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Posts tagged ‘Mind’

4
May

When Your Mind is Hurting and You Do Not Know What to Do

Pain Does Not Cause Pain How You Think and Act Does

Your husband or wife does not cause your pain. Neither your employer nor your friends are the cause of the pain that you feel. The pain that you feel is caused by no one other than you. It does not matter from where it came; you allow it to do what it does. It is not the job, the neighbor or anyone else or thing. The source of the pain is your thinking.

Stressful experiences in early childhood can have long-lasting impacts on kids’ health that persist well beyond the resolution of the situation. My entire childhood and much of my adult life, no matter the bright spots, was filled with pain. I could not be me for any length of time. My mind would not let me. What was wrong had to be made right and what was wrong was in me. I had known from when I was a small child—three or four, maybe—that my thoughts and how I would think them was adding to my pain. My heart would ache and my soul would scream, why me. These were times when little was known about why we do the things that we do. We now know more about emotional trauma and abuse in childhood and its effect on the mind, this is good.

What is not so good is that those who know do not know what they should. It seems that what no one wants to admit, and we (society) will not own up to, is what we are doing to us. I ask myself, what is the end game. Does anyone know? A childhood of pain and hurt can only lead to one thing, a life of the same. That is, if you do not listen to what you hear. And it is difficult to do that when you are still clinging on to debris from your childhood. A cluttered mind leaves no place for good things to go. You let pain you did not cause, cause you to suffer from pain you did cause.  When how you think and act is the result of the pain you feel, you must trace your pain to where it leads. That would be your childhood.

Your childhood is real and the effect that it has on you—good or bad— is real, as well. You must look back one last time. First, though, you have to let down your defense, drop your guard, maybe, for the first time. If the trip is difficult to take, try being me and I will be you. To see life the way that I saw it—even though not through my eyes—will help you to understand how the millions who suffer here, and around the world may feel. How they act is a way to learn about you. When you change how you think, it can be done. Yes, many of us have been hurt. Your pain has its roots in and grows from a life being interfered with. You have to go back to this point. It is where your path to a right way of thinking begins.

It is the thoughts of your childhood that hurts. If it is not you who you see when you look, you are likely to recognize someone you know and possibly love. Or someone you just care about. Maybe it is someone you have empathy for, never knowing why they act the way they do. There is someone you know here—whether you knew it or not. Now you will know and have a better understanding of them and yourself. It is a matter of self-awareness, which simply means feeling good about yourself. Knowing who you are and being the real you; the person you were meant to be. That goes for all of us, you, them and me. It is a journey that begins with the first step, and the first step always begins in early childhood where the basis of your personality and sensitivities are formed. What comes next is the product of your environment. It is there in your mental and physical environment where your thoughts are formed by way of the senses and are molded in the image of the messages you receive through awareness and perception.

My self-esteem, which most of the time ran low, caused me not to do my best. It was not that I could not be my best. I just would not let myself do it. I was weak though I acted strong, and that is not pretty and fools no one. It is not likely that we can have a productive life without a heavy dose of self-esteem. We all need it. It is being Self-aware and it will not leave you, it is with you for life. It is how a child develops a healthy sense of self-worth; that I am “somebody.” This does not always happen when it should. What has the most negative impact on our lives is when it does not develop at all. You need it to live an emotionally mature life. It is not likely that you can have a productive life without a heavy dose of self-esteem. We all need it. If this does not happen in early childhood, it will cause you to think, feel and act in ways you would rather not. Life will be difficult, at best. It can take years, if ever, to gain what you never had, but always needed.

That your view may be clouded by time and the hurt that you felt does not change a thing. You were a child in an adult world. You must first be aware of something before you can have thoughts about it, and your thoughts are based on perception. Life is understood and lived through your senses, and for each sense that is lost, there is a reduction in the ability to perceive and interact with the world around you.

We allow ourselves to be reminded of things long past that serve no useful purpose in our life today. A memory from your childhood can be one of them. The best place for a child to grow up is a place that nurtures and cares. It is there where childhoods grow. As well as being nurtured, we are born to this world to nurture. We are born with an instinct to live. It is in our nature though it does not always show.

The American Academy of Pediatrics in a Healthy Children article defines self-esteem as “the way in which an individual perceives herself—in other words, her own thoughts and feelings about herself and her ability to achieve in ways that are important to her. This self-esteem is shaped by not only a child’s own perceptions and expectations, but also by the perceptions and expectations of significant people in her life—how she is thought of and treated by parents, teachers and friends. The closer her perceived self (how she sees herself) comes to her ideal self (how she would like to be) the higher her self-esteem.”

Peace

13
Jan

Do You Know Why You Did That

Enlightenment The Messenger (shopped) 1-3-16You and Your Mind

(what a pair)

When you are not sure of what is on your mind and exactly what you think, you will not have confidence in what you say and do. Thinking is not a problem for any of us—we all do it—but what we think can be. When you think your mind is telling you what it wants to do with your thoughts. But, unless you make the decision, you cannot be sure the right one has been made.

