Mental Illness Is No Joke

Health vs. Health Care: You Decide

Health is what you do health care is what others do for you

 The preservation of health is a duty. Few seem conscious that there is such a thing as physical morality. — Herbert Spencer

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. — The World Health Organization

Mental HealthMedline Plus

Mental health is how we think, feel and act as we cope with life. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others and make choices. Like physical health, mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.

I want us to work toward changing the attitude of the agencies and organizations charged with taking care of our mental health needs. They struggle without much success to address the problems through programs and services that do not provide the patients and clients with what they need most. That is to help them change how they think not tell them what to think. It has not/will not lead to a satisfactory conclusion for recipient or provider. It is a temporary fix, not a solution. Before help can be accepted you have to help your Self. There is no therapy, counseling or medication that will be effective until you do. When I say you, I am talking about the Self, your Self, her Self and him Self, all of us.—    James R. Yarbrough

Mental IllnessMayo Clinic  

Mental illness refers to a wide range of mental health conditions — disorders that affect your mood, thinking and behavior. Examples of mental illness include depression, anxiety disorders, schizophrenia, eating disorders and addictive behaviors.

Many people have mental health concerns from time to time. But a mental health concern becomes a mental illness when signs and symptoms cause frequent stress and affect your ability to function. A mental illness can make you miserable and can cause problems in your daily life, such as at work or in relationships. In most cases, mental illness symptoms can be managed with a combination of medications and counseling (psychotherapy).

What Is Normal

Understanding what is considered normal mental health can be tricky. See how feelings, thoughts and behaviors determine mental health and how to recognize if you or a loved one needs help.

What is the difference between mental health and mental illness? Sometimes the answer seems clear. For instance, a person who hears voices in his or her head could have schizophrenia. A person who goes on a frenzied shopping spree or starts an ambitious project — such as remodeling the bathroom — without any plans might be having a manic episode caused by bipolar disorder.

In some cases, however, the distinction between mental health and mental illness is not so obvious. If you are afraid of giving a speech in public, does it mean you have a mental health condition or a run-of-the-mill case of nerves? If you feel sad and discouraged, do you have the blues, or is it full-fledged depression?

Here is help understanding how mental health conditions are identified.

Why is it so tough to tell what is normal?

It is often difficult to distinguish normal mental health from mental illness because there is no easy test to show if something’s wrong. Mental health conditions are diagnosed and treated based on signs and symptoms, as well as on how much the condition affects your daily life. Signs and symptoms can affect your:

Behavior: Obsessive hand washing or drinking too much alcohol might be signs of a mental health condition.

Feelings: Sometimes a mental health condition is characterized by a deep or ongoing sadness, euphoria or anger.

Thinking: Delusions — such as thinking that the television is controlling your mind — or thoughts of suicide might be symptoms of a mental health condition.

Is it Mental Illness Deciding when a symptom might mean you have a mental illness can be difficult. For instance, what is considered an excessive fear — for example a fear of spiders or of public speaking — can vary from person to person. And in some cultures and situations, certain behaviors or thoughts may be considered normal, while in other cultures and situations they may be considered abnormal.

In general, signs and symptoms may indicate a mental illness when they make you miserable and interfere with your ability to function in your daily life. You may have trouble coping with stress, anger or other emotions. Or you may find it difficult to handle family, work or school responsibilities.

Symptoms

Signs and symptoms of mental illness can vary, depending on the particular disorder and other factors. Mental illness symptoms can affect emotions, thoughts and behaviors. Sometimes symptoms of a mental health disorder appear as physical problems.

Helping a Loved One If you have a loved one who you think may have symptoms of mental illness, have an open and honest discussion with him or her about your concerns. You may not be able to force someone to seek professional care, but you can offer encouragement and support. You can also help your loved one find a qualified doctor or mental health provider and make an appointment. You may even be able to go to an appointment with him or her. If you have a loved one who has harmed himself or herself, or is seriously considering doing so, take him or her to the hospital or call for emergency help.

