The Sense of Touch
Good for You and Good to You
Touch is the first of the five senses to develop in the womb and thereon plays an essential role in our everyday life and even to our own very existence. While the other four senses (sight, hearing, smell, and taste) are in specific parts of the body, the sense of touch is found all over. A nerve, also known as a sensory neuron, comes from every part of the body to carry impulses to the brain or spinal cord about the condition of the body. Within the body, the nerves are like the branches of a tree. They run to every part of the body, from the soles of the feet to the top of the scalp and from just below the skin to the inner organs such as the heart, liver and lungs. They give us information about the things of which our body comes in contact with. And body to body contact is one of those things.
The skin is the largest organ in the body. The nerve endings in our skin tell us what we feel, physically. The skin is a feeler. It is the organ used by the body for touching. Some areas of the body are more sensitive than other parts because they have more nerve endings. The most sensitive areas of the body are our hands, lips, face, neck, tongue, fingertips, feet and in the vaginal and groin area. Women tend to have better sense of touch due to smaller finger size. All they need to do, in my opinion, is to use them more often, as should men. The body is more sensitive in different areas for a reason. Through the sense of touch, we detect if something is squishy, wet, juicy, smooth, rough, hard or soft.
If you are normal, with no hang-ups, it feels good to be touched by those you want to be touched by. Now, of course, if someone touches you and it is not the touch that you want or the right time that is different. It can be a very unpleasant feeling, to say the least. It can cause you to react in a very unpredictable way, as you know. This, usually, does not have a good outcome. Or what is worst, you say nothing to the offender. You have to be the master of your world to be in touch with your Self. So, do not be touched when you wish not to be. The most intimate senses, of course, are the sense of smell and touch. When you feel it, you will know it. And who would have ever thought that there would come a day when there has to be a national campaign to let people know it is OK, even a good thing, to touch again. This, if nothing else, tells us that political correctness has become a caricature. It is making fun of itself.
There are married couples, would you believe, that go for years and never touch each other. Some take it a step further and sleep in separate beds in different rooms. Now that is bad and is not good for any reason. We know some of the best touching goes on under the sheets. Touch is likely the last sense we use just before we taste it. What about those taste buds on that tongue. You may see it, you may hear it, you may smell it, but when you touch it, you know it is real. Just as with love. “I want a love I can feel the only kind of love I know is real.”
There is nothing more real than the feel of the human body. That is when I know that you are there. To move slowly your hands circuitously from the crown of the head to the bottom of the feet, on the way taking in the hills, the valleys and sweeping the curves. Around the toes making sure to spread them apart gently using each of your fingers, size appropriate, between each toe. Reaching and stretching to massage softly the “fat meat.” All the time the scent beckons you to the honey pot. It is the smell of nature’s pearl. There is no better feel or smell than that of a fresh washed body—not just any body—where there are no cover-ups, no fancy displays and adornments. Now some like it a little sweated up from the start, after exercise, or some other activity, when the “funk” is high. However you like it you know it is right when all you hear is the silent call of desire. A whisper though no word has been spoken.
The body has a language of its own. It tells you what it feels. The back will arch, the thighs will flex and tense, and the mound of Venus will quiver ever so slightly. The body prepares itself for the man and woman as the brain directs the fuel of life to areas that say, I need you now. The juice flows, the tide rises and the boat floats. All is ready. You move to be received. There is an ache of desire and a flame of passion that blinds the eyes for we need not see. All from a thought, a smell and the human touch. You are in another world though you have not left the one you are in. It is a free fall as you pass yourself and leave your heart behind. Touch the taste of the body sweet. And find me where the minds meet.
Touch has a tremendous impact on most animals’ physical and psychological well-being. Our skin containing sensory receptors allows us to identify several distinct types of sensations. Numerous studies of humans and other animals have shown that touch greatly impacts how we develop physically and respond to the world mentally. So this leads me to talk a little Sigmund Freud, “the father of sex, and his theory.” This is only as it relates to touch and I have my experience from childhood that illustrates his theory. But first, let’s talk about the breasts.
In the first eight to twelve months of your life, a baby is often frustrated in his or her need to suckle. This can be because Mother is uncomfortable or even rough with, or tries to wean too early, then the baby may develop an oral-passive character. Now remember this is coming from Freud. An oral-passive personality tends to be rather dependent on others. They often retain an interest in “oral gratifications” such as eating, drinking, and smoking. It is as if they were seeking the pleasures they missed in infancy. He just maybe on to something here.
When we are between five and eight months old, we begin teething. One satisfying thing to do when you are teething is to bite on something. Your Mother’s nipple, such as, is one of the things you find tempting. If this causes a great deal of upset and precipitates an early weaning, you may develop an oral-aggressive personality. These people retain a life-long desire to bite on things, such as pencils, gum, and other people. They have a tendency to be verbally aggressive, argumentative, sarcastic, and so on. Even so, it appeared to Freud that the infant found its greatest pleasure in sucking, especially at the breast.
