THE BIRTH OF HATE: WHY?

In the Heart of Woman the Seed Did Grow

Prologue:

Be warned; you read The Birth of Hate at the risk of having shifting emotions, rising passions, and unrestrained thoughts. It does not promote neither does it condemn an ideology, religion, or cultural belief. It is about what is, was, or could have been. You will love it, hate it, or not. What you will not do is nothing.

What is hate? Why do we do it, and when did it start. There are many answers to this question, with no one definition settled on by past and present-day thinkers. Though keep in mind that hate is brought on most often by the action of others. There is a cause, and it does bring about an effect. We are not born with hate in our hearts; it does come to life in our minds. It is an emotion that lives on as long as we are reminded that it is there: a flame once lit that is not easy to snuff out. And the source of our hate and resentment is what gives it strength. The strength to smolder long after the flame has died down. It is so strong it often clouds our judgment and causes us to think thoughts we rather not. 

Here is what some of the great minds have to say about hate.

• Sigmund Freud defined hate as “an ego state that wishes to destroy the source of its unhappiness.”
• Based on writings by James W. Underhill, loving and hating invariably involve an object, or a person, and therefore, a relationship with something or someone.
• Penguin Dictionary of Psychology defines hate as a “deep, enduring, intense emotion expressing animosity, anger, and hostility towards a person, group, or object.”
• René Descartes viewed hate as “an awareness that something is bad combined with an urge to withdraw from it.”

There are many more who have their take on what it is when we hate. One thing for sure, it is a strong feeling. For me, that has no redeeming value; though, some feel that it does. I believe what my life has told me, and so should you. If what we want is to understand what hate is, we must first know why we do it and when did we start. So, with that, why don’t we just start at the beginning. What do you believe? Were we created, or did we evolve—either way, all that is or has been having a first of its kind.

Created by God or just evolved, Man by nature has been given the role to rule over the woman.

 Did this statement cause your pulse to quicken and your heart to race? I ask you this because I think it may have. It is no wonder, though, no matter our point of view or that of the bible, it is not shared by all. On its face, the Book of Genesis reads in a way that could cause you to come away with the belief that God was the first to hate or to be hated.  The thing is, it did come from somewhere. And just where is that place. An assortment of philosophers, pontificators, and other “deep-thinkers” have their theories and thoughts of what hate is. I will leave that to them. What is more important to me is how is it that hate came to be at all. How and why it started. Follow along with me as I lay out my thoughts.

Genesis is the book of the beginning, of the creation of life and all that is. The bible tells us this. Two verses certainly could be the seeds of hate. Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of which God had warned them not to do. For this transgression, he placed on them, for lack of a better word, a curse. God’s curse on “our first humans” could be construed as the first instance of hate. And the curse that he placed on Eve is exceptionally harsh: “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow, thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” Not only has the wrath come down on Man and Woman, but the woman shall also have the added burden of Man ruling over her. The curse on Eve would appear to be laced with a bit of venom. That is at the core, to this day, of the man/woman relationship. In the real world, God’s design for women plays a significant role in what we think of each other. And if we tell the truth most of the time, what we think is not particularly good.

If you choose to take the bible as the word of God or not, there is no denying that the treatment of Man and woman are not equal, nor is it meant to be. It is the way life is. And with no doubt is a cause of resentment and hate. No person with a sense of self wants to be ruled over. Any right-thinking person would see this curse or will of God, as how many, both man and woman, would, with justification, feel it. And find it hard to deny that it would not be an easy thing to live with or be reminded of through life’s journey. It is not a stretch to think that Eve would have hate in her heart for not only Man but also God for bringing on her such a horrible fate. To have Adam as her master, the only man there is, could not have been an easy thought to think.

It is not easy to dodge what is plain to see. Not just in eons past, but what we see today. Perhaps that is why there is such a high divorce rate and couples finding it hard to stay together. You read and hear it all the time that a marriage takes work. I say work is what we do to get what we want and need; we should not have to work hard to keep it. How would you find time and space to appreciate the life that you have with so much work?  It is undoubtedly one of those things that should cause you to think. But if this is true—as it appears that it is— the hate we see today is firmly rooted in the past. There has been fertile ground from the beginning. God’s words would be reason enough for Eve to be the birth mother of hate and female resentment. We see it all around us. It festers and comes to a head much too often.

Let us call it for what it is; both Adam and Eve were set up to fail. And fail they did. You want proof. Just one killing of another person is enough. Not to say that they ever took a life—the bible does not say they did. But their progeny did, and we have killed since forth. We do it as a way to get what we want or destroy what we do not. It is where some go first to settle a dispute. The bible is replete with wars and conflicts that almost always end in death. Nations were and are to this day exhorted to fight each other. These atrocities are not the fault of the woman. This came after her, not because of her. Though, Eve is where the seed of hate was planted by life itself. Of course, I say what I do only if the bible’s story is true. True or not, nature is. And if we looked at it from that point of view, the make up of man and woman would not change. The way that we live our lives would be the same.

