You Can Hear But Not Listen
Just as you can look but not see, you can hear and not listen. You first hear, and then you listen. When you listen, you feel the sound of your thoughts and know precisely what is said. Nothing will be filtered by emotion. To hear is not to listen. It is not the same. It takes no effort to hear. This is if you want to or not. To hear is one of the senses. It is there by nature and has no on and off switch. When you focus on what you hear, you will listen.
Hearing is the ability to perceive sound with our ears. I will not spell out the whole process, but the ears do this by detecting vibrations. When an object makes a noise, it sends vibrations (better known as sound waves) speeding through the air. Sound may be heard through solid, liquid, or gaseous matter, as well as anger, fear, happiness and pleasure. There are times when you may hear things even when you rather not. I am leaving you. I have found someone else. The thrill is gone. You are fired. And there are other times when what you want to hear you never do. I love you, yes, yes, yes. You make me feel so good. Please, don’t stop now you are the best.
What you hear can deceive you, just as when you see an object, person or thing and realize upon closer inspection that it is not what you believed it to be. This is never so evident that when a lover, husband or wife says, “I love you” when all along they are making love to someone else. To take it a step further to a place no one wants to be is when a person hears what is not being said. The need to hear what you want to hear will cause you to change the meaning of the sound of the words being spoken. You can turn and run, as fast as you can from what is real, but it will not change a thing. If he does not want you anymore, and she is telling you that she has someone else, it will be the same no matter what you allow yourself to hear. The mind is a terrible thing when it works against you.
There are times when someone will say something to you and they do not want you to listen. They only want you to hear, this is so that they can confuse you later when you tell them what they said. What you hear then, is, I did not say that, I did not say it like that or even, that is not what I meant. Our lives are shaped by how well we know how to listen. Just because you can hear does not mean you are going to listen. We hear with our ears, but we listen with our mind. The words begin to sink in. It is then that you are focused. You are there. And you will see what they really mean when they say the things that they do.
There is a time to listen. There is a time to think. There is a time to talk. Listen, think, and then talk, to know when it is your time is what determines the outcome. These are the things you must know for knowledge to flow. It is the best way to have give and take. All will have a chance to express their thoughts. It works best when one talks and one listens. The key is to know when it is your turn. When you listen, you do that, not a thing more. We do this when our mind tells us to. This is how you think what is being said. First, though, you have to be where you need be to hear what is being said.
You cannot be sure of what you have heard if you have not listened. As a result, what you say may not be what you mean. Because you did not hear, what you thought you heard. You can talk and hear at the same time but you will not be listening. If you try, it would be like trying to think two thoughts at the same time. Neither one can be done. Our mind moves to what we are thinking of. There is no dual track for how we think. And a thought will not divide. It is just as no two words can be said, and no two objects can occupy, the same space, at the same time.
You have to be prepared to learn. You must learn how to listen and listen to learn. You have to listen to what you read, listen to what is said to you, and listen to your Self if you want to learn. When we are born, we do not know how to listen. It is an acquired skill. You must have a deep sense of purpose and a strong drive to learn. Not just hear what is said or what you read. When you listen, what you hear has your undivided attention. In so many ways, it is much like meditation. What we listen to can be calming when we feel it; of course, it can be quite disturbing, it depends on what you have to listen to. You have to want more out of what you hear to listen. Until you do, you will just hear. That certainly could be all you want to do.
I cannot say it too many times, our lives are shaped by how well we know how to listen. Just because you can hear does not mean you are going to listen. We hear with our ears, but we listen with our mind. The words begin to sink in. You are focused. You are there, in the moment. And it is then that you know what the words really mean when we say the things that we do.
You cannot be sure of what you have heard if you have not listened. As a result, what you say may not be what you mean. You can talk and hear at the same time but you will not be listening. If you try, it would be like trying to think two thoughts at the same time. Neither one can be done. Your mind moves to what you are thinking of. There is no dual track for how we think. And a thought will not divide. It is just as two words cannot be said at the same time.
