Touch is the first of the five senses to develop in the womb and plays an essential role in our everyday life and even in our existence. While the other four senses (sight, hearing, smell, and taste) are in specific parts of the body—the sense of touch is all over. A nerve, also known as a sensory neuron, comes from every part of the body to carry impulses to the brain or spinal cord concerning the condition of the body. The nerves within the body are like the branches of a tree. They run the length of the body, from the soles of the feet to the top of the scalp and from just below the skin to the inner organs such as the heart, liver, and lungs. They give us information about the things with which our body comes in contact. And Body to Body contact is one of those things.
The skin is the largest organ in the body. The nerve endings in our skin tell us what we feel: what comes in contact with our bodies. The skin is a feeler. It is the organ used by the body for touching. Some areas of the body are more sensitive than others because they have more nerve endings. The body’s most sensitive areas are our hands, lips, face, neck, tongue, fingertips, feet, and the vaginal and groin area. Women tend to have a better sense of touch due to having smaller fingers. All they need to do, in my opinion, is to use them more often, as should men. The body is more sensitive in different areas for a reason. We detect if something is squishy, wet, juicy, smooth, rough, hard, or soft through the sense of touch.
If you are normal, with no hang-ups, it feels good to be touched by those who want to touch you.
If someone touches you and it is not the touch you want or the right time or person, that is different. It can be a very unpleasant feeling and can cause you to react very unpredictably, as you know. It usually does not end well. Or, what is worst, you say nothing to the offender. You must be the master of your world to be in touch with “The Self”: yourself. So, let no one touch you when you wish not to be. The most intimate senses, of course, are the sense of smell and touch. So, when you feel it, you will know it. And who would have ever thought there would come a day when there has to be a national campaign to let people know it is OK, even a good thing, to touch again.
This nonsense, if nothing else, tells us that political correctness has become a caricature. It is making fun of itself.
There are married couples, would you believe, that go for years and never touch each other. Some take it a step further and sleep in separate beds in different rooms. Now that is bad and is not good for any reasonable reason I can come up with. We know some of the best touching goes on under the sheets. Touch, in this scenario, is likely the last sense you use just before you taste it. What about those taste buds on that tongue? You may see it, you may hear it, you may smell it, but when you touch it, you know it is real. Just as with love. “I want a love I can feel; the only kind of love I know is real.”
There is nothing more real than the feel of the human body. That is when I know that you are there. To move your hands slowly and circuitously from the crown of the head to the bottom of the feet, taking in the hills, the valleys and sweeping the curves. Reaching and stretching to softly massage the “fat meat.” All the time, the scent beckons you to the honeypot. It is the smell of nature’s pearl. There is no better feel or smell than that of a freshly washed body—not just any body—where there are no cover-ups, fancy displays, and adornments.
Some like it a little sweated up from the start, after exercise, or some other activity when the “funk” is high. But however you like it, you know it is right when all you hear is the silent call of desire—a whisper though no word has been spoken.
The body has a language of its own. It tells you what it feels. The back will arch, the thighs will flex and tense, and the mound of Venus will quiver ever so slightly. And under the hood wishes to be set free.
The body prepares itself for the man and woman as the brain directs the fuel of life to areas that say, I need you now. The juice flows, the tide rises, and the boat floats. All is ready. You move to be received. An ache of desire and a flame of passion blinds the eyes, for we need not see. All comes from a thought, a smell, and the human touch. You are in another world though you have not left the one you are in now. It is a free fall as you pass yourself and leave your heart behind. Touch the taste of the body sweet. And find me where the minds meet.
Touch has a tremendous impact on most animals’ physical and psychological well-being. Our skin containing sensory receptors allows us to identify several distinct types of sensations. Numerous studies of humans and other animals have shown that touch greatly impacts how we develop physically and respond to the world mentally. So, this leads me to talk a little about Sigmund Freud, “the father of sex,” and his theory. This one relates to touch, and I have my own experience from childhood that illustrates his approach. It also has to do with breastfeeding.
And I have just a little to say about what I remember of being aroused for the first time. Though likely, it was not the first, just the first I was old enough to remember. I guess I was about—I don’t know— maybe three.