You should listen to your mind. And if it is not what is best for you, this is when you tell your mind what you are going to do. You rule your mind. It should never be in charge of what you do and say. The mind and the self—the Self is you—should always agree before decisions are made. That is the way it has to be. Any other way will result in disordered thinking and an uncertain outcome. Never, with no exceptions, do or say a thing that will cause you to act in a way that is harmful to you and your best interest.

When left to itself, the mind has no power of its own; it is powered by the world in which it exists. Thinking is what feeds the mind and tells it what to do and your thoughts are what you think. At which time you, or you and your mind decide what actions to take. How you act is how others know you for they cannot know what you are thinking. No one, not a Psychiatrist, Psychologist or any “wise one” can read your mind. Though many do not subscribe to the following truth it is true nonetheless: We are known and judged, yes judged, by our behavior and how we act. You cannot act before you think and once you do what you have done, it cannot be taken back. Think as long as it takes and if for whatever reason you feel rushed, do not make a decision until you have the time to understand your thoughts. You must think as long as you need to make the best decision for you.

You have friends, neighbors, people you work with, and too many times relatives who act in a way you prefer they did not. But for good or bad, better or worse, you but in a few such times, do not control what they do. Each one of us is solely responsible for the things we do, or not. Of course there are some who try to take matters into their own hands. They use various ways and means to influence the behavior of others and there are times it may seem to work; however, unless it is what they wanted to do, you can never know for sure when they will not. You cannot depend on coercion to have your way with others. It is a mind thing.

The mind is meant to explore the possibilities, to wonder, to create, and to consider what is and what can be. There is no limit where the mind will go, so there are times when you have to call it back. Perceptions are formed in the mind for us to have thoughts to think. Our thoughts are based on what we receive. And it is all recorded by the brain. The memory is no more or less good or bad than the “trigger” to turn it on. You will remember if there is reason to do so. Memory has not shown that there is a ranking for its use as thought has. There is no order of recall. It all comes to us by direct thought.

Our senses will call on our memories when we have a need to know. Of course, we have no memory of things we have not been aware of, yet. Our mind is where we think our thoughts and it suggests to us what to do. We have the choice to overrule the mind if need be.

The mind is the master of thought. And we are the master of the mind. Once we are aware, we have a thought. The power of the brain is what guides our lives. It is the first organ to grow from the seed of life. Encased by the skull bone it is the most protected. It is the command post for all of our actions. What we fail to realize, at times, is that it provides us with all we need to do our own thinking.

You have to listen to learn and learn to listen. Are you listening now.

The Messenger

8
Jan

Start Listening To What You Read And Hear

Our brains have the same makeup, but different—as we are—in what it can do for us. Our thoughts are one of them. There is no restriction on the thoughts that we think. There is a limit on the thoughts that we have. It is not the same for any of us. It depends on what you have in your world to think about. You will not have a thought about a thing you do not know a thing about. There are no equal rights of thought. We do have the sole privilege to think the thoughts that we have. And that is with no known limit. Now, of course, we are not all an Einstein.

The world we live in is the thing that determines our thoughts. Our thoughts come to life based on how we perceive what we see, hear and feel. We are taught how to think no matter the genes we may have been gifted with. We do not teach ourselves. We learn from the many teachers in our life. Some of them are not good thinkers—unfortunately—and are just passing on what they were taught. This way of thinking flows from one generation to the next. It is much a part of what we have to live with. Whether we choose peace or war, love or hate, empathy or indifference, it is how we think. Well, whatever is handed down to us we then try it on our own. As we grow and develop, we decide what to think. Even so, what we think will be influenced by what we were taught in our formative years.

If you want different thoughts to think, you have to open your world to more things. You have to meet more, or different people, go to places you have not been and do things you have not tried. If you hold back, you will continue to think what you have always thought and do what you have always done. Even our imagination has its roots in what we know. It cannot run away with you on its own. The dreams that we have are no different; though, you may find it difficult to believe with the dreams that you have.

There are many things that someone can do for you but thinking is not one of them. Though people we know, some we just met and even a few we have not, will try. For them to do so, they would first have to know your thoughts. There are some things that we have, which belongs to no one but us. They are our thoughts. And we cannot have a thought about things we do not know to exist. We think based on knowing. There is no limit, but not all thinking is the same.

When I say to think a thought, what I mean is, thought and thinking are not always the same. A thought is just a thought until you think it. Think of a thought as being inert, not doing a thing from when you have it, until you think of what you want to do with it. The time between the two is so short, there is no way to measure. Another thing, when someone says, I know what is on your mind, well, of course, they do not.

We are yet to know when someone has a thought or what they are thinking. And there is good reason we do not. We know them by what they say and do. We were not given the ability to read minds. If you are wondering why not, just think if you knew what is on the minds of the people you know and lack wise, they could read your thoughts. The things we would do to each other are unimaginable. It cannot be possible if we are to continue to exist as we are or at all.

