I had always heard what a great guy Russell Wilson is, well here is the proof. You must watch and listen, closely, to his commencement speech at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Just for those who may not remember, I live just a few block from campus. Ciara is one blessed woman to have him in her life. Russell Wilson is the real deal.
What the Woman and Girl Must Do for Man
From the time that they rise in the morning to when she lies down for the night a female (woman/girl) has to check and recheck that nothing is showing, smelling or telling. It is hard out here for the female gender. And to add to this, she has to always be alert to the male’s presence and intentions. Why don’t I just run down the list to highlight just how tough it is.
- When wearing a dress or skirt must sit a certain way where men and boys are present
- When wearing pants must make sure there is no “camel toe” showing
- Will usually wear black to avoid the above
- Must do the “sniff test” before leaving home
- No spitting blowing of nose or other natural body functions in the presence of her boyfriend
- To add to the item just above, absolutely no expelling of “wind” from the lower orifice
- Must not admit to having no more than one or two past lovers—if that
- Add to the above; a virgin is expected even at the age of fifty: slight exaggeration
- Must pretend not to be too sexually experienced while at the same time acting as if she is
- And last, but certainly not the least, must grin and bear it
Now I am a man and what I have said comes from observation. And I will admit that what I think I see may not be that way at all. So, if I am wrong and the burden for women and girls is not what I have described, please correct me where I am wrong and feel free to add to the list. There has to be more.
Just Want to Be Normal
When making a presentation about my childhood growing up with low self-esteem and being insecure a member of the audience asked: “what is normal anyway.” And as her voice trailed off, I could hear her say, “there is no such thing as normal.” This is when I gave her my definition, which I had never heard anyone say before. I said to her, “you know when you are not” that is how I define normal.
Growing up there were few places where I did not feel as if I were an outsider. What I wanted to feel most, is normal. Just like the other kids, at least, that is what I was telling myself for they appeared to be living a normal life to me. I did not know, then, what I know now. What I was reaching for, was my Self. Instead, what I got was all else but this that I sought. There was a feeling in me that was causing me great pain and I could not move away from it. My mind and soul were shouting look at me I am somebody too.
I was crying out in silence; of course, no one could hear what I was feeling. They could only see what I was doing. It seemed they would only look when there was not one good thing to see. I did do many things right. Though I could not let the right things be and I would find a way to overshadow any good I had done. It did not change, as I grew older. It hurt not to know why.
Others did feel the sting of some of my actions. Even so, the things I would do hurt me the most. I owned them. This I knew. My life would not let me forget. The change did not come easy but came it did. There is a way and I have found it. All I want to do now is share it with those who are still suffering.
I just wanted to be normal. You know when you are not.
This presentation is about labels and what they mean to us. And yes, we all have them. This is clear for most of us. Even so, you will hear it this time in a way you have not heard it before.
Say It Loud I Am Black and I Am Proud
This could just as well be titled The Psychology of Personal Image. When you cover up what is natural with that which is not, your mind has taken charge of how you think, feel and act. You are no longer in charge of yourself. This short video is about Black hair consciousness and could very well be about the cover up by any race or gender.
I understand the love-hate relationship that the Black girl and woman have with their hair. It is not just appearance that is a concern. Their thoughts and how they think about their hair affects their well-being. It also affects how they see themselves among their peers and other women and girls. And one most important aspect of this relationship with their hair, is that Black hair under certain conditions can be very hard to keep up and maintain.
It is no wonder that Black women are seeking a way to feel better about themselves by wearing a weave, but it is not the answer. The Psychology of the relationship must be understood so that which is “thought” to be natural will not be that which is not natural.
This is not a thing wrong with makeup, weaves, extensions or most any “device” if it makes you feel better about yourself. However, when these things become a part of whom you are, there is a problem with how you think.
I am not here to criticize, that is not my role. I do have a responsibility to have my say when I see behavior that way too often, is harmful to those who I care about. And that would be my Black sisters.
The Day That Soul Cried
The day that soul cried, a chilly mist hung over Madison, Wisconsin. Fans of Rhythm and Blues anticipated a thrilling visitor that Sunday night. Singer Otis Redding was scheduled for two shows at the Factory. Three days earlier, Otis had finished recording “Dock of the Bay,” a moody song that would later be his only No. 1 hit on the pop charts.
Otis was accompanied by the Bar-Kays, fresh-faced high school graduates from Memphis. Otis (The Big O) had performed the night before in Cleveland. He, the Bar-Kays, his valet and pilot were flying to Madison in his private twin-engine Beechcraft. They were scheduled to perform at 6:30 and 9 p.m. But they never made it. The plane fell three miles short of the runway and crashed at 3:28 p.m. in the near-freezing waters of Lake Monona. The sole survivor, trumpet-player Ben Cauley, was pulled from the water 17 minutes after stunned witnesses along the eastern shore of Squaw Bay telephoned for help.
