Know there is nothing more critical to your sense of Self and well-being than your thoughts and how you think them. Our thoughts and how we think them are what determine what we do and say. What we want from our lives depends on it. They are our own and one thing we have that no one can take from us. So, embrace that power with all your might.
Thoughts will come and go, but they do not go away. You will not undo a thought. Once you have a thought, you think it, or it lives on in your memory as just a thought. There is not a thing that a thought will reverse to. Though, your perception of which our thoughts are based might change. In turn, this could change what you think. You can have the thought again. But not think about it in the same way or manner. If it connects with things in your life, it will move forward.
You must know the existence of people, places, and things to have a thought about them. When you do know but do not remember, you know no less. A new thought will remind you if there is a need. You will not know how much you know until you know more than you know now. We do not use what we know as we learned it. It was only information then. We use what we learn after it becomes knowledge. Knowledge is when you have a full and complete understanding of what you have learned. That is how and why it is knowledge. Know what you think you know. Know what you do not. Knowledge will do you no harm. However, how you think about and act upon what you know can. You can be perfect in what you do. However, you will not be perfect in how you think.
Life depends on decision-making
Life is full of decisions that you and I must make. There are times when you have to decide on what you do not know. If you do not know what is around the corner, you may choose not to go there. Our thoughts can lift us up or hold us down. It depends on how we think them. You have no power greater than to think your thoughts. No one knows what you are thinking but you; they only see how you act. And—of course—you act on what you think and feel. Thinking is fuel for the mind. How great it is to use.
By its nature, we tend to spend more time thinking a negative thought, not that we think more negative thoughts. And it is for a good reason—it requires more attention just by its nature. It can cause you to imagine the worst, and you can dwell on it to no end. If it does leave, it will keep coming back until you think it through.
Positive feels good. Negative does not.
The most useless and damaging thought anyone can think about is what they think others think about them. It causes discomfort, worry, and low self-esteem for those open to it and is the direct result of disordered thinking. To be overly concerned about what others think about you is self-defeating with no redeeming value. You should not let that cause you a minute of pain. Let no one, including yourself, influence your thoughts to make you feel bad—though many will try, and so will you. More than likely, they would not approach you with this in mind if they did not think they could. How you act is how you are known. No one can know what is on your mind.
How you act is what will lead others to believe what they do about you. That is if they do not have their reasons to think otherwise. But for those with no agenda, it is how you are thought of when they think of you. How else can they know who you are? When you change how you think and act—if that is what you need to do—you change what is thought of you.
When you have painful thoughts, there is a cause. Painful thoughts, if you take time to think them, will show in how you act. You can come to depend on them and wallow in your misery, perversely being relieved by the pain. And then take it a step further and feel that it is normal. But, of course, it never is. Yes, it does hurt to think the wrong thoughts, and it cannot be realistically rationalized away. What you think should not be the cause of pain. And the reason for thinking this way, has its roots in childhood. No matter what actions of yours stirs it now. When in pain, you will make hurtful decisions for yourself and others as well.
You cannot be the best at what you say and do when your thinking is disordered. One of the most difficult tasks in life is to change how you think, when that is what you need to do. You must understand how and why you think the way you do. You have to know how to think the way that is best for you. Do not let how you think, and act be based on thoughts you are not sure of, for how you act will be unpredictable; this you know. Now, you must admit that you need to change how you think. That is the first step to being you, the real you.
Do not listen to a disordered mind and let it tell you what to do. It matters not if it is your mind and your way of thinking or that of someone else. You and your mind are where you should not be if what is said and done and what you tell yourself makes you feel uncomfortable and ill at ease. One important thing to keep in mind is that no one can make you feel any way other than how you wish unless you have given them permission to do so. And this is evident to them by how you treat yourself. They “see” you; you do not. And this is a true example of “they see you coming before you get there.” Your reputation has indeed preceded you.
How you think is how you will act and when how you think is disordered, there is something wrong with the thoughts you have to think. You are insecure about who you are, or should I say who you think you are. You are better than you think. When you think the way you do, you will see yourself build your life and the things you care about up just to tear them down. You will repeat this behavior and thinking throughout your life until you change how you think. You will do this without fail. It is a pattern that does not change. That is until you change.
When your thinking is disordered, it can, and often does, cause hypersensitivity. No one—even those relatives and friends who care about you—wants to stand close to the “flame.” Few of them will say they do not want to be scorched, but it is what most of them are thinking. But some who would come near if not for fear of being upset by your words and actions. When you change how you think, how others treat you will change as well. You know the pain of living with how you think and just how hard it is living with what is going on in you.
When how you think is disordered and how you act is preceding you as you live your life, you are not soon to realize it. When things are not right, we look at all the other places, first, for an answer. For sure, though, we will not harm ourselves with full knowledge of what we are doing. It goes against the first law of nature. That is growth and survival. And to grow, you must be strong. You have to believe it to see it, and when you see it, you will know. What do you believe?
If you are not sure of what you think about your thoughts, you will not have the confidence to make informed decisions in your best interest. You should not allow thoughts that bring more weight than relief to think to take up room in your mind. Perhaps another time if they come back not the same, but similar. If—however—you choose to continue, it will cause mixed feelings. Then, yes, you will act in ways that you cannot always foresee or predict. Do not let these kinds of thoughts take hold. It will leave you with a conflicting view of what is real. You must see these thoughts for what they are: a type of bad dream or recurring nightmare that does not want to go away. When you do not, you will bow to the weight, which is sure to lead to “Self” sabotage.