Thought is not only what you had. It is also, what you have. You thought and you have a thought. A thought cannot be forced. To try to do so is called thinking. Once we have a thought, we think it or it moves to our memory. It will not be undone. It is the same as it is with life. The life we have lived cannot be changed. What exist to us is all we know. And we decide what we are going to do with it. Think about this.

Say you are walking down a long and winding road and along the way, you meet me. You will have a thought based on your perception of me and others “like” me. This is the first thing that will happen. You will then think about us. If you like what you see, you may proceed; though, with caution. If you do not feel safe, you may go in another direction. Or you may not have strong feelings either way. No matter how you feel, your feelings will be based on what you think. And you will act according to how you feel.

We perceive, have a thought, we think, we feel we act. That is the course of an action process as my thinking tells me.

 

11
Jun

Start Reading and Listening to What You Hear

Our brains have the same makeup, but different—as we are—in what it can do for us. Our thoughts are one of them. There is no restriction on the thoughts that we think. There is a limit on the thoughts that we have. It is not the same for any of us. It depends on what you have in your world to think about. You will not have a thought about a thing you do not know a thing about. There are no equal rights of thought. We do have the sole privilege to think the thoughts that we have. And that is with no known limit. Now, of course, we are not all an Einstein.

The world we live in is the thing that determines our thoughts. Our thoughts come to life based on how we perceive what we see, hear and feel. We are taught how to think no matter the genes we may have been gifted with. We do not teach ourselves. We learn from the many teachers in our life. Some of them are not good thinkers—unfortunately—and are just passing on what they were taught. This way of thinking flows from one generation to the next. It is much a part of what we have to live with. Whether we choose peace or war, love or hate, empathy or indifference, it is how we think.  Well, whatever is handed down to us we then try it on our own. As we grow and develop, we decide what to think. Even so, what we think will be influenced by what we were taught in our formative years.

If you want different thoughts to think, you have to open your world to more things. You have to meet more, or different people, go to places you have not been and do things you have not tried. If you hold back, you will continue to think what you have always thought and do what you have always done. Even our imagination has its roots in what we know. It cannot run away with you on its own. The dreams that we have are no different; though, you may find it hard to believe with the dreams that you have.

There are many things that someone can do for you but thinking is not one of them. Though people we know, some we just met and even a few we have not, will try. For them to do so, they would first have to know your thoughts. There are some things that we have, which belongs to no one but us. They are our thoughts. And we cannot have a thought about things we do not know to exist. We think based on knowing. There is no limit, but not all thinking is the same.

When I say to think a thought, what I mean is, thought and thinking are not always the same. A thought is just a thought until you think it. Think of a thought as being inert, not doing a thing from when you have it, until you think of what you want to do with it. The time between the two is so short, there is no way to measure. Another thing, when someone says, I know what is on your mind, well, of course, they do not. We are yet to know when someone has a thought or what they are thinking. And there is good reason we do not. We know them by what they say and do. We were not given the ability to read minds. If you are wondering why not, just think if you knew what is on the minds of the people you know and lack wise, they could read your thoughts. The things we would do to each other are unimaginable. It cannot be possible if we are to continue to exist as we are or at all.

Thought is not only what you had. It is also, what you have. You thought and you have a thought. A thought cannot be forced. To try to do so is called thinking. Once we have a thought, we think it or it moves to our memory. It will not be undone. It is the same as it is with life. The life we have lived cannot be changed. What exist to us is all we know. And we decide what we are going to do with it. Think about this.

Say you are walking down a long and winding road and along the way, you meet me. You will have a thought based on your perception of me and others “like” me. This is the first thing that will happen. You will then think about us. If you like what you see, you may proceed; though, with caution. If you do not feel safe, you may go in another direction. Or you may not have strong feelings either way. No matter how you feel, your feelings will be based on what you think. And you will act according to how you feel. We perceive, have a thought, we think, we feel we act. That is the course of an action process, as I believe it to be.

18
Jan

Start Reading and Listening to What You Hear

Our brains have the same makeup, but different—as we are—in what it can do for us. Our thoughts are one of them. There is no restriction on the thoughts that we think. There is a limit on the thoughts that we have. It is not the same for any of us. It depends on what you have in your world to think about. You will not have a thought about a thing you do not know a thing about. There are no equal rights of thought. We do have the sole privilege to think the thoughts that we have. And that is with no known limit. Now, of course, we are not all an Einstein.

The world we live in is the thing that determines our thoughts. Our thoughts come to life based on how we perceive what we see, hear and feel. We are taught how to think no matter the genes we may have been gifted with. We do not teach ourselves. We learn from the many teachers in our life. Some of them are not good thinkers—unfortunately—and are just passing on what they were taught. This way of thinking flows from one generation to the next. It is much a part of what we have to live with. Whether we choose peace or war, love or hate, empathy or indifference, it is how we think.  Well, whatever is handed down to us we then try it on our own. As we grow and develop, we decide what to think. Even so, what we think will be influenced by what we were taught in our formative years.