It does go deep whether it comes from the “theory” of evolution or by the will of God. Now, let us look further. No matter if we do or not, one thing we know for sure, hate began and grew with us. And another thing we know is that a woman can hate men even though she loves her “own Man.” And a man has this way of thinking as well. If you believe it is just a yarn, it very well maybe. Yet and still, it would be one tall tale that has been true to life. Many do believe, and they believe strongly that the word is the power. The power that man has over the woman is at the root of human relationships, and all that grows from it. It has been this way as far back as our minds can take us. But is this the way it has to be? What is done, of course, will not be changed. What can be done now can be that change. What is next will follow.

God commanded that man would “rule over woman.” This is taught by religious doctrine, words of the bible, and other sacred books. Those words pack a great deal of power in thought and deed. It is there where we should first look to understand the human condition. We can deny it, pretend it is not there, and hope it will go away. But these three words—rule over the woman—are the foundation of how much of life is lived today. For those who believe in creation, these words are inherently true. Even when viewed through the lens of science, the relationship does not change much, if at all. By nature, it is still at the core and is the base of the survival of the species. Both man and woman must agree, or one will dominate. The dominant one would have been the Man, for the woman could refuse to mate, at which time reproduction would cease.

Creation or evolution, either way, no matter your view, is not hard to understand why women would be the first to show signs of hate. How could she not when God is sounding increasingly like a man and is promising her pain. And Man is giving it to her. No matter how it may have been, Man and Woman had to come together for the good of the whole. It could be no us without them. The human race could not survive without it. When it is all said and done, we look at what the male and female mean for life. I do not think that hate was intended: not by us. It is just a feeling brought on by a thought and the actions of others. However, it does go deep and is hard to suppress. For a good reason, we now know.

There was a time in our history when consent had no standing, and force was used when all else failed. There were no laws to protect the life and liberty of women. The man did with her as he pleased. The only rights woman had was the one to do as she was told. And if she refused, there would be a price to pay. All the things that man provided would be withheld until she gave in. If not, he would beat her into submission or worse. Depictions of how the Man/Woman relationship may have been in prehistoric times show that brute force was the first choice to gain compliance rather than the last. The male would just take what he wanted. To this day, it still exists in some measure in most societies of the world; though, we are not quick to own up to it.

Here is another thing that we will not admit to. You or I, male or female, will have the controlling power in our relationship. One of us will have the last word. Someone has to be the one. When more than one thing is set in motion, either at the same or different times, hardly if ever will they stop at the same time. Of course, it would be hard for two people to measure unless one knew that he or she should not be the one to have the last say. Now, this would have been the woman for sure. And let us be honest here, it is much that way today when one listens while the other talks. It is a conversation. If it is all listening and no chance to talk, you are engaging with a dictator. It would more or less be you being told what to think or not.

Love and hate, far apart yet so close. At first, there may or may not have been love, but for sure, there were those times when man and woman were close, if just in the physical sense. I don’t know about the warm and fuzzy feelings. But indeed, they did, mate. We are proof of that. And it would be reasonable to believe the signs of love were there early on. But being forced to mate against your will even once could turn any good feelings into hate. To feel you have no power to resist can cause resentment and the seeds of hatred to grow. Love is a gift—hate is pain. One you give and accept freely, the other you handle as best you can. It does not matter if you are on the giving or receiving end of things. Love and hate were born in the heart and mind of the woman. And there is just a thin line between the two.

Love or hate, created, or evolved, we likely would not be here today if the woman had an intense hatred for Man. That is unless there was a need only the Man could provide, and there was. Protection and food were what the Man had in his favor. It is not likely that his sexual prowess or charming ways won over the woman. However, it all came about, and we know it did. There were a man and woman of some kind to birth and bring forth the human race. It would not have been easy for them to mate or her to conceive if the woman did not want the man near her. It is clear, though, that he protected her and made sure that her basic needs were met. Now, this could have been just for obvious reasons. That is, for her to be healthy and strong enough to bear children. Of course, it is possible, and some would say likely, that sex alone was a good enough reason. It was certainly made to feel good and pleasurable for a purpose, as we know not all things do. As there are things that we do that feel bad, that is for a purpose, as well.

There was not as much to be concerned about other than survival during the early days. Politics and the agendas we see today were not even a thought back then. In the beginning, sex, more likely than not, was the sole reason for wanting to mate. But if the woman did not want the man, a man, any man near her, I could see this as the harbinger of force to copulate. It would be reasonable to think that it was not this way at first. Having sex, by nature, is meant to give pleasure to assure that the man and woman would have the desire to do it again. It is the timing of the act that would have/could have been an issue. Much as it is to this day. The drive of the Man and woman was not meant to be the same, for a reason. Just a bit of tinkering with our thoughts will tell us why.