Before I wind things down on the sense of touch, it would be remiss of me not to say a little something about sex. And as I mentioned, Freud was if nothing else the self-anointed sex master. For Freud, the sex drive is the most important motivating force. In fact, for him, everything, all of our actions and thoughts, somehow has its roots in our sexuality. Freud felt it was the primary motivating force not only for adults but for children and even infants. He was not bashful about promoting his theories and the public in Vienna—where he introduced his ideas—was more than a little shocked. These were not the most enlightened times.
The capacity for orgasm from a neurological sense is there from birth, this is true. But Freud was talking about more than orgasm. Sexuality meant not only intercourse but also all pleasurable sensation from the skin. It is clear that babies, children, and, of course, adults, enjoy being touched, caressed, kissed, and so on. Freud noted that, at different times in our lives, different parts of our skin give us the greatest pleasure. Later theorists would call these areas erogenous zones. Now let us move on to my arousal. My first memory of being turned on.
I remember my aunt giving my cousin and me baths in a number 3, size washtub. She is a year older than I am and always acted older than her age. My body and mind at the age of three, or maybe it was four, did not know any difference in what I saw and what I was feeling. It was all the same and had no label. The last bath, of this kind, was when my aunt noticed my aroused state and the routine came to a sudden end. It was as if a warning sign popped up in her head.
My aunt would sometimes keep me when her sister, my mother/aunt, who I lived with, was at work. So I am sure the coed bathing had gone on for a while. And I can only imagine how overworked my sense of sight must have been and I am all but sure I snuck in a little touch here and there. None of it lasted long enough for me. As with most things in a young mind, the feelings moved on after that dreadful day. There was no carryover of feelings for my cousin, of course, I did not know what a cousin was at my age. I was just getting in touch with my feelings. It was just carnal not a thing personal about it. It could have been anyone. The feeling would not have changed.
Hearing the bad news of the end of my “greatest pleasure,” I did what a small child with big thoughts would do, I acted my age, crying and having a fit. I ran under the house to hide, which is what I would do when I did not get my way. Not being able to have what I wanted when I wanted it is something that would hound me for years to come. There are many things that you can have, but few of them you can have your way all the time. Even if you could it would lose its appeal before long.
The Human: Born to Do Wrong
There are laws, rules and regulations to keep us from doing the wrong thing. Now that is worth thinking about. It would seem that we are not that much different from nonhuman animals. We are not as civilized as we would like to think we are. Other animals are put in cages, and so are some of us. There are thousands of laws throughout the world with the sole purpose of keeping people in line. Why would this be if the human being is so wise and intelligent.
Are we not supposed to be the higher-level thinkers of the animal world? If this is so, why do we need the police, the military and all the various other means of enforcement just to keep us humans in check. Laws are broken all the time, even when we know there could be punishment to follow. Are we just wild by nature with an inclination to do the wrong thing? No, really, what do you think.
Now of course, on an up close and personal level, there are no laws to regulate how we treat each other. You are my wife but I am having sex with your “best friend,” is that right. Is it even legal. You tell your husband that you are out with the girls when you are at the motel with your lover. You say that you love her and cannot do without her. All along you are doing all that you can to “shove” the endless thoughts about the single life out of your head.
You moan so rhythmically, groan ever so softly, your hips swaying as if they have a mind of their own all while whispering to him how good he makes you feel. But it is all an act and you can hardly wait for him to roll off to his side of the bed. Your husband’s buddy cannot keep his eyes off your body parts. He does this each time your husband looks away. You enjoy his attention to the details of your assets, what are you going to do about it? Will you yield to temptation? Better yet, will you tell your husband; likely not.
On your last trip to your friend’s house, you made sure to “brush up” against her husband, did that satisfy you enough, or do you need more. Did he say you are excused or did he push back in silence letting it be known that he was thrilled by the touch. A casual acquaintance that you had “noticed” tells you that she wants to be with you that her loins ache for you. And you are married, will you yield to temptation. Your boyfriend who you really care about in so many ways and want to be with cannot satisfy you in bed. Will you yield to temptation and be with someone else just for sex. You are out with the boys and they want to go to the strip joint, you promised your wife you would not. Will you yield to temptation and go instead.
We will be tempted to do thing that we know are wrong by moral standards but feel right by our on desire. Do you yield to temptation or do you deny yourself the pleasure of what you really want to do. The pain and pleasure of life was put here for us to decide. There are some who believe that there should be no pleasure or that there should be some type of on and off switch. No such switch was included when we were created for pain and pleasure is part of who we are. You must decide if you will yield to temptation.
Pleasure is what we seek because it feels better than pain. That is why it is so difficult, not to yield to temptation. We are not made that way. The Creator used desire to make sure that his creation would forever be. This could not be so with pain. Pain does have a useful purpose—it tells you when all is not right and you should certainly listen to that. Just the thought of pain can prevent us from experiencing the same. There is a sweet spot and your life has to be in place to find it. When we deny ourselves the pleasures of life all that is left is pain. Now I ask you, will you yield to temptation?