Thinking our Thoughts is what we do


Thinking our thoughts is what we live to do. There is nothing more critical to your sense of Self and well-being than your thoughts and how you think them. Our thoughts and how we think them are what determine what we do and say. What we want from our lives depends on it.  They are our own and one thing we have that no one can take from us. So, embrace that power with all your might.

Thoughts will come and go, but they do not go away. You will not undo a thought. Once you have a thought, you think it, or it lives on in your memory as just a thought. There is not a thing that a thought will reverse to. Though, your perception of which our thoughts are based might change. In turn, this could change what you think. You can have the thought again. But not think about it in the same way or manner. If it connects with things in your life, it will move forward.

You must know the existence of people, places, and things to have a thought about them. When you do know but do not remember, you know no less. A new thought will remind you if there is a need. You will not know how much you know until you know more than you know now. We do not use what we know as we learned it. It was only information then. We use what we learn after it becomes knowledge. Knowledge is when you have a full and complete understanding of what you have learned. That is how and why it is knowledge. Know what you think you know. Know what you do not. Knowledge will do you no harm. However, how you think about and act upon what you know can. You can be perfect in what you do. However, you will not be perfect in how you think.



Life depends on decision-making

Life is full of decisions that you and I must make. There are times when you have to decide on what you do not know. If you do not know what is around the corner, you may choose not to go there.  Our thoughts can lift us up or hold us down. It depends on how we think them. You have no power greater than to think your thoughts. No one knows what you are thinking but you; they only see how you act. And—of course—you act on what you think and feel. Thinking is fuel for the mind. How great it is to use.

By its nature, we tend to spend more time thinking a negative thought, not that we think more negative thoughts. And it is for a good reason—it requires more attention just by its nature.  It can cause you to imagine the worst, and you can dwell on it to no end. If it does leave, it will keep coming back until you think it through.

Positive feels good. Negative does not.

The most useless and damaging thought anyone can think about is what they think others think about them. It causes discomfort, worry, and low self-esteem for those open to it and is the direct result of disordered thinking. To be overly concerned about what others think about you is self-defeating with no redeeming value. You should not let that cause you a minute of pain. Let no one, including yourself, influence your thoughts to make you feel bad—though many will try, and so will you. More than likely, they would not approach you with this in mind if they did not think they could. How you act is how you are known. No one can know what is on your mind.

How you act is what will lead others to believe what they do about you. That is if they do not have their reasons to think otherwise. But for those with no agenda, it is how you are thought of when they think of you. How else can they know who you are? When you change how you think and act—if that is what you need to do—you change what is thought of you.

Painful thoughts are painful to think

When you have painful thoughts, there is a cause. Painful thoughts, if you take time to think them, will show in how you act. You can come to depend on them and wallow in your misery, perversely being relieved by the pain. And then take it a step further and feel that it is normal. But, of course, it never is. Yes, it does hurt to think the wrong thoughts, and it cannot be realistically rationalized away. What you think should not be the cause of pain. And the reason for thinking this way, has its roots in childhood. No matter what actions of yours stirs it now. When in pain, you will make hurtful decisions for yourself and others as well.

what a frustrating mess

A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Lose
Disordered mind has no place to go

You cannot be the best at what you say and do when your thinking is disordered. One of the most difficult tasks in life is to change how you think, when that is what you need to do. You must understand how and why you think the way you do. You have to know how to think the way that is best for you. Do not let how you think, and act be based on thoughts you are not sure of, for how you act will be unpredictable; this you know. Now, you must admit that you need to change how you think. That is the first step to being you, the real you.

Do not listen to a disordered mind and let it tell you what to do. It matters not if it is your mind and your way of thinking or that of someone else. You and your mind are where you should not be if what is said and done and what you tell yourself makes you feel uncomfortable and ill at ease. One important thing to keep in mind is that no one can make you feel any way other than how you wish unless you have given them permission to do so. And this is evident to them by how you treat yourself. They “see” you; you do not. And this is a true example of “they see you coming before you get there.” Your reputation has indeed preceded you.

How you think is how you will act and when how you think is disordered, there is something wrong with the thoughts you have to think. You are insecure about who you are, or should I say who you think you are. You are better than you think. When you think the way you do, you will see yourself build your life and the things you care about up just to tear them down. You will repeat this behavior and thinking throughout your life until you change how you think. You will do this without fail. It is a pattern that does not change. That is until you change.   

When your thinking is disordered, it can, and often does, cause hypersensitivity. No one—even those relatives and friends who care about you—wants to stand close to the “flame.” Few of them will say they do not want to be scorched, but it is what most of them are thinking. But some who would come near if not for fear of being upset by your words and actions. When you change how you think, how others treat you will change as well. You know the pain of living with how you think and just how hard it is living with what is going on in you.

When how you think is disordered and how you act is preceding you as you live your life, you are not soon to realize it. When things are not right, we look at all the other places, first, for an answer. For sure, though, we will not harm ourselves with full knowledge of what we are doing. It goes against the first law of nature. That is growth and survival. And to grow, you must be strong. You have to believe it to see it, and when you see it, you will know. What do you believe?

self confidence


If you are not sure of what you think about your thoughts, you will not have the confidence to make informed decisions in your best interest. You should not allow thoughts that bring more weight than relief to think to take up room in your mind. Perhaps another time if they come back not the same, but similar. If—however—you choose to continue, it will cause mixed feelings. Then, yes, you will act in ways that you cannot always foresee or predict. Do not let these kinds of thoughts take hold. It will leave you with a conflicting view of what is real. You must see these thoughts for what they are: a type of bad dream or recurring nightmare that does not want to go away. When you do not, you will bow to the weight, which is sure to lead to “Self” sabotage.

I cannot say it enough about how we act is what others use to judge us, and it is the face that we show the world. Thoughts and feelings are not for us to see. The best we can know about the thoughts of others and how they feel is by how they act. This is how others know us, as well. Plainly put, we relate to each other by the actions we take and the moves we make. And as we about, no one has an obligation to understand us. That is a personal responsibility if you wish to be understood. And that you should.

It is not as hard for you to change how you act as it is not to. You do it all the time. When you start to think better, you will act better. If you do not see you—think—whom do you see. We touch others by what we say and do, and likewise they touch us by what they do. How we think is where it all begins. And there is not a time when we do not think. That is not the problem. What we think can be.

When how you think and act is the result of the pain you feel, you must trace your pain to where it leads. That would be your childhood. Your childhood is real, and its effect on you—good or bad— is real. You must look back one last time. First, though, we have to let down our defense, drop our guard, maybe, for the first time. The hurt that you feel maybe clouded by time, but as you know, it does not change a thing. We were a child in an adult world. It does not matter; it is the thoughts of our childhood that hurts. If it is not you, it is someone you know, whether you know it or not.

If the trip is difficult to take, try being me, and I will be you. It will help you understand how the millions who suffer here and around the world may feel. How they act is a way to learn about us. You can do it after you change how you think. Yes, many are hurting. The pain has its roots in and grows from a life of being interfered with. We have to go back to this point. It is where our path to the right way of thinking begins.

Is it the way we remember it to be? Some things we can change, others we have to change how we think about them. The past will never change. Memories of days since passed should not be your guide. It is for a good reason. What we can recall about the past can change. Then our memories are more false than they are true. They tell us what was, not what is or what is going to be. You can go to the past with your thoughts and thinking when you want; just remember to come back to the present. There is no room there. All the things there have been. The past is filled.  

Spending too much time thinking about the past than “living” in the present has its problems, and they are not small. For one, you are looking back when you should be looking ahead. Life is in front of you, and when not paying attention, your path forward will be hazardous to you and the turmoil as a result, will cause problems for those around as well.

If you suffer, and there is not just one way, you do not know why. If you knew why you would not suffer. The why is you tell yourself that you are not worthy. You think you are not good enough and do not deserve to be yourself and be happy. Do not say that in any form. If you do, know that it is not true. The Self does not want to hear it. When we hurt ourselves, there is a memory that has hurt us. When love is not there, the place where it should be will not be left empty. Hurt will fill its place.

The drive to survive is born with us. It is the first law of nature. Do not do harm to what has been given. This will cause grief and will harm others in your life, as well. Most of the problems in our lives today are caused by how we think. Not how others think. We bring the problems on ourselves. Many times, it is when you think you know the thoughts of others as well as you know your own.