Causes

There is no specific identifiable cause of mental illness. Mental illnesses, in general, are thought to be caused by a variety of genetic and environmental factors:

Inherited traits. Mental illness is more common in people whose biological family members also have a mental illness. You may have a genetic vulnerability to developing a mental illness, and your life situation may trigger the actual mental illness if you are already at risk

Biological factors. In addition to inherited traits, outside forces can sometimes be linked to mental illness — for example, traumatic brain injury or exposure to viruses or toxins while in the womb.

Life experiences. Challenging situations in your life, such as the loss of a loved one, financial problems and high stress, can play a role in triggering mental illness. Life experiences can also be a factor, such as an upbringing leading to poor self-esteem or a history of sexual or physical abuse. Life experiences can lead to unhealthy patterns of thinking linked to mental illness, such as pessimism or distorted ways of thinking

Brain chemistry. Known as biochemical causes, changes occurring in the brain are thought to affect mood and other aspects of mental health. Naturally occurring brain chemicals called neurotransmitters play a role in some mental illnesses. In some cases, hormonal imbalances affect mental health. It is thought that inherited traits, life experiences and biological factors can all affect brain chemistry linked to mental illnesses.

Risk Factors

Although the precise cause of mental illness isn’t known, certain factors may increase your risk of developing mental health problems, including:

  • Having a biological relative, such as a parent or sibling, with a mental illness
  • Experiences in the womb — for example, having a mother who was exposed to viruses or who had poor nutrition may be linked to schizophrenia
  • Undergoing stressful life situations, such as financial problems, a loved one’s death or a divorce
  • Having a chronic medical condition, such as cancer
  • Undergoing traumatic experiences, such as military combat or being assaulted
  • Use of illegal drugs
  • Being abused or neglected as a child
  • Having few friends or few healthy relationships

Mental illness is common. About 1 in 4 adults has a mental illness in any given year. And nearly half of them have more than one mental illness at the same time. Mental illness can begin at any age, from childhood through later adult years.

 Complications

Mental illness is a leading cause of disability. Aside from reducing your overall quality of life, untreated mental illness can cause severe emotional, behavioral and physical health problems. Mental illness can also cause legal and financial problems. Complications linked to mental illness include:

  • Unhappiness and decreased enjoyment of life
  • Family conflicts
  • Relationship difficulties
  • Social isolation
  • Substance abuse
  • Missed work or school, or other problems related to work or school
  • Heart disease and other medical conditions
  • Poverty
  • Homelessness
  • Suicide

 Classes of Mental Illness The main classes of mental illness are:

Mood disorders. These include disorders that affect how you feel emotionally. Examples include depression and bipolar disorder.

Anxiety disorders. Anxiety is an emotion characterized by the anticipation of future danger or misfortune, accompanied by feeling ill at ease. Examples include panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, phobias and post-traumatic stress disorder.

 Substance-related disorders. These include problems associated with the misuse of alcohol and illegal or legal drugs.

 Disorders of detachment from reality (psychotic disorders). These disorders cause detachment from reality (delusions). The most notable example of this is schizophrenia, although other classes of disorders can be associated with detachment from reality at times.

Disorders of thinking (cognitive disorders). These disorders affect your ability to think and reason. They include delirium, dementia and memory problems. Alzheimer’s disease is an example of a cognitive disorder.

Developmental disorders. This category covers a wide range of problems that usually begin in infancy, childhood or adolescence. They include autism, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and learning disabilities. But just because they’re all grouped in this category doesn’t necessarily mean they share a common cause or require the same treatment.

Personality disorders. A personality disorder is a characterized by a lasting pattern of emotional instability and unhealthy behavior that causes problems in your life and relationships. Examples include borderline personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder.

Other disorders. These include disorders of impulse control, sleep, sexual functioning and eating. Also included are dissociative disorders, in which your sense of self is disrupted, and somatoform disorders, in which there are physical symptoms with no clear cause.