In the Heart of Woman the Seed Did Grow
Be warned, you read The Birth of Hate at the risk of having shifting emotions, rising passions and unrestrained thoughts. It does not promote neither does it condemn an ideology, religion or cultural belief. It is about what is, was or could have been. You will love it, hate it, or not. What you will not do is nothing.
What is hate? Why do we do it and when did it start. There are many answers to this question with no one definition settled on by past and present day thinkers. Though keep in mind that hate is brought on most often by the action of others. There is a cause and effect. We are not born with hate in our hearts it does come to life in our mind. It is an emotion that lives on as long as we are reminded that it is there; a flame once lit that is not easy to snuff out. And the source of our hate and resentment is what gives it strength. The strength to smolder long after the flame has died down. It is so strong it often times cloud our judgment and cause us to think in ways we rather not.
Here is what some of the great minds have to say about hate.
Sigmund Freud defined hate as “an ego state that wishes
to destroy the source of its unhappiness.”
Based on writings by James W. Underhill loving and hating invariably involve an object, or a person, and therefore, a relationship with something or someone.
Penguin Dictionary of Psychology defines hate as a “deep, enduring, intense emotion expressing animosity, anger, and hostility towards a person, group, or object.”
René Descartes viewed hate as “an awareness that something is bad combined with an urge to withdraw from it.”
There are many more who have their take on what it is when we hate. One thing for sure, it is a very strong feeling. That for me has no redeeming value; though, there are some who feel that it does. I believe what my life has told me and so should you. If what we want is to understand what hate is, we must first know why we do it and when did we start to do it. So, with that, why don’t we just start at the beginning. What do you believe? Were we created or did we evolve. Either way, all that is or has been had a first of its kind.
Created by God or just plain evolved, Man by nature has been given the role to rule over the woman.(The preceding is a quote from the bible.)
Did this statement cause your pulse to quicken and your heart to race? I ask you this because I think it may have. It is no wonder; though, no matter our point of view, or that of the bible, it is not shared by all. On the face of it, the Book of Genesis reads in a way that could cause you to come away with a belief that God was the first to hate, or to be hated. The thing is, it did come from some place. And just where is that place. An assortment of philosophers, those who pontificates and other worldly men and women have their theories and thoughts of what hate is. I will leave that to them. What is more important to me is, how hate came to be. How and why it started. Follow along with me as I lay out my thoughts.
Genesis is the book of the beginning, of the creation of life and all that is. This is what the bible tells us. There are two verses that certainly could be the seeds of hate. Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of which God had warned them not to do. For this transgression, he placed on them, for lack of a better word, a curse. This could be construed as the first instance of hate. And the curse that he placed on Eve is exceptionally harsh: “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” Not only has the wrath come down on Man and woman, the man shall rule over the woman.
The curse on Eve would seem to be laced with a bit of venom that is at the core, to this day, of the man/woman relationship. In the real world, God’s design for woman plays a major role in what we think of each other. And if we tell the truth most of the time what we think is not very good.
If you choose to take the bible as the word of God or not, there is no denying that the treatment of man and woman is not equal, nor is it meant to be. It is the way life is. And with no doubt is a cause of resentment and hate. No person with a sense of self wants to be ruled over. This curse or will of God any right-thinking person would see it, as it would be felt. And find it hard to deny that it would not be an easy thing to live with. It is not a stretch to think that Eve would have hate in her heart for not only man but also God for bringing on her such a horrible fate. To have Adam as her master, the only man there is, could not have been an easy thought to think.