If you want different thoughts to think, you have to open your world to more things. You have to meet more, or different people, go to places you have not been and do things you have not tried. If you hold back, you will continue to think what you have always thought and do what you have always done. Even our imagination has its roots in what we know. It cannot run away with you on its own. The dreams that we have are no different; though, you may find it hard to believe with the dreams that you have.

There are many things that someone can do for you but thinking is not one of them. Though people we know, some we just met and even a few we have not, will try. For them to do so, they would first have to know your thoughts. There are some things that we have, which belongs to no one but us. They are our thoughts. And we cannot have a thought about things we do not know to exist. We think based on knowing. There is no limit, but not all thinking is the same.

When I say to think a thought, what I mean is, thought and thinking are not always the same. A thought is just a thought until you think it. Think of a thought as being inert, not doing a thing from when you have it, until you think of what you want to do with it. The time between the two is so short, there is no way to measure. Another thing, when someone says, I know what is on your mind, well, of course, they do not. We are yet to know when someone has a thought or what they are thinking. And there is good reason we do not. We know them by what they say and do. We were not given the ability to read minds. If you are wondering why not, just think if you knew what is on the minds of the people you know and lack wise, they could read your thoughts. The things we would do to each other are unimaginable. It cannot be possible if we are to continue to exist as we are or at all.

Thought is not only what you had. It is also, what you have. You thought and you have a thought. A thought cannot be forced. To try to do so is called thinking. Once we have a thought, we think it or it moves to our memory. It will not be undone. It is the same as it is with life. The life we have lived cannot be changed. What exist to us is all we know. And we decide what we are going to do with it. Think about this.

Say you are walking down a long and winding road and along the way, you meet me. You will have a thought based on your perception of me and others “like” me. This is the first thing that will happen. You will then think about us. If you like what you see, you may proceed; though, with caution. If you do not feel safe, you may go in another direction. Or you may not have strong feelings either way. No matter how you feel, your feelings will be based on what you think. And you will act according to how you feel. We perceive, have a thought, we think, we feel we act. That is the course of an action process, as I believe it to be.

16
Jan

I Will See You There

16
Jan

Without Thought There is No Need For a Mind

I Am

 

Think For You

 

More to Think About

You may be about ready to ask, “What’s with all this thought and thinking.” Well, what could be more important to our sense of Self and well-being. Our thoughts, and how we think them, are what determines what we do and say. What we want from our lives depends on it.  They are our own and the only thing we have that cannot be taken from us.

Thoughts will come and go but they do not go away. You will not undo a thought. Once we have a thought we think it or it lives on as just a thought. There is not a thing that a thought will reverse to. Though, our perception of which our thought is based on might change. This in turn could change what we think. You can, have the thought again. But not think about in the same way. If it connects with things in our life, it will move forward.

We must know the existence of a thing to have a thought about it. When we do know but do not remember, we know no less. A new thought will remind us if there is a need. We will not know how much we know until we know more than we know now. We do not use what we know as we get it. We use it after we know it. That is how and why it is knowledge. Know what you think you know. Know what you do not.

Life is made up of decisions that you and I must make. There are times, when we have to decide on what we do not know. If you do not know what is around the corner, you may decide not to go.

Our thoughts can lift us up or hold us down. Depends on what we do with them. We have no power greater than to think our thoughts. If we did not a thing would happen. Not even life, for long. Thinking is fuel for the mind. How great it is to use. Just by its nature, we tend to spend more time thinking a negative thought. It can cause us to image the worst and we can dwell on it to no end. If it does leave, it will keep coming back.  When at the same time, we will think a positive thought and move on. A positive is soothing and “easier to swallow” than a negative.

It is not always what we think of ourselves that bother us the most. Much too often, it is what we think, others think about us. When we do, we are thinking a thought of a thing only they can know. That should not be the cause of your discomfort. We should let no one influence our thoughts to make us feel bad. They would not approach us with this in mind if they did not think they could.

How we act is what will lead others to believe what they do about us. It is how we are thought of when they think of us. How else can they know who we are. When you change how you think, if that is what you need to do, you change what is thought of you. To change my thoughts about me, I must change how I think about me. To do this, one must change their mind. Painful thoughts cause us to think in a way that does not serve us well.

When we have painful thoughts, there is a cause. This kind of thinking shows in how we act. You can come to depend on it. Then think that it is normal. Of course, it is not. We should not think our thoughts this way. When we are not sure of our thinking, we know that things are not right. All we need to do is tell ourselves that we know. Do you see you in what I say. If you do not, then it is about me, or a person you might know. There is one thing that we owe nature. That is to be the best that we can be. If we do this, our lives will be the same.

Yes, it does hurt to think the wrong thoughts. What we think should not be the cause of pain. Knowledge will do no harm. How we think about what we think we know can. We can be perfect in things that we do. We will not be perfect in how we think. There is but one who is a perfect thinker. It is not you or me. It does not help to pretend that we do not know what we know. No one can hide from the truth.

