It Is How You Think
You Feel and Act How You Think
Life Introduction
LIFE
Why You Feel the Way You Do
You may ask, what could motivate some people to do some of the things they do. What you can do to know the answer is to know it when you see it.
You are the gatekeeper of your mind.
What I say now and what I will be saying is not academic. I simply look at life in a way that many may never have. And I will give you answers to questions that you did not know you ever had. It is how I see the world and life as it was created to be. From the beginning to the end, it is all about life and how we live it.
My words and what I have to say are not fiction—it is about life and our existence. It is not about what we have been told. It is about the way that it is. What is here will help you to know that to see, you must look. You may see you in my words and what I have to say. When you do not, maybe it will be someone you know and love that comes to mind. Or perhaps one of those troubled souls you see act out their hurt in all the wrong places when there seems to be no reason. Now you will know what that reason might be. It is a matter of knowing the real you—the person you see when all else is peeled away. Through growth and enlightenment, we can all change the course of our life if that is what we need or want to do.
This blog discusses how we think, feel, act and why. It is a guide on how to live a better life through our thoughts. It will help you to understand how we all think. And will show that if how you think is disordered, your life will be the same. How we think is the root cause of our negative feelings. The focus is on the Self: your Self, her Self, him Self, and my Self―all of us. I did not always know what I know now. So I will share what I know with those who will listen.
First, you have to listen. The more you listen, the more you will understand what it is that you hear. You will think and feel what you hear if you listen. There will be truths that will cause you to change how you perceive the world around you. This is good. It will challenge the way you think. If it is not a cause to think, what cause could it be? I had to think about myself. And you will have to think about yourself.
For those times when we need to connect with what it means when we say, “that’s life,” this will be a reference. It is a way to look at the true nature of what is and how it came to be. The truth tells all when it is told. It is what we have to depend on. It is about how we view the world that each of us lives in. Our world is not just what is around us. It is also what is in our mind and what goes on in our head. It is for all of us who have thought about why we think the way we do. Change may be a stranger. As you step closer, you may see a friend.
Peace
Attraction or Distraction
“What Distracts You The Most Is Your Mind”
Attraction or Distraction
Attractions or distractions, you be the judge. There are reasons why you let things distract you, even when you do not know why. When you are distracted, it can be good or not good at all. It depends on your thoughts and how you are thinking them. If a thing distracts you when you have good thoughts, it likely is not good. If you are distracted when your thoughts are not good, the distraction could be welcomed and a relief. It is the thinking that you do afterward that makes the difference in what you do next. So, it is not all about distraction. There should be more in our lives that we are attracted to than not. And there are several cautions that will be in your best interest to remember.
When you find a person, place, or even a “thing” attractive to you, it opens a “one-way” channel for your feelings. It is not a distraction—it is an attraction. It is by way of a preference we all have for that which “pulls” us in. We are attracted to people, places, and things that are attractive to us. But what turns me on may not do a thing for you. It is not by us; it is in us.
Attractions lead to desire, and from this point, how you feel and act will decide the outcome. Here is where a misinterpretation of the circumstance is likely to occur. Is it real or the imagination with a heavy dose of fantasy? An image created to take you and your mind for a ride.
the road leads back to you
Since the advent of modern-day marketing, lines have been blurred, and it is difficult for many to know what they are attracted to or not. Is it unfettered attraction, or have you been led to think—by suggestion—what you find attractive. What you think you feel may be the hype and manipulation of the marketing machine. Just as in relationships, what you think you see may not be that at all. When you peel away the veneer, you realize it was just an illusion, a trick to gain your attention. There is truly little that is what it seems to be; do you really know what is in that? You can “read the label” and still not know.
It has all come down to us against them. As has been put forth by the cautionary rule, “Let the buyer beware.” Is this person, place, or thing just another someone or something made up to draw you in to seal the deal? And then it is a wrap. These objects of attraction are like magnets; they draw you in when the wise thing would be to maintain your distance. Some will forgo all the signs to the contrary and plunge headfirst into the swirl of promotions, sales gimmicks, and marketing gadgets. The techniques are not exclusive to business concerns. There are men and women of all levels of society just as adept.
sex appeal
Though we can be attracted to many things, the intense feelings you can have for the opposite sex tugs at your emotions and can play havoc with your mind. You must decide, for no one can do it for you, if the feeling is actionable—or just the result of your life circumstance; loneliness, for example. The answer comes, and you must know it when it does, for it is not always so apparent. And there are those times when the intent is to deceive. Another word for that is a setup. One should know the difference, for it could be a lifesaver. You should take the first step only after an invitation to do so.
Attracted Distracted Disrupted
You are the gatekeeper of your mind, so you must know what to allow in your head.
When you are attracted to the object of your desire, the mind tends to go on a flight of fantasy. And before you know it, you will take off into the unknown if you are not grounded in reality. As is often the case, it may be something/someone you should walk away from rather than venture closer to. Much of this you may already know from firsthand knowledge; if so, treat this as just a reminder.
We base our preferences on how we view our wants and desires. They are subject to change as our mind goes from one thought to another. It depends on what is there to think about and what this does to how you feel. So, this is a consideration you must give before losing yourself in the excitement of this most powerful force of attraction. It draws you in rather than pushes you away. Far too many, to their detriment, are distracted by their attractions.
What distracts some the most is when they think about what they believe others think about them. And, of course, it is how you think. So, then they try a never-ending effort to change things about themselves that cannot or should not be changed. They change how they dress, how they speak, and yes, even their face. In their effort to cover up what they think is a not-so-nicely-shaped nose, cheekbones, eyes, skin tone, or other believed to be flaws. Some apply cosmetics of all kinds to the point where those who know them feel forced to lie and say they look natural and so becoming. It is not a nice thing to do to your friends and loved ones.
MAKEUP IS FINE FOR THE RIGHT REASON
Do it because you want to, not because you think you have to.
on your way out
Remember this, a change in makeup will not change who you are. The Self is your makeup. It is the soul of a person, it is who you are, and it does not change. New makeup is not what you need. An overhaul of how you think is what you need and will take care of any feelings of inadequacy if there are any. It will change how you feel, which will change how you act and view the world around you. Let how you act to be the face that you show the world. You should not depend on your looks to speak for you. Your outer person is only there to complement who you are and not to be the complete representation of you.
Makeup and a getup (outfit) will not keep you up forever: How you think can and will. When how you look does not match your inner Self, it creates pressure. You then must try to act the way you look. The real you can only come out when the outside is inside. How you feel, then, depends on how you look; with time, the looks will change right before your eyes. Try as hard as you might—your looks will not remain the same. They will lose a step to age. No one can march against time. The hands on the “clock” can standstill; the hands of time will not. And the struggle with who you see in the mirror is just as futile.
You fool no one when you try to hide, and there is no cover-up to make up for the difference. It is how you think and how you think, leads the way to what you do next. So to change how you feel about yourself, you have to change how you think about yourself. You have done too much, though, when what you do has you looking like who you are not—even worse—to act the same. We can see you, and so can you when you look.
