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January 25, 2014

Are We Born to be Free

by James R. Yarbrough

       Until Death Do Us Part

Marriage comes with a contract—vows—that is as unnatural as marriage itself. It goes against the natural order of life. It is an unnatural coupling between two people who are different in a major way.  And it is the greatest agreement that never was. There is but one true relationship. That is the natural family, your kin, and we know that does not always play out as it should. Kinship is for forever. It is the only relationship that grows from the family seed. So, if family finds it hard get along and there is blood involved, it would be reasonable to think that other relationships do not stand much of a chance of survival. They are difficult to maintain, at best. Some say fake it until you make it, what if  you do not make it.

Marriage is the most personal and seems to be the hardest relationship to hold together; though, it comes with its own remedy if it does not work out, a divorce. And coming in second would be on the job. Or any place where there are people and you feel you have to be there, that you no choice. For whatever the reason, you think you must. If there were a list, it would be limitless. But, there is a good reason a society needs these relationships. It all comes down to control.

Most humans as well as other animals, need their space and do not like to be controlled, that is unless they are weak. It is the type of wild, if it could be called that, which is in all us. It is a strong part of self that makes us who we are; it is the core of how we came to be. We had to be different to be, just as we had to come in contact with each other and closer than some wanted to be. Does a husband and wife sleeping in different beds come to mind here. This is especially true after all the kids have been created by the parents. Do not hate me, but more times than not, it is the wife who needs more sleeping space. She has done her part, she has answered nature’s call. I am all but sure that is not the one and only reason.

Being close is more than just a factor in relationships, and it is not natural for long periods of time. You can start to get on each others nerves. Some may say that love will change all of this, you be the judge. When you feel you do not want to be up close and personal and you feel you must, you will compensate. And we know where this can lead, a little something on the side. Now hold up, I believe in love, I want to love and be loved. So, please do not get me wrong. The thing is, just because you say it is so does not mean that it is. Can we agree on that?

Many of the ills of societies today as well as the past, is because we have to be near each other, when at times we would rather not. You want it your way and I want it mine. And the times are few when we want the same. I do it, you do it and nations do it. One could wonder, if one were so inclined, why is it this way, why can we not all just get along. We will never know why, but we do have to work with what we do know. This is the problem. We are not doing a good job living among each other. There is racism, sexism, ageism, religious differences and a host of other things that come between us. Now, this is what I do, I look to nature. There is one other thing that is central and at its core, someone has to be in charge.

There have to be leaders, followers and all that is in between for life to function as it should. It is as it is meant to be. What can and does cause a problem and disorder is when you have followers wanting to be leaders when they are not, and leaders that do not know how to lead. One is there by the order of their birth or lack of will and the other by force or their order of birth. This causes an unnatural balance that goes against nature. Of course some who follow begin to lead and work their way up. They had it in them all along. They were where they were only because of circumstance. Nothing is so small that it does have the potential to grow.

One thing we all should remember, with freedom comes responsibility. The freedom to speak comes with knowing when or not. The freedom to choose comes with knowing the choices. And the freedom to be you comes with knowing who you are. I say, be the best you that you can be the only person that you can. Let no one tell you who you should be because you can answer to no one but you. No matter what you are told. It is not possible for anyone to know you the way you know you. So do not let them think they do.

Peace

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