reminded of things long past that serve no useful purpose in our life today. A memory from your childhood can be one of them. The best place for a child to grow up is a place that nurtures and cares. It is there where childhoods grow. As well as being nurtured, we are born to this world to nurture. We are born with an instinct to live. It is in our nature though it does not always show.
The American Academy of Pediatrics in a Healthy Children article defines self-esteem as “the way in which an individual perceives herself—in other words, her own thoughts and feelings about herself and her ability to achieve in ways that are important to her. This self-esteem is shaped by not only a child’s own perceptions and expectations, but also by the perceptions and expectations of significant people in her life—how she is thought of and treated by parents, teachers and friends. The closer her perceived self (how she sees herself) comes to her ideal self (how she would like to be) the higher her self-esteem.”
I Have a Secret and I Will Not Tell
Our brains have the same makeup, but different—as we are—in what it can do for us. Our thoughts are one of them. There is no restriction on the thoughts that we think. There is a limit on the thoughts that we have. It is not the same for any of us. It depends on what you have in your world to think about. You will not have a thought about a thing you do not know a thing about. There are no equal rights of thought. We do have the sole privilege to think the thoughts that we have. And that is with no known limit. Now, of course, we are not all an Einstein.
The world we live in is the thing that determines our thoughts. Our thoughts come to life based on how we perceive what we see, hear and feel. We are taught how to think no matter the genes we may have been gifted with. We do not teach ourselves. We learn from the many teachers in our life. Some of them are not good thinkers—unfortunately—and are just passing on what they were taught. This way of thinking flows from one generation to the next. It is much a part of what we have to live with. Whether we choose peace or war, love or hate, empathy or indifference, it is how we think. Well, whatever is handed down to us we then try it on our own. As we grow and develop, we decide what to think. Even so, what we think will be influenced by what we were taught in our formative years.
If you want different thoughts to think, you have to open your world to more things. You have to meet more, or different people, go to places you have not been and do things you have not tried. If you hold back, you will continue to think what you have always thought and do what you have always done. Even our imagination has its roots in what we know. It cannot run away with you on its own. The dreams that we have are no different; though, you may find it hard to believe with the dreams that you have.
There are many things that someone can do for you but thinking is not one of them. Though people we know, some we just met and even a few we have not, will try. For them to do so, they would first have to know your thoughts. There are some things that we have, which belongs to no one but us. They are our thoughts. And we cannot have a thought about things we do not know to exist. We think based on knowing. There is no limit, but not all thinking is the same.
When I say to think a thought, what I mean is, thought and thinking are not always the same. A thought is just a thought until you think it. Think of a thought as being inert, not doing a thing from when you have it, until you think of what you want to do with it. The time between the two is so short, there is no way to measure. Another thing, when someone says, I know what is on your mind, well, of course, they do not. We are yet to know when someone has a thought or what they are thinking. And there is good reason we do not. We know them by what they say and do. We were not given the ability to read minds. If you are wondering why not, just think if you knew what is on the minds of the people you know and lack wise, they could read your thoughts. The things we would do to each other are unimaginable. It cannot be possible if we are to continue to exist as we are or at all.
Thought is not only what you had. It is also, what you have. You thought and you have a thought. A thought cannot be forced. To try to do so is called thinking. Once we have a thought, we think it or it moves to our memory. It will not be undone. It is the same as it is with life. The life we have lived cannot be changed. What exist to us is all we know. And we decide what we are going to do with it. Think about this.
Say you are walking down a long and winding road and along the way, you meet me. You will have a thought based on your perception of me and others “like” me. This is the first thing that will happen. You will then think about us. If you like what you see, you may proceed; though, with caution. If you do not feel safe, you may go in another direction. Or you may not have strong feelings either way. No matter how you feel, your feelings will be based on what you think. And you will act according to how you feel. We perceive, have a thought, we think, we feel we act. That is the course of an action process, as I believe it to be.
