Otis Redding Memorial
The Day That Soul Cried
December 10, 1967 The day that soul cried, a chilly mist hung over Madison, Wisconsin. Fans of Rhythm and Blues anticipated a thrilling visitor that Sunday night. Singer Otis Redding was scheduled for two shows at the Factory. Three days earlier, Otis had finished recording “Dock of the Bay,” a moody song that would later be his only No. 1 hit on the pop charts.Otis was accompanied by the Bar-Kays, fresh-faced high school graduates from Memphis. Otis (The Big O) had performed the night before in Cleveland. He, the Bar-Kays, his valet and pilot were flying to Madison in his private twin-engine Beechcraft. They were scheduled to perform at 6:30 and 9 p.m. But they never made it. The plane fell three miles short of the runway and crashed at 3:28 p.m. in the near-freezing waters of Lake Monona.
The sole survivor, trumpet-player Ben Cauley, was pulled from the water 17 minutes after stunned witnesses along the eastern shore of Squaw Bay telephoned for help.On November 8, 1987 members of the Otis Redding Memorial Group, a Madison, Wisconsin nonprofit corporation, culminated their fund-raising drive with the dedication of a memorial to Otis Redding on the shore of Lake Monona. The memorial consists of three semicircle marble benches, custom carved in Portugal with the initials, O.R. incorporated in the legs, Georgia gray granite marker and a bronze plague. The memorial was temporarily moved to storage to make way for the construction of the Frank Lloyd Wright designed Monona Terrace Convention Center. A re-dedication ceremony was held August 15, 1997 on the Roof Garden of the Convention Center, where the memorial is now located.
James R. Yarbrough
President and Founding Member
Otis Redding Memorial Group
There are two kinds of time in my way of thinking. It is the time that was given to each of us—our own time—and universal time/space, which is the greatest of all; it was created. It does not change. What I am saying maybe more clear if it is thought of in terms of the world, at least, as we now know it to be. There are seven world time zones. The United States uses nine standard zones. Therefore, the question is what time is the right time? With every area of the world having its own time zones, how can you know what time it is. Neither of them is correct when next to the other. Time that can change is invented by man. It is never the same and is not correct.
You should not make your decisions based on time. Time will not accomplish a thing on its own. Decide what you want to do, then make time to do it. This should be the order of how you decide. No matter how much time you have, if you do not know what you are going to do with it, you will not know how much you need. What matters is how you are going to fill the space. If you bake a cake for the required time but use the wrong ingredients, you will not get the cake that you want. What you would have, then, is a cake you cannot eat and time you no longer have. This time was your time. Let us take a look at nature’s time. In a room there are things, they come and go, some are added some are removed. It makes no difference what time these things are moved or changed, the space does not. Time is space. And there is a time for all things.
If we had the power over the nature of time, what would we do with it, where would we put it? Would we add a little here, take a little there? For sure, it would be the final step to the end. Wars would be fought over it, and some would lie, cheat and steal to get more of it. Those with the least amount of power would have very little time. Much like it is today.
This presentation is about labels and what they mean to us. And yes, we all have them. This is clear for most of us. Even so, you will hear it this time in a way you have not heard it before.
Just as you can look but not see, you can hear and not listen. You first hear, and then you listen. When you listen, you feel the sound of your thoughts and know precisely what is said. Nothing will be filtered by emotion. To hear is not to listen. It is not the same. It takes no effort to hear. This is if you want to or not. To hear is one of the senses. It is there by nature and has no on and off switch. When you focus on what you hear, you will listen. You are early home from work, what is that sound coming from your bedroom. What you hear is someone being hurt, but then you start to listen and it is then that you realize it is not pain that you hear. It is your wife getting thrilled by another man. You surely did not want to hear those sounds though you would not have known if you had not cracked the door to listen.
Hearing is the ability to perceive sound with our ears. I will not spell out the entire process, but the ears do this by detecting vibrations. When an object makes a noise, it sends vibrations (better known as sound waves) speeding through the air. Sound may be heard through solid, liquid, or gaseous matter, as well as anger, fear, happiness and pleasure. There are times when you may hear things even when you rather not. I am leaving you. I have found someone else. The thrill is gone. You are fired. And there are other times when what you want to hear you never do. I love you, yes, yes, yes. You make me feel so good. Please, don’t stop now, I coming, wait for me. You are the best.