You can look but not see and hear but not listen.


You have to be prepared to learn. You must learn how to listen and listen to learn. You have to listen to what you read. Listen to what is said to you and listen to your Self. When we are born, we do not know how to listen. It is an acquired skill. You first hear, and then you listen. When you listen, you feel the sound of your thoughts. If you want to think about what you read, you have to listen to what you read.

To hear is not to listen. It is not the same. It takes no effort to hear. This is if you want to or not. To hear is one of the senses. It is there by nature and has no on and off switch. The senses let us live and are the means to be in touch with our world. They make life worth living. They are tools of nature. To listen is not a sense it is a skill. If you want to listen, it must be what you want to do.

You must have a deep sense of purpose and a strong drive to learn. Not just, hear what is said or what you read. When you listen, what you hear or read has your attention. Your mind is closed but to this. When you focus on what you hear to where your mind takes over, you are listening. In so many ways, it is much like meditation. What we listen to can be calming when we feel it. You have to want to learn to listen. Until you do, you will just hear.

Our lives are shaped by how well we know how to listen. Just because you can hear does not mean you are going to listen. We hear with our ears, but we listen with our mind. The words begin to sink in. It is then that you are focused. You are there. And will see what we really mean when we say the things that we do. You can look but not see and hear but not listen.

There is a time to listen. There is a time to think. There is a time to talk. Listen, think, and then talk, to know when it is your time is what determines the outcome. These are the things we must know for knowledge to flow. It is the way to have give and take. All will have a chance to express their thoughts. It works best when one talks and one listens. The key is to know when it is your turn. When you listen, you do that, not a thing more. We do this when our mind tells us to. This is how you think what is being said.

You cannot be sure of what you have heard if you have not listened. As a result, what you say may not be what you mean. You can talk and hear at the same time, but you will not be listening. If you try, it would be like trying to think two thoughts at the same time. Neither one can be done. Our mind moves to what we are thinking of. There is no dual track for how we think. And a thought will not divide. Just as you cannot say two words at the same time.

When we say what needs to be heard, someone will listen. You should not say a thing until you say it to yourself. No matter what you say, you should make sure to say what you know. There is a lesson in all the things we say and do.


Though our life is always on one track—it does not mean we have to have a one-track mind. The mind is meant to explore the possibilities, to wonder, to create, and to consider what is and what can be. There is no limit to where the mind will go, so there are times when we have to call it back.

label me not with your words


Do You Know Your Place

Label me not with your words. If not, how will I know who or what you are? You must know where you belong. If not, you are lost. There are things a society must have in place for us to thrive and grow. Life would not be the same without them. The means and use of its tools to function is one of them. One such tool for all groups is the use of symbols and labels. There must be labels that we know by shapes and words to make sense of our world. We will not have a thought worthy of thinking about anything if it does not have a label. Without one, you would not know what it is. Nor will we know its purpose.

We use labels to know what we are doing. It all began with life and the world, as we know it. We were born with instinct so that we could survive in this new world. Some say that they do not have a place. And they refuse to be labeled or “put in their place,” which is a wrong way to think. If you do not have a place, you do not have a place to be. Of course, we are all in and at a place. Although, it may not be the place we want to be. We were born to belong, to fit in, not to be alone. We all have a place of our own that we only have to find. You will know that you are there—where you belong—when you find it because you will feel it.



If someone tells you or it is merely inferred that you should stay in your place, do not be offended, for you will be where you are until you are not. Now, if you say to yourself that you have no place, that it is somehow an insult to be told to stay there, and of course, it is “stay” that is most objectionable, it will only cause you harm. Just take a moment to think about what you are saying when you say this. We all have a place starting in our mother’s womb. It comes with a label that tells who we are. It will tell where our place is in the order of our birth, as well, and this does not change.

We have labels that will change as we change over time as our roles in life change. When we feel that we do not have a place, we will get less from the place we are in now. And when we move on, we take less with us and have less to work with where we are going.

When you are not content with your place, change your place, and your label will change: You do this by changing the way you think. Some go back to school. Others make sure to fill out the space they are in now—getting the most from what they have. You change the way you think by being aware of how you think. Everyone has a place, and that place is where you want to be. No one can misplace you but you. Each of us defines who we are. The future is in our hands. Even with its ebb and flow of life. Know what it is you see when you look. I am who I have been looking for—who are you?

mission possible with you and your mind



“To tell a person what to think will not teach them how to think.’ We are how we think.”

The “mission” has been accepted: Here is where you should be if you are someone you know has ever lived with the hurt and pain that only a dysfunctional childhood or emotional trauma can breed. The seed is planted and grows from a family life— no matter its makeup—that does not provide the nurturing, caring, and protection to produce a healthy mind.

Childhood must be a safe and loving place for a child to grow strong of mind and character. But, unfortunately, the world’s troubles—as we see and even experience them—seeds are firmly planted and fostered in the minds of children who are now adults. And from those seeds, a way of thinking grew that is destructive to each of us and the environment.

What is allowed is done

  • Racism
  • Sexism
  • Ageism
  • Hate
  • Wars
  • Environmental Destruction
  • Fear Mongering
  • You Name It



Why Do I Feel The Way That I Do

You may ask, and you would not be alone in doing so, “why do I feel the way that I do.” When not all is right, and you think it should be, and you see no reason it should not, disordered thinking is the cause of your anguish. When how you think is disordered, it takes you further away from your true Self. The mind now has a mind of its own. It is making decisions without you. There is no time or place that this should be. You are the master of your mind and must always be in charge of you.

There is but one stage of your life where your mind will take leave of you. It all stems from early childhood trauma and a dysfunctional family life, which allows you few good thoughts to think. And how you think today has its roots in what happened to you “yesterday.” My mission is to show you why and how this might happen. And there will be times when I will do this in a not-so-conventional way. It does not mean that I have strayed; it merely says that the road back to Self will at times be without a marker. You must have faith.

Using current events, I will show how the actions and behaviors of “news-makers,” both public and private, that result in adverse outcomes originate and have their roots in early childhood. You do not make decisions that will cause harm to others and the very source of our existence, if not for dysfunction in the family setting and possible mental defect passed from one generation to the next.

Some of what I say could cause you—when you first read it—to question how it applies to how you think. And my answer will be, all things you do require you to think. My words will challenge some of the things you have come to believe as certain truths. It will take you up, around, and back again, but the steps will lead back to you. Where the road leads, we will follow. You must know how you think to think better. You must always know what is on your mind. There is no wrong to be said here, for, after all, it will be how you think and feel about what you see. Who are you? Do you really know? Are you, you, or are you the product of someone else’s invention?

It Is How You Think

Through this blog, I will address many of the issues that revolve around why we all think the way we do. We will see how changing how you think will change how you feel and relate to the people, places, and things in your life. And you will come to see how becoming the true person you are meant to be will give you the vision to see what is, not what you may have thought it to be. You will come to a better understanding of your thoughts and your thinking process just as I have come to know the real me. I am talking about the person I was created to be. Because for sure, you have to be you, and I have to be me.

When you try to be someone you are not, you are no one until you find yourself again. Life is made better, or worse, by how we think. And to change HOW YOU THINK—if that is what you need to do—is a good mission to be on.

What we do here will not only better the lives of those who follow “It Is How You Think,” it will also touch those who are touched by those who do. My goal is to give you the tools to help you change how you think, therefore, how you feel and act. It is a new day and a new way. If you, a family member, or friend has been touched in any way by childhood trauma or otherwise mishandled by others in your life, this is the place to be.

Learn to Listen and Listen to Learn


What is here—if you listen—will take you where you did not know that you had ever been. It will help you see where you thought you were, is not where you were at all. It is about change: A change in how you think. There are no words here formed that will tell you what to think. Before help can help you, you must help your Self. There is no therapy, counseling, or medication that will be effective until you do. When I say you, I am talking about the Self, your Self, her Self, and him Self—all of the Selves who need to find their way back.

Push Back Against Your Resistance

The Self is your core; it is your soul—it is the essence of you. It is where you go to be your Self. A place you would never leave willingly. Our power and strength come from our Self. It is how we survive through the worst of times. If the ways of life have forced you away, it is your choice to go back. First, though, you must have the will to do so. It is not an easy thing to do until you know how. And nothing is hard to do. You just do not know how to do it yet. Now you will know.