Another thing that could have caused the woman to hate is taking on more than one mate by man; though, it would not be a stretch to say that the woman would do the same in the man’s absence. Here is where nature, God, as I believe it to be, or however we came to be, comes in to play again. The act of conception is much shorter than pregnancy, so the man would impregnate more than one woman at a time by nature. It was a matter of survival. Some needs must be met to grow and prosper, and the offspring carried forth the seeds of life. The mating of the Man and woman is the way that it was done. No matter how it all came about or whatever the scenario, we still cannot get away from the fact that it takes a male and a female to produce offspring. Though, the burden is on the woman. Her body has to prepare itself each month for conception. Then she must carry the baby for nine months. A mother’s instinct overpowered by a wish to survive could have caused her to think it was a thing she would rather do without, for it is reasonable to postulate that pregnancies came in succession, for there was no modern-day birth control. So, the woman’s options were few. The maternal death rate must have been high. Most certainly could have added to the hate that the woman had for Man with all of the pain that ensues.

We know that many mothers do not survive the nine months of pregnancy. And that just as many died during childbirth. It would not have taken long for the woman to make the connection between the Man chasing her down, mating, and death. You do not have to be a deep thinker to know that this would add to the mothers’ consternation. Their detestation for the one who put them there would not be helped either, I am sure. Mating, carrying of the baby, and childbirth are how we are brought to life. Whether by God or evolution, this is the process by which we become breathing and thinking human beings.

Nature was “designed” in a way to further the growth and development of the species. There had to be a relationship between the Man and woman that would allow this to happen. Even if there was some force or coercion, which, of course, the man would be the one to do this, he had the greater strength. He was born with it. It was given to him to protect against the threat to life, which means all dangers, including the creation and nurturing of life by man and woman. We do not know how it came first, but it was now on them to mate and nurture the offspring. The proliferation of the species is by design and was necessary for the birth and evolution of human life. The man had the power. So, force was used when force was required. There were no laws for man; nature ruled. Hate either started here at the very beginning or a little further down the line. It would seem that it was inevitable. It was built in, or mistakes were made.

The Man had to prepared to copulate, therefore, would have to do so when aroused. It would be at any time or place. The woman, on the other hand, may or may not have been receptive to the act. It is not hard to imagine that this could cause some bitter feelings. And when taken with all else could have given the woman a reason to hate. I am not so sure. What I do know is that it takes a man and a woman to create another human. If you believe we were created or evolved, it will not change a thing. It will all remain the same. The man and woman sex organs were designed for coupling to allow for giving and receiving. The penis and vagina were not an afterthought and not by chance. Or is that not the way it is meant to be. Even so, hate does not stop where it began. It spreads like a virus or a deadly disease.

A passage from the Book of Genesis reads, “And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.” Now here I am thinking that both Cain and Abel’s jobs were the kind of occupations that would be looked upon as a good thing contributing to others’ health and well-being. Now in the next reading, we will see that is not so for poor Cain, “but unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.” Now that he is angered and full of hate, he kills his brother Able. He has learned hate. Or did he feel it? From here, the bible is replete with wars, killings, and rapes. This story is from the bible, so either you believe it or you do not. For sure, hate was born from us, and all of these things have come to pass. Now let us look at it from an evolution point of view.

The biological process of evolution and the beginning of life on earth, for many, is no more or less believable than the Book of Genesis. Even the most noted scientist would find it complicated to understand.  A line has been drawn, and sides have been taken. It is the main event of all things challenged. Were we created, or did we evolve. The beliefs are just as strong for both sides. Each is steadfast in their views. Well, why not both. I call it Creavolution. Creation because at some point we did not exist, it is how we came to be. It matters not if you believe in God or religion. It is so. Evolution gives shape to our lives, and it is how we grow. These two are the forces that are one with all life all the time. It is the new, which was created, and all things that evolved from it. Look at it this way; we have to use what we know to understand what we do not. At one time, you and I were not here. Now we are. The sperm and egg of our parents created us.

We were created to evolve to create, and we evolve when our needs are met. All that we need was here before us. But we do have to be taught. Where there is a need, there is a way. If there is no way, there is no need. It is called nature. It is called life. For life to exist, there must be the means for survival if we are to survive. Live is what whoever or whatever created the first of us wanted us to do. That is why hate was not strong enough to destroy life. Though, many lives have been destroyed.

Life, as we understand it, is to create more life. That is to be fruitful and multiply. It is what keeps all living things alive. What else we do is up to us and is just a by-product, not the main event. All things must first be to grow and become. Growth starts when life begins. And when life began soon after came hate. The seeds were planted in fertile soil. And the harvest thereof we will reap. The symptoms remain the same when the cause does not change. Hate lives on for as long as we are reminded of its presence.