What you hear can deceive you, just as when you see an object, person or thing and realize upon closer inspection that it is not what you believed it to be. This is never so evident that when a lover, husband or wife says, “I love you” when all along they are making love to someone else. To take it a step further to a place no one wants to be is when a person hears what is not being said. The need to hear what you want to hear cause you to change the meaning of the sound of the words being spoken. We can turn a run, as fast as we can from what is real, but it will not change a thing. If he does not want you anymore, and she is telling you that she has someone else, it will be the same no matter what you allow yourself to hear. The mind is a terrible thing when it works against you.
There are times when someone will say something to you and they do not want you to listen. They only want you to hear, this is so that they can confuse you later when you tell them what they said. What you hear then, is, I did not say that, I did not say it like that or even, that is not what I meant. Our lives are shaped by how well we know how to listen. Just because you can hear does not mean you are going to listen. We hear with our ears, but we listen with our mind. The words begin to sink in. It is then that you are focused. You are there. And you will see what they really mean when they say the things that they do.
There is a time to listen. There is a time to think. There is a time to talk. Listen, think, and then talk, to know when it is your time is what determines the outcome. These are the things you must know for knowledge to flow. It is the best way to have “give and take.” All will have a chance to express their thoughts. It works best when one talks and one listens. The key is to know when it is your turn. When you listen, you do that, not a thing more. We do this when our mind tells us to. This is how you think what is being said. First, though, you have to be where you need be to hear what is being said.
You cannot be sure of what you have heard if you have not listened. As a result, what you say may not be what you mean. Because you did not hear, what you thought you heard. You can talk and hear at the same time but you will not be listening. If you try, it would be like trying to think two thoughts at the same time. Neither one can be done. Our mind moves to what we are thinking of. There is no dual track for how we think. And a thought will not divide. It is just as no two words can be said, and no two objects can occupy, the same space, at the same time.
You have to be prepared to learn. You must learn how to listen and listen to learn. You have to listen to what you read, listen to what is said to you, and listen to our Self if you want to learn. When we are born, we do not know how to listen. It is an acquired skill. You must have a deep sense of purpose and a strong drive to learn. Not just hear what is said or what you read. When you listen, what you hear has your undivided attention. In so many ways, it is much like meditation. What we listen to can be calming when we feel it; of course, it can be quite disturbing, it depends on what you have to listen to. You have to want more out of what you hear to listen. Until you do, you will just hear. That certainly could be all you want to do.
I cannot say it too many times, our lives are shaped by how well we know how to listen. Just because you can hear does not mean you are going to listen. We hear with our ears, but we listen with our mind. The words begin to sink in. You are focused. You are there, in the moment. And it is then that you know what the words really mean when we say the things that we do.
You cannot be sure of what you have heard if you have not listened. As a result, what you say may not be what you mean. You can talk and hear at the same time but you will not be listening. If you try, it would be like trying to think two thoughts at the same time. Neither one can be done. Your mind moves to what you are thinking of. There is no dual track for how we think. And a thought will not divide. It is just as two words cannot be said at the same time.
When we say what needs to be heard, someone will listen. You should not say a thing until you say it to yourself. And that is called thinking. When we think, we are having a talk with ourselves. You can do this two ways. You think your thoughts to yourself. That is when you talk to yourself and not say a word. The other, which I have done since I was a child, is to think your thoughts out loud. This is a good way to discuss what is on your mind with yourself when no one else is around. No matter what you say, you should make sure to say what you know.
You do not have to say it all, but let whatever you say be the truth. There is a lesson in all the things we say and do. You have to listen to learn and learn to listen. Did you hear me? Are you listening now.
Vision or sight is how we see the world. You have to be in touch with your world to be in touch with you. We do this by input from the senses. They tell the brain what they know. Then the brain sends commands to the body. And perceptions are then formed in the mind for us to have thoughts to think. Our thoughts are based on what we receive, and are formed in the mind to be recorded by the brain. Our mind is where we think our thoughts and it suggests to us what to do. We have the choice to overrule the mind if need be. It is where perception has its roots. The senses are tools for the brain, and thought lubricate the gears of the thinking process.
We look out with our eyes, and look in with our mind. The human eye is the organ that gives us the sense of sight. It allows us to learn more about the world that we live in than we do with any of the other four senses. We use our eyes in most of the activities that we do. Probably most people would agree—I know that I do—that sight is the most precious of the five senses. Many of us fear the loss of sight more than any other disability. And we humans rely on our sense of sight more than a lot of other animals. Many of them use their sense of smell much as we use our sight. Our sense of smell is not as accurate as that of some animals. It is of our own doing, it is because of us. No matter how you look at it, we did it to ourselves. We have confused our sense of smell with all sorts of perfumes, lotions and potions, and powders and oils. And this often suppresses our awareness of what our nose tells us. Though, for sure, the best way to know that it is real is to see it. That is, when we have not confused that as well.