A race against yourself can never be won
Looking: What A Sight to See
Looking at You
Look But You Better Not Touch
No one is immune to the urge to look, no one.
Some may turn away when you do it, but they like for it to be done and quite thrilled to do it too. Looking is what we do. And when who you are looking at is doing the same to you, why act as if you do not know what to do. A look your way, words they say can be a there you go or an oh no. A flip of the hair, a slight grin will tell you if it is out or in. You give a glance, or two, and you see they are looking back at you. I am not staring, I just like what I see. And how would you know that I am looking at you if you were not doing the same to me?
The sense of sight lets us see what we smell, taste, touch, and the origin of the sounds we hear.
Look Into My Eyes
We see our world through our eyes, thanks to the sense of sight. On the other hand, vision is what you have when your eyes are open or shut.
The senses tell the brain what they smell, taste, touch, hear, and see. Then the brain sends commands to the body. And perceptions are then formed in the mind for us to have thoughts to think. Our thoughts are based on what we receive and are formed in the mind to be recorded by the brain. The mind is where we think our thoughts, and it suggests to us what to do with them. We have the choice to overrule the mind if need be. It is where perception has its roots. The senses are tools for the brain.
Probably most people would agree—I know that I do—sight is the most precious of the five senses. We look out with our eyes and look in with our mind. The human eye is the organ that gives us the sense of sight. It allows us to learn more about the world that we live in than we do with any of the other four senses. We use our eyes in most activities that we do. Many of us fear the loss of sight more than any other disability. And we humans rely on our sense of sight more than many other animals. For example, many animals use their sense of smell much as we use our sight. And for sure, the best way to know that “it” is real is to see it.
Night or day, our eyes, each time we open them, send all they see back to the brain, where a permanent record is kept. It is much the same as a video camera, though there is no erase button. The images of everything we look at and see are sent to our brain for processing and storage. There are people, places, and things we see that we cannot get enough of and others that we do not want ever to see again. Either way, the picture will always be there in your mind. For a good reason, the sense of sight is considered the most complex of the five senses. To do most of the activities we do, we need to see what we are doing. And I am sure that without the ability to see, you would have to touch and smell it to become aroused. There is certainly not a thing wrong with that.
The Odd Couples
Looking is as natural as sex, and arousal does not have to be taught. What we see as beautiful is not as natural, for it is influenced by the “world” that we live in. And yes, it is also about being told what or whom should be attractive to us.
TRANSGENDER
All of the senses can deceive you; even so, sight (what you see) will give you the best signs and signals that “it”—whatever it may be—is the real thing. There is no doubt that you and your mind have to do your work. It is not nice to be fooled, and quite a bit of foolery is going on.
To know what turns us on is best understood if we can see it. But it has come to the point that even seeing is not always believing. With all the cover-ups, pushups, and aides in getting it up, you can hardly trust what your eyes are telling you. And for that matter, what you feel, when you are feeling it.
You hear all the time that men are visual creatures. I am here to tell you that women are as much or more so. It goes something like this: The face, the hair, and the breast (for men), the crotch (for both), the butt (for both), and the legs (for men).
Now that is the way we see it. And you have to savor those things that you like. Because you cannot see, smell, taste, or touch the mind, it is the last thing most of us think about. However, you can tell a great deal about how some/most females think by how they act. And I say female, not a woman because you can distinguish the gender of most animals by their nature and how they act. I observe nature daily, human animals, and other animals as well. I have done this for the past eight years with few exceptions.
Here are other characteristics to notice when observing the women among us. Now ladies, you know it is true, do you not? But if my observations need to be corrected and I have misinterpreted my data, this is where you should correct the error in my analysis. Now men and boys, here is what you do. Watch the movement of her body and look at her from head to toe, and you will see what they consider their best assets. This would be your focus. Pay special attention to how they move and where they place their hands. And remember, it is not so much what they say as much as it is how they say it, and, of course, every move sends some kind of message. At times, it comes from the subconscious, and they are not even aware of it. It is nature, it is natural, and that is how God created us to be.
HEAD GAMES
When a woman or girl knows you have homed in on them, your eyes will have done the heavy lifting even before you speak. The eyes, alone, can draw the object of your affection straight into your head. Once the eyes lock, not a word has to be said. Male or female nature will take its course. It is the connecting of souls and the meeting of minds. Even so, some women will look—on the sly—and see you looking at them and then pretend not to see you. They will turn their heads and try to distract themselves with self-control. They will play with their hair, look at their watch, start fiddling with their phone, or act as if there is a thing of interest elsewhere: They are afraid of their feelings.
We see with our eyes and envision with our mind, and we will feel what comes next. You either act on your feelings or move on and just let it be. The image and what you have been thinking will move further back into your memory, but one thing you cannot do is “unsee” what you have seen. And you cannot “unfeel” the feelings. It will be with you, and so will the feelings. Feelings that are as natural as the air that we breathe. Do not feel guilt from thinking and feeling what you do. Yes, it has been made almost taboo to think and feel some of the things that we do.
But one thing that is for sure is that no one can know what is on your mind. Yet, some out there spend a great deal of time trying to know. Some go so far as to tell you why you did or did not do what you did or did not do. And yes, some, unfortunately, do not trust themselves to be looked at or to look at.
Depending on the relationship, you may not be “allowed” to let your eyes go where they want to go. Whether you are married, single, a relative, or a friend, your eyes are there to do just one thing: see. But, of course, when your eyes move, you have then acted on your feelings. It is, for sure, at this point where you will know if your analysis of what you see is correct.
What you see at a distance may not look the same up close. But fantasy is built on the wings of imagination. And some things are enjoyed best from afar. What you see is what you get, but is it what you want?
The Eyes Are Talking
I would say that it is just human if we were the only ones with a mating ritual. We are not, of course, for the attraction to the opposite sex keeps creation, evolution, and life alive. Without the desire to “mate” and the feeling during and at the climax of intercourse, there would be no sex. The incentive was created in us and almost all living things.
Sex Drive
The most vital drive we have, and its core “mechanism” of survival, is the desire for sex. And the accelerant is what we see and how we feel when we see it. The “original” man would copulate, almost on the spot, for the furtherance of the species.
The drive appears to have been stronger than out of necessity. And, of course, there was no shame. It was much like you see other animals mate today. Whenever aroused, and I am all but sure that it was pretty often, nature would take its course, any time or any place.
By nature, sex is still at the core of the creation of life and is the base of the survival of the species. In the beginning, sex, more likely than not, was the sole reason for wanting to mate. Not so much love and affection. We are now as we were then, attracted first by what we see. And what we see can have a different effect on you than on me. You may find an average “lower weight” person more attractive. For me, I may appreciate the qualities of a larger mate. What you see as pretty, I may not like as much or at all. It is how each of us perceives what we see and want.