Mission Enlightenment

From Self to Self is when you have achieved an enlightened way of thinking. It is not what is done to you. It is what you do for yourself that determines what your life will be. You must change your way of thinking to get back in touch with your Self. The best that you can ever be is to be you. You must always be true to Self. Never do a thing to take away from who you are.

What we do here will clear the clutter from your mind. It will guide you through what it takes to live a better life by examining and understanding your thoughts and how to think them. It will be made clear how disordered thinking is the root cause of negative feelings and behavior. You will see your Self as it is, not how you may have thought (been encouraged to believe) it to be. You will relate to and recognize a part of yourself that you have only known in passing.

What you will hear if you listen will open up a way of thinking that will allow you to become the person you were meant to be. The real you. Welcome home.

The body and the mind both have the ability to heal themselves, but the body puts up the least resistance.


HATE: the seed did grow in the heart of woman

The Birth of Hate

In the Heart of Woman, the Seed Did Grow


HATE: Be warned that you read The Birth of Hate at the risk of having shifting emotions, rising passions, and unrestrained thoughts. It does not promote neither does it condemn an ideology, religion, or cultural belief. Instead, it is about what is, was, or could have been. You will love it, hate it, or not. What you will not do is feel nothing.

What is hate? Why do we do it, and when did it start. There are many answers to the question, with no one definition settled on by past and present-day thinkers. Though keep in mind that hate is brought on most often by the action of others. There is a cause, and it does bring about an effect. We are not born with hate in our hearts; it does come to life in our minds. It is an emotion that lives on as long as we are reminded that it is there: a flame once lit that is not easy to snuff out. And the source of our hate and resentment is what gives it strength. The strength to smolder long after the flame has died down. It is so strong it often clouds our judgment and causes us to think thoughts we rather not. 

Here is what some of the great minds have to say about hate.

  • Sigmund Freud defined hate as “an ego state that wishes to destroy the source of its unhappiness.”
  • Based on writings by James W. Underhill, loving and hating invariably involve an object, or a person, and therefore, a relationship with something or someone.
  • Penguin Dictionary of Psychology defines hate as a “deep, enduring, intense emotion expressing animosity, anger, and hostility towards a person, group, or object.”
  • René Descartes viewed hate as “an awareness that something is bad combined with an urge to withdraw from it.”

There are many more who have their take on what it is when we hate. One thing is for sure, it is a strong feeling. For me, that has no redeeming value; though, some feel that it does. I believe what my life has told me, and so should you. But, if what we want is to understand what hate is, we must first know why we do it and when did we start. So, with that, why don’t we start at the beginning. What do you believe? Were we created, or did we evolve? Either way, there was a first of its kind for all there is.

Created by God or just evolved, Man by nature has the role to rule over the woman.

Did this statement cause your pulse to quicken and your heart to race? I ask you this because I think it may have. And if you are a woman, it is most likely so. It is no wonder, though, no matter our point of view or that of the bible, all do not share the pointed message that Man shall rule over Woman. On its face, the Book of Genesis reads in a way that could cause you to come away with the belief that God was the first to hate or to be hated.  The thing is, it did come from somewhere. And just where is that place. An assortment of philosophers, pontificators, and other “deep-thinkers” have their theories and thoughts of what hate is. I will leave that to them.

What is more important to me is how is it that hate came to be at all. How and why it started. Follow along with me as I lay out my thoughts.


In The Beginning

Genesis is the book of the beginning, of the creation of life and all that is. The bible tells us this. Two verses certainly could be the seeds of hate. First, Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of which God had warned them not to do. For this transgression, he placed on them, for lack of a better word, a curse. God’s curse on “our first humans” could be construed as the first instance of hate. And the curse that he placed on Eve is exceptionally harsh: and “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow, thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”

Not only has the wrath come down on Man and Woman, but the woman shall also have the added burden of Man ruling over her. The curse on Eve appears to be laced with a bit of venom. That is at the core, to this day, of the man/woman relationship. In the real world, God’s design (or the bible writers) for women plays a significant role in what we think of each other. And if we tell the truth, most of the time, what we think is not particularly good.


If you choose to take the bible as the word of God or not, there is no denying that the treatment of Man and woman is not equal. It is the way of life, of nature. And with no doubt is a cause of resentment and hate. No person with a sense of self wants anyone to rule over them. Any right-thinking person would see this curse or will of God, as many—both Man and woman— would with justification. Not a humane thing to do. And it is hard to deny that it would not be easy to live with or be reminded of through life’s journey. And it is not a stretch to think that Eve would have hate in her heart for not only Man but also God for bringing on her such a horrible fate.

To have Adam as her master, the only Man there is, could not have been an easy thought to think. Adam not just being her master but a weak one at that. We cannot forget what happened in the garden. Was it the apple or was it the woman? Or perhaps the snake. No, it was as it is today:


It is not easy to dodge what is plain to see. Not just in eons past, but what we see today. Perhaps that is why there is such a high divorce rate and couples finding it hard to stay together. You read and hear it all the time that a marriage takes work. I say work is what we do to get what we want and need; we should not have to work hard to keep it. So how would you, with all of this work, find time and space to appreciate the life that you have?  It is undoubtedly one of those things that should cause you to think. But if this is true—as it appears that it is— the hate we see today is firmly rooted in the past.

There has been fertile ground from the beginning for hate to sink its roots. God’s words would be reason enough for Eve to be the birth mother of hate and female resentment. We see it all around us. It festers and comes to a head much too often. It is The Battle of The Sexes. Let the jostling begin.

Let us call it for what it is; both Adam and Eve were set up to fail. And fail they did. You want proof.

Just one killing of another person is enough. Not to say that Adam or Eve ever took a life—the bible does not say they did. But their progeny did, and we have killed since forth. We do it as a way to get what we want or destroy what we do not. It is where some go first to settle a dispute. The bible is replete with wars and conflicts that almost always end in death. Nations were and are to this day exhorted to fight each other. These atrocities are not the fault of the woman. It came after her, not because of her. Though, the seed of hate was planted in Eve by life itself.

Of course, I say what I do only if the bible’s story is true. True or not, nature is. And if we looked at it from that point of view, what constitutes Man and woman would not change. The way that we live our lives would be the same.

It goes deep whether it comes from the “theory” of evolution or by the will of God. Now, let us look further.  

No matter if you subscribe to evolution as the beginning of life or creation, one thing we know for sure, hate grew with us. And another thing we know is that a woman can hate men even though she loves her “own Man.” And a man has his way of thinking as well. Many do believe, and they believe strongly that the word (WORD OF THE BIBLE) is the power. Man’s power over the woman is at the root of human relationships and all that grows from it. It has been this way as far back as our minds can take us. But is this the way it has to be? What is done will not be changed. What can be done now can be that change. What is next will follow.


Hate—Who Was First

God commanded that Man would “rule over woman.” It is taught by religious doctrine, words of the bible, and other sacred books. Those words pack a great deal of power in thought and deed. It is there where we should first look to understand the human condition. We can deny it, pretend it is not there, and hope it will go away. But these three words—rule over the woman—are the foundation of how much of life is lived today. For those who believe in creation, these words are inherently true. Even when viewed through the lens of science, the relationship does not change much, if at all. By nature, it is still at the core and is the basis of the survival of the species.

Both Man and woman must agree, or one will dominate. The dominant one would have been the Man, for the woman could refuse to mate, at which time reproduction would cease.

Creation or evolution, either way, no matter your view, is not hard to understand why the woman would be the first to show signs of hate. How could she not when God is sounding increasingly like a man and is promising her pain. And Man is giving it to her. No matter how it may have been, Man and Woman had to come together for the good of the whole. It could be no us without them. The human race could not survive without it. When it is all said and done, we look at what the male and female mean for life. I do not think that hate was intended: not by us. It is just a feeling brought on by a thought and the actions of others. However, it does go deep and is hard to suppress. For a good reason, we now know.

There was a time in our history when consent had no standing, and the Man used force when all else failed. There were no laws to protect the life and liberty of the woman. The Man did with her as he pleased. The only rights the woman had was the one to do as she was told. And if she refused, there would be a price to pay. The Man would withhold everything the woman would need for survival until she gave in. If not, he would beat her into submission or worse. Depictions of how the Man/Woman relationship may have been in prehistoric times show that brute force was the first choice to gain compliance rather than the last.