Night or day, our eyes from the time that we open them until the time that we close them are like a video camera. All of the things that we look at are sent to our brain for processing and storage. Of course, there are things we see that we cannot get enough of and others that we do not want to ever see again. Either way, the picture will forever more be there in your mind. The sense of sight is considered the most complex of the five senses for good reason. Most all the activities that we do we will need to see. Not being able to do so would make our daily lives much more difficult. Reading the paper: how would you do that if it is not in braille. Riding public transportation, though better than in the past, would be more difficult if you could not see. Taking a class, going out with friends or going a trip would not be without somewhat of a hassle, at least. And I am sure without the ability to see, you would have to touch it and smell it to become aroused. There is certainly not a thing wrong with that. Stick it in where you can get it in. Other things we almost take to be a right, such as driving, you would not be able to do at all.
To know what turns us on is best known if we can see it. But it has come to the point of even seeing is not always believing. With all the cover-ups, push ups and aides in getting it up you can hardly trust what your eyes are telling you. And for that matter, what you feel, when you are feeling. You hear all the time that men are visual creatures. Well, I am here to tell you that women are as much or more so. It goes something like this: The face, the hair, and the breast (for men), the crotch (for both), the butt (for both) and the legs (for men). Now that is the way we see it. And you have to savor those things that you like. Because you cannot see, smell, taste or touch the mind, it is the last thing most of us think about. Though you can tell a great deal about how they think, by how they act. Watch how their bodies move, look at them from head to toe and you will see, and can tell, what they consider their best assets. This would be your focus. Pay special attention to how they move and where they place their hands. And remember, it is not so much what they say as much as it is how they say it. When they know you have homed in on them, even before you speak, your eyes will have done the heavy lifting.
The eyes, alone, can draw the object of your affection straight into your head. Once the eyes lock not a word has to be said. Male or female nature will take its course. It is the connecting of souls where the heat will rise and the sap will flow.
Some look and pretend they do not see what their eyes are telling them that they do. They try to wipe it from their minds. They will turn their heads and try to distract themselves with self-control. They will play with their hair, look at their watch or start fiddling with their phone or act as if there is a thing of interest somewhere else. They are afraid of their feelings. Why do we feel this way? What do you do when you catch yourself eying your sister in-law, you know, the one with the nice butt, do you turn your eyes as if you did not notice. What about the neighbor as she bends to tend her flower garden showing just a hint of her lace panties all moist and filled with sweat. What do you do now, pluck your eyes out. What about that good-looking mail carrier, do you pretend you do not notice the bulge in his pants when he looks you up and down.
We see what we see and we will feel what comes next. You either move on your feeling or just let it be. But one thing you cannot do is “unsee what you have seen.” It will be with you and so will the feelings. Feelings that are as natural as the air that we breathe. It has been made taboo to do the things we have in us to do. And yes, there are some who do not trust themselves to be looked at now just to look. Depending on the relationship, you may not be “allowed” to let your eyes go where they want to go. Whether you are married, single, a relative or friend your eyes are there to do just one thing, to see.
What you see at a distance may not look the same up close. Fantasy is built on the wings of imagination. And some things are enjoyed best from afar. What you see is what you get, but is it what you want. What I say may not be for everybody, some of you may even think it is vulgar. But let me assure you that what I say is not uncommon; it is, after all, how we were created to be. I would say that it is just human if we were the only ones. We are not for the attraction to the opposite sex is what makes us, and all creation, what and who we are. The strongest drive that we have, and it is part of our survival instincts, is the desire for sex. And the accelerant is what we see and how we feel when we see it. The “original” man had to be ready to copulate; therefore, would have to do so when aroused. He would have to be erect and hard. This could be at any time or place.
By nature, sex it is still at the core and is the base of survival of the species. In the beginning, sex more likely than not was the sole reason for wanting to mate. We are now as we were then attracted first, by what we see. And what we see can have a different effect on you than on me. You may like it big, I may like it small. You may like it long, I may like it short. You may like it firm, I may like it soft. What you see as pretty, I may not like as much or at all. It is how each of us perceive what we see. There is stimulation all around, from the pointed breast to the well-defined backside if that is what you prefer. Look over there, what do you see, is that thing playing hide and seek. The lushness of the female form and the lure of the body sweet have a power that goes beyond what words can express. It need not be any special way, because what is for you is for you to say. Masculine or feminine, either way, man and woman are here to stay. It is not sexist to say what you like, and respond to what you see, it is the way it was meant to be, I for you and you for me.