We will not learn if we are afraid to know. I cannot hide from what I know about me. You cannot hide from what you know about you. Once you know you cannot close your mind to what you see. In the absence of damage, the brain does not “un” know. Knowledge builds it does not leave. We should use what we know to know more, not to try to forget. The mind is not next door. There is not a thing to fear, there is no bad knowledge. There is no doubt, though, that you can know some bad things. Not a thing that you know is so bad you cannot think about it. If you know, you have. If we feel bad about our past, it is how we think of our past. And we all have one. What will you do to change how you think?

When how we think is not in order, there is not a thing that we do that will be in order.

When our thoughts are not clear, how we think will be disordered. It will not allow us to be the best that we can at what we say and do. One of the most difficult tasks in life is to control the way we think. That is the reason why we have to know, how to think. Do not let how you think be based on thoughts you are not sure of.

If our thoughts are not certain, not a thing can be certain. And you will not have confidence in what you do. Thoughts like this we should not let take up room in our mind. It will cause mixed feelings. Then we will do things that we cannot predict. Do not let these kinds of thoughts take hold. It will leave you with a conflicting view of what is real. It is critical that we see our thoughts for what they are. If not, without fail, each time we begin to shine, our thoughts will cause us to act in a way to dim our glow. It is in a way, a form of Self, sabotage.

Do not let a disordered mind tell you what to do, yours or anyone else. If you do, you will not think in a rational way. For me, I would build things up and then I would tear them down. This is the way I would think my thoughts. It seems I would do this without fail. It was a pattern that did not change. That is, until I changed. Many years would come and go before I woke up to what I was doing. I had to change my way of thinking. When we do not think right, what we do will not be right. All wrong things come with a price. This is so even when we do not know the cost. What I do know, is no one wants to stand close to the flame. Even I found it hard to live with what was going on in me.

No one came up to me to say they did not want to be scorched. But my sense is that some who would rather come near me would not for fear of being upset. When we change how we think, how others treat us will change as well. When how you think is out of control and causing harm, you are the last one to know. We are not soon to realize it. When things are not right, we look at all of the other places, first, for an answer. One thing that is for sure though, we will not harm ourselves with full knowledge of what we are doing. It goes against the first law of nature. That is growth and survival. And to grow you must be strong.

A good principle to live by is to do no harm.

Once we know better, we will do better. Have you ever heard someone say, “he/she knows better than that.” No matter what we may think, when a person knows better they will do better. You and I may think they should know, but that does not mean they do. If they did, they would. You  cannot do wrong when you know better.

We look out with our eyes, and look in with our mind. What I see with my eyes is you. It is not unusual when there is a problem for us to look at “them” and not at us. It is a form of Self, protection gone awry. I will not let myself see me. That is the reason it is hard for us to know how we think is out of control. We are not listening to our own Self. This is when we are letting the mind tell us to do what we should not. It is a step at a time process to change.

I cannot say it enough, how we act is what others use to judge us, and it is the face that we show the world. Our thoughts and feelings are not meant to be seen. They are revealed by the way we act. It is by this that we are known. We relate to others by what they do, not what they feel. What is in our hearts and minds cannot be known. And whether we accept it or not, no one is obligated to understand us.

There is someone here, though it may not be you.

When how we think and act is the result of the pain we feel, we must trace our pain to where it leads. That would be our childhood. Our childhood is real and the affect that it has on us—good or bad— is real. We must look back one last time. First, though, we have to let down our defense, drop our guard, maybe, for the first time. That our view may be clouded by time and the hurt that we felt does not change a thing. We were a child in an adult world. It does not matter; it is the thoughts of our childhood that hurts. If it is not you, it is someone you know, whether you know it or not.

If the trip it is difficult to take, try being me and I will be you. It will help you understand how the millions who suffer here, and around the world may feel. How they act is a way to learn about us. When we change how we think, it can be done. Yes, many of us have been hurt. Our pain has its roots in and grows from a life being interfered with. We have to go back to this point. It is where our path to a right way of thinking begins.

Is it the way we remember it to be? Some things we can change, others we have to change how we think about them. The past will never be changed. Memories of days since passed should not be our guide. This is for a good reason. What we can recall about the past can change. Then our memories are more false than not. They tell us what was, not what is or what is going to be. You can go to the past when you want, just remember to leave. There is no room there. All the things there have been. The past is filled. It is not meant for us to spend more time there than in the present.

If we suffer, and there is not just one way, we do not know why. If we knew why, we would not suffer. The why is, we tell ourselves that we are not worthy. We think that we are not good enough; that we do not deserve to be ourselves and be happy. Do not say that in any form. If you do, know that it is not true. The Self does not want to hear it. When we hurt ourselves, there is a memory that has hurt us. When love is not there, the place where it should be will not be left empty. Hurt will fill its place.

The drive to survive is born with us. It is the first law of nature. Do not do harm to what has been given. This will cause grief and will harm others in our life, as well. Most of the problems in our lives today are caused by how we think. Not how others think. We bring them on ourselves. Many times, it is when we think we know the thoughts of others as well as we know our own.

You can look but not see and hear but not listen.