On November 8, 1987 members of the Otis Redding Memorial Fund, a Madison, Wisconsin nonprofit corporation, culminated their fund-raising drive with the dedication of a memorial to Otis Redding on the shore of Lake Monona. The memorial consists of three semicircle marble benches, custom carved in Portugal with the initials, O.R. incorporated in the legs, Georgia gray granite marker and a bronze plague. The memorial was temporarily moved to storage to make way for the construction of the Frank Lloyd Wright designed Monona Terrace Convention Center. A re-dedication ceremony was held August 15, 1997 on the Roof Garden of the Convention Center, where the memorial is now located.
James R. Yarbrough
President and Founding Member
Otis Redding Memorial Group
Watch the video and see what I think.
Depression in Children and Teens
What is depression?
Childhood depression is a serious problem. Depression is more than just feeling down or sad. Even when major disappointments and setbacks make people feel sad and angry, the negative feelings usually lessen with time. But when depression lasts for weeks or months and limits a child’s ability to function normally, it is called major depression.
How does it occur?
The exact causes of depression in children and young teens are unclear. It may be triggered by stressful events like problems at school, troubles with other children, loss of a friend, parents’ divorce, or the death of a pet or family member. Children with severe learning disabilities, physical handicaps, or medical problems often develop depression. However, depression can start with no specific cause.
In childhood, both boys and girls are equally at risk. Depression is more serious when it begins before the age of 10 or 11 and is not the result of a specific event. During the teen years, girls are twice as likely as boys to develop depression.
Depression runs in families. If you, or others in your family, have had depression or bipolar disorder then your child is more likely to develop depression.
Some research suggests that depression may be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.
What are the symptoms?
Depression is somewhat different in children and teens than in adults. Adults usually describe feelings of sadness and hopelessness along with fatigue. Depressed children are usually more irritable and moody. They may be defiant. They may shift from sadness or irritability to sudden anger.
Teenagers have to deal with puberty, peers, and developing a sense of self. In all the confusion, it’s easy to miss the signs of teenage depression. Some children and teens don’t know that they are depressed. Instead of talking about how bad they feel, they may act out. You may see this as misbehavior or disobedience.
A child with symptoms of depression:
• Gets irritated often. Little things make him or her lose his or her temper or become tense.
• Your child may have frequent outbursts of shouting or complaining, or acting reckless.
• May start destroying things such as household items or toys.
• Has low self-esteem, saying things like, “I hate myself” or “I’m stupid.”
• Feels restless, bored, or tired most of the time.
• Loses interest in a lot of the things he or she used to like, and wants to be left alone most of the time.
• Forgets lots of things, and has trouble paying attention.
• Staying on task with homework can be a major problem.
• May sleep a lot more or have trouble falling asleep at night.
• Loses his or her appetite, becomes a picky eater, or eats a lot more.
• Becomes extremely sensitive to rejection or failure.
• Your child rejects others, such as refusing affection from parents or pushing friends away.
• Talks about death and suicide, such as saying, “I wish I were dead.”
• Feels guilty for no reason or believes that he or she is just no good.
• Your child may self-injure, such as by biting, hitting, or cutting him or herself.
• Doesn’t care about rewards or consequences of doing or not doing chores or homework.
If your child or teenager often has the symptoms of depression listed above, seek professional help. Do not try to treat these symptoms by yourself. Professional treatment is necessary. Get emergency care if your child or teenager has ideas of suicide or harming others or harming him or herself.
(This was posted here to post to Facebook)
I must confess, I was thinking yesterday (Thursday) was Christmas and the day before was Christmas Eve. This thinking had gone on for several days leading up to today, Christmas. Well, this says more about my life than anything else I could say. I am not connected and that is not a good thing and from this day forward I am going to be changing that.
I have been living a rather reclusive (secluded) lifestyle without much contact with other people; certainly not on a personal level. For the past several years, or more, I have been laying the groundwork for the rest of my life and part of that was to use social media, which was the result of consultation with the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I stayed longer than I had planned for I had no idea what Facebook was all about and that it held a key to my past. There are no words to fully express how fortunate I feel that my path led me here.
Facebook is not human though, so I guess it is time, beginning the new year, that I refocus. It has been a nice ride and I have thoroughly enjoyed my friends’ posts but it is no substitute for real human contact. I have gathered, it seems, hundreds of pictures of many of my school mates, hometown folks, relatives and others I have come to know through the many hours that I have spent on Facebook. Thanks everyone for the good times. My mission has been accomplished. You will see me soon. itishowyouthink.com