You Can’t Think That
Capacity to Think
Our brains have the same makeup, but different—as we are—in what it can do for us. Our thoughts are one of them. There is no restriction on the thoughts that we think. There is a limit on the thoughts that we have. It is not the same for any of us. It depends on what we have in our world to think about. We will not have a thought about a thing we know not a thing about. There are no equal rights of thought. We do have the sole privilege to think the thoughts that we have. And that is with no known limit. Now, of course, we cannot all be an Einstein.
The world we live in is the thing that determines our thoughts. Our thoughts come to life based on what we perceive of our world. We are taught how to think. We learn from the many teachers in our life. Then we try it on our own. We decide what to think and that can only be based on what we are aware of that exist. What no one can do is think for you—though they try—because no one can know your thoughts. Your thoughts belong to you. We think based on what we know about; what we are aware of.What we do with it once we know has much to do with how we receive it. There is no limit, but not all thinking is the same. If you want more or different thoughts to think, you have to open your world to more things. People, places and things you have not known or tried before. When you do not, you will continue to think what you have always thought.
When I say to think a thought, what I mean is, thought and thinking are not always the same. A thought is just a thought until you think it. You cannot think of a thing until you have a thought about that thing. And our thoughts are based on how we perceive what we see, hear and feel. A thought just is until it is not. Think of a thought as being inert, not doing a thing from when we have it, until we think of what we want to do with it. The time between the two is quick. There is no way to measure. We are yet to know when someone has a thought or what they are thinking. And there is good reason we do not. We know them by what they say and do. We were not given the ability to read minds.
Thought is not only what you had. It is also, what you have. You thought and you have a thought. It is what you have thought, and what you have to think. A thought cannot be forced. To try to do so is called thinking. Once we have a thought, either we think it or it moves to our memory. It will not be undone. It is the same as it is with life. The life we have lived cannot be changed; it is what it is, forever. What exist to us is all we know. And we decide what we are going to do with it. Think about this.
Say you are walking down a long and winding road and along the way, you meet me. You will have a thought based on your perception of me. This is the first thing that will happen. You will then think about us. If you like what you see, you just may proceed; though, with caution.
If you do not feel safe, you may go in another direction. Or you may not have strong feelings either way. No matter how you feel, your feelings will be based on what you think. And you will act according to how you feel. We perceive, have a thought, we think, we feel we act. That is the course of an action process, as I believe it to be.
When Your Mind is Hurting and You Do Not Know What to Do
Pain Does Not Cause Pain How You Think and Act Does
Your husband or wife does not cause your pain. Neither your employer nor your friends are the cause of the pain that you feel. The pain that you feel is caused by no one other than you. It does not matter from where it came; you allow it to do what it does. It is not the job, the neighbor or anyone else or thing. The source of the pain is your thinking.
Stressful experiences in early childhood can have long-lasting impacts on kids’ health that persist well beyond the resolution of the situation. My entire childhood and much of my adult life, no matter the bright spots, was filled with pain. I could not be me for any length of time. My mind would not let me. What was wrong had to be made right and what was wrong was in me. I had known from when I was a small child—three or four, maybe—that my thoughts and how I would think them was adding to my pain. My heart would ache and my soul would scream, why me. These were times when little was known about why we do the things that we do. We now know more about emotional trauma and abuse in childhood and its effect on the mind, this is good.
What is not so good is that those who know do not know what they should. It seems that what no one wants to admit, and we (society) will not own up to, is what we are doing to us. I ask myself, what is the end game. Does anyone know? A childhood of pain and hurt can only lead to one thing, a life of the same. That is, if you do not listen to what you hear. And it is difficult to do that when you are still clinging on to debris from your childhood. A cluttered mind leaves no place for good things to go. You let pain you did not cause, cause you to suffer from pain you did cause. When how you think and act is the result of the pain you feel, you must trace your pain to where it leads. That would be your childhood.