I get great pleasure out of what I see; it turns me on and tells me that I am me. I like the rounded thighs and the pink inside. When I look, I like what I see. You may say vulgar, it’s not so nice, and I say you are not seeing through my eyes. You are seeing what you want it to be. What is wrong with telling the truth. We should not try to hide who we are. We were made this way. It is how we are supposed to be. I say the things that I do for you to know there is no taboo when it comes to you. You do not have to hide from what is you nor should I pretend that I do not see what I do. The human body is a precious thing each one belongs to you and me. What we do is see where they fit. We all look, but many are blind to what they see. I see you can you see me.
They say it is not nice to stare, but how would you know if you were not staring at me. Perhaps a look a glance is all it takes, not everyone is on the make. Though this may not be true for some, our minds are always on the prowl, be it for sex, friendship, or a place to be. You can tell by the look in a person’s eyes whether they want a snack, a meal or a sumptuous feast. We hunger for those things, which satisfy our needs. Some need a lot some can only take a little. What will satiate you may leave me wanting. When I see what I want, I want what I see. Then getting it is left up to me.
Some have tried and all have failed to make what is a natural thing to do against the law, as if the devil in you. The ones who do not care for the natural state of “man” and what we do, say that we should be punished or fined for lingering when we look at the female form. They call it ogling, “reckless eyeballing,” or some such thing. Others have suggested that it is an invasion of a woman or girls privacy. I say do not invite me in if you do not want me to stay, at least for a while. We, female and male alike, usually will not focus long on that, which turns us off or not appealing to our libidinous taste. You try so hard to be attractive and go to great lengths to make it so. Then when it is not the object of your affection that looks your way you are offended as if the only eyes that are allowed to see you are the ones you want. That is not being real no matter what way you look at it. Take the bitter with the sweet, they both can be a treat, and at the right time and place could be said quite neat.
Here is a quote from an online article. “Women are created to nurture themselves to attract the opposite sex. This is my opinion based on what I have seen and experienced. We like to spend lots of money on goodies – latest shoes, clothes, and makeup, everything that will make us look great and smell good.” These are not my words, they come from someone who should know. There is not a thing wrong with this, so why don’t we admit it as this female person has done. I will say this; though, much of it is not necessary. Men, if that is who you want to attract, would rather you be as nature meant for you to be. Be yourself that is the best thing you can do for you. Makeup, and a new getup will not keep you, or the man. At some point, it will all have to come off, better sooner than later. Women as well as men I am sure would like to know what they see is what they will get. As an added note: American women spend about $30 billion a year on beauty, which includes $20 billion on cosmetics. They also spend $104 billion on apparel. This totals $134 billion spent on beauty and fashion annually. Some of you do all of this and say you do not want men to look, go figure.
Do you think we can be immune to what we see. Because of what we are, not who we are, this we cannot do. The doctor, the teacher, the preacher or nun is a title, a label, not what was born in us from day one. Do you think they do their jobs with their eyes closed, that they have no feelings or that they leave them at the door when they come to work. No matter what you learn in school and as dedicated as you may want to be, nature will have her way and it is then up to us to control what we do. So go on and try to convince yourself that they only see a form when they see you. This is not so, for when they look they see that you are flesh and bone as all of us are.
When he peers inside to see if you have changed or not or when she cups the scrotum to feel for bumps and lumps they think nothing about this is what you would like to believe. And the thing is, many of us dress up and smell our best to go to the office, the school, and church or store. You say that your only intention is just to be who you are. You have the right, you say, to dress, or not, the way you want to be. But in the eye of the beholder, there may be more to what they see. It may not be personal, it is the way it is meant to be. You will not bend nature to your will. The creator brought us here so are you saying it was a mistake, he did not know to do. It is by nature that we are who we are. It is a fire that burns within us, it is the warmth by which we live. When the fire dies down, so does our desire, then, there will not be a thing, with life, left to be. And for some, the fire burns more bright and longer than for others. You may say this is all just being an animal. Sure, you are right, that is exactly what we are. We act as if we are so civilized. If you want to know how we are not, observe another animal species and then you will know.
When I focus on what appears to me to be an increasing trend, I cannot but conclude that there are a significant number of females of the human species who do not care very much for the warm and tender touch of a man. As I explained in my comment to the CNN online article below, this seeming desire to do without men has taken on the appearance of hate. Read on to see where all of this has taken us.
Reproduction without sex, a liberating future
By Aarathi Prasad, Special to CNN
updated 4:11 PM EST, Thu December 20, 2012
Editor’s note: Aarathi Prasad is a London-based biologist and science writer and the author of “Like a Virgin: How Science is Redesigning the Rules of Sex”.