But first, let’s talk breastfeeding
In the first eight to twelve months of life, a baby is often frustrated by their need to suckle. This can be because the Mother is uncomfortable or even rough with the baby or tries to wean too early. Then the baby may develop an oral-passive character. (Now, remember that this is coming from Freud.) An oral-passive personality tends to be rather dependent on others. As a result, they often retain an interest in “oral gratifications” such as eating, drinking, and smoking. It is as if they were seeking the pleasures they missed in infancy. He may be on to something here.
When we are between five and eight months old, we begin teething. One satisfying thing to do when you are teething is to bite on something. Your Mother’s nipple, for example, is one of the things you find tempting. If this causes a great deal of upset and precipitates an early weaning, you may develop an oral-aggressive personality. These people retain a life-long desire to bite on things, such as pencils, gum, and other people. They also tend to be verbally aggressive, argumentative, sarcastic, and so on. I do not know about that, but I know about this. Or should I say what I was told. Not by my mother but by a person who seemed to know everything and everybody and was known as the neighborhood’s “head gossiper.” She was an Aunt and lived next door when I was a child.
My aunt told me my mother would come to my home and breastfeed me. She did not say how often. I did not live with my mother or my dad. I lived with my dad’s sister and her husband. And on this one day, while my mother was nursing me, I did the unthinkable. I bit my mother’s nipple off, yes, that’s right, off. I must have been angry. Each time my mother left, I am sure I felt abandoned.
Abandonment is another one of Freud’s theories. Knowing what I know now, I understand. She did not have much to choose from. The road she had traveled and the choices she had made—left her with few options. IT IS HOW YOU THINK. And how you think is how you feel, and how you feel is how you will act.
I do not recall any of this, nor do I know that it actually happened. But I could see myself doing what I was told that I did. With a beginning like mine, who would not be upset and sad at the same time. And if breast milk was a staple in my diet, I was likely quite hungry. Young twenties and working in a restaurant with no doubt irregular quitting times, my mother arrived late more times than not, I am sure. If my aunt had not told me about the attack on my mother’s nipple, I would have never known. As my aunt so gleefully told me, I opened wide and chomped down. It appeared to Freud that the infant found its greatest pleasure in sucking, especially at the breast. Though, I have never seen where he addressed nipple mutilation by an infant/toddler, if that is indeed what occurred.
Before I wind things down on the sense of touch, it would be remiss of me not to say a little something about sex. And as I mentioned, Freud was—if nothing else—the self-anointed sex master. For Freud, the sex drive is the most important motivating force. In fact, for him, everything, all of our actions and thoughts, somehow has its roots in our sexuality. Freud felt it was the primary motivating force not only for adults but for children and even infants. He was not bashful about promoting his theories, and the public in Vienna—where he introduced his ideas—was more than a little shocked. These were not the most enlightened times.
The capacity for orgasm from a neurological sense is there from birth; this is true. But Freud was talking about more than orgasm. Sexuality meant not only intercourse, but also all pleasurable sensation from the skin. It is clear that babies, children, and, of course, adults enjoy being touched, caressed, kissed, and so on. Freud noted that different parts of our skin give us the greatest pleasure at different times in our lives. Later theorists would call these areas erogenous zones. Now let us move on to my arousal.
I remember my aunt giving my cousin and me baths in a number 3 size washtub. She is a year older than me and always acted much older than her age. At the age of three or maybe four, my body and mind did not know any difference between what I saw and what I was feeling. It was all the same and had no label. The last bath of this kind was when my aunt noticed my aroused state, and the routine came to a sudden stop. As if a warning sign popped up in her head.
It is a shock to your system with no warning or prior notice, much like it would feel turning over in the middle of the night aroused by the onset of desire: And guess what, you reach for your love mate, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, or wife and what you expect is not what you get. Instead, the body says, not tonight. I am not in the mood.
I cannot say that I understood what was happening to me. But I did know that I had lost something that felt good. To touch and be touched is universal; there is no equal. It is how our souls truly connect. Without it, where would we be? A lonesome soul is what you would have.