They say it is not nice to stare, but who is staring? How would you know? Perhaps it is just a coincidental look or glance; not everyone is on the make. Some have tried, and all have failed to make what is a natural thing to do against the law—to be illegal. The ones who do not care for the natural state of “man” and what we do, say that we should be punished or fined for lingering when we look at the female form. They call it ogling, “reckless eyeballing,” or some such thing. Others have suggested that it is an invasion of a woman’s or girl’s privacy. Do not invite me in if you do not want me to stay, at least for a while. We, female and male alike, usually will not focus long on that, which turns us off or is not appealing to our libidinous taste. Our minds are always on the prowl for at least something to think about. It is what it does. So it could be for almost anything that it is aware of.
You try so hard to be attractive and go to great lengths to make it so. But, then, some of you are offended when it is not the object of your affection or someone you find “attractive” who looks your way. Hold up. This can be man or woman, girl or boy. It’s as if the only eyes that are allowed to see you are only the ones you want. That is not being real, no matter how you look at it. Take the bitter with the sweet, they both can be a treat, and at the right time and place, it could be said quite neat.
We will not bend nature to our will. It is by nature that we can hear, taste, touch, smell, and, yes, see. And what we see can do what no other of the senses can do; bring on the heat. It is a fire that burns within us. It is the warmth by which we live. When the fire dies down, so does desire. But for some, the fire burns brighter and longer than for others. You may say this is all just being an animal. Sure, you are right; that is precisely what you are. We act as if we are so civilized. If you want to know how we are not, observe another animal species, and then you will know.
Smell of The Body Sweet Slippery When Wet
Smell The Sex Sense
The five basic senses are smell, hearing, sight, taste, and touch. They let us live and are the means to be in contact with the world around us. They make life what it is. To have just one of the senses malfunction can be devastating. Without them, we could not survive. And, yes, survival is the reason we have them. You must be in contact with your world to be in touch with your “Self.” We live by our senses. They tell the brain what they have seen, heard, tasted, smelled, and felt. Then the brain sends commands to the body. The senses are tools for the brain and a life-saver for you. They are how we receive outside information for the brain to evaluate and respond.
The Nose Knows
Smell
First up will be smell. Yes, the olfactory of them all. There is some disagreement, though not by me, on which sense is the most developed at birth. It is thought by some that it is the sense of touch. Others, I included, say that it is the sense of smell. It is well-known that newborns know their mothers by their scent; how they smell. It is what no other has, the “scent of a woman,” and they can tell. And let us be frank; there is no wonder why when you consider the path to birth.
There are smells that you just cannot forget, and for me, I do not want to, ever. Though, I would say it is more an aroma that stirs the soul. That tantalizing smell of the female will not be mistaken, no matter how long you may have “been away.” Just with a whiff, you know. It is the most powerful scent to inhale for many of us. This surely was not by mistake. The journey of our creation starts there, and our birth ends there. It was designed to be that way.
Just The Facts
There is a biological reason why the sense of smell is the most developed at birth. It is that we may survive and procreate. And no matter your beliefs, it is as we were created to be. Recent research (http://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/restoring-microbes-infants-born-cesarean-section) has shown that Babies delivered via the birth canal acquire a microbial community (microbiota) that resembles that of their mother’s vagina. Babies born by cesarean section tend to acquire a microbial community that more closely resembles that of their mother’s skin. The microbiota acquired by a newborn are thought to be essential for the development of a healthy immune system and metabolism.
I could go into all the details, but I will summarize to focus on the benefits. Vaginal birth provides protection for the baby that cesarean birth does not, though, as the research shows, exposure to the Mother’s vaginal fluids after birth does provide some of this protection. Now, what does this have to do with the sense of smell?
The baby who travels the length of the Mother’s birth canal indeed would be fully immersed in the smell of the vagina. It is in the vagina where the most contact will occur with the baby’s nose and mouth. The scent cannot but make a lasting impact on the mind and memory. It is as it is meant to be. It would not be otherwise. And neither would we. The male and female are different, and so would be the arousal effect.
Unfortunately, women—mothers or not—are now covering up and trying to rid themselves of the smell that is a part of who they are. The woman has been made to feel ashamed of her body and scent. It is so sad, for we need the human smell to remind us that we are. And we wonder why it seems that the Man and Woman are not as attracted to each other as they once were. It is not the same. Of course, it cannot be overly stressed that needed vaginal and perineum hygiene is a must: For you, me, and others nearby.
There is no denying it. There really should be no wonder or reason to ask why. But there is. Why does it seem that some hidden hand is trying to pull us apart? Whose agenda is it? When we interfere with nature, nature will talk back. And we will not like what nature (She) has to say.
We are born with our senses and for a good reason. It is so that we may live. And we have to provide the stimulation for them to carry out the roles that have been assigned to them. So, when you smell it, taste it, see it, hear it, and feel it, you will know. It is for us then to create, invent and discover those things that awaken and give life to the senses. We must put a name on people, places, and things to know what and who they are when we meet them again. One thing is for sure, though, we have been stimulated by each other, just as we are, from the beginning. The most intimate senses, of course, are the sense of smell and touch. When you feel it, you will believe it. And the sense of smell tells us much about things in our environment, even when we cannot see, hear, taste, or touch them. Though, what we smell does affect our taste and the things we are attracted to or repulsed by. This prompts me to ask, have we covered up our natural smell to the point that man and woman have lost their “natural” attraction to each other?
Smell: How Does It Work
Smell is a very direct sense. To smell something and know what it is, the scent, with the least amount of adulteration, has to make its way to the nose. The sense of smell brings us into harmony with nature and sharpens our awareness of other people, places, and things. It can influence our mood, help us to respond to those we meet, whom we want to be near, and whom we want to see again. Our sense of smell is not as accurate as that of some animals. This is what “they” say. Well, the animals are not dumb at all. They use their sense of smell to find a receptive mate and mating partners. The very same thing we used to do in the beginning. Being civilized now and human, I guess we think it is not needed anymore. You cover up your natural scent with all sorts of perfumes, lotions, and potions.
Certain scents that still smell the same can remind us of past relationships and people we have known. They can stir memories that you may have once thought forgotten. Some scents make a picture come into our minds. Some make us feel relaxed; others make us feel excited. There are still segments of the science community that hold on to the notion, for I believe that is all that it is, that other mammals use a separate set of sensory receptor cells in their nose to receive social and sexual information from members of their own species. I say we do too. It would not seem so to some because we have stepped away from our natural selves. At times, it is hard to tell what is real.
Do Not Be Ashamed To Smell
The social behavior of most animals is controlled by smells and other chemical signals. We are losing our ability to smell nature’s scents. We have invaded our sense organ (the nose) with all kinds of chemical concoctions to make ourselves smell better. And this often suppresses our awareness of what our nose tells us. Many have been taught that there is something shameful about body odor/scent of the body. I do not embrace this teaching. People who use their senses of smell to test things usually say they “sniff” whatever substance they are testing. And there are “sniffers,” or should I say, those who like to sniff.