It is not easy to dodge what is plain to see. Not just in eons past, but what we see today. Perhaps that is why there is such a high rate of divorce and couples finding it so hard to stay together. You read and hear it all the time that a marriage takes work. I say work is what we do to get what we want and need, we should not have to work as hard to keep it. With so much work, how would you find time and space to appreciate the life that you have? It is certainly one of those things that should cause you to think. But if this is in fact true—as it appears that it is— the hate we see to this day is firmly rooted in the past. There has been fertile ground from the beginning. It is clear that God’s words would be reason enough for Eve to be the birth mother of hate and female resentment. We see it all around us. It festers and comes to a head much too often.
Let us call it for what it is; both Adam and Eve were set up to fail. And fail they did. You want proof. Just one killing of another person is enough. This is not to say that they ever took a life; the bible does not say they did. But their progeny did and has since forth. It is done as a way to get what we want or destroy what we do not. It is where some go first to settle a dispute. The bible is replete with wars and conflicts that almost always end in death. In fact, nations were exhorted to fight each other. Now this is not the fault of woman, this came after her, not because of her. Though, in Eve the seed was planted. Now, of course, I say what I do only if the bible’s story is true. True or not, nature is. And if we looked at it from that point of view, the make up of man and woman would not change. The way that we live our lives would be the same.
It does go deep whether it comes from the “theory” of evolution, or by the will of God. Now, let us look further. No matter if we do or not, one thing we know, hate began with us. And another thing we know is that a woman can hate men even though she loves her own man. This, of course, was not so with Adam and Eve. If you believe it is just a yarn, it very well may be. Yet and still, it would be one tall tale that has been true to life. There are many who do believe and they believe strongly that the word is the power. The power that Man has over woman is at the root of human relationships and all that grows from it. It has been this way as far back as our minds can take us. But, is this the way it is meant to be? What is done will not be changed. What can be done now can be. What is next will follow.
It was God’s command that Man would “rule over woman.” This is as taught by religious doctrine, words of the bible and other sacred books. Those words pack a great deal of power in thought and deed. It is there where we should first look to understand the human condition. We can deny it, pretend it is not there and hope it will go away. But these three words are the foundation of how much of life is lived today. For those who believe in creation these words are inherently true. Even when viewed through the lens of science the relationship does not change much, if at all. By nature, it is still at the core and is the base of survival of the species. Both man and woman must agree or one must dominate. This would have been the Man for the woman could refuse to mate at which time reproduction would cease.
Creation or evolution, either way, no matter your view, it is not hard to understand why woman would be the first to show signs of hate. How could she not when God is sounding more and more like a man and is promising her pain. And Man is giving it to her. No matter how it may have been, man and woman had to come to together for the good of the whole. It could be no us without them. The human race could not survive without it. When it is all said and done, and we look at what the male and female mean to life, I do not think that hate was intended. It is just a feeling brought on by a thought, and the actions of others. Though it does go deep and is hard to suppress. For good reason we now know.
There was a time in our history when consent had no standing and force was used when all else failed. There were no laws to protect the life and liberty of woman. Man did with her as he pleased. The only rights the woman had was the one to do as she was told. And if she refused, there would be a price to pay. All the things that man provided would be withheld until she gave in. If not, she would be beaten in to submission or worse. Depictions of how the Man/Woman relationship may have been in prehistoric times show that brute force was the first choice of action to gain compliance rather than the last. The male would just take what he wanted. To this day, it still exists in some measure in most societies of the world; though, we are not quick to own up to it.
Here is another thing that we will not admit to. You or I, male or female will have the controlling power in our relationship. One of us will have the last word, so to speak. Someone has to be the one. When more than one thing is set in motion, either at the same or different times, hardly if ever will they stop at the same time. Of course with two people it would be hard to measure unless one knew that he or she should not be the one to have the last say. Now this would have been the woman for sure. And let us be honest here, it is much that way today. When one listens while the other talks it is a conversation. If it is all listening and no chance to talk you are engaging with a dictator. It would be you being told what to think or not.