Your childhood is real and the affect that it has on you—good or bad— is real, as well. You must look back one last time. First, though, you have to let down your defense, drop your guard, maybe, for the first time. If the trip is difficult to take, try being me and I will be you. To see life the way that I saw it—even though not through my eyes—will help you to understand how the millions who suffer here, and around the world may feel. How they act is a way to learn about you. When you change how you think, it can be done. Yes, many of us have been hurt. Your pain has its roots in and grows from a life being interfered with. You have to go back to this point. It is where your path to a right way of thinking begins.
It is the thoughts of your childhood that hurts. If it is not you who you see when you look, you are likely to recognize someone you know and possibly love. Or someone you just care about. Maybe it is someone you have empathy for, never knowing why they act the way they do. There is someone you know here—whether you knew it or not. Now you will know and have a better understanding of them and yourself. It is a matter of self-awareness, which simply means feeling good about yourself. Knowing who you are and being the real you; the person you were meant to be. That goes for all of us, you, them and me. It is a journey that begins with the first step, and the first step always begins in early childhood where the basis of your personality and sensitivities are formed. What comes next is the product of your environment. It is there in your mental and physical environment where your thoughts are formed by way of the senses and are molded in the image of the messages we receive through awareness and perception.
My self-esteem, which most of the time ran low, caused me not to do my best. It was not that I could not be my best. I just would not let myself do it. I was weak though I acted strong, and that is not pretty and fools no one. It is not likely that we can have a productive life without a heavy dose of self-esteem. We all need it. It is being Self-aware and it will not leave you, it is with you for life. It is how a child develops a healthy sense of self-worth; that I am “somebody.” This does not always happen when it should. What has the most negative impact on our lives is when it does not develop at all. You need it to live an emotionally mature life. It is not likely that you can have a productive life without a heavy dose of self-esteem. We all need it. If this does not happen in early childhood, it will cause you to think, feel and act in ways you would rather not. Life will be difficult, at best. It can take years, if ever, to gain what you never had, but always needed.
That your view may be clouded by time and the hurt that you felt does not change a thing. You were a child in an adult world. You must first be aware of something before you can have thoughts about it, and your thoughts are based on perception. Life is understood and lived through your senses, and for each sense that is lost, there is a reduction in the ability to perceive and interact with the world around you.
We allow ourselves to be reminded of things long past that serve no useful purpose in our life today. A memory from your childhood can be one of them. The best place for a child to grow up is a place that nurtures and cares. It is there where childhoods grow. As well as being nurtured, we are born to this world to nurture. We are born with an instinct to live. It is in our nature though it does not always show.
The American Academy of Pediatrics in a Healthy Children article defines self-esteem as “the way in which an individual perceives herself—in other words, her own thoughts and feelings about herself and her ability to achieve in ways that are important to her. This self-esteem is shaped by not only a child’s own perceptions and expectations, but also by the perceptions and expectations of significant people in her life—how she is thought of and treated by parents, teachers and friends. The closer her perceived self (how she sees herself) comes to her ideal self (how she would like to be) the higher her self-esteem.”
How We Think About Thinking
For You Too
The Power of Thought
I suffered what felt like a lifetime of living while trying the best that I could to live the life that I had. Through hurt and pain, I tried with all my might to understand the meaning of it all. My question was, who am I? What is my role and purpose in life. My road had been a long and weary one and the answer came to me when I was not waiting for it nor expected it. I was ready for the first time and I knew it. I had found what I was not aware that I was looking for, my Self. What I once could not see is clear to me now. I understand and must move what I have learned forward.
Though I had taken years of university courses in Psychology and studied the field extensively, that is not what did it for me. It did not hurt, certainly; I learned a great deal. No, it is much deeper than that. It is about letting what you know be known. Letting it come out when it has hurt for too long from keeping it in. It is how I see the world, life as it was given, and nature as its guardian. What I have written came to me as natural as the flowers that grow and the birds that sing. It is a process that flows easily. It was written as it was revealed to me. My whole life is the reason that I am, and what I now know is the foundation of my beliefs. In this life, you and I both have a role to play.