You hear it said that men are visual creatures, and this may be so, but nature’s smell emanating from the female body drives the average, even less than average, man wild with desire. It makes the heart race and the pulse quicken, and without intervention, the rush will explode and climax to an orgasmic finish, many times in the blink of an eye. Let me set up a scenario that was not at all uncommon in years gone by. There is likely no such need today as things are more easily done. Then, it was all you had in your toolbox, and you had to go there when all else failed.
Back in the teen days, when you have found a place with just enough privacy to be with the girl of your desires, the girl to whom your hormones have led you, is when you pulled out that line used by so many boys. This would usually be in the backseat of a car, a room away from the parents, or just about anywhere that would accommodate two teenage bodies in heat.
The atmosphere would be charged with hormones and adolescent lust of desire, where begging was the norm. You could not ease your way to where you wanted to go because of the one thing that stood in your way, the forever despised girdle. The small girls would even wear them as a defense against the teenage male’s probing mind and body parts. As much as you try, you are getting nowhere further than kissing, rubbing, and hugging, but there was always that last angle to play. At this point, you were in agony and needed to release.
Well, OK, OK, then, just let me smell it. Let me put my finger in it. And surprise, more times than not, this would lead to where you wanted to go all along. Need I say you would delay washing your finger for as long as you could hold out. My point is it is nature. It is in us, not by us but for us. No one taught you this; no one told you. It is just in you as a male. Your nose would take you there. To a man, it is more aroma than smell. It can make you weak in the knees and firm in the joints. It all seems to fade away in the fog of body washes and summers eve.
Mating
When mating first took flight, it was helped by instinct and smell. In this day and time, of course, we try to cover up, as best we can, our natural aroma. Man and woman likely did not look that different from each other, so it would not have been looks or some special getup or hairstyle that fired up the desire for sex. Or romance. Unlike today, man and woman did not have sex face to face, which came to be known as the missionary position. So named because early missionaries advocated the position as “proper” to primitive people, to whom the practice was unknown. I believe this to be legend. Though it would be interesting to know how this really came to be. And as far as I know, no other animal does the do while facing each other.
Yes, we are animals.
Man and woman were covered with hair, for good reason, with just four things of note setting them apart. Those things that made the difference, of course, were the sex organs and the female breast. Just as they make a difference today. It had and has to be this way for the survival of the species. And, of course, without perky and firm breasts, how would a newborn eat? Whether we believe we were created or evolved, we could not be the same. We had to be different to be.
Man and woman were built to accommodate each other for mating. The penis and vagina were not born by accident. Survival and sex (reproduction) are our strongest drives, and they are with us from the start. Some choose to deny it, some run from it, and others rush to embrace it.
Just a little sniff will go a long way. Leave your mark, and men will follow you—that is—if they can smell you. Sex is in our nature as living beings. And so is our scent.
Touch Me Feel Me Know Me
The Sense of Touch
Touch is the first of the five senses to develop in the womb and plays an essential role in our everyday life and even in our existence. While the other four senses (sight, hearing, smell, and taste) are in specific parts of the body—the sense of touch is all over. A nerve, also known as a sensory neuron, comes from every part of the body to carry impulses to the brain or spinal cord concerning the condition of the body. The nerves within the body are like the branches of a tree. They run the length of the body, from the soles of the feet to the top of the scalp and from just below the skin to the inner organs such as the heart, liver, and lungs. They give us information about the things with which our body comes in contact. And Body to Body contact is one of those things.
The skin is the largest organ in the body. The nerve endings in our skin tell us what we feel: what comes in contact with our bodies. The skin is a feeler. It is the organ used by the body for touching. Some areas of the body are more sensitive than others because they have more nerve endings. The body’s most sensitive areas are our hands, lips, face, neck, tongue, fingertips, feet, and the vaginal and groin area. Women tend to have a better sense of touch due to having smaller fingers. All they need to do, in my opinion, is to use them more often, as should men. The body is more sensitive in different areas for a reason. We detect if something is squishy, wet, juicy, smooth, rough, hard, or soft through the sense of touch.
If you are normal, with no hang-ups, it feels good to be touched by those who want to touch you.
If someone touches you and it is not the touch you want or the right time or person, that is different. It can be a very unpleasant feeling and can cause you to react very unpredictably, as you know. It usually does not end well. Or, what is worst, you say nothing to the offender. You must be the master of your world to be in touch with “The Self”: yourself. So, let no one touch you when you wish not to be. The most intimate senses, of course, are the sense of smell and touch. So, when you feel it, you will know it. And who would have ever thought there would come a day when there has to be a national campaign to let people know it is OK, even a good thing, to touch again.
This nonsense, if nothing else, tells us that political correctness has become a caricature. It is making fun of itself.
There are married couples, would you believe, that go for years and never touch each other. Some take it a step further and sleep in separate beds in different rooms. Now that is bad and is not good for any reasonable reason I can come up with. We know some of the best touching goes on under the sheets. Touch, in this scenario, is likely the last sense you use just before you taste it. What about those taste buds on that tongue? You may see it, you may hear it, you may smell it, but when you touch it, you know it is real. Just as with love. “I want a love I can feel; the only kind of love I know is real.”
FEEL THE HEAT
There is nothing more real than the feel of the human body. That is when I know that you are there. To move your hands slowly and circuitously from the crown of the head to the bottom of the feet, taking in the hills, the valleys and sweeping the curves. Reaching and stretching to softly massage the “fat meat.” All the time, the scent beckons you to the honeypot. It is the smell of nature’s pearl. There is no better feel or smell than that of a freshly washed body—not just any body—where there are no cover-ups, fancy displays, and adornments.
Some like it a little sweated up from the start, after exercise, or some other activity when the “funk” is high. But however you like it, you know it is right when all you hear is the silent call of desire—a whisper though no word has been spoken.
The body has a language of its own. It tells you what it feels. The back will arch, the thighs will flex and tense, and the mound of Venus will quiver ever so slightly. And under the hood wishes to be set free.
The body prepares itself for the man and woman as the brain directs the fuel of life to areas that say, I need you now. The juice flows, the tide rises, and the boat floats. All is ready. You move to be received. An ache of desire and a flame of passion blinds the eyes, for we need not see. All comes from a thought, a smell, and the human touch. You are in another world though you have not left the one you are in now. It is a free fall as you pass yourself and leave your heart behind. Touch the taste of the body sweet. And find me where the minds meet.
Touch has a tremendous impact on most animals’ physical and psychological well-being. Our skin containing sensory receptors allows us to identify several distinct types of sensations. Numerous studies of humans and other animals have shown that touch greatly impacts how we develop physically and respond to the world mentally. So, this leads me to talk a little about Sigmund Freud, “the father of sex,” and his theory. This one relates to touch, and I have my own experience from childhood that illustrates his approach. It also has to do with breastfeeding.