Love and hate, far apart yet so close. At first, there may or may not have been love but for sure, there were those times when man and woman were close if just in the physical sense. I don’t know about the warm and fuzzy feelings. But certainly, they did mate. We are proof of that. And it would be reasonable to believe the signs of love were there early on. But being forced to mate against your will even once could turn any good feelings into hate. To feel you have no power to resist can cause resentment and the seeds of hate to grow. Love is a gift—hate is pain. One you give and accept freely the other you handle as best you can. It does not matter if you are on the giving or receiving end of things. Love and hate were born in the heart and mind of woman. And there is just a thin line between the two.
Love or hate, created, or evolved, we likely would not be here today if woman had a strong hate for man. That is unless there was a need only the man could provide and there was. Protection and food was what the man had in his favor. It is not likely that his sexual prowess or charming ways won over the woman. However it all came about, and we know it did, there was a man and woman of some kind to birth and bring forth the human race. It would not have been easy for them to mate or her to conceive if the woman did not want man near her. It is clear though, that he protected her and made sure that her basic needs were met. Now this could have been just for obvious reasons. That is, for her to be healthy and strong enough to bear children. Of course, it is possible and some would say likely, that sex along was a good enough reason. It was certainly made to feel good for a purpose, as we know not all things do. As there are things that we do that feel bad, and that is for a purpose, as well.
There was not as much to be concerned about other than survival during the early days. Politics and the agendas we see today were not even a thought back then. In the beginning, sex more likely than not was the sole reason for wanting to mate. But if woman did not want man near her I could see this as the harbinger of force to copulate. It would be reasonable to think that it was not this way at first. Having sex, by nature, is meant to give pleasure. This is to assure that the man and woman would have the desire to do it again. It is the timing of the act that would have/could have been an issue. Much as it is to this day. The drive of the man and woman was not meant to be the same, for a reason. Just a bit of tinkering with our thoughts will tell us why.
Another thing that could have caused woman to hate is the taking on of more than one mate by man. Here is where nature, God or however we came to be comes in to play again. The act of conception is much shorter than a pregnancy so by nature man would impregnate more than one woman at a time. It was a matter of survival. To grow and prosper, there were needs that must be met and the offspring carried forth the seeds of life. The mating of the man and woman is the way that it was done. No matter how it all came about or whatever the scenario, we still cannot get away from the fact that it takes a male and a female to produce an offspring. Though, the burden is on the woman. Her body has to prepare itself each month for conception. Then she must carry the baby for 9 months. A mother’s instinct overpowered by a wish to survive could have caused her to think it was a thing she would rather do without. The maternal death rate must have been high. This most certainly could have added to the hate that the woman had for man.
We know that many mothers to be did not survive the nine months of pregnancy. And that just as many died during childbirth. It would not have taken long for the woman to make the connection between the man chasing her down, mating, and death. You do not have to be a deep thinker or a know it all, to know that this would add to the consternation of the mothers to be. Their detestation for the one who put them there would not be helped either I am sure. Mating, carrying of the baby and childbirth is how we are brought to life. Whether by God or evolution, this is the process by which we become a thinking and breathing human being.
Nature was “designed” in a way to further the growth and development of the species. There had to be a relationship between the man and woman that would allow this to happen. Even if there was some type of force or coercion. And Man would be the one to do this. He had the greater strength. It was given to him to protect against the threat to life. This means all dangers including to the creation of life by man and woman. How it came first, we do not know for sure, but it was now on them to mate and nurture the offspring. The proliferation of the species is by design, and was necessary for the birth and evolution of human life. Man had the power. So force was used when force was required. There were no laws for man, nature ruled. Hate either started here at the very beginning, or a little further down the line. It would seem that it was inevitable. It was built in or mistakes were made.