You have to be ready to learn. You must learn how to listen and listen to learn. You have to listen to what you read. Listen to what is said to you and listen to your Self. When we are born, we do not know how to listen. It is an acquired skill. You first hear, and then you listen. When you listen, you feel the sound of your thoughts. If you want to think what you read, you have to listen to what you read.

To hear is not to listen. It is not the same. It takes no effort to hear. This is if you want to or not. To hear is one of the senses. It is there by nature and has no on and off switch. The senses let us live and are the means to be in touch with our world. They make life worth living. They are tools of nature. To listen is not a sense it is a skill. If you want to listen, it must be what you want to do.

You must have a deep sense of purpose and a strong drive to learn. Not just, hear what is said or to read. When we listen, it has our attention. Our minds are closed but to this. When we focus on what we hear to where our mind takes over, we are listening. In so many ways, it is much like meditation. What we listen to can be calming when we feel it. You have to want to learn to listen. Until you do, you will just hear.

Our lives are shaped by how well we know how to listen. Just because you can hear does not mean you are going to listen. We hear with our ears, but we listen with our mind. The words begin to sink in. It is then that you are focused. You are there. And will see what we really mean when we say the things that we do.

You can look but not see and hear but not listen.

There is a time to listen. There is a time to think. There is a time to talk. Listen, think, and then talk, to know when it is your time is what determines the outcome. These are the things we must know for knowledge to flow. It is the way to have given and take. All will have a chance to express their thoughts. It works best when one talks and one listens. The key is to know when it is your turn. When you listen, you do that, not a thing more. We do this when our mind tells us to. This is how you think what is being said.

You cannot be sure of what you have heard if you have not listened. As a result, what you say may not be what you mean. You can talk and hear at the same time but you will not be listening. If you try, it would be like trying to think two thoughts at the same time. Neither one can be done. Our mind moves to what we are thinking of. There is no dual track for how we think. And a thought will not divide. It is just as two words cannot be said at the same time.

Though our life is always on one track—it does not mean we have to have a one-track mind. The mind is meant to explore the possibilities, to wonder, to create, and to consider what is and what can be. There is no limit where the mind will go, so there are times when we have to call it back.

When you say what needs to be heard, someone will listen. You should not say a thing until you say it to yourself. No matter what you say, you should make sure to say what you know. There is a lesson in all the things we say and do.

The Messenger Sun Graffiti 2-21-16

 

15
Jan

When Your Mind is Hurting and You Do Not Know What to Do

A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Lose

Confusion

Pain Does Not Cause Pain How You Think and Act Does

Your husband or wife does not cause your pain. Neither your employer nor your friends are the cause of the pain that you feel. The pain that you feel is caused by no one other than you. It does not matter from where it came; you allow it to do what it does. It is not the job, the neighbor or anyone else or thing. The source of the pain is your thinking.

Stressful experiences in early childhood can have long-lasting impacts on kids’ health that persist well beyond the resolution of the situation. My entire childhood and much of my adult life, no matter the bright spots, was filled with pain. I could not be me for any length of time. My mind would not let me. What was wrong had to be made right and what was wrong was in me. I had known from when I was a small child—three or four, maybe—that my thoughts and how I would think them was adding to my pain. My heart would ache and my soul would scream, why me. These were times when little was known about why we do the things that we do. We now know more about emotional trauma and abuse in childhood and its effect on the mind, this is good.

What is not so good is that those who know do not know what they should. It seems that what no one wants to admit, and we (society) will not own up to, is what we are doing to us. I ask myself, what is the end game. Does anyone know? A childhood of pain and hurt can only lead to one thing, a life of the same. That is, if you do not listen to what you hear. And it is difficult to do that when you are still clinging on to debris from your childhood. A cluttered mind leaves no place for good things to go. You let pain you did not cause, cause you to suffer from pain you did cause.  When how you think and act is the result of the pain you feel, you must trace your pain to where it leads. That would be your childhood.

Your childhood is real and the affect that it has on you—good or bad— is real, as well. You must look back one last time. First, though, you have to let down your defense, drop your guard, maybe, for the first time. If the trip is difficult to take, try being me and I will be you. To see life the way that I saw it—even though not through my eyes—will help you to understand how the millions who suffer here, and around the world may feel. How they act is a way to learn about you. When you change how you think, it can be done. Yes, many of us have been hurt. Your pain has its roots in and grows from a life being interfered with. You have to go back to this point. It is where your path to a right way of thinking begins.

It is the thoughts of your childhood that hurts. If it is not you who you see when you look, you are likely to recognize someone you know and possibly love. Or someone you just care about. Maybe it is someone you have empathy for, never knowing why they act the way they do. There is someone you know here—whether you knew it or not. Now you will know and have a better understanding of them and yourself. It is a matter of self-awareness, which simply means feeling good about yourself. Knowing who you are and being the real you; the person you were meant to be. That goes for all of us, you, them and me. It is a journey that begins with the first step, and the first step always begins in early childhood where the basis of your personality and sensitivities are formed. What comes next is the product of your environment. It is there in your mental and physical environment where your thoughts are formed by way of the senses and are molded in the image of the messages we receive through awareness and perception.