 Serious Psychological Distress and Receipt of Mental Health Services

 In 2007, 10.9 percent of adults aged 18 or older (an estimated 24.3 million persons) experienced serious psychological distress (SPD) in the past year, and about two fifths of these(44.6 percent) received mental health services in the past year

Young adults aged 18 to 25 with SPD were less likely than their older counterparts to have received mental health services (29.4 vs. 47.2 percent among those aged 26 to 49 and 53.8 percent among those aged 50 or older)

Of those receiving mental health services, an estimated 6.9 percent received all three types of services (inpatient, outpatient, and prescription medication), 43.3 percent received only outpatient services and prescription medication, and 34.6 percent received only prescription medication

Mental health disorders affect persons in all age, racial, ethnic, educational, and socioeconomic groups, as well as persons of both genders. Monitoring the prevalence of mental health problems and receipt of treatment is vital to ensuring that the health needs of all Americans are met.

Serious psychological distress (SPD) is a nonspecific indicator of past year mental health problems, such as anxiety or mood disorders.

Prevalence of SPD

In 2007, an estimated 24.3 million adults aged 18 or older experienced SPD in the past year, representing 10.9 percent of the adult population. Past year SPD was higher among young adults aged 18 to 25 (17.9 percent) than among those aged 26 to 49 (12.2 percent) and those aged 50 or older (7.0 percent) (Figure 1). Females were more likely than males to have past year SPD (13.4 vs. 8.2 percent). Rates of past year SPD ranged from 14.0 percent among persons of two or more races to 6.4 percent among Asians.

 Serious Psychological Distress and Receipt of Mental Health Services

 In 2007, 10.9 percent of adults aged 18 or older (an estimated 24.3 million persons) experienced serious psychological distress (SPD) in the past year, and about two fifths of these(44.6 percent) received mental health services in the past year

Young adults aged 18 to 25 with SPD were less likely than their older counterparts to have received mental health services (29.4 vs. 47.2 percent among those aged 26 to 49 and 53.8 percent among those aged 50 or older)

Of those receiving mental health services, an estimated 6.9 percent received all three types of services (inpatient, outpatient, and prescription medication), 43.3 percent received only outpatient services and prescription medication, and 34.6 percent received only prescription medication

 Receipt of Mental Health Services

About two fifths (44.6 percent) of adults with past year SPD received mental health services in the past year. Young adults aged 18 to 25 with SPD were less likely than their older counterparts to have received mental health services (29.4 vs. 47.2 percent among those aged 26 to 49 and 53.8 percent among those aged 50 or older) (Figure 3). Among those with SPD, females were more likely to have received services than males (49.2 vs. 36.7 percent), and whites were more likely than Hispanics and blacks to have received mental health services (50.9 vs. 29.6 and 26.0 percent, respectively)

How We Think About Thinking

I Am
For You Too
How We Think is How We Act
The Power of Thought

 

I suffered what felt like a lifetime of living while trying the best that I could to live the life that I had. Through hurt and pain, I tried with all my might to understand the meaning of it all. My question was, who am I? What is my role and purpose in life. My road had been a long and weary one and the answer came to me when I was not waiting for it nor expected it. I was ready for the first time and I knew it. I had found what I was not aware that I was looking for, my Self. What I once could not see is clear to me now. I understand and must move what I have learned forward.

Though I had taken years of university courses in Psychology and studied the field extensively, that is not what did it for me. It did not hurt, certainly; I learned a great deal. No, it is much deeper than that. It is about letting what you know be known. Letting it come out when it has hurt for too long from keeping it in. It is how I see the world, life as it was given, and nature as its guardian. What I have written came to me as natural as the flowers that grow and the birds that sing. It is a process that flows easily. It was written as it was revealed to me. My whole life is the reason that I am, and what I now know is the foundation of my beliefs. In this life, you and I both have a role to play.