The male would just take what he wanted. To this day, it still exists in some measure in most societies of the world; though, we are not quick to own up to it.

Here is another thing that we will not admit. You or I, male or female, will have the controlling power in our relationship. One of us will have the last word. Someone has to be the one. When more than one thing is set in motion, either at the same or different times, hardly if ever will they stop at the same time. But, of course, it would be hard for two people to measure unless one knew that they should not be the one to have the last say. Now, this would have been the woman for sure. And let us be honest here, it is much that way today when one listens while the other talks. It is a conversation.

If it is all listening and no chance to talk, you are engaging with a dictator. The one who is doing all of the talking, the dictator, would more or less be telling you what to think or not.

Love and Hate What Is There To Know

Love and hate, far apart yet so close. At first, there may or may not have been love, but for sure, there were those times, and there were many, when Man and woman were close, if just in the physical sense.

I don’t know about the warm and fuzzy feelings. But indeed, they did, mate. We are proof of that. And it would be reasonable to believe the signs of love were there early on. But being forced to mate against your will even once could turn any good feelings into hate. To feel you have no power to resist can cause resentment and the seeds of hatred to grow. Love is a gift—hate is pain. One you give and accept freely, the other you handle as best you can. It does not matter if you are on the giving or receiving end of things. Love and hate were born in the heart and mind of the woman. And there is just a thin line between the two.

Love or hate, created, or evolved, we likely would not be here today if the woman had an intense hatred for Man. That is unless there was a need only the Man could provide, and there was. Protection and food were what the Man had in his favor. It is not likely that his sexual prowess or charming ways won over the woman. However, it all came about, and we know it did. There were a Man and woman of some kind to birth and bring forth the human race and male and female for most other forms of life. It would not have been easy for them to mate or her to conceive if the woman did not want the Man near her. It is clear, though, that he protected her and made sure that her basic needs were met.

Now, this could have been just for obvious reasons. That is, for her to be healthy and strong enough to bear children. But, of course, it is possible, and some would say likely, that sex alone was a good enough reason. You would not have to be a deep thinker to conclude that It was certainly made to feel good and pleasurable for a purpose. As we know not all things are so. As there are things that we do that feel bad, that is for a purpose as well.

Let Us Do It Again

There was not as much to be concerned about other than survival during the early days. Politics and the agendas we see today were not even a thought back then. In the beginning, sex, more likely than not, was the sole reason for wanting to mate. But if the woman did not want the Man, a man, any man near her, I could see this as the harbinger of force to copulate. It would be reasonable to think that it was not this way at first. Having sex, by nature, is meant to give pleasure to assure that the Man and woman would have the desire to do it again. It is the timing of the act that would have/could have been an issue. Much as it is to this day. No matter how we came to be, the drive of the Man and woman was not meant to be the same, for a reason. Just a bit of tinkering with your thoughts will tell you why. Though, it is asserted today that women and girls are just as eager for sex as men and boys are. I tend to agree.

Another thing that could have caused the woman to hate is taking on more than one mate by Man; though, it would not be a stretch to say that the woman would do the same in Man’s absence. Here is where nature, God, as I believe, or however we came to be, comes into play again. The act of conception is much shorter than pregnancy, so the Man would impregnate more than one woman at a time by nature. But, again, it was a matter of survival. Needs must be met to grow and prosper, and the offspring carried forth the seeds of life. Man and woman mating is how we do it and how they did it.



No matter how it all came about or whatever the scenario, we still cannot get away from the fact that it takes a male and a female to produce offspring. Though, the burden is on the woman. Her body has to prepare itself each month for conception. Then she must carry the baby for nine months. A mother’s instinct overpowered by a wish to survive could have caused her to think it was a thing she would rather do without, for it is reasonable to postulate that pregnancies came in succession, for there was no modern-day birth control. So, the woman’s options were few. The maternal death rate must have been high. Most certainly could have added to the hate that the woman had for Man with all of the pain that ensues.

We know that many mothers do not survive the nine months of pregnancy. And it would be reasonable to conclude that just as many died during childbirth. It would not have taken long for the woman to make the connection between the Man chasing her down, mating, and death. You do not have to be a deep thinker to know that this would add to the mothers’ consternation. I am all but sure, their detestation for the one who put them there would be on “steroids.” No doubt—though—all of these feelings were overruled by the motherly instinct for here we are.

Mating, carrying of the baby, and childbirth bring us to life. Whether by God or evolution, this is the process by which we become breathing and thinking human beings.

Nature was “designed” in a way to further the growth and development of the species. There had to be a relationship between the Man and woman that would allow this to happen. Even if there was some force or coercion, which, of course, the Man would be the one to do this, he had the greater strength. He was born with it. God gave it to him to protect against the threat to life, which means all dangers, including the creation and nurturing of life by Man and woman. We do not know how it came first, but it was now on them to mate and nurture the offspring. The proliferation of the species is by design and was necessary for the birth and evolution of human life. The Man had the power. So, force was used when force was required. Not that it was or is the right thing to do. We must continue to remind ourselves, that it was in the beginning.

There were no laws for Man; nature ruled. Hate either started here at the very beginning or a little further down the line. It would seem that it was inevitable. It was built in, or mistakes were made.

The Man had to be ready and wanting to copulate; therefore, he could do so only when aroused—have an erection. So it would be at any time or place. The woman, on the other hand, may or may not have been receptive to the act. It is not hard to imagine that this could cause some bitter feelings. And when taken with all else could have given the woman a reason to hate. I am not so sure. What I do know is that it takes a man and a woman to create another human. Created or evolved, what we believe will not change a thing. It will all remain the same. The man and woman sex organs (genitals) were designed for coupling to allow for giving and receiving.

The penis and vagina were not an afterthought and not by chance. It is how it was and, for now, how it is. Even so, hate does not stop where it began. It spreads like a virus or a deadly disease.

A passage from the Book of Genesis reads, “And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.” Now I am thinking that both Cain and Abel’s jobs were the kind of occupations that would be looked upon as a good thing contributing to others’ health and well-being. Now in the next reading, we will see that is not so for poor Cain, “but unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.”

Now that he is angered and full of hate, Cain kills his brother Able. He has learned hate. Or did he feel it? From here, the bible is replete with wars, killings, and rapes. This story is from the bible, so either you believe it, or you do not. For sure, hate was born from us, and all of these things have come to pass. Now let us look at it from an evolution point of view.

Biological Process of Evolution

The biological process of evolution and the beginning of life on earth, for many, is no more or less believable than the Book of Genesis. Even the most noted scientist would find it complicated to understand.  A line has been drawn, and sides have been taken. It is the main event of all things that we challenge. Were we created, or did we evolve? The beliefs are just as strong for both sides. Each is steadfast in their views. Well, why not both. I call it Creavolution. Creation because at some point we did not exist, it is how we came to be. It matters not if you believe in God or religion. It is so.

Evolution gives shape to our lives, and it is how we grow. These two are the forces that are one with all life all the time. It is the new, which the Creator created, and all things that evolved from it. Look at it this way; we have to use what we know to understand what we do not. At one time, you and I were not here. Now we are. The sperm and egg of our parents created us.

We were created to evolve to create, and we evolve when our needs are met. All that we need was here before us. But someone does have to teach us how to live. Where there is a need, there is a way. If there is no way, there is no need. It is nature. It is life. For life to exist, there must be the means for survival if we are to survive. Live is what whoever or whatever created the first of us wanted us to do. That is why hate was not strong enough to destroy life, though, many lives have been destroyed.

Life, as we understand it, is to create more life. That is to be fruitful and multiply. It is what keeps all living things alive. What else we do is up to us and is just a by-product, not the main event. All life must first be to grow and become. Growth starts when life begins. And when life began, soon after came hate. The seeds were planted in fertile soil by those who came before us. And the harvest thereof we will reap. The symptoms remain the same when the cause does not change. Hate will be with us as long as we are reminded of its presence. It is by us that it survives.

Man or Woman

In the beginning, Man had no reason to hate. He was in charge. He had it going on. The woman had the burden of hate placed on her, for she received just what Man would offer. If we changed the names, it would still be the same. We are now known as Man and woman. We have a name, which is our label. We must use the labels that we know by shapes and words to make sense of our world. As we grow and change, our labels will change. We will not have a thought of what a thing is if it does not have a label. Nor will we know its purpose. No one would know who we are, and we would not know them. You and I would not even know who or what we are.