My self-esteem, which most of the time ran low, caused me not to do my best. It was not that I could not be my best. I just would not let myself do it. I was weak though I acted strong, and that is not pretty and fools no one. It is not likely that we can have a productive life without a heavy dose of self-esteem. We all need it. It is being Self-aware and it will not leave you, it is with you for life. It is how a child develops a healthy sense of self-worth; that I am “somebody.” This does not always happen when it should. What has the most negative impact on our lives is when it does not develop at all. You need it to live an emotionally mature life. It is not likely that you can have a productive life without a heavy dose of self-esteem. We all need it. If this does not happen in early childhood, it will cause you to think, feel and act in ways you would rather not. Life will be difficult, at best. It can take years, if ever, to gain what you never had, but always needed.

That your view may be clouded by time and the hurt that you felt does not change a thing. You were a child in an adult world. You must first be aware of something before you can have thoughts about it, and your thoughts are based on perception. Life is understood and lived through your senses, and for each sense that is lost, there is a reduction in the ability to perceive and interact with the world around you.

We allow ourselves to be reminded of things long past that serve no useful purpose in our life today. A memory from your childhood can be one of them. The best place for a child to grow up is a place that nurtures and cares. It is there where childhoods grow. As well as being nurtured, we are born to this world to nurture. We are born with an instinct to live. It is in our nature though it does not always show.

The American Academy of Pediatrics in a Healthy Children article defines self-esteem as “the way in which an individual perceives herself—in other words, her own thoughts and feelings about herself and her ability to achieve in ways that are important to her. This self-esteem is shaped by not only a child’s own perceptions and expectations, but also by the perceptions and expectations of significant people in her life—how she is thought of and treated by parents, teachers and friends. The closer her perceived self (how she sees herself) comes to her ideal self (how she would like to be) the higher her self-esteem.”

27
Feb

What’s That Sound That I Hear

A Bitter Pill to Swallow

A Bitter Pill to Swallow

When Hearing is Not Enough

Just as you can look but not see, you can hear and not listen. You first hear, and then you listen. When you listen, you feel the sound of your thoughts and know precisely what is said. Nothing will be filtered by emotion. To hear is not to listen. It is not the same. It takes no effort to hear. This is if you want to or not. To hear is one of the senses. It is there by nature and has no on and off switch. When you focus on what you hear, you will listen. You are early home from work, what is that sound coming from your bedroom. What you hear is someone being hurt, but then you start to listen and it is then that you realize it is not pain that you hear. It is your wife getting thrilled by another man. You surely did not want to hear those sounds though you would not have known if you had not cracked the door to listen.

Hearing is the ability to perceive sound with our ears. I will not spell out the entire process, but the ears do this by detecting vibrations. When an object makes a noise, it sends vibrations (better known as sound waves) speeding through the air. Sound may be heard through solid, liquid, or gaseous matter, as well as anger, fear, happiness and pleasure. There are times when you may hear things even when you rather not. I am leaving you. I have found someone else. The thrill is gone. You are fired. And there are other times when what you want to hear you never do. I love you, yes, yes, yes. You make me feel so good. Please, don’t stop now, I coming, wait for me. You are the best.

The Time is Now

The Time is Now

What you hear can deceive you, just as when you see an object, person or thing and realize upon closer inspection that it is not what you believed it to be. This is never so clear than when a lover, husband or wife says, “I love you” when all along they are making love to someone else. To take it a step further to a place no one wants to be is when a person hears what is not being said. The need to hear what you want to hear cause you to change the meaning of the sound of the words being spoken. We can turn and run, as fast as we can from what is real, but it will not change a thing. If he does not want you anymore, and she is telling you that she has someone else, it will be the same no matter what you allow yourself to hear. The mind is a terrible thing when it works against you.

There are times when someone will say something to you and they do not want you to listen. They only want you to hear, this is so that they can confuse you later when you tell them what they said. What you hear then, is, I did not say that, I did not say it like that or even, that is not what I meant. Our lives are shaped by how well we know how to listen. Just because you can hear does not mean you are going to listen. We hear with our ears, but we listen with our mind. The words begin to sink in. It is then that you are focused. You are there. And you will see what they really mean when they say the things that they do.

There is a time to listen. There is a time to think. There is a time to talk. Listen, think, and then talk, to know when it is your time is what determines the outcome. These are the things you must know for knowledge to flow. It is the best way to have “give and take.” All will have a chance to express their thoughts. It works best when one talks and one listens. The key is to know when it is your turn. When you listen, you do that, not a thing more. We do this when our mind tells us to. This is how you think what is being said. First, though, you have to be where you need be to hear what is being said.

You cannot be sure of what you have heard if you have not listened. As a result, what you say may not be what you mean. Because you did not hear, what you thought you heard. You can talk and hear at the same time but you will not be listening. If you try, it would be like trying to think two thoughts at the same time. Neither one can be done. Our mind moves to what we are thinking of. There is no dual track for how we think. And a thought will not divide. It is just as no two words can be said, and no two objects can occupy, the same space, at the same time.