You will need to open your mind to allow what is outside to come in. Only then will you know if what you hear is what you want to keep. Take some time and think along with me here. You will certainly have to think in a way that is different from how you have before. What we have thought to be, may not be that way at all. And what we have been taught to believe does not always look the same when we learn how to think our own thoughts. This, of course, many of us thought we already knew.
When I say to think a thought, what I mean is, thought and thinking are not always the same. Stay with me here, this requires a new way of thinking. Your life will be better off for what you are able to digest from what I have to say. A thought is just a thought until you think about it. You cannot think of a thing until you have a thought. And our thoughts are based on how we perceive what we see, hear and feel. A thought just is until it is not. Think of a thought as being inert, not doing a thing from when we have it, until we think of what we want to do with it. The time between the two is quick. There is no way to measure. We are yet to know when someone has a thought or what they are thinking. And there is good reason we do not.
Thought is not only what we had. It is also, what we have. You thought and you have a thought. It is what we have thought, and what we have to think. A thought cannot be forced. To try to do so is called thinking. Once we have a thought, either we think it or it moves to our memory. It will not be undone. It is the same as it is with life. The life we have lived cannot be changed; it is what it is, forever. Think about this. What exist to us is all we know. And we decide what we are going to do with it.
Say you are walking down a long and winding road and along the way, you meet me. You will have a thought based on your perception of me. This is the first thing that will happen. You will then think about us. If you like what you see, you will continue on your way. If for some reason—that can only be known by you—you do not feel safe, you will go in another direction or proceed with caution. Or you may not have strong feelings either way. No matter how you feel, your feelings will be based on what you think. And you will act according to how you feel. We perceive, have a thought, we think, we feel we act. That is the course of an action process, as I believe it to be.
We are taught how to think and must decide what to think. We should not think in a way that tells us things we do not need to hear. Your thoughts belong to you. No one can think for you, though many will try. All that I say about thought, thinking and how we perceive the world around has just one purpose. I am not in any way trying to tell you what to think, I am merely giving you something to think.
We are all born to think, but have to learn to think better. One of the most difficult things to take when I was child is that I could be told what thoughts to think. I did not want to be hurt, and what I heard did just that. We must decide the thoughts we choose to think. No one can do this for us. When we are taught from the start by someone who cares, we can. Thinking is what feeds the mind and tells it what to do.
“I had a thought but I don’t remember what it was.” Have you said this to yourself? The reason is it was not a full thought. When this happens, it was not a thought that held the mind’s attention. (I did not think it was important then, maybe later.) It is my belief that there are two kinds of thought. Have you been asked by someone what you think about a thought that they have. As in, I had a thought about us going shopping today. What do you think about that?
Their thought is the first thought. You can answer but you should not until you know what they think. You could ask, what do you have in mind, what do you think? Your thought then, is a pending thought. A pending thought is still just a thought. As a reminder, there is no greater thing that we have the sole responsibility for than when, what and how we think. It cannot be talked about enough; it determines how we live, if we live, and what is done with us when we do not. It also determines whether we win or lose, go or stay or just be in the way.
Now back to the question, what do you do with your pending thought. You do not know what you think yet. It is a thought that has to wait for the first thought. Someone is yet to think and act. It is the person with the first thought. When asked what you think about a thing, if you do not have a thought about it, you will think nothing. Therefore, there is nothing you can tell them. On one level, they may want your help to make up their mind. They have to think first. Otherwise, they are asking you to think for them. This you cannot do.
To try to think for someone, is not good thinking. One can, let another decide for them. But it will not be their decision until they decide. To think is a process that must end. The power of thinking is in when you act. Before you do, you can feel happy or sad, good or bad. How you act, how I act, is the best that can be known about how we think. This is true no matter what.
We should not act on what we think someone is going to say. That is, to the extent that you have your say before they do. It is a fault that I had during my early years. I did not see it as a problem. Though I could tell, there was a problem. It was not well received. I was this way because I was always on guard. Trying to protect my feelings the best that I could. This was my stance and my ready mode. Wait until you know all that you should. What we think about may not be what we think it is. That is because what we perceive and think we know may not be what is true. Perception can be reality, or not. What is to us, is not always, what is.