And I have just a little to say about what I remember of being aroused for the first time. Though likely, it was not the first, just the first I was old enough to remember. I guess I was about—I don’t know— maybe three.
But first, let’s talk breastfeeding
In the first eight to twelve months of life, a baby is often frustrated by their need to suckle. This can be because the Mother is uncomfortable or even rough with the baby or tries to wean too early. Then the baby may develop an oral-passive character. (Now, remember that this is coming from Freud.) An oral-passive personality tends to be rather dependent on others. As a result, they often retain an interest in “oral gratifications” such as eating, drinking, and smoking. It is as if they were seeking the pleasures they missed in infancy. He may be on to something here.
Touch with YOUR lips no teeth please
When we are between five and eight months old, we begin teething. One satisfying thing to do when you are teething is to bite on something. Your Mother’s nipple, for example, is one of the things you find tempting. If this causes a great deal of upset and precipitates an early weaning, you may develop an oral-aggressive personality. These people retain a life-long desire to bite on things, such as pencils, gum, and other people. They also tend to be verbally aggressive, argumentative, sarcastic, and so on. I do not know about that, but I know about this. Or should I say what I was told. Not by my mother but by a person who seemed to know everything and everybody and was known as the neighborhood’s “head gossiper.” She was an Aunt and lived next door when I was a child.
My aunt told me my mother would come to my home and breastfeed me. She did not say how often. I did not live with my mother or my dad. I lived with my dad’s sister and her husband. And on this one day, while my mother was nursing me, I did the unthinkable. I bit my mother’s nipple off, yes, that’s right, off. I must have been angry. Each time my mother left, I am sure I felt abandoned.
Abandonment is another one of Freud’s theories. Knowing what I know now, I understand. She did not have much to choose from. The road she had traveled and the choices she had made—left her with few options. IT IS HOW YOU THINK. And how you think is how you feel, and how you feel is how you will act.
did I do that
I do not recall any of this, nor do I know that it actually happened. But I could see myself doing what I was told that I did. With a beginning like mine, who would not be upset and sad at the same time. And if breast milk was a staple in my diet, I was likely quite hungry. Young twenties and working in a restaurant with no doubt irregular quitting times, my mother arrived late more times than not, I am sure. If my aunt had not told me about the attack on my mother’s nipple, I would have never known. As my aunt so gleefully told me, I opened wide and chomped down. It appeared to Freud that the infant found its greatest pleasure in sucking, especially at the breast. Though, I have never seen where he addressed nipple mutilation by an infant/toddler, if that is indeed what occurred.
SEX
Before I wind things down on the sense of touch, it would be remiss of me not to say a little something about sex. And as I mentioned, Freud was—if nothing else—the self-anointed sex master. For Freud, the sex drive is the most important motivating force. In fact, for him, everything, all of our actions and thoughts, somehow has its roots in our sexuality. Freud felt it was the primary motivating force not only for adults but for children and even infants. He was not bashful about promoting his theories, and the public in Vienna—where he introduced his ideas—was more than a little shocked. These were not the most enlightened times.
Touch and Orgasm Sigmund Freud’s Way
The capacity for orgasm from a neurological sense is there from birth; this is true. But Freud was talking about more than orgasm. Sexuality meant not only intercourse, but also all pleasurable sensation from the skin. It is clear that babies, children, and, of course, adults enjoy being touched, caressed, kissed, and so on. Freud noted that different parts of our skin give us the greatest pleasure at different times in our lives. Later theorists would call these areas erogenous zones. Now let us move on to my arousal.
MY FIRST MEMORY OF BEING Aroused
I remember my aunt giving my cousin and me baths in a number 3 size washtub. She is a year older than me and always acted much older than her age. At the age of three or maybe four, my body and mind did not know any difference between what I saw and what I was feeling. It was all the same and had no label. The last bath of this kind was when my aunt noticed my aroused state, and the routine came to a sudden stop. As if a warning sign popped up in her head.
It is a shock to your system with no warning or prior notice, much like it would feel turning over in the middle of the night aroused by the onset of desire: And guess what, you reach for your love mate, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, or wife and what you expect is not what you get. Instead, the body says, not tonight. I am not in the mood.
I cannot say that I understood what was happening to me. But I did know that I had lost something that felt good. To touch and be touched is universal; there is no equal. It is how our souls truly connect. Without it, where would we be? A lonesome soul is what you would have.
Truth or Consequence The True Choice
Lie or Mistake
We should know what we do to others and ourselves when we do not tell the truth. It is not a mistake to tell a lie; it is wrong. Why can a lie not be a mistake? A lie is an intended act that will cause harm to you and those who consider it true. There is something wrong with how we live our life when we think we have to lie. From the time you become the recipient of a lie, you are captive of its cruel intentions until the truth sets you free.
A mistake can, and usually does, cause harm, though it is not done on purpose. You cannot knowingly make a mistake. But, if you know that you are not going to do something right, whatever you do is done with intent, is down low, and lives where the lie resides. In many ways, it is worse than telling a lie. For it is not only a lie, but it is also “masquerading” as a good faith effort caused by a mistake.
A lie gives many reasons—when it has to—for its existence, and a lie has to be told to be a lie. Try not to be the one who tells it nor the one it is told to. And no matter how well it is dressed and packaged, it is what it started out to be. A lie’s energy and growth increase each time it is believed. The owner feels pride and a sense of accomplishment when their lie withstands any and all challenges.
Truth Needs Not to Be Whispered
Some who lie after a while, if not found out, start to believe their own lie. They will swear that what they say is not a lie and defend it vigorously when faced with the truth. And yes, even call the truth a lie. You should try never to remain in the presence of anyone you know is not telling you the truth. They have no respect for you, for if they did, they would not lie to you. Lies are told to deceive or to cover for a previous action of irrationality or misbehavior. Ask yourself if you would do the same.
I Swear It’s The Truth
What about being boastful or exaggerating? It would not be considered a lie unless it crossed the line. If you are the one either boasting, exaggerating, or both, you know when that line has been crossed. Maybe you should start with your delivery—inflection—and you will not feel the need to go where you should not. And you would certainly benefit from a dose of self-confidence.
The core of the truth is elastic in the sense that it can be stretched, though only so far. If taken beyond, it will be a lie. Remember, someone always knows the truth. That is, even if it’s just you, who knows, and know this, with secrets, there are no absolutes. Why not tell it. It should be told for all it is worth, and one thing is for sure, a price cannot be put on it. Not all has to be told, but what is told should be the truth. It relieves the load and puts the mind at ease. A lie has no comfort zone. It is always running, ducking, dodging, and trying to hide. And no, a lie cannot be put to rest even after the truth has been told.