You will need to open your mind to allow what is outside to come in. Only then will you know if what you hear is what you want to keep. Take some time and think along with me here. You will certainly have to think in a way that is different from how you have before. What we have thought to be, may not be that way at all. And what we have been taught to believe does not always look the same when we learn how to think our own thoughts. This, of course, many of us thought we already knew.

When I say to think a thought, what I mean is, thought and thinking are not always the same. Stay with me here, this requires a new way of thinking. Your life will be better off for what you are able to digest from what I have to say. A thought is just a thought until you think about it. You cannot think of a thing until you have a thought. And our thoughts are based on how we perceive what we see, hear and feel. A thought just is until it is not. Think of a thought as being inert, not doing a thing from when we have it, until we think of what we want to do with it. The time between the two is quick. There is no way to measure. We are yet to know when someone has a thought or what they are thinking. And there is good reason we do not.

Thought is not only what we had. It is also, what we have. You thought and you have a thought. It is what we have thought, and what we have to think. A thought cannot be forced. To try to do so is called thinking. Once we have a thought, either we think it or it moves to our memory. It will not be undone. It is the same as it is with life. The life we have lived cannot be changed; it is what it is, forever. Think about this. What exist to us is all we know. And we decide what we are going to do with it.

Say you are walking down a long and winding road and along the way, you meet me. You will have a thought based on your perception of me. This is the first thing that will happen. You will then think about us. If you like what you see, you will continue on your way. If for some reason—that can only be known by you—you do not feel safe, you will go in another direction or proceed with caution. Or you may not have strong feelings either way. No matter how you feel, your feelings will be based on what you think. And you will act according to how you feel. We perceive, have a thought, we think, we feel we act. That is the course of an action process, as I believe it to be.

We are taught how to think and must decide what to think. We should not think in a way that tells us things we do not need to hear. Your thoughts belong to you. No one can think for you, though many will try. All that I say about thought, thinking and how we perceive the world around has just one purpose. I am not in any way trying to tell you what to think, I am merely giving you something to think.

We are all born to think, but have to learn to think better. One of the most difficult things to take when I was child is that I could be told what thoughts to think. I did not want to be hurt, and what I heard did just that. We must decide the thoughts we choose to think. No one can do this for us. When we are taught from the start by someone who cares, we can. Thinking is what feeds the mind and tells it what to do.

“I had a thought but I don’t remember what it was.” Have you said this to yourself? The reason is it was not a full thought. When this happens, it was not a thought that held the mind’s attention. (I did not think it was important then, maybe later.) It is my belief that there are two kinds of thought. Have you been asked by someone what you think about a thought that they have. As in, I had a thought about us going shopping today. What do you think about that?

Their thought is the first thought. You can answer but you should not until you know what they think. You could ask, what do you have in mind, what do you think? Your thought then, is a pending thought. A pending thought is still just a thought. As a reminder, there is no greater thing that we have the sole responsibility for than when, what and how we think. It cannot be talked about enough; it determines how we live, if we live, and what is done with us when we do not. It also determines whether we win or lose, go or stay or just be in the way.

Now back to the question, what do you do with your pending thought. You do not know what you think yet. It is a thought that has to wait for the first thought. Someone is yet to think and act. It is the person with the first thought. When asked what you think about a thing, if you do not have a thought about it, you will think nothing. Therefore, there is nothing you can tell them. On one level, they may want your help to make up their mind. They have to think first. Otherwise, they are asking you to think for them. This you cannot do.

To try to think for someone, is not good thinking. One can, let another decide for them. But it will not be their decision until they decide. To think is a process that must end. The power of thinking is in when you act. Before you do, you can feel happy or sad, good or bad. How you act, how I act, is the best that can be known about how we think. This is true no matter what.

