Why and when are more significant than what, and why is the reason. To know your own why is to know the only why you can ever know for certain. You know what others tell you, but how can you know for sure if the why they tell you is their why or just a lie. It could be their why, or it could not. There is no way to know if what they are telling you is true. Often it is what you want to believe and has as much to do with your feelings for or about the “teller” as it does with what is being told.
It takes knowledge and understanding of your Self to know your own why. And depending on how you think at any given time, you may have doubts about your own why. For sure, you should never act until there are no doubts in your mind: Not one. When you do not know why it is because of how you think and how you think is disordered and does not serve you well.
Take the time you need to think before you act. Regret should not be the outcome of what you do. You must always know what moved you to act. It would not be possible to justify what you do if you—yourself—do not know why. You should know all that you need to know to understand why you think as you do.
When you say, what you say is more important than what you say. You have to say what you want to say at the time that is right to say it. The right thing said at the wrong time and place will not have the desired effect, and in fact, could be quite damaging to you and your relationship with others. Do not say a word until it is time. As in most things that we do, timing is the key. You must know this before you act or speak. That is unless you are talking to yourself to know what to say to someone else.
The right thing said at the wrong time is worse than not saying anything at all. Words are to convey our thoughts, as we want them to be understood. And what is hard to argue with is that you say and do what you mean. It is not so true when your thinking is disordered.
Knowledge is not good or bad. It is what you do with it that decides what it is worth. And to learn, you have to listen, and you have to listen until you know what is said and, even more so, what it means. You have to listen to learn and learn to listen. When it is your time to talk, you have to listen to yourself to know when you have said enough. You have to know when to hold back. You can and will lose much when you do not know when to stop talking.
Nothing is hard to do. You just do not know how to do it yet.
You should try to say what you will do, not what you will not. This includes saying what you will not do now. You should only say—if you feel you must—what you do not want to do. What you will try your best not to do. Will not is a negative way to think. It comes from a thought of which you cannot be sure. With this way of thinking, you must put forth an effort to hold back. It requires a measure of self-control, which will, inevitably, give way and let you down. It will be when you feel you need it most. And one time is one time too many. When you think your Self needs to be controlled, you are where you should not be doing what you should not be doing. It is not natural nor normal.
The only thing for sure you will not do is a thing that you cannot do. No one knows the future. Minds change people change.
Will is a great word: the word after I, which comes when thinking a positive thought. The third word gives it meaning. I will do, I will not do are examples of what I mean. Will do, is a will to act. It is a kind of freedom that can take you places. I will not, stops you in your tracks. If you do what you say you will do, you have kept a promise, if only to yourself. If you do not, you have broken a promise. And it shows a lack of commitment and fail to follow through. There are very few reasons, if any at all, to break a promise. And the most important promise is to yourself. You must always be true to who you are. Otherwise, how would others know you? You say and do one thing today, and it is a different story tomorrow.
If I do not tell myself the truth, I cannot tell it to you. Not a thing can exist for long without it. The truth is what we depend on to know what we do is right. Even so, the truth can be “smothered,” though, not extinguished , by a blanket of lies. You cheat yourself when you do not keep your promise and tell the truth. Each time that you do, you take one more step away from who you are. Never do a thing to take away from your Self. The Self is our core, the essence of each one of us. It is where we go to be ourselves. A place you would never leave on your own, but your mind will.
Your power and strength come from your core, the Self. If the ways of life have kept your mind away, you are the one to get it back. No one can do this for you. It is not an easy thing to do. Your mind should be where you are. And when it has left where it naturally belongs, it will be hard to find its way back. It happens to you when there has been major trauma in your life. And no, you have not lost your mind. You cannot lose it. It can take leave.
To be and remain weak is a choice, as well. It is what you have when you have not learned to be strong. Strength is what keeps us in one piece and from coming apart. Without it, you will not stand firm: you will not speak out, so no one will hear you when you talk only to yourself. It is the way of nature. And if you do not feel you can do these things, your thinking is disordered. You are not the person you are telling yourself you are. God created you to be you.
Weakness does not have the strength to be strong. It is a sign that not all is well. When that which is weak is joined with that which is strong, the weak is not made stronger. The strong is made weaker. Be it cream to coffee, ice to tea, or anything that keeps you from just being you. What was once strong has now been diluted. The strength or weakness of the mind is how you think your thoughts. It is not how good or bad you are. It is a state of mind. To feel or act offended is to be weak. To feel an offense and not act offended is a show of strength. The greatest strength is that which comes from within. Inner strength gives us what we need, to do what we need to do.
Weakness comes from not having the chance in childhood to become strong. You are left to do the best you can on your own, which does not bode well for survival. We are to follow a growth and development process—not designed by us—to grow and be strong enough to tackle the challenges of life—for they will come. When that does not happen, you are unable to stand on your own. You must have the nurturing and care that you need to flourish and be strong. It is a thing that is difficult for anyone to overcome when they have never been properly cared for when they needed it most. It stunts growth in all areas of development. Finally, though, overcome it you can—when you know what made you weak. And there is no age limit to do better.
It is beyond difficult to be strong when you are struggling to survive. You will put your best foot forward and do good. Just to turn around and take one step back to from where you came. Of course, this you know. The voice in your head says, you can do this. Then the reality created not by you but for you would not allow you to be you. All the time, your mind will not leave you alone. You would be afraid to step up to the line and compete against others. But a standout on your own.
Too weak to win and not strong enough to lose. Have the will but not know the way. You cannot learn this on your own—someone has to teach you how to walk. And you must use your mind to practice how to think. Nothing is as hard as it seems. You just do not know how to do it yet.
You cannot do more than you are capable of, though, you can become more capable.