There are things a society must have in place for us to thrive and grow. Labels are one of these things.  Life would not be the same without them. In fact, before long, there would be no life. There first would be disorganization and, ultimately, chaos and death.


Definition: Woman without the man.

There are groups, some well-known, and others not so much, that represent the interest of women. It is a good thing, but some of the things they say cause me to pause and think, what does it all mean. One aspect goes to the heart of our existence. They say they are not a part of Man when—of course—we are a part of each other. They refuse to carry the woman label and say that they will not stay in “their place.” Instead, they refer to themselves as “womayn.” They do not want to be part of Man, and their thinking is somewhat understandable. Yet we must be able to live together to survive. We are from the same beginning and alike in so many ways. And the difference does not amount to much.

If you take away our reproductive organs and make further adjustments to our anatomy, you will not have males or females. You will have a person. But that is not the way it is, nor was it to be. Still, we have some who say they have no place and do not put a label on them. We are here. Thus, we do have a place and a label. Yes, if we accept it or not, it is so. In many ways, just being a person with a name, which is a label, tells who we are and where we stand. Some things we can change, others—of course—we cannot. We have to change how we think about them.

Why do we make it so hard to live when living is what we should want to do.

We all have a place starting in our mother’s womb. It comes with a label that tells who we are. And our place is in the order of our birth, as well. That order does not change. There are labels that we have that will change as our roles in life change. When we feel that we do not have a place, we will get less from the place we are in now. What we do know is that Man was gifted, or damned— depends on your perspective— with the physical power to rule. To change the label from woman to womayn now will not change what is; the label cannot come before what is to be labeled. In other words, it must first be before it is. And the woman is as is the Man. What can change is the woman’s place, for we all have a place to belong.

If I am Man and you hate me, I should not have to wonder why. It is in the details of our existence. Though there is one thing that is not in doubt, we need each other.

Do You Know Your Place

We were born to belong, not to be alone. To do so, we have to fit in someplace. We must stand up before we can stand out. We do this with the help of those who support who we are and what we do in a place where you can be your own person—the authentic you. Being likewise can be in doubt if you are a woman. When restrained by nature’s rules and Man’s dictates, the mind can traverse that thin line between love and hate. She, the woman, may have felt put upon by the cruel hand of fate. That creavolution—how I believe we came about—dealt her a card less than she needed to play. You could wonder why, but there is no need. In the beginning, life was basic.

The drive to reproduce was born in Man. It is the one thing that would assure the survival of the species. We came into existence with no room for error. It is more than doubtful that equality of the sexes was on the mind of Man or woman. Life would not allow for it at that time. The mind could not go there, for there was no basis in the present reality. So, this is one time in our history when we, both Man and woman, did have to stay in our place. To know when is to know how.

Instinct and the sense of smell were essential for mating. Man and woman likely did not look that different from each other, so it would not have been good looks. And unlike today, sexual intercourse was not face-to-face. It is likely little if any show of affection took place. Romance probably came in second, or at least down the line a bit. It would be interesting to know just why humans thought romance would be a way to go. Just maybe it was a type of ownership expressed in a more sophisticated manner. When I first penned these words, I wrote, “there is no other animal that does this.” I was wrong because later on, I witnessed it myself, first hand. Is there anything to take from this?

Preface: (prehistoric caveman account) Hair mostly covered the entire body of both Man and woman—for a good reason—with just four things of note setting them apart. Those things that made the difference, of course, were the sex organs and the female breast. It had to be this way for survival and feeding the young.

Whether we believe we were created or we evolved, we could not be the same. We had to be different to be at all. Man and woman were built (designed) to accommodate each other for mating, if not a thing else. And Man was given a choice by way of strength to choose. It would not be a stretch to think that the woman would not be eager to accept this type of arrangement. For better or worse, some would say not much has changed. That may be, but survival is our most vital drive, and sex is how we do it.

“And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden. And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch. And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehu’ja-el: and Mehu’ja-el begat Methu’sa-el: and Methu’sa-el begat Lamech. Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.”

And Lamech took unto him, two wives.” Now, this was just another reason for the woman to hate.

Love or hate, the Man and woman have a bond. We are the only one of our kind. There can be no one without the two. Did you notice that Man was written with a capital M when there was no need to do so? It may seem—to some—that male chauvinism was at work. But, no, I did it on purpose and for a reason. What were your emotions? Did you feel hate or anger and want to strike back. If so, you are likely a Woman. And for Man, you should not have to wonder why.


What do you think? Take a moment to gather your thoughts. You just witnessed The Birth of Hate. You can say with assurance that you are among the first to do so. You have seen what no one has had the privilege to see. No one has composed words or constructed sentences and paragraphs before to say what they have said here. In the most fundamental sense, hate is not newborn. How I see its birth is. There was no attempt to be an indictment, and it is not. It was just a walk back in time—an extrapolation of a given using logic as a guide. It is so, no matter your present-day beliefs.

Woman’s burden Because of Man

The Woman and Girl Do This Because Of Man

White Covering Not to Show Panties

A Heavy Load To Carry

From the time they rise in the morning to when they lie down for the night, a female (woman/girl) has to check and recheck that nothing is showing, smelling, or telling. It is hard out here for the female gender. And to add to this, she has to always be alert to the males’ presence and intentions. So why don’t I just run down the list to highlight just how tough it is.

  1. When wearing a dress or skirt, must sit a certain way where men and boys are present
  2. When wearing pants, must make sure they are not too form fitting in the genital area
  3. She will usually wear black to avoid the above
  4. Must do the “sniff test” before leaving home
  5. No spitting blowing of the nose or other natural body functions in the presence of her boyfriend
  6. To add to the item just above, absolutely no expelling of “wind” from the lower orifice
  7. Must not admit to having no more than one or two past lovers—if that
  8. Add to the above; a virgin is expected even at the age of fifty: slight exaggeration
  9. Must pretend not to be too sexually experienced while at the same time acting as if she is
  10. And last, but certainly not the least, must grin and bear it
White Sitting Showing Panties

I am a man and what I have said comes from observation. And I will admit that what I think I see may not be that way at all. So if I a wrong and the burden for women and girls is not what I have described, please correct me—where I am wrong— and feel free to add to the list. There has to be more. Your contribution will become part of the conversation. So let your voice be heard.


And how you think is how you will feel and how you feel is how you will act.


Created to Evolve to Create

Creation and Evolution = Creavolution

Creation is the breath of life from which we evolve. For us humans, our parents are the Creators. If all is as it should be, they prepare the way for us. An offspring does not evolve into the world. They are born. Then it is our time to live the hand that was dealt to us. We are how we survive. And some are given more to work with than others, to do so.

Creation = Heaven and Earth


I have had thoughts and done my share of thinking about where it all came from—the earth and everything we believe exists. I am sure many of you have these thoughts as well. We have drawn the line and taken sides on the matter of evolution vs. creation. The beliefs are just as strong for both arguments. On one side, we have those who believe in creation and on the other, are those who believe in evolution. Each is steadfast in their beliefs. Well, I subscribe to both with an emphasis on creation.

The purpose of life is to go forward and procreate (multiply). It is what keeps us here. What else we do is for each of us to decide. The Creator created us to evolve to create. And Creavolution is how we do it. All things must first be to grow and become. Growth starts when life begins, and Creavolution gives life its shape, from when it begins to when it ends. We are all created through Creavolution by the Creator of all life and all things. It is the engine of life. First, there was creation. Then all things evolved. These two are the forces that are one with all life all the time. It is the new–created by the Creator and all things that evolved from it.

We evolve as we provide for our means of survival. All that we need to do so was here before us. As it is for all living things, for if not, there could be no life. There would be no means to survive. Those who come before must teach those who come after how to meet their needs. That is if we are to survive. The teaching is not equal for any of us. And for some, it is practically non-existent. So, you must do your best to make the best of what you do have. You must survive until you know better and how to live. That is if you can.

A place must be reserved and adequately prepared for us well before our arrival—from conception. Nurturing and caring beginning in the womb has to be a part of that plan. I will prepare a place for you. The needs of life must be there for life to grow.