We should not act on what we think someone is going to say. That is, to the extent that you have your say before they do. It is a fault that I had during my early years. I did not see it as a problem. Though I could tell, there was a problem. It was not well received. I was this way because I was always on guard. Trying to protect my feelings the best that I could. This was my stance and my ready mode. Wait until you know all that you should. What we think about may not be what we think it is. That is because what we perceive and think we know may not be what is true. Perception can be reality, or not. What is to us, is not always, what is.

Thinking is a process, there is a start and there is a finish each time we think a thought. Once you start, you cannot stop until you are done. What we expose our Self to will be the source for the thoughts that enters our mind—who and what we are around—it is then up to us, what we do with them. We should not let thoughts that are not wanted stay where they do not belong. These kinds of thoughts we should refuse to have anything to do with. Let them go to your memory and let them stay there. Do not think them. They are of no value; no good can from it.

We rule over the mind. That is, we should. Never let it tell you what to do. You and your mind decide what to do with your thoughts. Do not do a thing that will cause you to act in a way other than how you wish. How we act is all that can be known about who we are. There are things that others do that we prefer they did not. We do not control this. We are in charge of how we act. That is the only affect we can have on what others do.

Thoughts will come. We cannot force them from our head. We can, pretend they are not there. They will remind us that they are. Before we act, we should be sure of what we think. What we do next depends on it. When you have good thoughts, it is more likely that good things will happen. Just to think good thoughts is good. It changes how we feel and is the mainstay of a content mind. Bad thoughts can seep in when there is fertile ground for a bad seed to be planted. Do not let bad thoughts take root.

When we think that good thoughts are bad or bad thoughts are good, it is not a good way to think. This is a sign of disordered thinking. It is usually brought on when we have allowed ourselves to be confused by the life we are living. There is someone there who should not be. It could be you. The mind is doing it and you are letting it happen. It is best to remember, that good comes from good and bad comes from bad. There is no other way. Bad can follow good things. Good can follow bad. But neither thing can come from the other thing. There is a point where one stops and the other starts. We will not change what is, no matter what we do. It has made its mark. It matters not if it is good or bad. What is done next will be the new what is. What has happened is over.

We should not talk or think of the bad when things are good. On a nice sunny day, have you heard someone say, or have you said, but it is supposed to be cloudy tomorrow. How can you ever enjoy what is there when you cannot leave good enough alone. But when we feel bad about ourselves, whether we acknowledge it or not, we will not let the good take root. It may not sound like much. It does show a certain frame of mind.

We should always try to think of the good when things are bad. It is cloudy today, but the sun may be out tomorrow. It is the right thing to do because we feel what we think. Thinking should lift the soul and stir the mind. How we think our thoughts forms the foundation on which our lives are built. There is not a thing to think but a thought.

There will be times when you may wonder what it all means and if you should continue. The new tends to be that way, which is how we learn. Be it works of art, literature or merely understanding the use of a product you recently purchased. We must first understand and follow the instructions for best use.

You do not know how good a thought is until you know how good it was. Thought is language for the mind. It drives both actions and words. And there is no such thing as a bad word. The use of a word decides what it is worth. How we arrange our words say what we mean. We should never say what we do not mean to say. Think.

When we think, we are having a talk with ourselves. You can do this two ways. You think your thoughts to yourself. That is when you talk to yourself and not say a word. The other, which I have done since I was a child, is to think your thoughts out loud. This is a good way to discuss what is on your mind with yourself when no one else is around. We think for a reason. The reason is our thoughts. That is the only way for them to take on a life of their own. Not all thoughts are good for us to think. A thought of things best left alone is one of them. But we have to do something with them once we have one. It has to be processed. You either think it or send it back. What greater know how could you have than how to think good thoughts.

Ask me what I think. Do not tell what to think. Think for you. Let no one think this is what he or she can do. They will think this only if we have given them a reason to think so. It would be a reason that had the look of weakness. Our thoughts should be for our own well-being and those that we serve. No one can think the thought of another. We think our thoughts and think about how others act. We have to be aware of a thing to have thoughts about it. To shrink and expand our world is the best way to gauge the thoughts that we think. What I mean is, the limits we place, or not, on the people and things we allow in our world. There are some things we are better off without. Not all belongs in our head. Because once it is, it will forever be in our memory.