The man had to ready to copulate, therefore, would have to do so when aroused. This could be at any time or place. The woman on the other hand, may or may not have been receptive to the act. It is not hard to imagine, that this could cause some bitter feelings. And when taken with all else could have given the woman a reason to hate. I am not so sure. What I do know is that it takes a man and a woman to create another human. If you believe we were created or evolved it will not change a thing. It will all remain the same. Each sex was designed in a way to allow for mating. This was not by chance. Or is that not the way it is meant to be. Even so, hate does not stop where it began. It spreads like a virus or a deadly disease.
A passage from the Book of Genesis reads, “And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.” Now here I am thinking that both Cain and Abel’s jobs were the kind of occupations that would be looked upon as a good thing contributing to the health and well-being of others. Now in the next reading we will see that is not so for poor Cain, “but unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.” Now that he is angered and full of hate, he kills his brother Able. Hate has been learned by him. Or did he just feel it. From here, the bible is full of wars, killings, and rapes. This story is from the bible so either you believe it or you do not. One thing for sure, hate was born from us and all of these things have come to pass. Now let us look at it from an evolution point of view.
The biological process of evolution and the beginning of life on earth, for many, is no more or less believable than the Book of Genesis. Even the most noted scientist would find it complicated to understand. A line has been drawn and sides have been taken. It is the main event of all things challenged. Were we created or did we evolve. The beliefs are just as strong for both sides. Each is steadfast in their beliefs. Well, why not both. I call it Creavolution. Creation because at some point we did not exist, it is how we came to be. It matters not if you believe in God or religion. It is so. Evolution gives shape to our lives and it is how we grow. These two are the forces that are one with all life all the time. It is the new, which was created, and all things that evolved from it. Look at it this way; we have to use what we know to understand what we do not. At one time, you and I were not here, now we are. The sperm and egg of our parents created us.
We were created to evolve to create and we evolve when our needs are met. All that we need was here before us. But, we do have to be taught. Where there is a need there is a way, if there is no way, there is no need. It is called nature it is called life. For life to exist there must be the means of survival. That is, if we are to survive, and that is what whomever or whatever created the first of us wanted us to do. That is why hate was not strong enough to destroy life. Though, many lives have been destroyed.
Life, as we understand it, is to create more life. That is to be fruitful and multiply. It is what keeps all living things alive. What else we do is up to us and is just a by-product not the main event. All things must first be to grow and become. Growth starts when life begins. And when life began soon after came hate. The seeds were planted in fertile soil. And the harvest thereof we will reap. The symptoms remain the same when the cause does not change. Hate lives on for as long as we are reminded of its presence.
In the beginning, Man was given no reason to hate. He was in charge. He had it going on. The burden to hate was placed on woman for she was to receive just what man would offer. If we changed the names it would still be the same. Man and woman is now how we are known. We have a name, which is our label. We must use the labels that we know by shapes and words to make sense of our world. As we grow and change our labels will change. We will not have a thought of what a thing is if it does not have a label. Nor will we know its purpose. No one would know who we are and we would not know them. You and I would not even know who or what we are.There are things a society must have in place for us to thrive and grow. Labels are one of these things. Life would not be the same without them.
There are groups, some well known, and others not so much, that represent the interest of women. This is a good thing, but some of the things they say, I wonder. One of the things goes to the heart of our existence. That is that they are not a part of man when all the time we are a part of each other. They refuse to carry the woman label and say that they will not stay in “their place.” They refer to themselves as womayn. They do not want to be part of man, and their thinking is somewhat understandable. Though yet and still, we are from the same beginning and alike in so many ways. And the difference does not amount to much.
If you take away our reproductive organs, and make further adjustments to our anatomy, you will not have a male or female, you will have a person. But that is not the way it was meant to be. Still we have some who say they have no place and do not put a label on them. We are here, thus we do have a place and a label. Yes, if we accept it or not it is so. In many ways, just being a person with a name, which is a label, tells who we are and where we stand. Some things we can change, others—of course—we cannot.