And there are few times, if any, that a lie can be justified. Even in those rare occasions where it can, it is because of an action that should not have been taken. You talk and act your way into a circumstance where you have to lie to get out of. It is what you do and say that cause you to “have” to lie. Disordered thinking and bad decision-making will place you in lie territory. Distance yourself from this lapse in judgment and lie no more.
When you live among lies, and you know it, how can you trust anyone.
Always try to tell the truth; life is better for you when you do. Yes, I know, there have been times when you told the truth, and no one believed you. It took a while for you to understand, I am sure. This is when you should remember that you cannot tell the truth to one who lives a lie or is in a delusional state of mind when they think their role as the ” superior” humankind is threatened. They will not know the truth when they see it because their mind will not let them believe it, coming from an “inferior” like you. So, if I lie to you about you, I cannot accept your truth, but I would accept a lie. When all else fails and the lie is no longer accepted by “the just,” power is used to force it back into place. It is a sign of weakness. And that on which the foundation was built will crumble.
When you live a lie, you are lost in your own reality and separated from what is real. The trouble with a lie is that it hides the truth. Though, there will always come a time when the truth will be known, for a lie cannot live forever. Unfortunately, civilizations have allowed themselves to be destroyed by believing their own lie. And we are well on our way.
What is it when you tell a lie but think it is the truth? It means that not telling the truth is a pathological problem for you and is a defense mechanism that you have used to protect yourself from your world. No one up close is being deceived by your words, for they see how you act.
No Greater Pain
The Truth Will Set You Free
You have to face what you are running from—the hurt and pain—and realize that lies keep you from being the person you know you are—the real you. You cannot pass through, go over, or under a lie. You must tell yourself the truth, and only then will you be set free. You must know the company that you keep starting with yourself. A lie is dangerous and conning. No matter how, where, or who tells it. It is not safe nor wise to be where someone is telling it or where your only “way out” is to tell one yourself. You cannot live another person’s lie; you must live your truth.
What is it when you say yes, but you feel no, or stop when you feel go? Is it a lie to say you care: all the time knowing that you do not? Does it hurt more or less to see the truth? The one who tells the lie, does so is to mislead. It can, and often does, create a world of make-believe; it is delusional and, of course, not true. A world such as this is where no one is living the truth, the teller or the told. One of them should know the truth. And when neither one does, the lies have risen to the level of a mental disorder (pathological liar), and the one who now believes what they are being told is not without guilt, for they hide from the truth as well. Though once a lie is told, how can you know what to believe? From the clothes we wear to the products that we buy, much of it is a lie. And a lie will always do damage.
They call it marketing. I call it a lie.
Who are we when we shed our garments and our “face?” It is we. I will not be true in what I do if you are not true in what you do to me. If I think I love you, and you have not told the truth, then my love is a lie. And that is if I know it or not. Yes, you may believe that you are in love, but one thing is certain; you cannot love someone who doesn’t love you. What you are not doing is facing the lie that is masquerading as the truth. A lie will not support the truth. It is a lie—as well—when you will not allow yourself to see what is most times obvious to others. The greatest lie is when you lie to yourself and act as if it is the truth. It is not a mistake. It is a lie.
A Lie is Not a Mistake
You Be The Judge
The conscious part of the mind does not make a mistake. Its roots are in the base of our thoughts. You do not make it on purpose. There is no motive. When and where we make our mistakes is about how we feel. When we feel good about ourselves, mistakes are few. When we take care with what we say and do, there will be no need to say I Am Sorry. I made a mistake. Of course, you do not feel all mistakes the same way. Some are seen while others are not, but the effect is the same. The result was different from what it was meant to be. And none is without harm. It could be a threat to life or just plain embarrassment; either way, no one wants to make or be the cause of something going wrong for what they did not do right.
Both lies and mistakes are acts of thought and are harmful to those who are touched by them. A mistake is no less harmful than a lie. Just as with a lie, it can be the cause of damage. It must be made right, or it will do just that. On the receiving end or the one who made the mistake, you will be harmed in some way. Once touched by either, it is not easy to predict what comes next. Lies and mistakes cause many of the bad things that happen in our lives. Even so, what is right can and does follow. But keep this upmost in your mind, you cannot undo a lie. The damage shall remain maybe only by degrees–there nevertheless.
You do not try to make a mistake. If you did, it would not be a mistake. It would be a thing you did with some thought. When what you do is thought out, it is not a mistake when it goes wrong. It is how you think that is the problem. A thought causes a mistake that you are not aware that you have. It is not a conscious thought. This sets off an action. What you have then is the mistake. It is not one, though, until it is known by someone. At least one person must know that it exists. If not, the mistake can be made again. You do not make a mistake that you know of more than once. If you do, it is not a mistake—it is intentional—It is done on purpose whether you know it, say so, or not.
You have thoughts on their way but have yet to arrive at your level of consciousness. You are not aware of them yet, and they distract you from what you want to think about and what you are trying to do. You know this. They cause your mind to wander, and you do not focus as you should. If you cannot concentrate on the task at hand, it does not hold a priority over other thoughts in your mind. If it is not important to you, it is not a thing you should try. The mind will not engage as it should. This will not let you do it right. You have to focus, but nothing will help if you are not ready and willing. Put another way: if it is not what you want to think about. People, places, and things and how we interact and relate to them is all we have. If any of these is significant to you at any given time, think about that.
What you do now is what you should focus on, that is, if you want to do it right. You can think about many things, but you can focus on only one at a time. When you try to do more, you are setting yourself up to make a mistake. It is misleading to think it is a special skill to do more than one thing at a time. No special skill to multitask. It does not require any special know-how to perform more than one task at a time. It just shares the effort, which takes away from the whole of each. Just as you can see more than one thing at a time, you can only focus on one. That is unless they are more of the same. If not, the diffirence will be the draw.
You can do more than one thing at a time but will not think more than one thought at a time. Try it. Sit two or more things together that are different from each other and try to focus. Your mind will shift from one to the other. Do not shift from this message.
Time for Change Do You Know The Time
Time is Sense-Less
Time does not feel a thing, and it will not answer no matter what you ask of it. It does not hear you and will not speak to you. Time is space, and space is time. All we can do is live and die in both. Because time and space are the same, all that exists do so in this reality wherever it may be. Time and space do not ever change. What “man” has done does. Pardon me, do you have the time; you are late; you have no more time to work; time is up. The time setting is all on us: we are doing this, not time. Time does not care if you are early, late, or never show up. Time is “SENSE-LESS,”it does not feel a thing.
You cannot lend, nor can you borrow time. And your time is the only time you will have. More time will not be given when we have no more. Time, though, is less important than what you do with it. When you think of the time that you have, the first thing you should think of is what you are going to do with it. What is just as important is how you feel while doing it. To get the most from the time you have been given, you must understand what it is and how to use it wisely. The longer it takes to know what to do, the less time you have to do it. Because for sure, you will not get it back.
Time is like the wind you cannot see—we only see what it does. Do we really know what time it is?