We want to know what it all means.

To have evolved when not a thing came first will not answer the question of life. Evolve is what we do once we are here. It is not the answer. The answer is in the act of creation. And it speaks for the Creator. You have to believe it to see it. When you see it, you will know. These are the things that I believe.

My life has been my best education and has shaped how I see the world. What I write is inspired by the Creator. It is a natural process, not forced or coerced. I write my words as they come into my mind, and my life experiences and observations of the wonders of nature are the foundation for my insight. I am on a mission, and my life has prepared me to be the messenger. What I write cannot be refuted, disproven, or denied because it is truth.

It is about life. It is about Creavolution, which means we were created to evolve. Creation and evolution say it all; they are the combination that is life. You cannot have one without the other. You must be before you can become.

The Messenger

Makeup and Getup Will Not Keep You Up

Glowing Edge Penis Collage


Beautiful You Beautiful Me

Makeup and getup will not keep you up. Please admit to it now so that we can keep it moving. What bothers some the most is what they think others might think about them. When you think this way, you are not going to be comfortable with yourself. And those who this bothers the most will try to change things about themselves, even things that cannot or should not be changed. So, they spend loads of time and money on how they look, how they dress, and right down to how they walk and talk.

Time and money indeed are important, but not as important as your health. And some of the things are putting the people who do them at risk. So it is no wonder when you look at how some are criticized and joked about.

The talkers can get very personal and nasty. And it may very well reflect, as I suspect, on what they think about themselves. They focus on those aspects of your person that are easy to attack. When it comes right down to it, it is just superficial. But it bothers us, nonetheless. And the only change that you can make is not really change at all. Yes, making these critical remarks with malicious intent has become acceptable—it is everywhere. In casual conversation, in movies that we see, in magazines, and even in some of the books we read, there it is.


She has a big nose; he has a tiny dick. What about those ears and look at those itty-bitty titties. “She ain’t got no butt.” It is no wonder that anxiety, low self-esteem, and insecurity are at an all-time high. If you are the one doing it or if it is being done to you, there is a problem. And the problem is how “you” think. You, as in whoever you are that think in this way.

Well, let the discussion begin. And what better place to start than where the most money and time is spent. That would be the purchase and use of makeup. Though I do not have to say it, I will. A Change in makeup will not change who you are. The Self, which is who we really are, is our true makeup. It is the soul of a person, it is who we are, and it does not change. Not all of those look “pretty products” is what you need. An overhaul of how you think will change how you feel, and that is what you need. How you feel will change how you act and view the world around you.

Do not let how you look speak for you. It is a compliment to who you are, nothing more.

Makeup and a getup (an outfit) will not keep you up. For when how you act does not match your inner Self, it creates pressure on you. You then have to try to act the way you look. The Self can only come out when the outside is inside. So then, how you feel depends on how you look, and it grows with time, and each day as one age, the “look” is harder to maintain. It Is How You Think that does not allow you to be the real you. You have done too much when what you do cause you to act and look like who you are not. If I knew you and now could barely tell who you are, and you do not look and act like the person I knew, you have gone too far. Or is it that I did not know you at all.

How will I know who it will be when I see you again when you are changing your face as often as you are changing your mind. And it is all based on how you think you look and what you think others think about you. Feeling this way opens your mind to let the messages come in from the “beauty industry,” You then become prey to their marketing schemes. You do not need all that they are telling you that you do. And let me remind you before I forget. The “you” I talk about is not you unless it is you. So, take no offense if it is not you who you see. It very well could be someone you know.

How Much Does It Cost

Beauty It’s All about the benjamins

Women in the United States spend over 8 billion dollars a year on cosmetics, which is almost as much spent on food. And they are now taking increasingly drastic measures to alter their appearances through surgical means. Money spent on cosmetic surgery and non-surgical aesthetic procedures is increasing drastically among all women, including younger women and Women of Color. It is not complicated to me why. Women and young girls (as young as four) have been conditioned to think that it is necessary to cover up to look pretty. Is any part of this true? I think not.

We do want to attract and be attractive to the opposite sex. Well, here is the way it is with men and what they believe. That is if they are one of the reasons why. And we know that they are. Men believe, and I should know, some is better than none if makeup is what you want to do. And if so, less would be the best. The more makeup you put on, the more his mind will change when you take it off. Real men want the real you. They know you are in there somewhere.

Beauty is not all it is “made up” to be, or is it. A Change in makeup will not change who you are. Do not measure yourself against the “pretty” women you see in the magazines. You do not know what their parts are made of, and Photoshop is a hell of a program.

When Beauty Is Not Pretty

Just look below for some of the things that can result when you are trying for that look: The make-believe world of beauty where you can be as pretty as you want to be. Beware of the warning signs ahead.
1. Insecurity and Low Self-esteem
2. Jealousy and Envy
3. False Pride
4. Vanity
5. Anorexia and bulimia
6. Anxiety and Depression
7. Expense (cost of makeup and cover up)
8. Skin Cancer
9. Breakups and Divorce (when looks change, as they surely will)
10. Rejection (yes, even some are disappointed with their new baby’s looks)

I am not letting anyone, male, female, young, or old, off the hook. Americans, in total, spent a whopping $48.3 billion on cosmetics and other beauty products in 2019.

Genital Discrimination and Body Image

Just as with looks and beauty, now our genitals are the cause of restless nights and insecure feelings. At this point, the men of the world seem to be the main focus of this ridicule than women. Finally, though, the girls and women are catching up. And they are becoming increasingly concerned about the size and overall appearance of their vagina. But their private parts are getting nowhere near the attention that the little dick is getting. The little dick jokes are hard, no pun intended, to avoid. So, I can see why some men are now paying attention and finding all of this to be a “little” much. It is undoubtedly affecting how they see themselves.

Women may assume that men prefer that they wear makeup and do all the other things they do. But men do not have to guess what women want. They make it quite clear; they want a large penis. Is this genital discrimination, or is this what some, if not most, females need. What they just have to have, nothing smaller than large, will do.


Just what does it mean to discriminate? The New Oxford American Dictionary describes it as the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, esp. on the grounds of race, age, or sex. Since genital discrimination is our subject and the word sex is included in our first definition, let’s talk about sex for a moment. Listed below is a definition of sex from the same source.


Chiefly with reference to people, sex is sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. He enjoyed talking about sex. She didn’t want to have sex with him. With that said, what are genitals? The word is defined as a person or animal’s external organs of reproduction. But, of course, we know that they are not always used for reproduction, which brings us closer to what this all seems to mean, it is about size. And this, I guess you can say, is bringing it home to men. The penis enhancement industry not heard of just a few years ago is now a multi-billion-dollar business. It is large and is growing, no pun intended. And men who may at one time felt secure in their manhood now are filled with anxiety.

Some of the methods that men are using to enlarge their penis are dangerous and life-threatening. And need I say, it is a waste of money, does not work and most of all, not necessary. If the person you are with feels that a big penis is needed and you do not have one, you are with the wrong person. There is a mismatch. You must find a smaller vagina or a larger mind.

Are the penis put-downs and jokes just a means of getting back at men, or are true feelings involved and size matter? Why is it fashionable to joke at the expense of men with a “less than large” penis? It seems that women, and some men, find pleasure in their small penis put down. How many good men are passing them by because of their attitude? I suppose—though—they have found what they believe to be their best weapon against men and the biggest put down. And yes, with both man and woman there is large, small and everything in between so what is with this. You be the judge.

Makeup Or Not Mean Girls Don’t Play

Here is a quote from an online article by a female writer. “The “flaws” of women are often used as fodder for jokes, gossip, and plain old bullying and mean-spiritedness.” So, why not admit it now that similar put-downs apply as well for men.

Ask your SELF if you need all of this, and the honest answer will be no. The “beauty industry” marketing machine has told you that you do. And the single and only purpose is to separate you from your money. Damage to the skin or body is rightly a candidate for concealment. Makeup, when applied, should be to enhance, not conceal, and most certainly not to “create” a “new person.”

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Just what are we doing to us, or more appropriately, why do we find it so hard to be human. The beauty industry has convinced us that we are not good enough the way we are. Instead, we seem to have this desire to be who we are not. And increasingly, what we are not.

