When I say you, as I often do, it is only you when you see you. The message here is direct. If you do not recognize any parts of how you think, feel, and act, don’t turn away, for you will recognize someone you know or love. Or perhaps if you listen to what you read and see, you will understand someone you know better. Even someone you do not know, but you have seen them act out their hurt in all the wrong places where there is no apparent reason why.
Do not cover up your pain with the things that you say and do. It is understandable for you to do this to try to feel better. The problem is it does not work: Not for long. You will only suffer more and make it worse. No matter how fast you run, you cannot run from pain. And to pretend it is not there will not make life easier. For you know—even if no one else does—it has not gone away. Emotional hurt and pain: It is a symptom that not all is well with how you think.
No new boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife will change how you feel; they cannot take the pain away. If you want to change how you feel, you must change how you think. You cannot live in the past, so why should you let the past live in you. It is pain that you feel. Let what you do speak for you, not what has been done to you. To some degree, this has happened to most of us. It is how you think about thoughts—you know, those things you think about, those actions taken against you, and those you have taken against yourself.
Your husband or wife, or not having either, does not cause your pain. Neither your employer nor our friends are the cause of the pain that you feel. When all has been said, the pain you feel is caused by no one other than you. It does not matter from where it came. You allow it to do what it does. It is not the job, the neighbor, or anyone else or thing. The source of the pain is how you think. It is not you that they see when they look your way. You have hidden the real you under layers of hurt and pain.
You have struggled long to come out. No one knows the real you, for you have not shown your SELF to anyone. You have been afraid to look at you. When will you let the real you show up? You know there are times when no one is around that you lose it. It hurt so bad not to be yourself. It aches in your heart. There are times when you need to feel that one person, just one, loves you for who you are. Your hurt has wounded you. Remember this: I come before you, they, them, we, and us. When I do not come first, life will be disordered until I do.
If you have memories of hurt and pain from your past, it will change when you change how you think. You have to understand this for what it is, how it influences your thoughts.