As we know and have known from an early age, there are two kinds of pain. When we hurt, it can be physical, mental—that can and does manifest itself in bouts of crying and other manifestations and behavior—and any manner of acting out. At times, hurt can be both physical and emotional. We even cause more pain when we are in pain, not always but too often for many.
Do not cover up your pain with the things that you say and do. This is what you do to try to feel better. It does not work. You will just suffer and make it worse. No matter how fast you run you cannot run from your pain. And to pretend it is not there will not make life easier. For you know, even if no one else does, it has not gone away. Emotional hurt and pain it is a symptom that not all is well with how you think. No new boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife will change this. If you want to change how you feel, you must change how you think. You cannot live in the past, so why should you let the past live in you. It is pain you feel. Let what you do speak for you, not what has been done to you. To some degree, this has happened to most of us. It is how you think about thoughts; you know, the things that you think about.
Your husband or wife, or not having either, does not cause your pain. Neither your employer nor our friends are the cause of the pain that you feel. When all has been said, the pain that you feel is caused by no one other than you. It does not matter from where it came. You allow it to do what it does. It is not the job, the neighbor or anyone else or thing. The source of the pain is how you think. It really is not you that they see when they look your way. You have hidden the real you under layers of hurt and pain.
You have struggled long to come out. No one knows the real you for you have not shown your SELF to them. You have been afraid to look at you. When will you let the real you show up? You know as I do that there are times when no one is around that you just lose it. It hurt so bad not to be yourself. It aches in your heart. There are times when you need to feel that one person, just one, love you for who you are. You have been wounded by your hurt. Remember this: I come before you, they, them, we and us. When I do not come first, life will be disordered until I do.
If you have memories of hurt and pain from your past, it will change when you change how you think. You have to understand this for what it is. How it influences your thoughts.