Looks should not Cause You Pain

Mirror Mirror On The Wall 1-11-16

Looks — The Achilles Heel

There is likely no one who doesn’t care about their looks and certainly NO ONE who doesn’t have that one thing that causes insecurity about their appearance. It has as much to do with what you think others think about you as what you think of yourself. It could be your nose, your hair, breast, or just about anything that has been deemed not to be how it should be by those who will profit the most at your expense.

This Can Be You Mo Money Please
You Can Have The Look-Mo Money Please

The “beauty industry” promotes the image of a better you if you just try the new and improved this that and the other. And let’s not leave out those who hover close by who try to feel better by making you feel worse and insecure about your looks and just about anything else. Most being so-called friends and even family members. When you allow yourself to be influenced by these outside forces, you will never be at ease and comfortable with yourself, the real you. You cannot be happy, no matter the circumstance or your status in life, until you resolve the issue you have with what you think you see when you look at yourself. Unfortunately, reflections do not always tell the truth. It is what you must do for yourself.

And as one would expect, those who are bothered the most will try to change things about themselves to be all that, even things that cannot or should not be changed. They spend loads of time and money on how they look, how they dress, and right down to how they walk and talk. The images you see in magazines, TV shows, and the media are not human prototypes. It is mainly an illusion, a fantasy created to sell an image of perfection. The perfect dazzling white teeth, long flowing hair, and a curvy body with all of the accompanying accouterments: the typical look you see as you go about your day.

Mo Money Please

No, not true—though—many by their spending confirms, at least for them, there are beautiful people around every corner, on every street, just not them.  And as one would expect, those who are bothered the most and think this way, and yes, think, will try to change things about themselves to be that image of perfection, one of the beautiful ones. Even try to change things that cannot or should not be changed. So they spend loads of time and money on how they look, how they dress, and right down to how they walk and talk.

Time and money indeed are important, but not as important as your health. And some of the things are putting the people who do them at risk. There is a nip and tuck here, augmentation there, reduction “up front,” and enhancement where they think enhancements are needed. It is no wonder when you look at how some are criticized and joked about for this one physical feature that is looked upon as a flaw and not the will of nature and how you were born to be. Yet, all the while, they are using this ridicule as a defense mechanism to fight off their insecurities.

LOOKS — Did You See Her Breast-What Breast

The jokes and harsh words can be personal and oh so nasty. Those who are adept at it can be quite creative with their techniques, while others show no mercy. They are as crude as they want to be. The focus is always on those aspects of your person that are easy to attack. It is just superficial, yes, but it hurts, nonetheless. Making these critical remarks to inflict hurt and pain has become acceptable—it is “everywhere.” In casual conversations, in movies that we see, in magazines, and even in some of the books we read. There it is. It is no wonder that anxiety, low self-esteem, and insecurity are at an all-time high.

You cannot hide, for long, what is inside about how you think about your outside. So, you think you are different, that no one has your perceived shortcoming, your “defect.” In reality, there is no one who doesn’t have at least one thing, from birth, that they rather not have, some cover it up, and others have procedures to change what many times are just typical abnormalities. Nothing that millions of others all over the world have as well. Try telling that to yourself. If you see you when you listen to these words, it is time to learn from them. It is not easy, at first, to accept that which you have lived with as you would an unwelcome guest, but this you can and must do. There are some things you cannot change; you have to change how you think about them.

We have men, women, girls, boys, and even young children—more so today than ever—who have become entrapped by the marketing of major businesses and a brain-washed society. The very people who should know better are caught up with the rest in the swirl of the marketing machine. We are now looking for the ideal when it is not to be found, for it is always moving and changing. And there is no better way to separate you from your money than creating “false” insecurity and a sense of need. Before you buy, know what is being sold. Money will not buy self-esteem. You have to earn it by changing how you see yourself.

If all of the people of the world were in one place, you would see much, and much of what you see would be no different than what you have seen, just “everyday people.” Everyone is beautiful at some place to someone, whereas very few would be using the so-called standard of beauty. Let me put it this way: There is no perfect person, physically, mentally, or otherwise, and few who meet the marketing criteria for beauty. On one of your typical days out and about, how many “beautiful” people do you see, few if any who have the looks of the gorgeous magazine models and the assortment of celebrities. It is all a make-believe world full of illusion, makeup trickery, and manipulation. It is not reality; it is not what you think you see.

We all have physical differences in height, weight, ears, eyes, and all of the other variations that come with being a living organism, a creation of nature. Even the appearance of the genitals causes much anxiety and personal and social discomfort. And the public buys into it.

Men, women, others, and teens spend billions annually on products to help them look and feel better. These efforts are wide-ranging and far-reaching. We are talking about all manner of makeup, clothing (with what is old is new again styles), wigs, weaves, extensions, and just about anything they are told will make them more desirable to someone other than themselves. Of course, there are also the “top shelf” items that, for many, are must-haves as well.

Here is a list, in no particular order of just a few. Please add to the list as you see fit.

  1. Penis Enlargement
  2. Labiaplasty
  3. Vaginal Rejuvenation
  4. Nose Job
  5. Butt Enhancements
  6. Lips

First thing in the morning, before your feet even touch the floor, you are thinking about one thing that is never far from your mind. You have tried not to think about it, and that is why you do. If you cannot change it, you have to change how you think about it. You wish to hide it from the mirror, but what’s the use. It will still be there when you look again. You do not have to be perfect to be perfect in the things that you do.

Some things you can change, others you have to change how you think about them.

Now Is The Time

Pain Does Not Cause Pain How You Think Does

Pain and hurt will stay with you long after the feelings of pleasure would be gone.


When I say you, as I often do, it is only you when you see you. The message here is direct. If you do not recognize any parts of how you think, feel, and act, don’t turn away, for you will recognize someone you know or love.  Or perhaps if you listen to what you read and see, you will understand someone you know better. Even someone you do not know, but you have seen them act out their hurt in all the wrong places where there is no apparent reason why.

Do not cover up your pain with the things that you say and do. It is understandable for you to do this to try to feel better. The problem is it does not work: Not for long. You will only suffer more and make it worse. No matter how fast you run, you cannot run from pain. And to pretend it is not there will not make life easier. For you know—even if no one else does—it has not gone away. Emotional hurt and pain: It is a symptom that not all is well with how you think.

No new boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife will change how you feel; they cannot take the pain away. If you want to change how you feel, you must change how you think. You cannot live in the past, so why should you let the past live in you. It is pain that you feel. Let what you do speak for you, not what has been done to you. To some degree, this has happened to most of us. It is how you think about thoughts—you know, those things you think about, those actions taken against you, and those you have taken against yourself.

Your husband or wife, or not having either, does not cause your pain. Neither your employer nor our friends are the cause of the pain that you feel. When all has been said, the pain you feel is caused by no one other than you. It does not matter from where it came. You allow it to do what it does. It is not the job, the neighbor, or anyone else or thing. The source of the pain is how you think. It is not you that they see when they look your way. You have hidden the real you under layers of hurt and pain.

You have struggled long to come out. No one knows the real you, for you have not shown your SELF to anyone. You have been afraid to look at you. When will you let the real you show up? You know there are times when no one is around that you lose it. It hurt so bad not to be yourself. It aches in your heart. There are times when you need to feel that one person, just one, loves you for who you are. Your hurt has wounded you. Remember this: I come before you, they, them, we, and us. When I do not come first, life will be disordered until I do.

why does it hurt when I think

If you have memories of hurt and pain from your past, it will change when you change how you think. You have to understand this for what it is, how it influences your thoughts.

there is nothing to Think but a thought

The purpose is to illustrate a person in thought.
Thinking Her Thoughts

Thought and thinking are not always the same. A thought is just a thought until you think. You cannot think of anything until you have a thought about it. And our thoughts are based on our awareness of the people, places, and things in our environment. A thought just is until it is not. Think of a thought as being inert, not doing a thing from when you have it until you think of what you want to do with it. The time between the two is so quick there is no way to measure. We are yet to know when someone has a thought or what they are thinking. And there is a good reason for that.

Thought is not only what we had. It is also what we have. You thought, and you have a thought. It is what we have thought and what we have to think. You cannot force a thought. To try to do so is called thinking. Once you have a thought, either you think it, or it moves to your memory. You cannot undo it or give it back. It is the same as it is with life. We cannot change the life we have lived; it is what it is, forever. Think about this. What exists to us is all we know. And we decide what we are going to do with it.

