Perception and reality must be in balance to see your world as it is. The way that it is and the way that you think it is must be the way that it is. Your Perception is based on people, places and things in your world. Your world is where you and your mind reside.
You have thoughts based on your perception of those people, places and things in your world. You then think your thoughts. Feelings arise from what you think and this is how you will act.
It is how you think and you act the way you think.
A Watched Pot Never Burns
When you do not pay attention things will slip from your grasp. It is so easy to drop what you thought you held securely in the palms of your hands. You realize as it slips away that your thoughts were not where they should have been. Your focus shifted from what is real to images in your mind.
When you do not pay attention all kinds of mistakes will happen. There is nothing more important than what you do now. For if you do not complete this step your next one will be even less so.
A mistake can, and usually does, cause harm. And just think, it only happened because you did not stay focused on what you were doing. You do have thoughts that you are not conscious of and they distract you from what you want to think about and what you are trying to do. You know this. They cause your mind to wander and you do not focus as you should. If you cannot concentrate on the task at hand, it does not hold a priority over other thoughts in your mind
What you do now is what you should focus on, that is—if you want to do it right. You can think about many things, but you can focus on only one at a time. When you try to do more you are setting yourself up to make a mistake. Just as you can see more than one thing at a time you can only focus on one.
Focus on this message to learn and when you learn to listen you will listen to learn. Can you hear me now?
Who is role model material you may ask and you are not alone. Far too many times when this question is asked, especially by Black folk, they are looking at celebrities, athletes and other high-profile people. These high-profile people are only known from a distance and all you know is what you see. And that is certainly not enough. They could go off the rail at any time and the structure of the role model relationship would come tumbling down.
You don’t have to do all of that, the answer is, anyone can be a role model to someone. It is in the eye of the child and yes we are talking about children and role models. There are many young teenagers and adults who are in need of someone—anyone—to look up to as well. A person they would like to model themselves after. And they do seek them out; unfortunately, with disastrous results for some.
These are desperate people and many have tried in various ways to address this emptiness that they feel. Need I say that desperation can and does bring on poor decision-making. But, they just believe that if they only had someone to admire, someone to respect and for way too many, someone to worship they would feel better. The age of a person does not preclude them from needing any of this. If you think you need it, you likely do.
You often hear it said that certain entertainers and athletes do not make good role models because of their behavior—that is not how it works. Neither they nor do we decide if we are the one who will be chosen. Even the worse of the worst has someone who thinks they are worthy of admiration.
The question to follow would naturally be, what can I do about this, what influence do I have if my child is attracted to a less than desirable person to look up to. And the answer is, be a parent to your child. And, of course, the most important question of all is, what kind of parent are you. Are you the kind of person who would set a good example for your child or would he or she be better off looking to others for what is not being offered at home. Do not be missing in action (MIA) and then want to know when things go wrong, what happened.
When I was searching for a role model the only person that I had to look up to was my uncle who passed when I needed him most. I did not have parents that I knew very well and had lived with my aunt and Uncle from when I was a small child; somewhere around two years of age. So it would seem, and it was certainly true, that I badly needed someone to hold on to.
I searched and searched always looking in the wrong places. This one is acting the way I am feeling so he will do. I just needed a male figure to look up to. I looked first at the good and then the not so good. It was not a good place to be.
Noun: role model
- Someone worthy of imitation
“every child needs a role model”
- A person looked to by others as an example to be imitated
The term role model generally means “any person who serves as an example, whose behavior is emulated by others.”
Good Bad or Something Else
Good cannot come from bad, just as a positive cannot come from a negative. Neither can bad come from good or a negative from a positive. Either one can; however, come before or after the other.
We often hear it said, “at least some good came from it.” Take a lemon (a negative outcome) and make lemonade.” But in truth, they merely serve to delude one into accepting defeat or loss. You may even believe these sayings to be inspirational and relief from a not so good outcome. But the good came after the bad, not from it. That doesn’t happen.
Each thing stands on its own. With lemonade, you still have the lemon as your main ingredient and you have to add a great deal of sugar to mask the bitter taste just to drink it. And you know about too much sugar. You would not have separated yourself from the negative outcome and it would be felt no matter what is done to cover it up. It would not be good; though, on the surface, it might seem that way for a while because of the “sweet” taste. Whatever it has become will collapse under its own weight. You cannot make a healthy brew from a negative.
If a bad thing occurs, it will not be made better by good that comes along at a latter time. There is not a thing that can change the bad into good. It is the same when there is a good thing that happens. A bad thing later does not change that good. How you think is the only thing that can change. And, of course, how you think is how you will feel. Most of the not so good things that happen to you are caused by you and it is how you think that does it. How you think is how you will act.
Attack of The Organisms
With all of the things that attack the human mind and body, why do so many humans use their energy to attack each other. All living things are at risk. No one or thing escapes the long reach of the human animal. Progressive humanness is thwarted by regressive thinking and a false sense of advancement.
Say It Loud I Am Black and I Am Proud
This could just as well be titled The Psychology of Personal Image. When you cover up what is natural with that which is not, your mind has taken charge of how you think, feel and act. You are no longer in charge of yourself. This short video is about Black hair consciousness and could very well be about the cover up by any race or gender.
I understand the love-hate relationship that the Black girl and woman have with their hair. It is not just appearance that is a concern. Their thoughts and how they think about their hair affects their well-being. It also affects how they see themselves among their peers and other women and girls. And one most important aspect of this relationship with their hair, is that Black hair under certain conditions can be very hard to keep up and maintain.
It is no wonder that Black women are seeking a way to feel better about themselves by wearing a weave, but it is not the answer. The Psychology of the relationship must be understood so that which is “thought” to be natural will not be that which is not natural.
This is not a thing wrong with makeup, weaves, extensions or most any “device” if it makes you feel better about yourself. However, when these things become a part of whom you are, there is a problem with how you think.
I am not here to criticize, that is not my role. I do have a responsibility to have my say when I see behavior that way too often, is harmful to those who I care about. And that would be my Black sisters.
When you are being you, the person who you really are you will not harm yourself or anyone or thing that you love. Neither can you feel love for someone who hurt or does harm to you. You may not know why, but you will know love. This is a truth that cannot be disputed.
Many who think they know love are just confused by the thought of being or wanting to be, yes, in love. They easily fall prey to its allure. When you are weak, the sound seems strong but the message you hear, if you listen, is not so clear. You hear and see all that your eyes and ears tell you. But what does the mind have to say. The first person to confer with is yourself. What do you say. I say that love can be a wonderful thing when you know what it is.
What is beyond what you think you see, is more important to me. Who is that behind those sweet words and “fancy dress.” Is it just an illusion, smoke and mirrors or perhaps a bit of both and a smidgen of bait and switch. Time will tell and one thing is for sure; that time that it took to know is no more. Though, do not be discouraged for love is always in the air. This you know because a whiff here and there tells you so. It does not linger long for those who seek what love could never offer. Love is not, has not and will never be material in its nature.
You cannot love both someone and something. Love is reserved for the deepest of feelings that require the ability to communicate. It is not love if you are not capable of returning that love by what you do and say. If hurt comes to you from what I do, what I have for you is not love. And what you have for me it is not what it is thought to be. There are many things that love is not, and only one that it is. Love.
I LOVE YOU