I cannot say it enough about how we act is what others use to judge us, and it is the face that we show the world. Thoughts and feelings are not for us to see. The best we can know about the thoughts of others and how they feel is by how they act. This is how others know us, as well. Plainly put, we relate to each other by the actions we take and the moves we make. And as we about, no one has an obligation to understand us. That is a personal responsibility if you wish to be understood. And that you should.
It is not as hard for you to change how you act as it is not to. You do it all the time. When you start to think better, you will act better. If you do not see you—think—whom do you see. We touch others by what we say and do, and likewise they touch us by what they do. How we think is where it all begins. And there is not a time when we do not think. That is not the problem. What we think can be.
When how you think and act is the result of the pain you feel, you must trace your pain to where it leads. That would be your childhood. Your childhood is real, and its effect on you—good or bad— is real. You must look back one last time. First, though, we have to let down our defense, drop our guard, maybe, for the first time. The hurt that you feel maybe clouded by time, but as you know, it does not change a thing. We were a child in an adult world. It does not matter; it is the thoughts of our childhood that hurts. If it is not you, it is someone you know, whether you know it or not.
If the trip is difficult to take, try being me, and I will be you. It will help you understand how the millions who suffer here and around the world may feel. How they act is a way to learn about us. You can do it after you change how you think. Yes, many are hurting. The pain has its roots in and grows from a life of being interfered with. We have to go back to this point. It is where our path to the right way of thinking begins.
Is it the way we remember it to be? Some things we can change, others we have to change how we think about them. The past will never change. Memories of days since passed should not be your guide. It is for a good reason. What we can recall about the past can change. Then our memories are more false than they are true. They tell us what was, not what is or what is going to be. You can go to the past with your thoughts and thinking when you want; just remember to come back to the present. There is no room there. All the things there have been. The past is filled.
Spending too much time thinking about the past than “living” in the present has its problems, and they are not small. For one, you are looking back when you should be looking ahead. Life is in front of you, and when not paying attention, your path forward will be hazardous to you and the turmoil as a result, will cause problems for those around as well.
If you suffer, and there is not just one way, you do not know why. If you knew why you would not suffer. The why is you tell yourself that you are not worthy. You think you are not good enough and do not deserve to be yourself and be happy. Do not say that in any form. If you do, know that it is not true. The Self does not want to hear it. When we hurt ourselves, there is a memory that has hurt us. When love is not there, the place where it should be will not be left empty. Hurt will fill its place.
The drive to survive is born with us. It is the first law of nature. Do not do harm to what has been given. This will cause grief and will harm others in your life, as well. Most of the problems in our lives today are caused by how we think. Not how others think. We bring the problems on ourselves. Many times, it is when you think you know the thoughts of others as well as you know your own.
You can look but not see and hear but not listen.
You have to be prepared to learn. You must learn how to listen and listen to learn. You have to listen to what you read. Listen to what is said to you and listen to your Self. When we are born, we do not know how to listen. It is an acquired skill. You first hear, and then you listen. When you listen, you feel the sound of your thoughts. If you want to think about what you read, you have to listen to what you read.
To hear is not to listen. It is not the same. It takes no effort to hear. This is if you want to or not. To hear is one of the senses. It is there by nature and has no on and off switch. The senses let us live and are the means to be in touch with our world. They make life worth living. They are tools of nature. To listen is not a sense it is a skill. If you want to listen, it must be what you want to do.
You must have a deep sense of purpose and a strong drive to learn. Not just, hear what is said or what you read. When you listen, what you hear or read has your attention. Your mind is closed but to this. When you focus on what you hear to where your mind takes over, you are listening. In so many ways, it is much like meditation. What we listen to can be calming when we feel it. You have to want to learn to listen. Until you do, you will just hear.
Our lives are shaped by how well we know how to listen. Just because you can hear does not mean you are going to listen. We hear with our ears, but we listen with our mind. The words begin to sink in. It is then that you are focused. You are there. And will see what we really mean when we say the things that we do. You can look but not see and hear but not listen.
There is a time to listen. There is a time to think. There is a time to talk. Listen, think, and then talk, to know when it is your time is what determines the outcome. These are the things we must know for knowledge to flow. It is the way to have give and take. All will have a chance to express their thoughts. It works best when one talks and one listens. The key is to know when it is your turn. When you listen, you do that, not a thing more. We do this when our mind tells us to. This is how you think what is being said.
You cannot be sure of what you have heard if you have not listened. As a result, what you say may not be what you mean. You can talk and hear at the same time, but you will not be listening. If you try, it would be like trying to think two thoughts at the same time. Neither one can be done. Our mind moves to what we are thinking of. There is no dual track for how we think. And a thought will not divide. Just as you cannot say two words at the same time.
When we say what needs to be heard, someone will listen. You should not say a thing until you say it to yourself. No matter what you say, you should make sure to say what you know. There is a lesson in all the things we say and do.
Though our life is always on one track—it does not mean we have to have a one-track mind. The mind is meant to explore the possibilities, to wonder, to create, and to consider what is and what can be. There is no limit to where the mind will go, so there are times when we have to call it back.