If we had the power over the nature of time, what would we do with it? Where would we put it? Would we add a little here, take a little there? For sure, it would be the final step to the end. Wars would be fought over it, it would be stolen, and some would lie, cheat and steal to get more of it. Those with no power would get none.
Your Time Will Not Wait for You
When we do not use our gifts and talents—we all have them—they do not stay at the ready and at their best. Living will not let it be. You must put your assets to their best use. Life moves on when this does not happen, but you will not keep up. To work against what is good for you pokes a finger in the eye of The Creator. We live and grow by the fundamentals of life. To know this is the core of our existence. Time: The gift from God.
Success is when you know that you have given all that you have to give for now.
The right thing done the wrong way will fail. Just as a wrong thing cannot be done right. You can be right, though look as if you are wrong by those who are not right. It does not mean that you are wrong and they are right; they are still wrong. You should let no one turn you away from what you know. You do not have to prove you are right when you are right, just be right. To make a change to what is right will not make a thing that is right better. There are no improvements to make. If it is right, it is not wrong and should be left alone.
You are the one to decide what is right or wrong for you. As we all must do, you must live with what you choose, and so do I. When you have done the right things, it does not mean all the right things are done. When you do it right, you will feel right. You will then know how much better it is than what it was if it was wrong. You cannot be caught doing the right thing. How can you do something wrong when you know how to do it right? You cannot. Take the time to do it right. You do not have the time to do it wrong.
TIME TO THINK BUT BETTER
Your thoughts and how you feel and act will change as you change. There is no better time for change than when it is needed. And the change will happen when you change how you think, which will change how you feel. When you feel better, you will change how you act, and your life will change, as well. Our role in life is shaped by how we act. It is how you will be known to those who think they know you and anyone who enters your world (your environment). It is what others will use to judge you. And to act right, you must think right. Every time.
Some may say it is not all about you. Well, I say it is. When it is about you, it is about us, all of us in some way. We all have the Self as the core of who we are. You get to know your “Self” by being yourself. How great it is to meet your Self for the first time. You should not let you pass you by. Be happy to know who you are. You have this coming to you. When you are unhappy, it shows because you think and feel it.
To change your mind is to change your life. If there is no way to know, there is no need to know. Where there is a need, there is a way. If there is no way, there is no need. The more you get, the less you need. It is nature; it is life. If there is a thing you need to do, you can do it. You only need to tell your Self that you can.
When you do not succeed as you think you should, there is more work for you to do. First, you must change how you think. Perfection in the things we do is a worthwhile goal to have. It is not a bad word. It is a Self, defined state of mind—it is personal. If not to be perfect, what then could be your goal? To go for less would be less than your best. You can be perfect every time. It is in the mind; it is what it is to you.
God created us to decide the scope and reach of our lives. So observe all in your world and do your best to understand what you see. And do with it all that you can. There is much to be gained, no matter where you stand.
You must listen to learn and learn to listen to what your world has to tell you. Do not run from the sound you hear; take the time to listen. To hear is not to listen. It is not the same. It takes no effort to hear, if you want to or not. To hear is one of the senses. It is there by nature and has no on-and-off switch. To listen is not a sense. It is a skill. You must listen if you want to get the most out of what you hear. Are you listening now?
We can never run out of time. Time runs out of us.
You can only get there from here. You will not get there from any other place, for you can be no place other than where you are. You can only get there from here, and you got here from there. You were there in the past. Now you can be there in the future. You can go back there, but only in your mind, and it is not wise to do that for long, or at all, or you can go to there: The future, which will be the present when you get there, it is your choice, which there do you choose. You can only get there from here. You cannot stay here.
You have to believe it to see it. When you see it, you will know.
Persistence & Determination
Not Too Early or Too Late
Persistence is the key to reaching the most worthwhile goals we set for ourselves and what is so great about that is that there is no age limit. You are never too young or too old. Babies and toddlers, teenagers, and young adults to the elderly set goals for themselves, and those goals are reached. Therefore, you cannot be easily discouraged.
What is so great is that it does not matter how successful or not you are; this still applies to you. So, don’t be too quick to dismiss what you hear here. Instead, it would help if you listened to what you read. It is never too late to learn or reinforce what you know.
Those things in life that you want and do not get were likely the next step away, that step that you did not take. Some are reluctant to set lofty goals for fear of failing to reach them. Wth this thinking, they never will. But one thing you must be is realistic. You must know your SELF. And your SELF is you.
No matter the time spent on the task, you are not likely to succeed unless you are keenly aware of your strengths and weaknesses, which is the reason why many fall short. They were aiming for a place beyond their capacity. The solution, as in most thi gs we do, is to prepare for the tasks ahead. You must have the right “tools” to do the job. To prepare yourself for the task, it might mean taking courses at your local campus or online, doing research, or buying and learning to use “actual” tools. Even so, each of our brains has different learning capacities. It should be your mission to reach for that limit. And when you or any of us can say I have arrived, that will be the day.
Persistent Steps
Persistence and Determination
The best way to reach our goals is through a step-by-step process. There are only three different steps you can take to get there. They are the first, next and last. The next step should be as many as you need to take to make your last step. Going backward will only get you there if you then go forward. And going sideways will only keep you on the level you are on now. So, you take the three steps to get to where you are going, a step at a time, until your goal is accomplished. This way, you know how to do it, and it will serve you well to reach your next goal. Or to do a repeat.
Persistence Requires Patience
“When you do not do all the things you should do, what you do will not be enough to do what you want to do.”
You have arrived, and you have reached your goal, but you did not take all of the steps. How could this be possible? There are many ways; let me list a few: (favor, corruption, cheating, family ties, legacy, and so on). Every step not taken leaves a void, and you will not be sure how you got to where you are. And then you try again—no matter your goal or intentions— it is a place where you will falter and could easily stumble and fail. It goes this way when you only know some of what it takes to get the job done.
You can only get there from here. From here your first step is taken be it physical or otherwise . It does not matter your thoughts or how you think them; it can be done no other way. So, “think from where you stand.”
The distance to our goals is less important than the steps we take to get there. How we think our thoughts decide the path we take in our life. You can think in all directions—including in circles and you will remain where you are until you think of the steps that take you to your goal, your objective.
With persistence, each step you take, you are close to the next step, and each step will show you the way, which will take you home to your goal. Each step is a work activity you must do to reach your objective. It is just another piece of the whole. And if you want what you do not have, you first must have what you need to get what you want. It Is How You Think.
If you are older, please pass this on to any young people you know. I worked with the young at one time, and I can say for sure, without reservation, that many of the youth from low-income families were then and are now misguided and unrealistic about how the world works, especially the work world. I worked with both Black and White, and there is a stark difference in the attitudes and not in a positive way. Though these were students, it is this way with many of the adults I had as clients.
I was a recruiter and placement specialist for several years and Director of an Equal Opportunities program and experienced it firsthand. They give up easily, they are not persistent and their expectations are not in line with their attitude and aptitude. I realize this is my experience alone, but I have seen it in more places than one.