Thinking is a process, there is a start and there is a finish each time we think a thought. Once you start, you cannot stop until you are done. What we expose our Self to will be the source for the thoughts that enters our mind—who and what we are around—it is then up to us, what we do with them. We should not let thoughts that are not wanted stay where they do not belong. These kinds of thoughts we should refuse to have anything to do with. Let them go to your memory and let them stay there. Do not think them. They are of no value; no good can from it.
We rule over the mind. That is, we should. Never let it tell you what to do. You and your mind decide what to do with your thoughts. Do not do a thing that will cause you to act in a way other than how you wish. How we act is all that can be known about who we are. There are things that others do that we prefer they did not. We do not control this. We are in charge of how we act. That is the only affect we can have on what others do.
Thoughts will come. We cannot force them from our head. We can, pretend they are not there. They will remind us that they are. Before we act, we should be sure of what we think. What we do next depends on it. When you have good thoughts, it is more likely that good things will happen. Just to think good thoughts is good. It changes how we feel and is the mainstay of a content mind. Bad thoughts can seep in when there is fertile ground for a bad seed to be planted. Do not let bad thoughts take root.
When we think that good thoughts are bad or bad thoughts are good, it is not a good way to think. This is a sign of disordered thinking. It is usually brought on when we have allowed ourselves to be confused by the life we are living. There is someone there who should not be. It could be you. The mind is doing it and you are letting it happen. It is best to remember, that good comes from good and bad comes from bad. There is no other way. Bad can follow good things. Good can follow bad. But neither thing can come from the other thing. There is a point where one stops and the other starts. We will not change what is, no matter what we do. It has made its mark. It matters not if it is good or bad. What is done next will be the new what is. What has happened is over.
We should not talk or think of the bad when things are good. On a nice sunny day, have you heard someone say, or have you said, but it is supposed to be cloudy tomorrow. How can you ever enjoy what is there when you cannot leave good enough alone. But when we feel bad about ourselves, whether we acknowledge it or not, we will not let the good take root. It may not sound like much. It does show a certain frame of mind.
We should always try to think of the good when things are bad. It is cloudy today, but the sun may be out tomorrow. It is the right thing to do because we feel what we think. Thinking should lift the soul and stir the mind. How we think our thoughts forms the foundation on which our lives are built. There is not a thing to think but a thought.
There will be times when you may wonder what it all means and if you should continue. The new tends to be that way, which is how we learn. Be it works of art, literature or merely understanding the use of a product you recently purchased. We must first understand and follow the instructions for best use.
You do not know how good a thought is until you know how good it was. Thought is language for the mind. It drives both actions and words. And there is no such thing as a bad word. The use of a word decides what it is worth. How we arrange our words say what we mean. We should never say what we do not mean to say. Think.
When we think, we are having a talk with ourselves. You can do this two ways. You think your thoughts to yourself. That is when you talk to yourself and not say a word. The other, which I have done since I was a child, is to think your thoughts out loud. This is a good way to discuss what is on your mind with yourself when no one else is around. We think for a reason. The reason is our thoughts. That is the only way for them to take on a life of their own. Not all thoughts are good for us to think. A thought of things best left alone is one of them. But we have to do something with them once we have one. It has to be processed. You either think it or send it back. What greater know how could you have than how to think good thoughts.
Ask me what I think. Do not tell what to think. Think for you. Let no one think this is what he or she can do. They will think this only if we have given them a reason to think so. It would be a reason that had the look of weakness. Our thoughts should be for our own well-being and those that we serve. No one can think the thought of another. We think our thoughts and think about how others act. We have to be aware of a thing to have thoughts about it. To shrink and expand our world is the best way to gauge the thoughts that we think. What I mean is, the limits we place, or not, on the people and things we allow in our world. There are some things we are better off without. Not all belongs in our head. Because once it is, it will forever be in our memory.