In the beginning, Man was given no reason to hate. He was in charge. He had it going on. The burden to hate was placed on the woman, for she received just what Man would offer. If we changed the names, it would still be the same. Man and woman are now how we are known. We have a name, which is our label. We must use the labels that we know by shapes and words to make sense of our world. As we grow and change, our labels will change. We will not have a thought of what a thing is if it does not have a label. Nor will we know its purpose. No one would know who we are, and we would not know them. You and I would not even know who or what we are. There are things a society must have in place for us to thrive and grow. Labels are one of these things.  Life would not be the same without them.

There are groups, some well-known, and others not so much, that represent the interest of women. It is a good thing, but some of the things they say, I wonder. One aspect goes to the heart of our existence. That is that they are not a part of Man when we are a part of each other. They refuse to carry the woman label and say that they will not stay in “their place.” They refer to themselves as “womayn.” They do not want to be part of Man, and their thinking is somewhat understandable. Though yet and still, we are from the same beginning and alike in so many ways. And the difference does not amount to much.

If you take away our reproductive organs and make further adjustments to our anatomy, you will not have males or females. You will have a person. But that is not the way it was meant to be. Still, we have some who say they have no place and do not put a label on them. We are here. Thus, we do have a place and a label. Yes, if we accept it or not, it is so. In many ways, just being a person with a name, which is a label, tells who we are and where we stand. Some things we can change, others—of course—we cannot.

We all have a place starting in our mother’s womb. It comes with a label that tells who we are. And our place is in the order of our birth, as well. That order does not change. There are labels that we have that will change as our roles in life change. When we feel that we do not have a place, we will get less from the place we are in now. What we do know is that Man was gifted, or damned— depends on your perspective— with the physical power to rule. To change the label from woman to womayn now will not change what is; the label cannot come before what is to be labeled. In other words, it must first be before it is. And the woman is as is the man. What can change is the woman’s place, for we all have a place to belong. If I am Man and you hate me, I should not have to wonder why it is in the details of our existence.

We were born to belong, not to be alone. To do so, we have to fit in someplace. We must stand up before we can stand out. We do this with the help of those who support who we are and what we do in a place where you can be the person you are. That can be in doubt if you are a woman. When restrained by nature’s rules and Man’s dictates, the mind can traverse that thin line between love and hate. She may have—I cannot say for sure—felt put upon by the cruel hand of fate. That creavolution—how I believe we came about—dealt her a card less than she needed to play. You could wonder why, but there is no need. In the beginning, life was basic. The drive to reproduce was born in man. It is the one thing that would assure the survival of the species. We came into existence with no room for error. Equality of the sexes could not be thought of then. Life would not allow for it, then. The mind could not go there, for there was no basis in the present reality. So, this is one time in our history when yes, we, both man and woman, did have to stay in our place.

Mating was helped by instinct and the sense of smell. Man and woman likely did not look that different from each other, so it would not have been good looks. And unlike today, sexual intercourse was not face-to-face. It is likely little if any show of affection took place. Romance was a thing for the future. It would be interesting to know just why humans thought this would be the thing to do. There is no other animal that does this. Is there anything to take from this? Man and woman were covered with hair—for a good reason—with just four things of note setting them apart. Those things that made the difference, of course, were the sex organs and the female breast. It had to be this way for survival and feeding the young.

Whether we believe we were created or evolved, we could not be the same. We had to be different to be at all. Man and woman were built to accommodate each other for mating, if not a thing else. And Man was given a choice by way of strength to choose. It would not be a stretch to think that the woman would not be eager to accept this type of arrangement. For better or worse, some would say not much has changed. That may be, but survival is our most vital drive, and sex is how we do it.

“And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden. And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch. And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehu’ja-el: and Mehu’ja-el begat Methu’sa-el: and Methu’sa-el begat Lamech. Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah. And Lamech took unto him two wives.” Now this here was just another reason for the woman to hate.

Love or hate, the Man and woman have a bond. We are the only one of our kind. There can be no one without the two. Did you notice that Man was written with a capital M when there was no need to do so? It may seem—to some—that male chauvinism was at work. No, it was done on purpose and for a reason. What were your emotions? Did you feel hate or anger and want to strike back. If so, you are likely a woman. And for Man, you should not have to wonder why.

Epilogue:

What do you think? Take a moment to gather your thoughts. You just witnessed The Birth of Hate. You can say with assurance that you are among the first to do so. You have seen what no one has had the privilege to see, for it has not been said before. Though, in the most real sense, hate is not new-born, how we see its birth is. It was not meant to be an indictment, and it is not. It was just a walk back in time—an extrapolation of a given using logic as a guide.