The Brain

I Am
For You Too

 

The Control Center
The Grey Matter That Matters

The power of the brain is what guides our lives. It is the first organ to grow from the seed of life. The foundation for the brain is set early. Three weeks after conception, a sheet of embryonic cells called the neural plate folds and fuses into the neural tube. This tissue will become the central nervous system. The brain’s “master” role is evident by nature. Encased by the skull bone, it is our most protected organ and is the command center for all of our actions. What we fail to realize, at times, is that it provides us with all we need to do our own thinking. “Use your head.”

The brain is made up of physical parts and has a mind of its own. Once the brain knows it does not forget unless that is what it wants to do. More times than not, it is to protect us. Of course, when there is damage to the brain, which can happen, it is not so clear.

The brain records all things that are of our world and there is no erase button on board to be used. It can figure it out. It is, of its own design, this is, as I believe it to be. As much as we know, there is still little known about how the brain works. I think that there is no way we will understand all there is to know. That is because it is not meant to be. Humans would be in charge, and we know how well we do when we are.

Our brains have the same makeup, but different—as we are—in what it can do for us. Our thoughts are one of them. As long as there is the power of thought, we will be learning about how we think, and the workings of the brain. There can be no end. Just as it is with life, there will always be much left to learn. The end of thought means there is no more. Life, as we know it is over. The brain no longer works. It is dead.

For a detailed description (by Encarta) of the brain, continue reading below:

The brain is the control center for every activity necessary to survival.

The adult human brain is made up of approximately 100 billion neurons (nerve cells), neuroglia (supporting-tissue) cells and other tissues. Neurons transmit and analyze all communication within the brain and other parts of the nervous system. Neuroglial cells are twice as numerous as neurons and provide structural support to the neurons. Three protective meninges (membranes) cover the brain. A clear liquid, the cerebrospinal fluid, surrounds the entire brain and protects the internal portion from varying pressures. This fluid also transports chemical substances within the nervous system.

The brain appears as three connected parts: the cerebrum, the cerebellum, and the brain stem. Two other major parts, the thalamus and the hypothalamus, lie above the brain stem underneath the cerebellum. Most high-level brain functions take place in the cerebrum. Its two large hemispheres are divided into five lobes: the frontal, parietal, temporal, and occipital lobes and the insula. The cerebrum receives information from the sense organs and sends motor commands (signals that stimulate activity in the muscles or glands) to other parts of the brain and the body. Many areas of the cerebral cortex (surface) correspond to specific functions, such as vision, hearing, speech, emotions, thinking, and remembering.

The cerebellum coordinates body movements. It is divided into two lobes connected by a bundle of white fibers. The cerebellum coordinates voluntary movements by fine-tuning motor commands from the cerebrum. The cerebellum also maintains posture and balance by controlling muscle tone and sensing limb positions.

The thalamus and the hypothalamus connect the cerebrum to the brain stem. The thalamus relays sensory signals to and from the cerebral cortex. All sensory input to the brain, except the sense of smell, connects to the thalamus. The hypothalamus lies beneath the thalamus and regulates vital drives and activities, such as eating, drinking, sleep, emotional behavior, and sexual activity. It also controls the internal organs, interacts closely with the pituitary gland, and helps coordinate brain stem activities.

The brain stem is responsible for sustaining the basic functions of life, such as breathing and blood pressure. It contains relay stations for neurons transmitting signals to the cerebral cortex, as well as many reflex centers— pathways carrying sensory information and motor commands. Sensory and motor nerve fibers connecting the brain with the rest of the body cross over to the opposite side in the brain stem. The left half of the brain communicates with the right half of the body and the right half of the brain with the left half of the body.

Twelve pairs of cranial nerves connect the brain with the head and neck. Some are motor nerves, controlling muscle movement. Some are sensory nerves, conveying information from the sense organs. Others contain fibers for both sensory and motor impulses.