We all have a place starting in our mother’s womb. It comes with a label that tells who we are. And our place is in the order of our birth, as well. This does not change. There are labels that we have that will change as our roles in life change. When we feel that we do not have a place, we will get less from the place we are in now. What we do know is that man was gifted, or damned— depends on your perspective— with the physical power to rule. To change the label from woman to womayn now will not change what is, the label cannot come before what is to be labeled. In other words, it must first be before it is. And woman and man is. What can change is the woman’s place. For we all have a place to belong. If I am man and you hate me, I should not have to wonder why because it is in the details of our existence.
We were born to belong not to be alone. To do so we have to fit in some place. We must stand up before we can stand out. This we do with the help from those who support who we are and what we do. This should be that place where you can be person who you really are. That can be in doubt if you are woman.
When restrained by the rules of nature and the dictates of man the mind can traverse that thin line between love and hate. She just may have—I cannot say for sure—felt put upon by the cruel hand of fate. That creavolution—how I believe we came about—dealt her a card less than she needed to play. You could wonder why, but there is no need. In the beginning, life was basic. The drive to reproduce was born in man. It is the one thing that would assure the survival of the species. We came in to existence with no room for error. Equality of the sexes could not be thought of. Life would not allow for it, then. The mind could not go there for there was no basis in the present reality. So, this is one time in our history when yes, we; both man and woman, did have to stay in our place.
Mating was helped by instinct and the sense of smell. Man and woman likely did not look that different from each other so it would not have been looks. And unlike today, sexual intercourse was not face to face. It is likely very little if any show of affection took place. Romance was a thing for the future. It would be interesting to know just why humans thought this would be the thing to do. There is no other animal does this. Is there anything take from this? Man and woman were covered with hair—for good reason—with just four things of note setting them apart. Those things that made the difference, of course, were the sex organs and the female breast. It had to be this way for survival and feeding the young.
Whether we believe we were created or evolved, we could not be the same. We had to be different to be at all. Man and woman were built to accommodate each other for mating, if not a thing else. And man was given the choice by way of strength to choose. It would not be a stretch to think that the woman would not be eager to accept this type of arrangement. For better or worst some would say not much has changed. That may be, but survival is our strongest drive and sex is how we do it.
“And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden. And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch. And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehu’ja-el: and Mehu’ja-el begat Methu’sa-el: and Methu’sa-el begat Lamech. Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah. And Lamech took unto him two wives.” Now this here was just another reason for woman to hate.
Love or hate the man and woman have a bond. We are the only one of our kind. There can be no one without the two. Did you notice that man was written with a capital M when there was no need to do so. It may seem—to some—that male chauvinism was at work. No, it was done on purpose and for a reason. What were your emotions, did you feel hate or anger and want to strike back. If so, it is likely you are woman. And for man, you should not have to wonder why.
What do you think, take a moment to gather your thoughts. You just witnessed The Birth of Hate. You can say with assurance that you are among the first to do so. You have seen what no one has had the privilege to see for it has not been said before. Though, in the truest sense hate is not new born, how we see its birth is. It was not meant to be an indictment and it is not. It was just a walk back in time. An extrapolation of a given using logic as a guide. You do not have to agree with what I have written, but please to not hate me for it.
Do You Know Your Place
We must know where we belong, if not we are lost. There are things a society must have in place for us to thrive and grow. Life would not be the same without them. The means and use of its own tools to function is one of them. One such tool for all groups is the use of symbols and labels. We must use labels that we know by shapes and words to make sense of our world. We will not have a thought of what a thing is if it does not have a label. Without one, you would not know. Nor will we know its purpose.
We use labels to know what we are doing. It all began with life and the world, as we know it. We were born with the instinct. This is so that we could survive in this new world. It is said by some, that they do not have a place. And they refuse to be labeled or “put in their place.” This is a wrong way to think. If you do not have a place, you do not have a place to be. Of course, we are all some place. Although, it may not be the place we want to be. We were born to belong, to fit in, not to be alone. We all have our own place that we only have to find. You will know it when you find it, because you will feel it.