Persistence: The key that unlocks the door.
Pain In Your Mind Is Caused By How You Think
Pain the Emotional Kind
What I have to say here may or may not be for you. The way to know for sure is to read it and understand it. It may not be relevant to you in a personal way and how you think and feel, but you may know someone, a friend, a relative, or perhaps a mate who comes to mind when you think about what you see when you see any one of them. So do not be quick to turn away. And no, you cannot feel another’s pain.
” Do not cover up your pain with your words and what you say and do. It will only cause you more pain. You do it to feel better, but you know it does not work—that is not for long. It is a fix, not the solution. The longer you go without resolving what brings on these feelings of despair, the more masking you will try to do. A cover-up of what bothers you returns as the “makeup” comes off. “
No matter how fast you run, you cannot run from the agonizing emotions you stir up all too often in a cauldron of hurt feelings and memories that never were. This brew is sure to bring on the pain. And to be strong and pretend it is not there will not make life easier. For you know, even if no one else does, the pain is still there; it has not gone away. You cannot drink the daily brew and expect to feel better. Emotional hurt and pain is a symptom that not all is well with how you think.
No new boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife will change this. If you want to change how you feel, you must change how you think. You cannot live in the past, so why should you let the past live in you. It is pain that you feel. Do not let your pain be the reason why you act in ways that you rather not. What you do in life caused by your pain will never be the real you, the person you are meant to be. It is how you think.
Your husband or wife, or not having either, does not cause your pain. Neither your employer nor your friends are the cause of the pain that you feel. When all has been said, the pain that you feel is caused by not understanding your childhood and the aftermath that must be left where it belongs, in the past. It does not matter from where it came; you allow it to do what it does to your happiness and well-being. It is not the job, the neighbor, or anyone else or thing. The source of your pain is how you think. It is not you that they see when they look your way. You have hidden the real you under layers of hurt and pain.
You have struggled long to come out. No one knows the real you, for you have not shown your SELF to anyone. You have been afraid to look at you. When will you let the real you show up? There are times when no one is around that you just lose it. It hurt so bad not to be yourself. It aches in your heart. There are times when you need to feel that one person, just one, loves you for who you are. You have been wounded by your hurt. Remember this: I come before you, they, them, we, and us. When I do not come first, life will be disordered until I do.
If you have memories of hurt and pain from your past, it will change when you change how you think. You have to understand this for what it is—how it influences your thoughts. Emotional hurt and pain without a remedy can last a lifetime, but how you think about pain can and should change. If you cannot change what you have to think about, change how you think.
Memories of hurt and pain from the past will change when you change how you think. You have to understand this for what it is and how it influences your thoughts. It cannot be said enough. When how we think and act is the result of the pain we feel, we must trace our pain to where it leads. That would be our childhood: A foundation of family dysfunction and trauma. This kind of beginning guarantees a hard way to go and a struggle, if only in your mind.
”Your childhood is real, and its effect on you is real. You must look back one last time, painful yet necessary. First, you must stop your defensive behavior, which takes work and practice. It is no different, though, from other efforts that require repetition. You must drop your guard and peel back the façade while at the same time keeping your emotions under control. This kind of control is one of the few times self-control has a useful purpose. When your self-esteem and image of yourself are at the level they should be, there will be no need for self-control. You are then “YOU” and can now live your life purposefully.
I wish you peace and happiness, which you so deserve.
LISTEN, THINK AND THEN TALK
Listen to The World—There is Much to Know
You learn to listen and listen to learn to know what your world is telling you. You must listen to what you read, what is said to you and to your “Self.” When we are born, we do not know how. You first hear, and if you want to know what it is that you hear, you must listen. When you do, you feel the sound of your thoughts.
To hear is not to listen. It is not the same. It takes no effort to hear. This is if you want to or not. To hear is one of the senses. It is there by nature and has no on-and-off switch. The senses let us live and are the means to be in touch with our world. They make life worth living. They are tools of nature. If you want to get the most out of what you hear, you must listen.
Listening Skill is Developed
A person must be ready and willing to learn to learn. You have to listen to learn and learn to listen. You have to listen to what you hear, what you read, what is said to you, and to your SELF. When we are born, we do not know how. To know how is not one of the senses it is a skill an acquired skill. When we listen, we feel the sound of our thoughts. So, if you want to think what you read, you must listen to what you read.
You Must Want to Listen to Listen
You must have a deep sense of purpose and a strong drive to learn—not just hear what is said or give a cursory glance at the words you read. When we listen, what we hear has our attention. The mind is closed to all else. You are focused on what you hear to where the mind has taken over. In so many ways, it is much like meditation—calming when we feel it. You must want to learn to listen. Until you do, you will only hear.
Our lives are shaped by how well we know how to listen. Just because you can hear does not mean you are going to do so. We hear with our ears, but we listen with our mind. That is when the words and their meaning have begun to sink in, you are focused. You are there. To see what we mean when we say the things that we do.
What we listen to can—at times—come with feelings of discomfort, but you would not have listened if it had not been what you wanted to know.
You Can Look But Not See and Hear But Not Listen
There is a time to listen. There is a time to think. There is a time to talk. Listen, think, and then speak. Knowing when it is the best time is what determines the outcome. These are the things you must know to have a conversation and dialog. This is the best format to have a bit of give and take where all will have a chance to express their thoughts. No one will feel left out. It works best when one talks and the other stands by. And the key is to know when it is their turn. When you listen, you do that, not a thing more. No such thing as divided listening. You will do so when your mind tells you to.
You cannot be sure of what you have heard if you have not listened. As a result, what you say may not be what you mean. You can talk and hear at the same time, but you will not be listening. If you try, it would be like trying to think two thoughts at the same time. You can do neither one. Our mind moves to what we are thinking. There is no dual track for how we think. And a thought will not divide. It is just as you cannot say two words at the same time.
You Only Go Off Track at The End of The Line
Though our life is always at all times on one track, it does not mean you should have a one-track mind. The mind needs to explore the possibilities, to wander, to create, and to consider what is and what can be. There is no limit to where the mind will go, and as wonderful as this may be, there are times when we have to call it back.
Say what needs to be heard. Someone will hear you. First, you should not say a word until you say it to yourself. Then, no matter what you say, you should always say what you know. There is a lesson in all the things we say and do.
The mind is meant to explore possibilities. In that realm is where you wonder, create, and consider what is thought to be and what can be. There is no limit to where the mind will go, the turns it will take, and the maneuvers it will make, so there are times when you have to call it back. Yes, the mind is the master of thought, no doubt. But we are the master of the mind.
The mind can be just like a misbehaving child.
Peace
THE MESSENGER
James R. Yarbrough
Thought
What Do They Say To You
Snapshot In Time
I SEE YOU
Community
THE BEAT GOES ON
BLACK MAGIC WOMAN
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