Be sure to feed your brain with the food of knowledge.

Your Mind is Talking

I Am
For You Too

“It is what got me here, and would not let me leave until it carried me away.”

If you want to listen to what I have to say, then say what you have to say. Nothing but the truth is the only way we can understand who we are and how we feel.

My name is __________and I live in___________. I am__________. My______________. I now realize that_________. And it is because____________. When I was growing up my_______. I got_________. Why________. There are times when________. I have tried_________. No one________. I need________. If_________. Then________. They__________. It_________. I am open to__________. I just feel________. I think_________.

To understand what comes next, you have to become a part of what you hear when you read. But you do have to listen to what you hear. They are not the same. You have to try to listen. Hearing you do not. You have to let it sink in until it becomes a vision in your mind’s eye. You do have to feel it to see it. And you have to see it with not only your eyes, but with your mind to believe it.

Much of what I say may not be clear to you on first reading. It will all be clear to you once you understand. It may take more than a first glance; change is not always understood on the first look. And this is change, and not just for change sake. What we think we know is not all there is. This is just another way to look at life. It is not so much the comfort of a story, as it is to look at how we think what we do, and why. There is a reason why our lives are the way they are. No matter the way we live. For me it became a dependent state of mind.

It keeps me from sinking, but it doesn’t allow me to swim. 

You can only tread water for so long. You have to swim or you will sink. I had not learned how. You are taught, or learn from what you think about what you see. And what we see may not always be what we think it is.

It all begins with a walk through the mind. At some point, and I am not sure when, I became dependent. I looked around, and it was just there. I now needed help from someone else so that I could help me. What was this? I never knew that I thought this way. One thing I do know, it is a sign of weakness. As I looked back, I realized it was nothing new. My upbringing was a breeding ground for this type of behavior. And what had been set in motion would get in my way.

The dependent mindset had come to life in my mind and would tug on me for many years to come. It held me back and became a way of life. And many of my choices were made with this way of thinking. I would reach for the quick and easy. You will do that when you are willing to settle for less than your best. I paid for it by letting go of what dignity I had left. The jobs that I had growing up could not help me overcome the weakness that was in me. It was all deep down inside, it held on, and would not let go. I have had wonderful jobs, and did not have the mind to hold on to them.

This did not change my dependent way of thinking. Could be I lost the jobs on purpose, I don’t know, just a thought. Then again, yes, I do know. No one would do this on purpose. It was my mind, again, telling me what to do. This is when I should have been the one doing the talking. I did not do the best for myself and it was all caused by my insecure feelings and low self-esteem. Which had always been there, it seems. This in turn caused me to think in ways that made no sense. I was not given the space to learn to love myself. You do not hurt that which you love. And hurt is what I was doing. This is the reason for it all. You have to have it to give it.

My roots were planted in loose soil. It caused me to feel uncertain about who I was. All I could do was search for something to hold on to. Only a drive to survive is what you own. And one day you open your eyes. It is then that you realize you have become dependent on those around you. It got the best of me and drove me to the wall.

When you live your life this way, you have to keep always the edge, and this you cannot do. When you let go of your grip and try to be yourself, your advantage will give way and so will your hold. You have to be yourself first because that is who you are. When we are not being who we are, it will not be us they know. If you do not know this experience, think what it would be like. The hunter is now the game. Do not think your “Self” in to its grip. There are things in life that must be as we expect them to be. We depend on these things. As we do life itself. To depend is a way of life. The way it is meant to be. To be dependent on a person, place or thing is just a way to say, I quit. It shows a lack of Self awareness.