Should I or Should I Not

The purpose is to reflect the female subject of the text.
big City Street

Say you (White Girl/Woman) are walking down a city sidewalk (at night), and you see that you and I (Black Male) are approaching each other and within seconds will be at each other’s side. You will have a thought based on your perception of me, or people who look like me. This is the first thing that will happen. You will then think about us. If you are at ease with what you think, you will continue on your way, most likely unbothered. If you do not feel safe for some reason—that can only be known by you—you will go in another direction or proceed with caution: tension building each step of the way. Or you may not have strong feelings either way.

No matter how you feel, your feelings will be based on what you think. And you will act according to how you feel. We perceive, have a thought based on our perception, we think that thought, feel what we are thinking, and then we act. That is the course of an action/thinking process.

We are taught and therefore learn how to think and must decide what to think. You should not think in a way that tells you things you do not need to hear. Your thoughts belong to you. No one can think for you, though many will try. We are born with the capacity to think and must learn how to think to live. For how you think is how you survive. You must decide the thoughts you choose to think. No one can do this for you. When you are taught from the start by someone who cares about your happiness and well-being, you will be equipped to do so. Thinking is what feeds the mind and tells it what to do. So, you see, there is no more crucial phase of our mental and emotional development than when we are learning how to think.

You should not act on what you think someone is going to say. That is, to the extent that you have your say before they do. It is the fault of many. It is not seen as a problem by those who do it, but it is. Rarely is it well-received.  Usually, a person does this because they are on guard. At its core is insecurity. It is the unconscious coming through to say, I know. It is tied in with self-esteem or, better put, low self-esteem. Wait until you know all that you should. What you think may not be what you think it is. That is because what you perceive and think you know may not be what is true. Perception can be reality (real) or not. What it is to you, or how someone else perceives it, is not always what it is.

Thinking is a process, there is a start, and there is a finish each time we think a thought. Once you start, you cannot stop until you are done. Whether by choice, chance or by force, the environment you are in will be the source for the thoughts that enter your mind. With few exceptions, who and what we are around. It is then up to us what we do with our thoughts. You should not let thoughts that are not wanted stay where they do not belong. These kinds of thoughts you should refuse to have anything to do with. Let them go to your memory and let them stay there. Do not think them. They are of no value; no good can come from it.

You rule over your mind. That is, you should. Never let it tell you what to do. You and your mind should be partners, best friends, and together decide what to do with your thoughts. Yes, you do want the relationship with your mind uppermost, but if for whatever reason your mind decides to strike out on its own, it is time to be real and let your mind know that you are the boss. Do not let your mind, or anyone cause you to act in a way other than what is in your best interest: Never.

How you act is the most that anyone can know about who you are and how you think. It is by how we act that others judge us. There are things that others do that we prefer they did not. You do not control this. You are in charge of how you act. That is the only effect you can have on what others do.

The Sower of Bad Seeds


Yes, you can reap the harvest that comes if you allow yourself to be a fertile vessel for bad seeds to be planted by those who wish to see you suffering and confused. You will have thoughts that you rather not have. You cannot force them from your head and if You pretend they are not there, they will remind you that they are. Do not let bad thoughts take root. And above all stay far away from the sower of bad seeds. These bad thoughts often surface when you are where you should not be in the presence of someone you should not have in your environment. You know this, now don’t you.

Before you act, you should be sure of what you think. What you do next depends on it. When you have good thoughts, it is more likely that you will do good things and good things will happen. To think good thoughts is good. It changes how you feel and is the mainstay of a content mind.

When we think that good thoughts are bad or bad thoughts are good, it is not a good way to think. It is a sign of disordered thinking. Most certainly caused when you have allowed yourself to be confused by the life you are living. There is someone there who should not be. It could be you. The mind is doing it, and you are letting it happen. It is best to remember that good comes from good and bad comes from bad. There is no other way. Bad can follow good things. Good can follow bad. But neither thing can come from the other. There is a point where one stops and the other starts.

We will not change what has happened, no matter what you do. It has made its mark. It matters not if it is good or bad. The next done will be the new what is. What has happened is done.

You should not talk or think of the bad when things are good. Have you heard someone say on a nice sunny day, or have you said, but it is supposed to be cloudy tomorrow. How can you ever enjoy what is there when you cannot leave good enough alone. But when you feel bad about yourself, whether we acknowledge it or not, we will not let the good take root. It may not sound like much. It does show a certain frame of mind.

You should always try to think of the good when things are bad. It is cloudy today, but the sun may be out tomorrow. It is the right thing to do because you feel what you think. Thinking should lift the soul and stir the mind. How we think our thoughts form the foundation on which we build our lives. There is not a thing to think but a thought.

Your Thoughts Are Yours to Think

“I had a thought, but I don’t remember what it was.” Have you said this to yourself? The reason is it was not a complete thought. When this happens, it was not a thought that held the mind’s attention. (I did not think it was important then, maybe later.) I believe that there are two kinds of thought. Have you been asked by someone what you think about a thought that they have? As in, I had a thought about us going shopping today. What do you think about that? There is a flow to this.

Their thought is the first thought. You can answer, but you should not until you know what the person with the thought thinks. You could ask, what do you have in mind, what do you think? Your thought, then, is pending. A pending thought is still just a thought. As a reminder, there is no greater aspect or mental process of our lives that we have the sole responsibility for than how we think. We cannot talk about it enough; it determines how we live and what is done with us when we do not. It also determines whether we win or lose, go or stay or just be in the way.

Now back to the question, what do you do with your pending thought. You do not know what you think yet. What you think will have to wait for the person who asked you what you think about their thought. It is the person with the first thought. When asked what you think about a thing, if you do not have a thought that gives you a reason to think, you will think nothing to contribute. Therefore, there is nothing you can tell them. On one level, they may want your help to make up their mind. They must think first. Otherwise, they are asking you to think for them—you cannot. And you should not try, for you will be left to blame if it goes wrong and will likely not be given credit if things turn out right.

To try to think for someone is not good thinking. It is trying to do the “un” thinkable. Anyone can let someone decide for them. But, of course, it will not be their decision. To think is a process, and each time you do, it is new. And when you stop thinking about this, you will begin to think about that. Thinking has no power until you act. How you act is the best that can be known about how you think: This is a fact that does not change.

There will be times when you may wonder what all this talk about thinking and thought means and if you should continue reading. When you begin listening to what you are reading, you will not have this question to ask. I invite you to do so for, after all, It Is How You Think. The new and different tend—at first—to be met with a certain amount of resistance—which is how we learn. Be it works of art, literature, or merely understanding the use of a product you recently purchased. We must first understand and follow the instructions for best use.

do you Just have a thought or do you have a thought and think the words you see

You do not know how good a thought is until you know how good it was. Our thoughts are what we think about. And what we think creates the words that are the source for the actions we take. And there is no such thing as a bad word. The use of a word decides what it is worth. How we arrange our words say what we mean. You should never say what you do not mean to say. You will only do this if your thinking is disordered.

When we think, we are having a talk with ourselves. You can do this two ways. You think your thoughts to yourself. That is when you talk to yourself and not say a word. The other is to think your thoughts out loud—talking to yourself. Talking to yourself is an excellent way to discuss what is on your mind with yourself when no one else is around. No, it does not mean that you are losing it. We think for a reason. The reason is our thoughts. That is the only way for them to take on a life of their own.

Not all thoughts are good for us to think. A thought of things best left “untouched” is one of them. But we have to do something with them once we have one. It has to be processed. You either think it, or it immediately goes to your memory. What greater know-how could you have than to know how to think good thoughts.

Ask me what I think. Do not tell me what to think. Think for you. Let no one think this is what they can do. They will think this only if you have given them a reason to think so. It would be a reason that had the look of weakness. Your thoughts should be for your well-being and those that you serve. No one can think the thought of another.

We think our thoughts and think about how others act. We have to be aware of what exists to have thoughts about it. To shrink and expand your world (your environment) is the best way to gauge the thoughts that you think. I mean the limits we place, or not, on the people and things we allow in our world. There are some things you are better off without. Not all belong in your head. Because once it is, it will forever be in your memory. The only memories you do not have, you never had. That is unless you suffer an illness that robs you of what you knew.

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