You have to be ready to learn. You must learn how to listen and listen to learn. You have to listen to what you read, listen to what is said to you, and listen to our Self if you want to learn. When we are born, we do not know how to listen. It is an acquired skill. You must have a deep sense of purpose and a strong drive to learn. Not just hear what is said or what you read. When you listen, what you hear has your undivided attention. In so many ways, it is much like meditation. What we listen to can be calming when we feel it; of course, it can be quite disturbing, it depends on what you have to listen to. You have to want more out of what you hear to listen. Until you do, you will just hear. That certainly could be all you want to do.

I cannot say it too many times, our lives are shaped by how well we know how to listen. Just because you can hear does not mean you are going to listen. We hear with our ears, but we listen with our mind. The words begin to sink in. You are focused. You are there, in the moment. And it is then that you know what the words really mean when we say the things that we do.

You cannot be sure of what you have heard if you have not listened. As a result, what you say may not be what you mean. You can talk and hear at the same time but you will not be listening. If you try, it would be like trying to think two thoughts at the same time. Neither one can be done. Your mind moves to what you are thinking of. There is no dual track for how we think. And a thought will not divide. It is just as two words cannot be said at the same time.

When we say what needs to be heard, someone will listen. You should not say a thing until you say it to yourself. And that is called thinking. When we think, we are having a talk with ourselves. You can do this two ways. You think your thoughts to yourself. That is when you talk to yourself and not say a word. The other, which I have done since I was a child, is to think your thoughts out loud. This is a good way to discuss what is on your mind with yourself when no one else is around.  No matter what you say, you should make sure to say what you know.

Can You Hear Me Now

Can You Hear Me Now

You do not have to say it all, but let whatever you say be the truth. There is a lesson in all the things we say and do. You have to listen to learn and learn to listen. Did you hear me? Are you listening now.

16
Jun

I Have a Secret and I Will Not Tell

Our brains have the same makeup, but different—as we are—in what it can do for us. Our thoughts are one of them. There is no restriction on the thoughts that we think. There is a limit on the thoughts that we have. It is not the same for any of us. It depends on what you have in your world to think about. You will not have a thought about a thing you do not know a thing about. There are no equal rights of thought. We do have the sole privilege to think the thoughts that we have. And that is with no known limit. Now, of course, we are not all an Einstein.

The world we live in is the thing that determines our thoughts. Our thoughts come to life based on how we perceive what we see, hear and feel. We are taught how to think no matter the genes we may have been gifted with. We do not teach ourselves. We learn from the many teachers in our life. Some of them are not good thinkers—unfortunately—and are just passing on what they were taught. This way of thinking flows from one generation to the next. It is much a part of what we have to live with. Whether we choose peace or war, love or hate, empathy or indifference, it is how we think.  Well, whatever is handed down to us we then try it on our own. As we grow and develop, we decide what to think. Even so, what we think will be influenced by what we were taught in our formative years.

If you want different thoughts to think, you have to open your world to more things. You have to meet more, or different people, go to places you have not been and do things you have not tried. If you hold back, you will continue to think what you have always thought and do what you have always done. Even our imagination has its roots in what we know. It cannot run away with you on its own. The dreams that we have are no different; though, you may find it hard to believe with the dreams that you have.

There are many things that someone can do for you but thinking is not one of them. Though people we know, some we just met and even a few we have not, will try. For them to do so, they would first have to know your thoughts. There are some things that we have, which belongs to no one but us. They are our thoughts. And we cannot have a thought about things we do not know to exist. We think based on knowing. There is no limit, but not all thinking is the same.

When I say to think a thought, what I mean is, thought and thinking are not always the same. A thought is just a thought until you think it. Think of a thought as being inert, not doing a thing from when you have it, until you think of what you want to do with it. The time between the two is so short, there is no way to measure. Another thing, when someone says, I know what is on your mind, well, of course, they do not. We are yet to know when someone has a thought or what they are thinking. And there is good reason we do not. We know them by what they say and do. We were not given the ability to read minds. If you are wondering why not, just think if you knew what is on the minds of the people you know and lack wise, they could read your thoughts. The things we would do to each other are unimaginable. It cannot be possible if we are to continue to exist as we are or at all.

Thought is not only what you had. It is also, what you have. You thought and you have a thought. A thought cannot be forced. To try to do so is called thinking. Once we have a thought, we think it or it moves to our memory. It will not be undone. It is the same as it is with life. The life we have lived cannot be changed. What exist to us is all we know. And we decide what we are going to do with it. Think about this.

Say you are walking down a long and winding road and along the way, you meet me. You will have a thought based on your perception of me and others “like” me. This is the first thing that will happen. You will then think about us. If you like what you see, you may proceed; though, with caution. If you do not feel safe, you may go in another direction. Or you may not have strong feelings either way. No matter how you feel, your feelings will be based on what you think. And you will act according to how you feel. We perceive, have a thought, we think, we feel we act. That is the course of an action process, as I believe it to be.

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