When our mind tells us what we are looking for is somewhere else, we will not see it where it is. Likewise, you will not know what a thing is if you are expecting it to look one way and it does not. And, yes, as I am sure most of you have come to know, it can be this way with people. There are things that exist that we do not see. We cannot see what we do not know. How would we know it when we saw it? An open mind wants to know. There is never so little time that we have no time to learn.
There are times when we may think wistfully of the past and entertain in our mind what is going to happen in the future. This is an urge to be where it is not possible for us to be. One time has passed and the other is yet to come. The mind is focused where it should not. We can only get there from here, not from where the mind is. There is not a thing the mind can do without you. We should focus on that part of our life we can do something about, today is the day. What we can do for the future is face it. For the past, we have what we have done. We learn from it.
The more we think of the past and future the less time we have to think of the present. Do not concern yourself with time you no longer have and a place you will not be. We should do what we can with the only time we have. Time for the past is no more. The future when we get there will be the present. We should not use the time we have where there is no measure. We travel with time not past it. Nor can we go back to it. Our mind can go there, but we cannot.
The best way to reach our goals is by a step, by step process. There are only three different steps you can take to get there. They are the first, next and last. Going backwards will not get you there, unless you then go forward. And going sideways will only keep you on the level that you are on. You take the three steps to make it to where you are going a step at a time until you get to where you want to go. This way you know how to do it and it will serve you well to reach your next goal. When you do not do all the things you should do, to do what you want to do, what you do will not be enough. Any step skipped leaves a void and you will not be certain how you got to where you are. And it is a place where you could easily fall. There is no you would know all that it takes to get the job done. You can only get there from here. It can be done no other way. The distance to our goals is not as important as the steps we take to get there. How we think our thoughts is what decides the path that we take in our life.
When you think you have done all you can and know to do to be all that you can be there is more thinking to do. I describe this as not knowing your full strength and worth. How can you ever know how much more you have to give? You cannot. It is simple; though, some of us will not see it because we are not willing to believe. We can learn if we listen. You have to listen to learn and learn to listen. Now, what do you believe? Are you listening to the words that you read. If you are not, you must learn how to listen and listen to learn to know what your world is telling you. You have to listen to what you read if you want to “think,” what you read. Listen to what is said to you and listen to your Self. When we are born, we do not know how to listen. It is an acquired skill. You first hear, and then you listen. When we listen, we feel the sound of our thoughts.
To hear is not to listen. It is not the same. It takes no effort to hear. This is if you want to or not. To hear is one of the senses. It is there by nature and has no on and off switch. To listen is not a sense it is a skill. If you want to listen, it must be what you want to do.
Do not let a disordered mind tell you what to do, yours or anyone else’s. If you do, you will not think in a rational way. You will see yourself build things up and then tear them down. This is the way you think your thoughts. You will do this without fail. It is a pattern that does not change. That is, until you change. You have to change your way of thinking. When we do not think right, what we do will not be right. All wrong things come with a price. This is so even when we do not know the cost.
What I do know, is no one wants to stand close to the “flame.” Even you will find it hard to live with what is going on in you. No one will come up to you to say they do not want to be scorched. But some who would rather come near will not for fear of being upset. When we change how we think, how others treat us will change as well. When how you think is out of control and causing harm, you are the last one to know. We are not soon to realize it. When things are not right, we look at all the other places, first, for an answer. One thing that is for sure though, we will not harm ourselves with full knowledge of what we are doing. It goes against the first law of nature. That is growth and survival. And to grow you must be strong. You have to believe it to see it. What do you believe?
We have to hold up our end of the bargain with nature. That is, to take care of ourselves. What we put in our body should sustain us. And what we allow in our mind should enrich our life. If not, it is of little use. It should add to your well-being, not take a thing away. For each one of us, there are things that we should never do. If what we do cause a problem, then the problem starts with us. Most things can be done; it depends on how we do them. Never do anything in a way that will do harm to you or those who you love. If you do, it is a symptom that all is not well. No person or a substance will change this or take away the pain. If we want to change how we feel, we must change how we think.
Husbands and wives do not cause our pain. Neither our employer nor our friends are the cause of the pain that we feel. The pain that we feel is caused by no one other than you and me. It does not matter from where it came, we allow it to do what it does. It is not the job, the neighbor or anyone else or thing. The source of the pain is your thinking.
Once you know better, you will do better. Have you ever heard someone say, “he/she knows better than that.” No matter what we may think, when a person knows better they will do better. You and I may think they should know, but that does not mean they do. If they did, they would. You cannot do wrong when you know better. It is not possible, just as you cannot think of two things at the same time. Which is on par with no two objects can occupy the same space.