We should never think we cannot do a thing on our own. It is not how we should live. Never think you have no choice. In a relationship, on the job, or any other time or place you have to feel you are free to be you. We have the right to be who we are. Our role in life depends on it. We can be no one else. We only do this when we find it hard for whatever the reason to be ourselves. No one can know who we are. How can they, if you do not know yourself. Though they will try, with your help, to tell you who you are. If we are ever lost, we must find ourselves. There is no other way to look at it. We can search but we will not find a thing more important to us than being aware of the Self. If not, not a thing will work. You are the only one who can say who you are.

Our world has to be made ready for us before we arrive. We are born for others to take care of us. It is meant to be that way—that is—until we can take care of ourselves. We have to be made ready to do so. These are the things that we get from those who are responsible for our care. If we do not, our life can be a difficult road to travel. And no one will be eager to help if he or she thinks you should already know what you do not. Many will see this as the fault of the one who has been hurt by this. That is, unless they have a reason to care. Not at all; though, if they think they have no choice for doing so.

Depend not on a source when you do not know what you give for what you get. This is when you are being helped and you do not know why. For that which you are not sure, not a thing about it can be for sure. There is not much we can be sure of when we are not sure of our own Self.

I could not lift myself up. My mind was holding me down. To be a dependent when you should not, is not a good thing to be. It is what you do when you do not have confidence in yourself. It will not let you grow. I was in a relationship where I was being held back by my own thoughts. Not knowing what would cross the line if I could muster the strength to be me. In my mind, my status was always in doubt.

When you are dependent, you do not know if your feelings are true or you are just trying to survive. I would do what I thought I must do. I was bound by my status. You don’t know if you should draw a breath when you are not sure if you should breathe. My thoughts were disordered. They caused me to think myself in to this. It would be another step like the other steps that got me here. I did not want to leave, but I could not stay. I at last heard me calling. And I listened to what I had to say.It was the only way I could be me. There was no room for me there. Of course, we do have to depend on life for what we need. It is one of the rules of nature. It is how we survive.

To depend and being dependent on are not the same. One we must and the other we should try with all our might not to be.

Introduction

I Am
For You Too
Now is The Time
Now is The Time

Why We Feel the Way We Do

You may ask, what could motivate some of us to do what we do. The thing we can do to know the answer, is to know it when we see it. We are the gatekeepers of our mind. What I say now and what I will be saying is not academic. I simply look at life in a way you may never have. And I will give you answers to questions that you did not know you ever had. It is how I see the world and life as it was given. From the beginning to the end, it is all about life, and the way we think.

What I have to say is not fiction it is about life and our existence, as I believe it to be. It is not about what we have been told. It is about the way that it is. What is here will help you to know that to see, you must look. You may, see you in what I have to say. When you do not, maybe it will be someone you know and love that comes to mind. Or perhaps one of those troubled souls who you see act out their hurt in all the wrong places when there seems to be no reason. Now you will know what that might be. It is a matter of knowing the real you. The person you see when all else is peeled away. Through growth and enlightenment, we can all change the course of our life, if that is what we need or want to do.

This blog is about how we think, feel, act, and why. It is a guide in how to live a better life through our thoughts. It will help you to understand how we all, think. And will show that if how we think is disordered our lives will be the same. How we think is the root cause of our negative feelings. The focus is on the Self: your Self, her Self, him Self and my Self―all of us.  I did not always know what I know now. I will share what I know with those who will listen. What I have written is the truth, as I know it to be.

First, you have to listen. The more you listen, the more you will understand what it is that you hear. You are sure to think, and feel what you hear if you listen. There will be truths that will cause you to change how you perceive the world around you. This is good. It will challenge the way you think. If it is not a cause to think, what cause is it? I had to think about me. And you will have to think about you.

For those times when we need to connect with what it means when we say, “that’s life,” this will be a reference. It is a way to look at the true nature of what is and how it came to be. The truth tells all when it is told. It is what we have to depend on. It is about how we view the world that each of us lives in. Our world is not just what is around us. It is also what is in our mind, and the things that go on in our head. It is for all of us who have had thoughts about why we think the way we do. Change maybe a stranger. As you step closer, you may see a friend.

Peace

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