If you think you have no place, that it is somehow an insult, it will only cause you harm. Just take a moment to think what you are saying when you say this. We all have a place starting in our mother’s womb. It comes with a label that tells who we are. It will tell where our place is in the order of our birth, as well. This does not change. There are labels that we have that will change as we change. This is over time as our roles in life change. When we feel that we do not have a place, we will get less from the place we are in now. And when we move on, we take less with us and have less to work with where we are going.
When you are not content with your place, change your label and your place will change. This is done by changing the way you think. Some go back to school. Others make sure to fill out the space they are in. Getting the most from what they have. You change the way you think by being aware of how you think. Everyone has a place and that place is where you want to be. No one can misplace you but you. Each of us defines who we are. The future is in our hands. Even with its ebb and flow of life. Know what it is you see when you look. I am who I have been looking for. Who are you?
To Be Labeled and Put in Your Place
Man and woman is now how we are known. We have a name, which is our label. We must use the labels that we know by shapes and words to make sense of our world. As we grow and change, our labels will change. We will not have a thought of what a thing is if it does not have a label. Nor will we know its purpose. No one would know who we are and we would not know him or her. You and I would not even know who or what we are.There are things a society must have in place for us to thrive and grow. Labels are one of these things. Life would not be the same without them.
Still we have some who say they have no place and do not put a label on them. We are here, thus we do have a place and a label. Yes, if we accept it or not it is so. In many ways, just being a person with a name, which is a label, tells who we are and where we stand. Some labels we can change, others—of course—we cannot.
We all have a place starting in our mother’s womb. It comes with a label that tells who we are. And our place is in the order of our birth, as well. This does not change. There are labels that we have that will change as our roles in life change. When we feel that we do not have a place, we will get less from the place we are in now. We all have a place to belong and a label to tell who we are.
Pain Does Not Cause Pain How You Think Does
As we know and have known from an early age, there are two kinds of pain. When we hurt, it can be physical, mental—that can and does manifest itself in bouts of crying and other manifestations and behavior—and any manner of acting out. At times, hurt can be both physical and emotional. We even cause more pain when we are in pain, not always but too often for many.
Do not cover up your pain with the things that you say and do. This is what you do to try to feel better. It does not work. You will just suffer and make it worse. No matter how fast you run you cannot run from your pain. And to pretend it is not there will not make life easier. For you know, even if no one else does, it has not gone away. Emotional hurt and pain it is a symptom that not all is well with how you think. No new boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife will change this. If you want to change how you feel, you must change how you think. You cannot live in the past, so why should you let the past live in you. It is pain you feel. Let what you do speak for you, not what has been done to you. To some degree, this has happened to most of us. It is how you think about thoughts; you know, the things that you think about.
Your husband or wife, or not having either, does not cause your pain. Neither your employer nor our friends are the cause of the pain that you feel. When all has been said, the pain that you feel is caused by no one other than you. It does not matter from where it came. You allow it to do what it does. It is not the job, the neighbor or anyone else or thing. The source of the pain is how you think. It really is not you that they see when they look your way. You have hidden the real you under layers of hurt and pain.
You have struggled long to come out. No one knows the real you for you have not shown your SELF to them. You have been afraid to look at you. When will you let the real you show up? You know as I do that there are times when no one is around that you just lose it. It hurt so bad not to be yourself. It aches in your heart. There are times when you need to feel that one person, just one, love you for who you are. You have been wounded by your hurt. Remember this: I come before you, they, them, we and us. When I do not come first, life will be disordered until I do.
If you have memories of hurt and pain from your past, it will change when you change how you think. You have to understand this for what it is. How it influences your thoughts.
This presentation is about labels and what they mean to us. And yes, we all have them. This is clear for most of us. Even so, you will hear it this time in a way you have not heard it before.