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November 4, 2016

Don’t Let it Happen to You

by James R. Yarbrough

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Dependency

The aim of help should not be to keep you weak but to make you strong. Step away and refuse to hold hands with dependency for that is what it is when you stay too long. Of course, you do have to depend on life for what you need. It is one of the rules of nature. It is how we survive; it is the foundation of our existence. To depend on and being dependent on are not the same. One of these you must be and the other you should try to never be. If you do not have a mental or physical disability you should not be a dependent pass childhood. We do have to depend on others and age has less to with the time and level of need as does where you may be when the need arises.

There are things in life that must be as we expect them to be: sunrise in the morning moon light at night, water when we are thirsty and air to breathe and the ground beneath our feet. We depend on these things, as it should be. It is the same for you as it is for me. I see it as the purest form of equality. But when we look all around us what do we see. Some are strong and free while others have become dependent for reasons not so easy to understand when just passing by and not hearing the reason why. To be dependent on a person, place or thing is just another way to say, I quit. It shows there is no understanding of “Self,” and there is a void where confidence should be. These are the twin pillars—“Self” worth and confidence—of a successful life without which you will only struggle until they come in to view.

To rely on someone is not being dependent on that person and is something we all must do. But, when done too long it does more harm than good and you then are dependent and don’t know which way to go or what to do. It will not let you grow and you will not know friend from foe. Only if you see your “Self” will you be sure. I say this for you as I do for they, them and us.

Yes, dependency is the cause of much of the dysfunction in relationships, be they personal as in marriage and family, casual acquaintances or in business and employment. There will always be an imbalance where the “giver” holds the reins and without notice can take you in the direction that she or he wants you to go. The bit is in your mouth don’t you know. It is how you think.

 

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